Funny copywriting kills people

1. A farmer went to the zoo and saw a zebra for the first time. After returning to the village, he told everyone that all the donkeys in Beijing wear navy vests.

2. Dear customer: Because you send and receive yellow messages at will, your mobile phone is receiving this message.

In ten seconds, the self-destruction program will start. To avoid hurting innocent people, please throw your mobile phone out by force.

Ten meters away!

A famous cardiac surgeon's motorcycle is broken. After being sent to the repair department for inspection, the engine broke down. The mechanic skillfully removed the engine, repaired it and put it back, and said to the doctor, "The engine is the heart of the motorcycle. We are all cultivating our minds, but why is the income gap so big? " The doctor thought for a moment and said to the repairman, "Try to fix it without turning off the fire."

4. Which is dumb, the star, the moon or the sun? Stars, because "the stars in the sky can't talk".

5. Go on a blind date today and ask the girl, "How old are you?" She replied quite proudly

34D ."

6. A friend is eating in a restaurant. After serving, he called the waiter: Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise, I don't believe my buddy said simply, then why don't you bring a bottle opener?

7. I don't understand why people cry like pears with rain, but I cry like Zhao.

Four.

I don't know what's wrong with my pen. As soon as a female classmate wears a short skirt, she keeps falling to the ground.

9. There was a couple quarrel with a colleague today, and he actually wanted to start a fight. If other colleagues hadn't pulled me, I would have scared away. 10. We found other people's heads when reviewing, including printers, tape recorders and digital cameras. Just my head. It's a soymilk machine. 1 1. A boy said to a girl, "I saw a girl who looks like you yesterday. When she came out of the mental hospital, I thought this girl must be abnormal and suffering from schizophrenia! " The girl said unhurriedly, "Really, what a coincidence! I saw a boy who looks like you yesterday, running around the street with a bone in his mouth! " "

12. Once I suddenly thought of going swimming, I bought a pair of cheap swimming trunks in the supermarket, because there were no other colors, only red. As a result, I didn't expect the swimming trunks to fade. When I was soaking in the pool, a wisp of red came out of my lower body and rippled in the water ... An uncle swam past me, looked at the red "blood" under me and looked at my bare upper body. For an instant, his expression was very contradictory. ...

13. The man called his friend upstairs, but no one answered for a long time. The man put his head out of the window and shouted to the upstairs, "Hello, is there anyone upstairs?" The friend stuck his head out of the window and asked, "What is it?" The man was furious: "Shit, answer the phone!" ! "

14. Go to the ATM to deposit money at noon. When I was waiting in line, the beautiful woman in the back asked me, "Do you save money?" "Well," "I just want to withdraw money. Anyway, if you want to save it, you might as well give it to me, so the two of us don't have to wait in line. " As soon as I thought it made sense, I gave it to her ...

15. Mom bought a box of milk and said it was valuable. It was advertised on TV. I looked at the color of the box. Oh, huh? Not quite right. Take a closer look: wait for Suellen! ?

16. A TV station's "Running into Science" column interviewed the elderly in Changshou Village to explore the secrets of health preservation. An old man replied cheerfully, "The secret is smoking." The reporter wondered, and the old man happily explained: "How can fresh meat be preserved for a long time?"

17. Cinema advertisement: Beauty fainted.

Seven people were dragged into the forest … interesting. Buy tickets! At the screening, your uncle: Snow White! The next day's advertisement: a woman

The story of seven men, not Snow White! Charming, not Snow White, buy a ticket! At the screening, grandma's:

Eight immortals crossing the sea! The next day the advertisement changed again: the husband was killed and the beautiful wife fell in.

The clutches of seven boys … have temptation, believe it again and buy tickets! At the screening, my mother: gourd baby!

18. I went shopping with my friends and suddenly saw an old man lying on the ground. I

Without saying anything, go up and help him. My friend took my hand and said, "Your family is not rich!" I broke free from his hand, but I didn't expect to be pulled by him again: "My wife and children are still waiting for you to eat!" " "I kicked him and said," That's my dad! " "

19. She punched me yesterday. It is still hot! After the dance, the daughter asked, Dad, can you wait for Tom? Dad deliberately asked his daughter: Why wait for Tom? She replied: He kept stepping on me while dancing, so I waited for him to come out and beat him!

20. When I was in college, I was on my way back to my dormitory with two classmates. The short man said to the tall man: being tall is good. You can see a woman's breasts when you look down. The tall man replied: Don't lose heart, you can see girls' underwear when you look up.