Cosmetic SMS

1. The headmaster and English teacher visited a middle school in France. The headmaster spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher translated.

Principal: "Teachers and students!"

English teacher: "Ladies and gentlemen!"

Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen!"

English teacher-_-! Thought for a moment and said, "Good morning!"

Principal: "Good morning!"

English teacher: ... = = "Sweat.

It is said that there is a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things, but he can't find them, so he crawls around on the ground with his eyes closed and his hands and feet are dirty before he finds them. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his hair, one, two, three, and there was no last one left, and then he froze to death.

4. Once upon a time, a bird passed through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside crying and flying away.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. Spider asks: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother says that people who wander around the Internet all day are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down. Then peeled bananas become dried bananas ~

One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted, "Woman! Woman! " The next jump is really full of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second is a bookworm, shouting "Book Book Book Book Book Book!" Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third kind is an indecisive person, who can't decide his favorite after thinking about it. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

9. What about Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, then you must have a good exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

10. The panda loves the deer deeply, but it was rejected when expressing its love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, My mother says that all people who wear sunglasses are bad teenagers.

1 1. One day, Xiao Ming was walking on the road. I suddenly feel sore when I walk! Why is this happening? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? Thong (cool)

The towel said to the coin, son. If you wear a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times.

The "ruler" said to "do": Sister, the results have come out. You are pregnant with twins.

The "minister" said to the "giant": the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student that there were ten birds in the tree and one was shot dead. How much is left?

The student asked: Is it silent pistol? No, how loud was the shot? 80- 100 decibel. Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city? No offense. Are you sure that bird was really killed? Of course. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "Just tell me how many birds are left, will you?" Are there some deaf birds in the tree? No. Have you ever been caged and hung from a tree? No. Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? No. If a bird is pregnant, is it a bird in its belly? Not exactly. Is there a flower in the bird photographer's eye? There are no flowers, only ten. The teacher was sweating all over, and the bell rang, but the students continued to ask: Are there any stupid birds that are afraid of death? Fear of death. Would you kill two with one shot? No. The student said confidently, if your answer is not deceptive: "If the killed bird hangs on the tree and doesn't fall, then there is only one left." If it falls, no one will stay. " . The teacher suddenly foamed at the mouth and fell to the ground!

14. One day, someone passed a crossroads and found something super scary. He found Kakashi and the Monkey King laughing!

15. Once upon a time, one night, there were three shrimps in the pond. Ha, ha, ha. A female ghost farted to death.

16. A female alien engaged in biological research came to the earth. After a tour, she felt that there was much to learn from human genes, so she arrested a person and wanted to bring him back with written information about human genes. But the ship is too small to take him away, and the information is too big to take him away at once. When she was anxious, the ship's computer help system said, "This man has a stick, which can solve all your problems …" Then she suddenly realized and smiled and said to the drooling man. . . . . Give me the flash drive! " .

17. A pit was crossing the road, but he was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body and said, "I was stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

18. Brother, stop touching it! You touched the top and the bottom, and your hair fell out. With such tender skin, you have touched all the water! How do you want me to sell it later? These peaches are all fresh, so don't buy them!

19. Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf. The wolf said: I want to eat you! ! ! The lamb is frightened! Guess what happened? As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

20. Once upon a time, there was a swordsman. He was cold, his heart was cold, his sword was cold, and he finally died of cold.

2 1. Once upon a time, there was a tiger chasing a deer on the road. The deer was frightened and ran faster and faster, and finally it became a highway.

22. One tomato was smashed by a stone, another tomato was smashed, another tomato was smashed, countless tomatoes were smashed, and the last tomato fell! Tomato sauce!

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: depend, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

24. One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by wolves. Wolves easily destroyed straw houses, wooden houses and brick houses. Three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them. The three little pigs said in despair, it's up to you. We gave up, whatever you wanted. At this moment, the wolf grinned and drooled and said, "Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is."

25. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up at the misty mountain peak and couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

26. When you are near the railway, please don't worry if you don't bring paper. The train will remind you: wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

27. Two counterfeiters accidentally manufactured counterfeit banknotes with face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

28. Someone's newly installed phone happened to be rented out by the cinema, so people often call to ask about the movies being shown. At first, he always explained politely that this phone is no longer his, so please don't call again. After a long time, he also felt annoyed and simply said, "You have the wrong number!" " This will also save some saliva. One day, a familiar voice came from the other side: "What movie is showing now?" As usual, he said, "You have the wrong number!" After a short silence, the other party replied, "Is it a domestic film or a foreign film?

29. A man climbed over the wall and went out of school, and was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked: Why don't you go from the school gate? Answer: Meters, Bang Wei and Bang Wei don't take the usual road. The headmaster asked again: How did such a high wall get over? He pointed to his trousers and said, Li Ning, anything is possible.

The headmaster asked again: What's it like to climb over the wall? Pointing to his shoes, he said, Xtep, it feels like flying. The next day he entered the school from the main entrance. The headmaster asked, Why don't you climb over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day, he wore a costume. The headmaster said, You can't wear a costume! He said, you are what you wear, Mason. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to school. The headmaster said he couldn't wear a vest to school. He said, men, simplicity is good. They like the clothes in the fortress. The headmaster said that I would give you a higher score. He said: Why? The headmaster said, M-Zone, my site is my decision.

Life is really boring. Last month, a friend of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said he was going to have plastic surgery. Therefore, he doesn't know what he has become. Oh, 4,000 yuan.

3 1. Notice to robbers: Our staff can only speak Spanish, so please be patient when robbing, and you'd better bring an interpreter. Thank you!

32.are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to hit me on the head with a stone!

33. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

34. Tourist: Master, is that straw house over there a toilet? Monk: Except the thatched cottage, all the places are toilets.

35. The hair is gone, and dandruff is more prominent!

36. defecation and urination are good brothers. One day, I was killed by a car when I was defecating and crossing the road. When he urinated, he said, I really want to shit …

I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes during training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

38. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I didn't have a chance to interrupt her.

39. thief a: count how much money was robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and pee farther.

4 1. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find out.

43. One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, suddenly there was a "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever you do, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then now you start chasing me. "

44. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! The whole audience was silent and creepy! ! ! Cold ~ ~ ~

45. Tigers don't send cats. You think I'm dying!

46. There was a man in our dormitory who wanted to pee after drinking too much, and then he came up with a cold sentence: if he drank too much, there would be a lot of wine.

47. When my sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes, my sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

48. In the past, others visited menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " "

49. In college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid! I spit shit in your face.

50. When I was a child, popsicles and ice cream were usually sold on bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shout in the room: The new ice cream is hot. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )

5 1. My colleague argued with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

52. Once KTV ordered a song, a MM shouted: Give me a great Shuang Jie every week.

One day, in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit came from a distance and saw all this. He came up and said, Fox, how can you smoke marijuana? This is harmful to your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox thinks this is right, so he runs and runs with the rabbit. They saw the elephant smoking. The rabbit ran to the elephant and said, "elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs?" "Look at how fresh the air is. Run with me. Elephants think it's right, just the two of them running together. Running and running, I saw the lion roll up his sleeves and was about to inject * * *. Little rabbit shouted at the lion from a distance: lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look how fresh the air is. Let's run with me ... I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over to beat the rabbit. The elephant trembled and said to the lion, Why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health! The lion said: since the rabbit ate ecstasy, he has asked me to run with him every day!

54. In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit. She proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit: ah, little rabbit, do you know how good it is to have a long neck? Do you know how sweet the top leaves are? Do you know the feeling of drinking water in summer? The refreshing water flowed slowly through her neck. The rabbit looked at her and only said, "Have you ever tried vomiting?"

55. Once my brother hit me, I got a pimple on my head. Later, my brother wanted to pack things, but he couldn't find his bag, so he took the bag on my head to pack things.

56. Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play with a ball for a long time. He said, I'm so tired. I think I'm getting soft.

57. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. A snowman said, I am cold, and another snowman said, I am cold, too. The other said, let's hug, so they hugged. Guess what happened? Then they froze to death.

When I was a child, I ate unsanitary food. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "60 years of hard work." I have no food to eat, and I never throw my nose out. "

59. A rich man wants a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich sent them away. Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he came out without washing his hands. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

60. A man saw a store having a big sale and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog. ""where is such a rule? " "This is the case with goods on sale. "This man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. There was no choice but to go home and bring the dog, and then he bought dog food. A few days later, the man went to the shop to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." The same shop assistant, the man dawdled with her for a long time, and finally had to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman: "What can I do for you?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

6 1. A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded: "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because I lost all my teeth, I could only suck out the chocolate in them. Old, coughing. . .

Some people like the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. This gentleman has eaten almost all his dishes, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. A burst of nausea hit, and the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "it's disgusting, isn't it?" I am like this ... "

On this day, the hotel owner was patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came to ask for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too?" The beggar said, "someone threw up, but I was late." The first two beggars ate everything they could, and now there is only soup left. " Can you give me a straw?

64. The boss and the second child fly, and the second child gets airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag was full, so the boss had to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I saw that this bag was full, so I had to drink half a bag, and they all vomited."

65. A priest was playing golf while a nun was watching. The first shot missed. The priest scolded: "TMD, missed!" " It hit again, and the priest scolded again: "TMD, it missed again!" "The nun said," God will punish you for swearing as a priest. "The words sound just fell and she heard a loud thunder killed a nun. The priest wants to know: why am I the one who cursed? Why should I hack a nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" " "

66. The head coaches of China, Japan and South Korea came to heaven together and asked God when their respective football teams would win the World Cup. God said: Korea needs 50 years. The Korean coach burst into tears: I won't see it again. God also said: Japan needs 100 years. The Japanese coach burst into tears: I won't see it again. China Coach quickly asked, What about us? God was in tears: I won't see it again.

67. Three white rabbits picked a mushroom.

Let the two big ones get some wild vegetables together.

The younger one said I wouldn't go. If I leave, you will eat my mushrooms.

The two older ones said no and went ~ ~ ~

Half a year has passed, and the white rabbit hasn't come back yet. A big one said it wouldn't come back. Let's eat. Another big one said to wait ~ ~ ~ A year has passed and the little white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The two big ones don't have to wait for us to eat. Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, Look! I know you want to eat my mushrooms.

68. We say that a bear without a tail is called a koala, so what is a bear without a penis called? The answer is the female bear, because the female bear has no penis.

69. In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

70. Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, well, let me ask you some questions.

The squid said happily, take the exam!

Then this man roasted the squid.

7 1. Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident.

Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.

Xiaoming lost his other leg in another car accident.

Xiaoming lost another leg in a car accident.

It screams in pain ~ ~ ~ Poor thing.

In fact, Xiaoming is a dog.

72. One day, a lump of black shit saw a lump of white shit.

Black stool asked: Why are you so white and beautiful?

White shit is very angry!

He said: I am not shit! I am ice cream! ! !

73. On a hot day, playing mahjong suddenly lost power, so I had to buy candles to continue playing. After half an hour, the heat was unbearable. One man said, "Let's turn on the electric fan. It's too hot." Another man said, "you can't open it, it will blow out the candles." Halo = =“

74. In college, one of my classmates just bought a mobile phone, got a mobile card and dialed 1860 to ask about it. At this time, he was excited: "Excuse me, your mobile phone service …" From the hands-free phone, we actually heard the telephone operator politely say: "Our mobile phone service …" The whole dormitory burst into laughter!

75. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we will wash it together, and then we can eat it together."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time comes, all the children are assembled.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what have you got?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

76. A mental patient screamed: I am the president, and you all have to listen to me!

The attending doctor asked him: Who said that?

Patient: God said.

A patient next to him jumped up at once: I never said that!

77. There is a family, and the whole family is very lazy. My father asked my mother to do housework, my mother asked my sister to do it if she didn't want to, her sister asked her to do it if she didn't want to, and her sister asked her dog to do it if she didn't want to. One day, a guest came home and was surprised to find that the dog was doing housework. Ask the dog: Puppy, can you do housework? ! The dog said, I can't help it If they don't do it, they ask me to do it. The guests are even more surprised. You can talk! ! ! Puppy: Shh! Keep your voice down, or they will know that I can talk and let me answer the phone ...! !

78. Lele went to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys ... throwing peanuts at the monkeys ... but one monkey always put peanuts in his ass first ... and then took them out ... Lele felt uncomfortable and ran to ask the director ... why did the monkey behave so strangely? The director explained: because someone threw him a big peach last year ... the seeds of that big peach could not be discharged from his ass smoothly. ...

79. Devil: "Princess, if you shout your throat out, no one will come to save you!" " "

Princess: "Broken throat!" " "

No one: "Princess! I'm coming to save you! "

Demon: "Damn it."

Ghost: "Who found me?"

Who: "What's it to me?"

The devil is dead! !

80. Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat. One day, the white cat fell into the water and the black cat saved it. The white cat said a word to the black cat.

I'm sorry ... what is this sentence? A: Meow. ......

8 1. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today!"! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

82. Fire Brigade: Where is the fire?

Alarm person: My home.

Fire brigade: I mean, where is it?

Policeman: In the kitchen.

Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there?

Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

83. The coffee cup and the water cup crossed the road together. At this moment, an old man shouted, "Be careful, it's a red light." But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and flowed into the paper money. Why? Because coffee cups have "ears" and water cups don't.

84. Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast, and the second tomato asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?

85. Xiaoming plays with his classmates and guesses "Andy Lau".

Xiao Ming shouted, "It's one of the four heavenly kings!"

This classmate said confidently without hesitation: I know it is "the Monkey King!"

86. The little penguin asked his grandmother one day, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

87. Three college students were kidnapped. The bad guy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you! College student A: I'm from Jiaotong University. B: I'm from Peking University. College student C: I'm from TV University (Electric Power University)! I was electrocuted ... cold ~ ~ ~

88. Once upon a time, a horse walked into a bar, sat down at the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of wine. The bartender said, your face is so long. ...

89. The prisoner was executed by firing squad. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, Brother, strangle me! It's so fucking scary .....

90. Three men competed in marksmanship, and one of them was a black man with something as a target.

The first man put an apple on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 10 meter, he raised his hand and shot and broke the apple. He blew his gun and said, I'm Zorro!

The second man put a cherry on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 50 meters, he raised his hand and shot and broke the cherry. He blew the muzzle and said, I am m007.

The third man put a sesame seed on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 100 meters, he raised his hand and shot at the black man's head. He also blew the gun and said, I'm sorry.

9 1. Xiao Wang works in the personnel department on the 10 floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the ninth floor ... Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?"

The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel department."

Xiao Wang: "Ah! ? When did this happen? I don't know. I haven't had time to send it to him yet? "

"Never mind, you can find him below."

92. My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and went home as a beautiful woman in a few days! When he came in, he said to his puzzled husband, "What's the matter? Don't know me? " The husband paused, then said in surprise, "Come in quickly, my wife is not at home."

93. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms and hugging her. He took a step forward. The man fell to the ground and cried, this is the third piece. Who did I piss off? Is it so difficult to take a piece of glass home?

94. I chatted with a group of female colleagues this afternoon. Suddenly someone said I was not a man, and I was very angry. I said, you said I wasn't, so I showed it to you. The girls all laughed. One of them is the best. Say, if you take it out, I'll take out my ID card.

95. A little boy went to the country to spend his holiday with his relatives. His relatives live on a farm, and the children have a good time and see many things they have never seen in the park. After returning home, he told his mother everything. He said that what impressed him was a sow with a piglet.

What do sows do? The child said, "The piglets ran after the sow, and then they turned the sow over and began to tear the buttons on the sow's stomach."

96. Mom: "Son, son! Come on! This is too easy! " What is this? "

Son: "'this is too simple'."

Mom: "Why not simply say it?"

Son: "Ah, it's so simple!" "

Mom: "You didn't think I would hit you, did you?"

When he finished speaking, he taught his son a lesson.

Then, my mother asked again:

"What do you mean by the word' what'?"

Son: "What?"

Mom: "What do I mean by' what'?"

Son: "What!"

After that, the mother gave her son another lesson. ...

After the punishment, mother asked again:

"Well, I'll ask you again. It's okay to tell mom."

Son: "hmm U_U~."

Mom: "what do you often hear people say' fuck'?"

Son: "(whoops). . 。”

97. Lang Ke said, "It's good that people call me a ronin!"

The samurai said, "It's nice that people call me a samurai!"

The expert said, "People call me an expert, which is also very nice!" " "

The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first."

98. The students in teachers' college said: I am from teachers' college.

The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute"

The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.

The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first!

99. Bai Yu said: My name is White.

Jade Jade said, My name is Jasper.

Redjade said, My name is Redjade.

Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first.

100. Jane Zhang said: "My fans who worship me all say that my idol is English."

He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jie."

Said: "fans who worship me say: my idol is constant."

Chris Lee said: "You talk, I walked first.

10 1. On my friend's birthday, I took my youngest son to karaoke after dinner, and my youngest son volunteered to sing for the protagonist. The applause thundered at the scene. ~ I sang a birthday song for my uncle. The scene was in uproar. I looked back at the "prayer" on the screen.