Humorous sentences that make people laugh.

First, you are so beautiful. First of all, you should thank your parents. If they didn't give you a pair of skillful hands, could you make yourself look so beautiful?

Second, don't ask me why I did so badly in the exam. I'm hiding my power. Have you ever seen the landlord blow it up as soon as he came up?

3. Every time someone asks me for directions, I will blindly point at them, because I don't know the way at all, and to teach the world a lesson: don't trust good-looking people casually.

If you think you are tired like a dog all day, you really misunderstand. Dogs are not as tired as you.

I have learned many skills, and found that the most useful skill is "open mind".

6. My friend asked me, would you marry anyone just because you are old? Are you kidding? Can you look around and find it?

After so many years of marriage, the only thing my wife did in the kitchen was to sprinkle salt on my wound.

8. "I am a particularly introverted person" and "How introverted?" "Just now, the boss gave me more 50 yuan, and I didn't have the courage to give it back to him."

I really want to thank you. If you hadn't fired me, I wouldn't have lived such a comfortable and free life. "The boss also smiled and said you're welcome, and then lost a dollar in the bowl in front of me.

Ten, all the good ones were taken, and the rest are of course the better ones for us.

Eleven, at night, I can see many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food on the street, and suddenly feel very inspirational. Others are still eating so late, so I have no reason not to eat.

Twelve, the man accosted a sister on the bus: "You look like my ex-girlfriend." The woman bowed her head in shame and asked, "Then why did you break up with her?" Man: "I think she is ugly."

It is raining in your city. I don't know if you have an umbrella. If you don't do this, I hope it will rain harder.

14. I turned down three boys today, and I was sad to see their disappointed backs. After all, I really can't afford your real estate, fitness card and wealth management products.

15. Open my brother's exercise book: My house collapsed three times, my parents divorced twice, my grandfather was hospitalized three times, and I actually died eleven times. How shocking! How much you hate me.

Watching TV today said that "smoking is easy to get lung cancer", which made my heart tremble. I made up my mind never to watch TV again.

17. How important is your interest? I bought a smart washing machine for my mother, and I have taught her many times that she can't use it. Later, I bought her a mahjong machine, which not only can be used, but also can be repaired.

The girl said that she couldn't find a date, that is, standing in front of the vending machine, she couldn't find her favorite drink. When a boy said he couldn't find a date, he was standing in the Sahara desert. When he said from time to time, he really didn't!

I was told that there is nothing more complicated than love in this world. I threw a math book in his face.

A child gave me 100 yuan to be his parent for one day. When I got to his head teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, "Wife, please listen to me ..."

Twenty-one, it is late at night, and the child begins to cry when he sleeps. Father decided to sing a lullaby to coax him. As a result, just after singing a few words, someone protested next door: let the child cry!

Twenty-two, I: "Son, how many points did you get in this exam?" The son frowned: "Dad, next time you want to hit me, can you find another excuse?" "

Twenty-three, two female colleagues in the unit quarreled and asked me why. I can't hear anything clearly. I shouted, "Say the ugly first." "The world immediately quiet down.

24. A: "I have a buddy who used to be in the underworld, but now he has washed his hands of it. I heard that he made a fortune! " "B:" Really? How to get rich? Tell me quickly! "A:" He sold the basin! "