What's the funny joke? Please tell me. It is urgent.

When I was in college, I had a very close female classmate, who was a fellow countryman with me.

Once, I planned to go home. She wanted me to bring her something, so she sent me a message: "Burn me some clothes and money."

I was shocked when I saw it!

The math teacher Chen is giving us a lesson. As he painted, he said, "This is the X axis and this is the Y axis. I put a P here. "

3. When I was a freshman, at the school sports meeting, people in the class were not enthusiastic, and many projects were reported by people.

The painful sports Commissioner gave me a 400-meter.

Although I run well, I'm not interested in it. In the preliminary round, I made an excuse to say that I took a shit and ran away. Wait until the men's 400-meter heat is over, and then come back.

Pretending to have a sense of collective honor, the monitor ran over and said, hey, XX, why don't you run 400? No, I'll talk to the teacher and see if I can let you run again. I thought at that time, it doesn't matter, you say yes, I will run around.

Damn, it's really done. But what if the men's preliminaries are over? Teacher Cao asked me to run with the women's team preliminary contestants. Finally, I will judge the results according to the number of seconds of running.

My brother thought at that time, no matter how he ran, he could not lose to a woman, and then he ran like hell.

Then, there was a scene on the playground: when the starting gun rang, a figure rushed to the first place and fell behind the second place. The playground was full of exclamations: Wow, which girl runs so fast? Shit, it's a man! ?

When GC came home, my mother knew about it (small town). When they met, she said, hey, son, I heard that you are very fashionable today, and a group of girls are chasing you! Pick one to go home and be my wife.

I was chased by a group of girls.

Rabbit series

A white rabbit is running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to fight heroin.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit and threw the syringe behind him.

Rushed over and gave the white rabbit a good beating.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This son of a bitch pulls me every time he eats ecstasy."

Running around the forest like an idiot. "

5. Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. After that, the bear asked the rabbit, "Have you lost your hair?" The rabbit said, "Don't drop it ~"

So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass.

The giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The rabbit looked at him blankly.

"Also, in summer, rabbits, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? "

The rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

7. The white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

Xiao Ming cut his hair and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head is a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew away ...

9. One day there was a mother-in-law in a car …

Sitting halfway, my mother-in-law doesn't know the way. ...

My mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this?

Driver: This is my ass … ..

What is that man doing?

He's shaking.

Why is he shaking?

He's cold.

A: Oh, shivering doesn't lead to cold drawing.

A: ...

1 1, urine and urine are good brothers. One day, I was killed by a car when I was defecating across the road. I urinated and said, I really want to defecate …

12, a trap was crossing the road, but it was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he died, he looked at his body and said, "I was stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

13, junior high school Chinese teacher surnamed Jiang, called him behind his back, this is the backstage.

I bumped into him at a corner of the corridor, and when my brain was hot, a tingle called, "Ginger!" Agile found something wrong and immediately added: "Teacher!" Master Jiang ... old zombie ...

14, a polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his hair, one, two, three, and there was no last one left, and then he froze to death.

15, one night long ago, there were three shrimps in the pond, hahaha, a female ghost farted to death.

16, one day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout out what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try. The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " Jump forward, there is really a beautiful woman waiting for him. The second is a bookworm, shouting "book, book, book!" " Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third kind is an indecisive person, who can't decide what he likes after thinking about it. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

17, one day, a barber hit a sugar-coated gourd seller and went to the police station to ask the barber: Why did you hit the sugar-coated gourd? The barber said, * * *, I was perming my hair in the house, and he shouted "burn it" outside.

18, the dormitory is on the 6th floor. When I climbed up, I found that I didn't have my key. I went downstairs and asked my aunt for it. Then I climbed up to open the door, returned the key and climbed up again. I found the door closed. A classmate next door passed by and asked, "You see your door is open, I'll close it for you." …

19, two cows are eating grass together. The green cow asked the black cow, "Hello! What's the smell of your grass? " The black cow said, "Strawberry flavor!" The green cow leaned down and took a bite, and shouted angrily, "You lied to me!" " The black cow gave him a contemptuous look and replied, "Idiot, I said grass is tasteless."

20. A girl came to class and introduced herself: "She said I might not be the smartest, the most beautiful and the best-I might not be the most humorous". Just as all her classmates praised her modesty, she suddenly said, "Hello, my name is Wei.

2 1, studying for one night, I wanted to play a trick on the monitor at the same table, so I put a piece of paper behind him and drew a pig on it. He is a chubby girl sitting at the back table. After seeing her, she laughed fiercely, and the louder she laughed, the monitor asked her why she laughed. The fat girl smiled and pointed to the monitor and said, "There is a pig behind you ...",

22. The whole class is sleeping in class. Teacher Xiao Hai wants to tease us: "There are monsters. It ate all of you, but not me. Do you know why? " A faint voice came from the back corner: "Because this monster is a Muslim."

23, the school issued a family contact form, the son looked at the form and asked the nouveau riche father: "Dad, how to fill in the' nationality' item?" Dad thought about it and said, "Fill in the nobility."