Very funny quotes

God saw you were thirsty and created water; God saw you were hungry and created rice; God saw you had no lovely friends and created me; but he also saw that there are no idiots in the world, and by the way Create you.

If the government stipulates that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you. I have no regrets and will do it until death! But the government has no regulations, so forget it! Funny Weibo Quotes

Missing you is a happy thing! It's a pleasure to see you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in my heart is what I always do! But...I'm lying to you, it just happened! Ha ha!

The phone rings once, which means I am thinking of you! Two sounds means I like you! Three sounds means I love you! When the seventh tone rings... Damn it, I really have something to talk to you about, why don't you answer the phone quickly!

According to statistics, more than 99.9% of pig-headed people use their thumbs to press buttons to read text messages! Hey, there's no need to change hands, it's too late. Pig head! Funny Weibo Quotes

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was blown away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; Written on every corner..., I was arrested by the police!

If being good-looking is a mistake... I have made a big mistake. If being cute is a sin, I have committed a heinous crime. Being a human being is so difficult! You'll be fine! That’s right and not guilty, I really envy you!

When the white clouds drift by, that is the sign that I miss you; when the sun shines, that is the feeling that I miss you; when the rain falls, that is the evidence that I miss you; when thunder and lightning strike, that is the feeling that I miss you. I pray to heaven that you will be struck...

If I can meet you by burning incense for one year, know you by burning incense for three years, and cherish each other by burning incense for ten years, for For my happiness in the next life, I am willing to convert to Christianity.

I have been friends with you for so long. You have always cared about me, but I often cause you trouble. I really don’t know how to repay you, so I will be a fool in the next life! I will definitely pull the grass. Here’s something to eat for you…

It’s okay! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! I told you it was okay, but you still pressed your butt!

I miss you very much, but I’m embarrassed to call you. I’m afraid you’re busy, I’m afraid you’ll ignore me, I’m afraid you’ll think I’m harassing you. I really want to contact you, but the phone bill is really high. Gui, please call me!

If you were a shooting star, I would chase you. If you were a satellite, I would wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Unfortunately, you are an orangutan, so I can only watch you in the zoo. to you! Alas...what a pity!

I am so confused now. I don’t know what I am thinking. My mind is almost annoyed. I really don’t know what to do? Can you tell me, I really don’t know whether to eat Da Gan Noodles or Ah Q Bucket Noodles!

Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated, and for helping me when I needed help the most. There are so many words I can’t express to you, but I just want to tell you: Since I’ve known you, I haven’t had a single thing. Good things happen! You are so weak!

Sorry for sending you a text message so late. If it bothers you, I want to say something to you! Deserve it! Who told you to go to bed earlier than me?

Meeting you is the beginning of my heartbeat. Falling in love with you is my happy choice. Having you is my most precious wealth. Stepping onto the red carpet is my eternal motivation and love forever. The person is you. Unfortunately, I passed the message to the wrong person!

Because of you, I believe in fate; because of you, I believe in past and present lives.

Maybe all of this is destined by God, pulling us both secretly. Now, I really want to think about what evil I did in my previous life!

Starting tomorrow, the city government has decided to eliminate all mentally handicapped young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember! No thanks!

A very funny QQ signature

A very funny QQ signature

1. Because I only drink pure water, and I only drink pure milk, so I am very innocent now.

2. Playing with people really requires scheming. If you want to play with me, I will make you unable to do anything.

3. When the oath becomes a test, the relationship is just a perfunctory one.

4. I decided to go my own way and let others chase me every day.

5. Know that the flowers will bloom again and the birds will come again. You leave, but someone will still come.

6. I never knew that the financial crisis is actually called an emotional crisis.

7. I find that I am no longer as persistent or as bitter as before.

8. The so-called love actually means that as long as you show a little panic, you can move the other person to death.

9. If you bully me again in the future, I will curse you and become a seventh-dimensional space in your next life.

10. Is it because I shine so brightly every day that you always talk nonsense?

11. You just need to know that I am a good person selected from so many good people.

12. If you become a memory, what I fear most is that I cannot live up to my expectations.

13. What I miss now is not actually my first love, but my stupidity when I first fell in love.

14. The smile we smiled after letting go was just to cover up the painful scars.

15. In the past, I always foolishly thought that as time passed, I would forget those memories more and more.

16. If you use a honey trap, then I will definitely follow it.

17. No matter what you lose, you can’t lose your stomach, and no matter what you lack, you can’t lose your mind.

18. So far I have earned 200 million, one disappointment and one memory.

19. Let me tell you, I am a beast when I take off my clothes, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

20. Without you, my mind goes blank and I have forgotten the concept of time.

21. The reason why I can’t let go now is really not because I still love you, but because I am unwilling to let you go.

22. The chain will always fall off when it is critical, and the chain will not fall off when it is not critical.

23. I don’t know what I want, I just know that I have been longing to be with you.

24. If people live by eating, then the food is not called rice, it should be called feed.

25. I also hope to be a normal person, but this world forces me to become a madman.

26. Did you know that the chat history between you and me is full of your automatic replies.

27. There are always too many surprises in every story, why should we always insist on knowing the outcome.

28. I don’t know which famous family you are from, but your father is Marshal Tianpeng!

29. In fact, only when we let go of ourselves will the world let us go.

30. I think a charming woman is a lighter, while a woman who doesn’t understand the charming is a fire extinguisher.

31. Don’t wash it. If it weren’t for the mud, this old car would have fallen apart.

32. Every time I am in a bad mood, I call 10086, and it will never refuse to answer my call.

33. Remember not to tell ghost stories at night, because people like to hear them, and ghosts also like to hear them.

34. Being born beautiful is an advantage, but living a beautiful life later is the ability.

35. That time you made a mistake and became a big cripple, but looking back, you slipped again.

36. Actually, I don’t really wear smoky makeup, it’s just that the dark circles under my eyes have become a bit worse recently.

37. In fact, trust is a very funny kind of good feeling. I ask for it, but I can’t get it.

38. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future!

39. Although idiots are very stupid, there are always more stupid people applauding them.

40. I want to tell you, how fast time is, roll as fast as you can; how far light is, roll as far as possible. Synonyms of ten points

Chinese pronunciation: ten points [sh fēn]

Word explanation: very; very; extremely; extremely, to an extreme degree

Synonyms: very , extremely, extremely, quite, extreme, extreme, special

Use ten sentences in a sentence

1. There is a very eye-catching recruitment notice posted at the entrance of the park.

2. The two of them have a very good relationship.

3. I do my homework very seriously.

4. Xiaohong was very serious during the exam.

5. The rooster crows very loudly.

6. If he is not very sure, he will not dare to agree to it.

7. The final exam is here, and Xiao Ming is reviewing his homework very seriously

8. The bow is very delicately made.

9. My alarm clock is ringing very loudly.

10. The snow has stopped, and the new footprints are very clear.

11. The giraffe’s neck is very long.

12. The lion runs very fast.

13. This matter is very urgent, you must hurry up and do it.

14. The elephant’s trunk is very long.

15. Teacher Zhang was very angry with Xiao Ming for skipping class.

16. Although the situation was very serious, he was very calm.

17. I am very serious when I do my homework.

18. The food cooked by my mother is very delicious.

19. Mom wore a red dress today, which was very beautiful.

20. Dad’s handwriting is very beautiful.

21. I write a diary very seriously.

22. The little white rabbit’s tail is very red and short.

Make sentences with synonyms of ten.

Very: In this extraordinary period, it is safer not to go out.

Extreme: A wolf roared in the middle of the night, causing the two of them to fall into extreme panic.

Extremely terrified: Hearing the news, he was horrified.

Quite: He is very good at mathematics, and no matter how difficult it is, he can't stump him.

Extreme: We cannot go to extremes when doing things, we must consider everything.

Extremely: I played a basketball game with the class next door today and lost by 30 points. It was really embarrassing.

Special: I yearn for nature, especially the endless prairie.

Extended reading: Analysis of synonyms

1. Explanation of synonyms: Synonyms refer to words with similar or identical meanings. (Synonyms have similar meanings, and synonyms have the same meaning.)

2. The meanings expressed by many synonyms seem to be similar, but the actual meanings expressed are somewhat different. For example: exchange and communication both refer to two parties giving their own things to each other, but their matching objects are different. Exchange is generally paired with gifts, ideas, information, products, etc.; exchange is paired with thoughts, experiences, culture, materials, etc.

The objects of exchange collocation are mostly words with more specific meanings or smaller scope of reference; the objects of exchange collocation are mostly words with more abstract meaning or larger scope of reference.

3. Distinguish from the emotional color: respect and respect are synonymous in Chinese. When used as a verb, respect means respect, so people don’t pay much attention when using it. The main difference is the word "respect" and the word "heavy". "Respect" means "reverence" and "reverence", and "respect" means attention and solemnity. Respect: generally for elders and superiors, respect: for everyone (among peers).

4. Many synonyms have the same characteristic, that is, they often have the same morpheme in them. Such as: tired, exhausted, exhausted. The most different morphemes in these synonyms determine that their basic meanings are consistent; and the different morphemes reflect the differences in their meanings. Therefore, when students are looking for synonyms of a word, they can grab the morphemes that represent the basic meaning in the word, use them to form words, and then find the synonyms. Once you have mastered the method of finding synonyms, you should also pay attention to accumulating words. The more words you accumulate, the easier it will be to find synonyms.

5. The meaning of Chinese characters determines the essence of word meaning teaching, which is vocabulary teaching. Because a word only has meaning when it is also a word. Teaching word meanings is of great help to students in mastering glyphs, which can reduce mechanical memory and increase meaning recognition. It is also important to develop students' reading ability, because to understand the text, you must first understand the meaning of each word.

6. By looking up the dictionary, students can be trained to understand the types of synonyms. Some words must be connected with the context in order to be interpreted correctly, and the teacher must provide guidance. Increasing the amount of books read can also enhance students' vocabulary skills. More analysis and comparison of new words will be of great help in training children to accurately understand word meanings, distinguish nuances of specific things, improve their ability to understand and use language, and use synonyms correctly. There are very funny jokes

1. While others hold hands, I hold my dog. Take a walk, take a swim, and see who doesn’t enjoy taking a bite.

2. Heaven is in the woman’s cave!

3. Whenever someone asks me what to do, I will say do it to death

4. I want stable scores to withstand the cruelty of the final exam. Among the piles of top students, I can find a home.

5. Please don’t take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital

6. I will not watch you jump into the fire pit, I will close my eyes of.

7. During the summer vacation, you will be scolded four times a day at home: not getting up in the morning, surfing the Internet as soon as you get up, yelling at you when you eat, and not sleeping at night~

8. No matter how smart a woman is, she still has trouble with herself. Even the most stupid man is confused when it comes to a woman's appearance.

9. If you like weirdos, I am actually beautiful

10. I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out a coin from my pocket: if six of them are thrown heads, I Just go to class! After thinking for a long time, I decided to forget it and don’t take the risk.

11. A woman who says she is smart has a lower chance of being dated than a terrorist hijacking.

12. I skipped too many classes. One day I wanted to go to class. When I saw the professor, the professor was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time and you have grown so much."

13. Don’t think that just because a girl is beautiful, she can seduce me. At least she must be stupid enough!

14. If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune.

15. If a man has a little money in his pocket, he will not have any money below the waist!

16. When I got up this morning and was brushing my teeth, my mother suddenly slapped my butt behind me and said ambiguously: Young man, you have a good figure! Then Luhao ran back to the room with a smile and said to his father: Old guy, you will definitely lose this time. My son did not say that I am crazy! I almost swallowed the toothpaste when I screamed

17. Let others smell your fart!

18. My woman! You are absolutely not allowed to play outside with other men in the middle of the night! Not even allowed to drink with other men!

19. I haven’t dared to fall in love yet, just because Taiwan is alone overseas!

20. The most beautiful thing in the world is to eat well and sleep with air conditioning

21. A young man had a good job and a cheerful personality, but could not find a partner, so he went to see a Zen master for enlightenment. . The Zen master glanced at him, pointed at the phone, waved his hand, and said nothing. The young man had an epiphany, knelt down to thank him and left. Two months later, the young man came to see the Zen master again: I will follow your advice, stay away from mobile phones, stay away from the Internet, and love life. But there is still no target. The Zen master shook his head after hearing this: Use WeChat and shake!

22. When others compliment me on my handsomeness, I worry that they are not complimenting me enough.

23. For men, the most beautiful woman is the one they cannot get; for women, the most handsome man is the man they already have.

24. If you were an angel, the price for seeing you would be my death.

25. I don’t like to go to bed with just one woman many times, but I like to go to bed with many women only once.

26. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually!

27. Let the storm come more violently. After all, I sell umbrellas!

28. The world is so complicated and makes people feel so confused. .

29. You are not suitable for anything but being my wife

30. You are the best example of failed abortion!

31. You have no right to dislike my lifestyle, but you have the right to blind yourself

32. I can’t fly, no matter who it is for.

33. Nine yuan for marriage. Twelve yuan for divorce. Only fools get divorced. So expensive,

34. How do you feel when faced with an overwhelming amount of homework? You got my person but not my heart.

35. If you can’t be a bad person, just do it. Bad people are afraid of good people.

36. After marriage, a man is like a tablecloth, appearing only when eating.

37. You treat me fiercely and still expect me to speak softly to you. Is this a delusion?

38. Don’t keep glaring at me. If you keep glaring at me, I will charge you!

39. A man’s longing is a hunger and thirst for the body and a heartfelt call for sexual desire. Unfortunately, I suffer from this disease, which is also known as lovesickness.

40. A certain gentleman received a text message, written in roaring style, with the following content: Your uncle! ! ! Your mother! ! ! Your sister! ! ! Happy for your whole family! ! ! I wiped it! Is there anyone who sends blessings like this? !

41. If he says to you: Forget me. Just tell the other person: I'm sorry, I never remembered.

42. What the RMB should do is to follow the path of the US dollar and leave the US dollar with nowhere to go.

43. When I’m online, you’re offline. When I’m offline, you’re online. When I’m online, you’re invisible. You’ve already maxed out my bottom line.

44. First line: Student ID card, admission ticket, ID card. Second line: Listening questions, reading questions, composition questions, no horizontal marking: the emphasis is on participation.

45. Tutu said that if you love someone, you must be persistent. Persistence is holding someone's hand and not letting go.

46. A female classmate who just returned from an internship at a Japanese company said with emotion: No matter how high-end the meeting is and how high-end people attend it, those people will hold the meeting with you politely on the stage, but in the audience But there is always someone touching your thigh!

47. Someone always says to me: Survive first, then live. But I found that when you are busy with survival, life is gone.

48. Don’t believe any beautiful lies, such as the realization of communism depends on the efforts of you and me!

49. Either be patient or cruel. There are very funny jokes

50. When I came into the world, God promised to marry his most beautiful daughter to me. I looked around and searched high and low. I have been waiting for 21 years, but I still haven't seen the fairy. I was so depressed that I ran to ask God. God said: What are you in a hurry for? I don’t even have a girlfriend yet!

51. I bought a pair of beggar’s pants for more than 500, but my grandma patched them up for me when she washed them

52. The lake is still, like a mirror. , clearly reflecting the blue sky, white clouds, red flowers, and green trees.

53. I am, I am fireworks with different colors, he is, he is flowers that cost two yuan a bundle.

54. I am learning sacred knowledge, but you actually use scores to measure it. This is simply a stain on academics! vulgar!

55. My girlfriend and I have only been in a relationship for a week and are about to break up with me just because I haven’t read Octavio Paz’s books or Borges’ poems

56. A heart can only pretend to be one person. If you pretend to be two people, then you are not a human being.

57. When you go out, please remember: you must return the cow B to the cow!

58. CZ; I would rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince pig riding a white horse.

59. My sister wears tight pants not to show off her figure, but to prevent thieves.

60. Your current dreams determine your future, so just sleep a little longer!

61. Don’t force me. If you force me, I will pretend to be dead!

62. Next time a boy laughs at you for having thick legs, just reply: It’s just your legs that are thin. All three of your legs are thin.

63. Urination and defecation are prohibited here. Violators will have their tools confiscated.

64. This article is profound and concise, summarizing the essential elements of being an excellent woman and an excellent man!

65. Baby, if you are sexy, show off your class, and if you are cheap, show your creativity. If you spend all day posing in front of the men you are interested in, it is not sexy. You call it itching

66. Face to face During the final exam, I discovered that I had Baixue disease.

67. My computer has the same language as me. As soon as I touch it, it will freeze up. Makes me extremely excited.

68. Thinking about it carefully, I seem to have Bai Xuebing. Those jokes with very funny connotations

69. It will be great when hardware can COpY too!

70. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it but few people meet it.

71. When I call you a turtle, I insult you. You are a turtle. How can I go out to meet people in the future?

72. The most beautiful thing in the world is to eat well and sleep with air conditioning.

73. The child said: Grandpa, can you sing Little Stars? Grandpa: Yes. Child: Sing it to me. Grandpa: The stars in the sky join the Beidou!

74. Why haven’t the old man’s rags come yet?

75. I am always wandering between Cow A and Cow C.

76. The long hair that reaches my waist is as gentle as water, but it is not as cool and pointless as my short hair that reaches my ears.

77. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard or tired you are, stand up and give her a hard slap in the face.

78. Some people fall in love with some songs as soon as they hear the intro, some people fall in love with them at first sight, and some people don’t want to do some homework after opening the first page.

79. It turns out that Grandma Rong was also a flower back then, haha ??

80. A girl shouted for her motherland in front of the beautiful mountains and rivers! my mother! A boy who had a crush on her quickly shouted "Motherland!" My mother-in-law.

81. Get up every morning and yell: Fuck little Japan. This is not only good for your health, but also cultivates patriotism and moral sentiments!

82. I love you, but you have to go to bed with me.

83. In fact, a day's work is short, and it passes as soon as the computer is turned on and off.

84. Momentary impulse, crisis for descendants! The latest jokes with very funny connotations

85. Why should I give you face if I don’t want to give you face?

86. Sister is state-owned property and will never be sold at a low price.

87. No matter how powerful Tang Seng is, he is just a monkey trick.

88. Some men are as smart as the weather, changeable. Some women are as stupid as weather forecasters, and they can’t even tell when the weather is changing

89. Mo Liufeng Gao Lingshi

90. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen it earth.

91. A good friend is when two people look at each other for no reason and burst into laughter.

92. If the midterm score slaps you, then the final exam slaps you back. Are you sure it wasn’t the final exam that stabbed you?

93. Women always like to ask men: If your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, who will you be? At this time, you just answer: Your dad and I are both drunk, who are you going to help?

94. Meeting strangers is actually very troublesome, and many lies have to be told again.

95. If the sky falls, you hold it up and I will cushion it!

96. Chatting with the phone screen on at the risk of being tortured by mosquitoes is true love

97. After being young and frivolous, shall we get married?

98. If you were the unfathomable sea, I would be a drowning person who doesn’t know whether to live or die

99. Men are lustful. If you are a little more lustful, you are called a pervert, and if you are stronger, you are called a pervert. Ghosts, if they become stronger, they are called perverts. If they are particularly strong, they become perverted perverts. They are so lustful that they are called body aesthetic artists.

100. As soon as I took off my cotton pants, Miss Chun came lightly.

101. The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

102. The public toilet was full, and my stomach ached. Finally, someone came out. Just as I was about to squat down, I heard an aunt scolding me from behind: Young people are ignorant and don’t give up their seats to the elderly. The young man said: Auntie, this is a public toilet, not a bus!

103. If I can still remember you in the next life, it must be that I did not die thoroughly enough in this life.

104. Tang Monk can live forever after eating his meat. I don’t know if Tang Monk’s shit has the same effect. The effect?

105. Are the circles on your belly growth rings?

106. The emperor is above and the thick soil is proof. The ordinary people are willing to trade twenty pounds of meat on their bodies in exchange for passing all the final exams.

107. What you think of as personality is actually blind.

108. I am a poor person, please do not rob tombs!

109. A man’s greatest ability is to indulge his girlfriend to the point that no other man can stand it.

110. What I like the most is that you can’t stand me and can’t kill me.

111. Why doesn’t the country use your face to study imitation singles?

112. A woman outside an umbrella is destined not to go out on rainy days

113. My wife married me even though I didn’t want to marry her.

114. Please don’t call me by my name during final exam week, please call me Guoer!

115. I think I will accompany you to the market every day in the future.

116. Women are divided into two types: those who are married and those who are not married, and men are divided into two types: those who marry voluntarily and those who are forced to marry.

117. As long as you can dance well with a hoe, is there any corner that cannot be dug down?

118. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

119. You have cried but your eyeshadow shines more beautifully

120. Before marriage, a man borrows money and wants the woman to eat well, and after marriage, a woman borrows money and wants the man to eat well. good.

121. You can lie to me, but since you have told it, please work hard to tell the lie. Don't let me expose it or I will kill you.

122. Sample, you won’t kill yourself when you see me!

123. Our boss came to the office and saw several female employees wearing makeup, so he reprimanded the manager: Why don’t you care about someone wearing makeup in the office? The manager didn't say a word. After the boss left, he said to the female employees: Don't listen to him, everyone should continue to change. Suddenly, the office burst into cheers. Then, the manager added: If you are so ugly, you are not allowed to put on makeup, and you are not allowed to live anymore.

124. No matter how good the If You Are the One female guest is, she can only put out one man's lamp, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the entire floor.

125. Pass on my menstrual fluid (experience) to you!

126. Menstruation and menstruation are good friends, and they come once a month.

127. If you love me, put me in a wedding dress and then strip it naked with your own hands.

128. Chairman Mao taught us: Your mother is holding you up //

129. Although people cannot be compared with horses, some people can be compared with pigs.

130. Forgetting is a luxury, and memory is a torture.

131. I want to fly to your bed, sorry for sleeping on the kang

132. You can not study hard, but you must not not review hard.

133. Why I haven’t died yet? It’s because I’m waiting to die! Why I kill people and set fires is because I want to die!

134. Life lies in stillness. How many years do you think this bastard has lived?

135. Women’s tears are the most useless liquid, but if you make a woman cry, it means you are useless.

136. Shamelessness is also a quality! Missing is a kind of neurosis!

137. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.

138. Let me tell you a ghost story. It’s time for school to start.

139. If you have to pay taxes when you look in the mirror, I’m afraid some women will go bankrupt.

140. When playing cards, I fell in love with the dice, when I drank, I fell in love with the cup, when I slept, I fell in love with the quilt, when I put on my shoes, I fell in love with the socks, when I was stinky, I became a prince, when I missed you, I remembered you. You boy, old friend, how are you doing? Wish you happiness and happiness!

141. People’s loneliness can sometimes be seen physically!

142. Birth control pills are valid for three years, and condoms are valid for five years. Many times, love has expired before the medicine and condoms have expired.

143. You can’t get enough of your skin!

144. I didn’t guess the beginning of our story, nor the end of it

145. Our goal: focus on money and make a lot of money

146. My dear, are you dead? If you die, hold me tight so that the body collector will know that we are a couple!

147. Others have a background, but all I have is a back view~~.