How do college students deal with the relationship with their roommates?

1. To measure the quality of a dormitory culture, it depends on whether the students living in it have the following good mentality:

1. Pride. Members all feel proud to belong to this dormitory 2. Feeling of warmth. Members feel that they can get along well with other members and understand, trust and support each other. 3. Self-esteem and a sense of self-validation. In the dormitory, members can maintain their self-esteem and maintain their personality. 4． sense of security. Members feel that they are protected and supported in the dormitory. 5． Sense of responsibility. Members are afraid of harming or destroying the collective norms due to their own actions and have a conscious inner sense of responsibility. 2. When faced with unsatisfactory interpersonal relationships in the dormitory, we can adopt the following methods to adjust our mood: 1. Correct our mentality, cherish the friendship between classmates, face up to and learn to deal with the interpersonal problems around us, and be our When there are unpleasant notes in dormitory life, don't complain, accuse, or worry about each other. My goal is to deal with the problem well, not to make it worse, so there is no need for me to be in a bad mood. At this time, you can think from another perspective, this is the time for me to handle my own affairs independently, it is part of my growth, I should face it bravely and peacefully, and let this unpleasant note disappear as soon as possible. 2. We can discuss together to formulate some necessary systems to mobilize everyone to care about the public welfare undertakings of the dormitory. As long as the majority supports it, things will improve. Don't always let one person do the talking, as this will make him/her feel passive and stressed. The dormitory is a place where everyone lives together, and everyone should work together to create a good atmosphere. 3. Put yourself in others’ shoes and treat others with kindness. We all live in the same dormitory. During the long study life, it is possible for classmates to disagree with each other, have quarrels, and have friction. At this time, calm down and wait for the resentment or anger to subside before dealing with it. In particular, you must learn how to deal with it. Viewing problems from multiple perspectives, including taking the perspective of others, can especially help resolve conflicts. 4. Abandon the "ideal" state. Contemporary college students' evaluation and expectations of interpersonal relationships often show an "idealization" psychological tendency, that is, imagining interpersonal relationships too beautifully and expecting too much from others. However, real life often encounters "interpersonal reefs". At this time, if you hold on to your idealized state, it will easily bring you psychological frustration. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, we must admit contradictions, pay attention to reality, and view and handle interpersonal problems with a peaceful attitude. Only in this way can our emotions be balanced! 3. Ten Essentials of Dormitory Relationship Dormitory relationship is the most basic interpersonal relationship in college and the most basic unit of daily activities. Living in a dormitory, it is very important to have a good relationship with the dormitory members. A harmonious relationship and a good mood are not only beneficial to learning, but also beneficial to physical and mental health. On the contrary, if the relationship is discordant or even tense, it will cast a shadow on life and bring about a series of negative impacts. So, how to handle the dormitory relationship well? 1. Unify the schedule with roommates, and provide tolerance and understanding in daily life. There are three, four, five, six or even more people living together in a dormitory, and it is advisable to adjust the schedule to a unified schedule. Only when everyone coordinates and abides by the rules can disputes be reduced, frictions eliminated, and normal life order maintained. If you are a "night owl" and go to bed very late at night and wait until all dormitory members are asleep before washing and going to bed, you will easily wake up other people and affect their rest. Over time, you will arouse the disgust of your roommates. Therefore, all members of the dormitory should try to unify their living time and reduce the gap between work and rest. If something really happens, members who get up early or go to bed late should try to minimize the impact of sound and light on the roommates. 2. Do not engage in "cliques". In the dormitory, everyone should be treated equally. Don't favor one over the other, and get along with some people while being alienated from others. Some people like to be very close to someone in the dormitory. They always whisper to the same person and stay with the same person no matter what they do. This will easily arouse the displeasure of other members of the dormitory, thinking that you disdain to associate with them. As a result, you may have a good relationship, but you may alienate others.

If you talk too much and try to appear smarter than others, in the end it will only arouse others' resentment and no one will say anything good about you. 8. Maintain a common living environment and complete the chores that need to be done. The dormitory is a place where everyone lives together. Everyone has their own corresponding living space. At the same time, they must also abide by the rules of life that everyone maintains together. Many dormitories have a rotating duty system, so that everyone can perform their duties for the same sanitary environment, such as fetching water, sweeping the floor, and taking out garbage. These are done for others as well as for yourself. If someone is lazy, and when it is his turn to be on duty, others cannot drink boiled water, the house is in a mess, and the garbage is not taken out, others may not say anything, but they will definitely be dissatisfied. As time goes by, more people will also If you don't go on duty, the rule of taking turns to be on duty will fall into place. The chores that each member of the dormitory should do include not only doing personal things, but also doing group things well. Some people are lazy at home and rely on their family members to take care of everything. Living in a dormitory will inevitably expose their bad habits: they never drink boiled water and drink other people's water every day; they don't pay attention to organizing their clothes and just throw them away; the public toilets in the dormitory are more hygienic. He was indifferent and relied on his roommates to do things like sweeping the floor and cleaning doors and windows. I don’t think any group would welcome a selfish, lazy and sloppy person. 9. Learn to praise, and don’t be stingy with compliments to others. Everyone in the dormitory life group has shortcomings, and everyone also has his or her shining points. After living for a long time, you will always find the cuteness. So don't be stingy in praising others in dormitory life. Everyone likes to be praised, as long as your praise is sincere. When your roommate wears a beautiful dress, don't be stingy and silent. You should praise from the bottom of your heart: "The dress is beautiful." When your roommate has achieved excellent results, don't be jealous or bitter. Instead, express your congratulations promptly. In this way, a good humanistic atmosphere is formed in the dormitory. Welcome to pay attention to Renren.com, the student non-governmental mutual aid and sharing platform "If you don't want to waste the four years of college", which can play a vital role in building a good dormitory relationship. 10. Resolve daily conflicts in reasonable ways. Arguments in the dormitory are inevitable. After a dispute occurs, it is common for no one to admit their fault. This is when a person's honesty and courage are tested. If you become an enemy because of a trivial matter and do not speak when you meet, it will cause jealousy in your heart. This will not only hinder the sexual relationship in the dormitory, but also have an adverse impact on the parties involved. Therefore, it is the most reasonable thing to take the initiative to express reconciliation and forgiveness to the other party, regardless of whether you are at fault. If one party expresses friendship, the other party will also bury the hatchet. The question is who can take the initiative. If there are problems or conflicts in the dormitory, you should communicate and communicate in a timely manner, and do not say bad things behind your back. In such a small group, gossip will only aggravate the conflicts and worsen the relationship. Although the above 10 points are all small things in daily life, if they can be done, they can get twice the result with half the effort in handling the relationship in the dormitory. On the contrary, a small "ant bug" can also destroy the "thousand-mile embankment" of good dormitory relationship. 4. Growth stages of dormitories The growth process of each specific dormitory is different. Some may be integrated in a short period of time due to the matching of classmates' personalities, small number of students, etc., while others may be unable to complete their studies after graduation due to other reasons. Still on their own. However, generally speaking, the growth of dormitories can roughly go through four stages. The first stage: politeness Keywords: excitement; friendliness; warmth. From the day you enter high school, the wonderful picture of college life is like a bunch of bananas hanging on the head of an elephant, always hanging there, neither far nor near, * **We move forward as fast as we can. The sweetest thing on this bunch of bananas is undoubtedly “dorm life.” When we tried our best to cross the finish line and finally waited to peel this banana, we were gearing up and fantasized about it many times before opening the dormitory door. The door opened in an instant. The canopy bed, large desk, small wall cabinet, and washbasin stand were all similar to what we imagined. What caught our attention the most was our roommate sitting beside the bed who had arrived a step earlier. They turned their heads and our first reaction was to smile politely. In this smile, the first scene of polite dormitory life began.

Whether it's great sadness or joy, or being calm, everyone has had a new set of muscles and bones, and a reshaped brain. Looking at the juniors and juniors who are as childish and innocent as I was back then, I feel inexplicably sighing about the changes in the world. We are more independent and tolerant. We are as gentle as the elderly. We will not get nervous over trivial matters, nor will we favor one over another based on personal preferences. Dormitory life has entered a warm and harmonious world. We are well aware of each roommate’s temperament and shortcomings, and we have also felt the loveliness and charm of each one. We have mastered the skills of getting along with them. The disagreements we once had have melted away, and those who did not have much contact with each other are now friendly to each other. Friends are still friends, but the friendship extends from the outside to the inside, and there is no need to always show intimacy to others. The small group that used to be mysterious and self-contained has unknowingly returned to the large group. There was a rare lively scene at the dining table again. If the self-control and politeness when a new student enters school are deliberate requirements for oneself, then the free and easy and educated expression shown at this time is really the expression of one's own temperament. The dormitory is a big family, and it is also a small society. It teaches us to grow in a subtle way. What is gone will never come back again. University dormitories are full of flavors. Only personal experience can give you a profound understanding of the taste. College freshmen should not have too many illusions about dormitory life, nor should they have any panic. A new environment always requires a certain period of adaptation, and the key lies in how to handle the relationship in the dormitory. Dealing with others is a compulsory course for college students, and it is also an unavoidable issue after entering society. Start by coordinating dormitory relations, handling the relationship with roommates, and taking the first step to handle interpersonal relationships. Ten essentials for dormitory relationships: "Go to bed, turn off the lights!" "Hey, I haven't slept yet, wait a minute..." Before she could finish her words, the dormitory was already dark, and Xiaoying turned off the lights: "Turn on your own desk lamp. Come on!" The next day, Xiaoying got up early in the morning. He didn't take things lightly. He bumped pots and cups so loudly that he even turned on the lights in the room. Poor people don't go to bed until 3 o'clock in the morning. Everyone didn't like Xiaoying's "ding-dong-ding" in the morning, so they agreed to send the dormitory manager to talk to Xiaoying in the evening. 5. Expert advice: Be more tolerant and cherish. Regarding how to deal with the problem of good relationship in university dormitories, teachers from the Psychological Counseling Center of East China Normal University gave a "magic recipe" - "Essentials of Relationships in College Dormitories": 1. With Roommates should have the same routine and be tolerant and understanding in daily life; 2. Do not engage in "cliques"; 3. Do not violate the privacy of roommates; 4. Actively participate in group activities; 5. Give care to others and help when they are in trouble.