A little joke for girls

In daily life or work and study, everyone must have heard jokes more or less. The following is the related content about the little jokes told to girls. I collected them for your reference only, hoping to help you.

Girls' jokes 1 1. When I was a child, I saw someone holding a rabbit's ear. I asked my mother, doesn't this rabbit hurt? My mother told me that rabbits' ears are so long that people can carry them. This sentence has been printed in my ignorant mind until one day, I saw a donkey! That day ... I almost got kicked to death!

2. I heard a wonderful mother-child conversation in the subway: "Mom, why are you so beautiful and I am so ugly?"

"Because the air pollution is serious."

"You're lying. I haven't heard that air pollution will affect appearance! "

"Yes, because the smog is too heavy, I can't see your dad!"

When I first entered primary school, I got up the courage to tell the girls in my favorite class. As a result, I tragically became the laughing stock of the masses for six years. She said to everyone, "that guy XX actually treated me ... poof, hahaha ~", and then junior high school was laughed at for three years, and senior high school didn't leave me alone. Up to now, she still takes it out for dinner at home. I put down my chopsticks helplessly: "Dad, can you tell your stepmother to stop!" " "

4. Wife: "Husband, I am pregnant in the future. Will you lie to me? "

Husband: "no, dear!" " "

Wife: "So you mean you will cheat in public?

Husband: ...

Little joke for girls: 2 1. When mom and dad quarrel, no one gives in to anyone.

After quarreling for a long time, my mother was speechless for a while, only to hear my five-year-old son look back at her innocently and say, Mom, it's your turn!

2. The younger brother teased his daughter: "Are you handsome?"

The girl looked up and gave him a silent look. She bit her lip and whispered, "Yes."

I can't help joking, "Well, what do you mean? Let's be clear, is your uncle handsome or not? "

Daughter: "Try to keep silent when you need to lie, and try not to hurt each other when you have to lie."

After supper, I sat on the sofa to have a rest. My daughter came up to me and said, "You don't move after dinner?"

I smiled and asked her, "What's the activity?"

She is serious: "You can hug the baby!"

I ......

Girls' joke 3 1, quarreling with women, just like the license agreement before using the software, you can or can only ignore all the content and finally choose "I agree". Isn't it?

I went home, ate at my uncle's house, and got used to listening to Mandarin outside. Suddenly I heard my uncle's hometown words, and I didn't respond. I said, are you from Guangdong, too My uncle paused and asked my mother: Is this child's illness not cured?

My wife caught a cold, so she had to go to bed when eating and drinking, and even went to the toilet, but she jumped up when she heard that online clothes were on sale. She was full of energy and chose it on her mobile phone for half an hour. After paying the money, she went back to bed and instantly fell ill. . .

4, the end of the year, as long as it is my friend, whoever has no money, let me know and let me know that I am not alone!

Little joke for girls 4 1. A classmate was admitted to graduate school, and one day he heard a couple quarreling. Woman: "You lied to me!" Man: "I didn't lie to you!" " "Woman:" You are lying to me. You don't even want to be with me. Don't think I don't know. You are only with me to steal my experimental data! "

6 months ago, in order to stimulate my weight, I filled out an Excel form and generated a trend chart. Today, my colleague passed by my seat, only to see him pass by and fall back thoughtfully. He whispered in my ear, "hmm … can you tell me which stock you are?" ? The trend is quite good ... "

I am an orthopedic surgeon, and I often have operations. One day, I had an operation to fracture my tibia and fibula. The patient is a middle-aged man in his forties. I have no idea what happened that day. Several electric drills were changed during the operation, and they were all broken, so they could not work well. At this time, the patient who had been lying there quietly suddenly spoke weakly: "Let me see, I repair the electric drill ..."

4. I was idle and bored today, sorting out the short messages on my mobile phone, and found countless winning situations: winning more than 8,000 yuan, 2 Mercedes-Benz cars, 3 Lamborghini cars, 1 Porsche 1, 1 iPhone4, 5 and 6. There are several sons, a lost daughter, 10 from the general manager, six relatives, two companies and five court summons. * * * owed more than 20,000 phone bills, and the credit card was maxed out four times.

Girls' jokes 5 1. One day, an elephant in the zoo suddenly died, and the keeper immediately threw himself on the elephant and cried. Seeing this scene, the tourists were deeply moved and said, "The affection between this keeper and this elephant is too deep." Unexpectedly, someone interjected: "There is a rule in this zoo that if an animal raised by someone dies, then the grave of this animal must be dug by the keeper." How can he not cry? "

2. In high school, my deskmate loved to fart.

Once, a stench floated by. I asked him, "Did you poison again?"

The mm at the front table turned back and said, "His taste is not like this."

3. The deskmate fell asleep doing the paper, and put an earth-shattering fart in his sleep, which was extremely unpleasant.

Everyone stopped looking at him at once, but he didn't mean to wake up.

Looking at the teacher's livid face on the platform, we all tried to hold back our laughter.

But at this time, the deskmate actually talked about talking in his sleep, only to hear him say, "It's delicious!" " "

One day, the child kept crying, and the father said impatiently, "Will you be quiet for a while?"

The child said, "Didn't you read the instructions the day I was born?"

Girls' joke 6 1, the 6-year-old son said to his mother, "Mom, give me the flashlight."

"What are you doing sleeping and playing with a flashlight?"

"I don't play. I dreamed that it was dark and invisible. "

2. My son suddenly asked me, "What is a telegram?" I told him, "Just write what you want to say on paper, usually a dozen words, and then go to the post office and let the staff pass it on to each other by radio."

The son suddenly realized, "Let the post office send a short message."

During the summer vacation, the 5-year-old baby wanted to write a letter to Beibei, a kindergarten child, so he asked his father for a pen and paper.

"Baby, how can you write to others if you can't read?" Dad asked strangely.

"What are you afraid of? Beibei can't read anyway! " The baby is confident, he said.

My son didn't do well in the exam, so I gave him a beating. Turning around, he asked, "Mom, I still can't solve this problem."

I said grumpily, "How many times have I told you that you can't? Did the donkey kick your head? "

The son choked and said, "You hit me like this."

Girls' joke 7 1, one night there was a sudden rainstorm, lightning and thunder. My three-and-a-half-year-old son woke up from a dream. I thought he would be afraid and didn't want him to get up. I calmly looked at the heavy rain outside the window, accompanied by the rumble of thunder, and suddenly put on a cool posture under the illumination of lightning, and shouted passionately: "The armored warriors change their clothes!"

The three-year-old girl pestered her father to tell a story. Her father said, "Tell a story about Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf today." The little girl was very happy and said coquetry, "Dad, you are the wolf, and I am Hongtaro." When my father said "Well", he got a big slap in the face. My daughter shouted angrily at him, "Don't catch sheep for me quickly!" ?

There is a one-year-old daughter at home who is in the process of weaning. My daughter clamored for milk this morning, but my wife didn't agree. My daughter cried ... and finally went to the bedroom crying. When she came back, she had a dollar in her hand and said piteously, "Mom, I only eat a dollar ..."

Girls' jokes 8 1. My son went to the post office to post a letter. The person at the post office said, "The letter is overweight. Please put another stamp on it."

The son said, "Isn't it heavier to put stamps on it?"

2. Dad took his 4-year-old daughter to the Children's Theatre to watch the performance, and asked about the price of seats at the ticket window. The conductor said, "First-class ticket 100 yuan, second-class ticket 80 yuan, station ticket 50 yuan, program 5 yuan."

After listening, the daughter whispered to her father, "Let's take the show!" " "

3. Father and son are sitting in front of the TV watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

The advertisement was interrupted in the middle, and dad stretched himself and said, "The enemy will block you, and the water will cover you."

The son suddenly asked, "What if mom comes?"

Dad quickly said, "You do your homework and I'll go to the kitchen."

There is no more naughty child than my nephew! During the Spring Festival, he hid a small firecracker in one of my cigarettes. As a result, I handed the cigarette to my relatives who came to pay a New Year call and lit it for him. ...

Girls' jokes 9 1. In the composition class, the teacher asked each student to describe his own characteristics in the simplest sentences. A classmate with acne all over his face wrote: "One wave is not flat, and another wave rises."

2. One day, Xiaoming told Xiaohua a story. Xiaoming: The story is divided into four paragraphs. The first paragraph is ... my husband told his wife that I would give your wife 10,000 yuan a month later, but after one month, my husband only took 8,000 yuan, and my wife said there were 2,000 yuan left. The husband slapped his wife and said, I'm making money. What are you arguing about? Xiao Ming told the second paragraph. One day, the husband wanted to eat steamed fish, and his wife cooked braised fish. The husband said, why is there no steamed fish? The wife slapped her husband and said, I'm cooking. What are you arguing about? Xiao Ming: Next is the fourth paragraph. Xiaohua: What about the third paragraph? Xiaoming slapped Xiaohua and said, I'm telling a story. What are you arguing about? Vote for me.

3. In the future tense grammar class of Love, the teacher is teaching the tense of verbs. He asked Irene, "Tell me, what is the future tense of love?" Irene answered without hesitation: "Marriage!"

4. Class A: Why do ducks often stand on one leg? Class B: Because it knows that if it takes back its other foot, it will fall.

The first-grade pupils are listless in class, and the teacher reminds everyone: "Please cheer up!" So students began to appear in their schoolbags. Finally, a student raised his hand and asked, "Teacher, which is spirit?"

6. I have a dream that there are only five fill-in-the-blank questions in a test paper. School _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

7. The teacher asked, "Shall we call the roll to answer the questions?" The students all said, "Not good". So the teacher asked the girl: "Do you want to ask the boy?" "good". Ask the boy again: "How about asking the girl?" "Good" and "Everyone agrees ~" In the senior math class, the teacher scribbled on the blackboard, and the bottom was a mess. The teacher couldn't bear it: students, keep your voice down! A buddy said: Teacher, you will get used to it! The teacher fainted! All high schools must wear school uniforms. There is a repeat student who never wears it. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door every day to check. One day. The teacher saw that the classmate was not wearing a school uniform. Ask him why he doesn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why are you wearing mourning clothes? The teacher was sweating like a pig. One of my brothers was in an advanced mathematics class, and the teacher asked, "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? My brother: No cavities! In Chinese class, the teacher said: In fact, weasels don't eat chickens, which is obtained by scientists through experiments. ......

8. The first class in the afternoon is history class, and the teacher speaks enthusiastically in class. A classmate nicknamed "San Mao" fell asleep at his desk. The teacher was very angry and called Sanmao up. The teacher asked, "What do you think Wang Anshi and Ouyang Xiu have in common?" Sanmao blurted out, "They are all from the Song Dynasty." The teacher then asked, "Tell me, what do they have in common with Emperor Taizong and Zhuge Liang?" San Mao paused and replied, "They are all ancient people." There was a burst of laughter in class, and the teacher made mistakes and just played them as games, which also enlivened the classroom atmosphere. So he asked, "Do they have anything in common with Sun Yat-sen and Lu Xun?" San Mao thought for a moment and said, "All men." The teacher then asked ... "

9. Teacher: "What is the biggest thing in the world?" Student: "Eyelids." Teacher: "Why?" Student: "As long as you close your eyes, the whole world will be covered."

Tommy: "Teacher, Rabin just scolded me and showed me the devil." Teacher: "So, what did you do?" Tommy: "I'm coming, teacher." Teacher: "..."

1 1, Xiaoming walked up to the PE teacher and said, "Miss Wang, I will never play football again from today." Teacher Wang feels very strange: "Playing football is a beneficial sports activity. Why don't you attend? " Xiao Ming said: "It is irresponsible to listen to the radio today and say' Playing football'. "

12. The teacher of the First Academy strongly praised his son Bandu, who is smart and educated and can be regarded as the son of a master. The host said, "Very good!" When the teacher came home, he said to his son, "I'll take you to school tomorrow." I praise your cleverness in front of your master only because you are stupid by nature and don't understand a word. " So he wrote the words "quilt, rice, dad" for his son to memorize in order to cope with the answer. After coming to school, the master asked a few words in a row, but the son didn't know a word. The teacher said, "Children are afraid of strangers. If you write a few more words, he will know. " So he wrote the word "North" for him to identify, and his son was at a loss. The teacher said, "What's the cover on your bed?" The son replied: ......

13, clever "Teacher, why is your hair bald?" "This is called being extremely clever." "Then I'll shave my hair, too." "That's smart." In the shop, Xiao Gang stepped on the foot of an international student. The foreigner held his breath for a long time before saying in Chinese, "Your feet are above mine, so push." Coach You Ke comforted the defeated boxer and said, "Never mind, didn't you scare him enough in the third inning?" "He's afraid of me, too?" "Yes, he thought he killed you." In addition to the belt, the mother also took her four-year-old child to the supermarket to shop, and then took off her child's belt after entering the store. The salesman asked strangely why. Mother replied, "He is busy lifting his pants with both hands, so he can't grab things everywhere." ......

At the beginning of the new semester, our senior students went to the station to meet their new classmates. I saw a little girl standing beside a big box at a loss, so I took the initiative to help her lift it. I didn't expect the box to weigh more than 1000 kilograms, so I was embarrassed to put it down and had to struggle to support it. After only a few steps, the girl said to me: If you can't move your back, go away. As soon as I heard this, I cried out my heartfelt anger, put down the box and glared at her. The girl froze for a few seconds, then pointed to the bottom of the box and said, I mean the wheel. _ _ _ Interpretation A university professor told his students: "In ancient times,' Lu' meant kissing, which was very vivid; One of the students asked, "If' Lu' means kissing, so does' Pin'. ......

15, "In the composition class, the teacher asked the primary school students to write a composition entitled" My Dog ",which should be no less than 150 words. Little Tommy thought for a moment and began to write, "I have a dog. I call it Bobby. I like this dog, it is black all over, only the head and neck are white ... "Tommy stopped writing and counted, but the number of words is still far from enough. He scratched his head, thought for a few minutes, and then continued to write, "I take Bobby for a walk in the park every day, so I won't take him out when it rains." He looked, but the number of words was still far from enough. He sighed and wrote, "I often give Bobby a bath. It likes to take a bath, and I like to give it a bath. " He stopped his pen and counted, but there were still not enough words. He was so anxious that he scratched his scalp, looking at the ceiling and the blackboard for a while. After thinking about it, he continued to write: "Bobby likes candy. I often feed him sugar, but sometimes I don't give him sugar at home ... "... 1. Everyone knows that wearing headphones will make a lot of noise, but they just don't know it. Once in an English class, the teacher asked everyone to study by themselves after class. One of my classmates wears headphones to listen to music (of course this is not allowed). In order not to let the teacher see it, he asked the students next to him to watch and said loudly, "The teacher is coming to call me! " ! As a result, the teacher heard the voice and asked him, what is it? 2. When I was a monitor in junior high school, I was once in geography class, and the teacher dragged me out of the classroom. I am so absorbed in reading a novel that I don't care if I am in class. A classmate next to him complained to himself, "Class is over. I thought it was over, so I shouted" Stand up "and became quiet. I feel all eyes are on me. The teacher smiled and said, You are going to rebel. Suddenly everyone laughed and my face turned red. ......"

16, the professor said: "You have understood the concept of' lies', and I have written about this problem in my book On Lies. Please raise your hand if you have read this book. " All the students raised their hands in unison. "Very good!" The professor went on to say, "This time there is a new lecture example. The book I wrote has not been published yet! "

17, in a physiology class, the teacher angrily reprimanded the students who were undisciplined in the class: "If I catch you being undisciplined next time, I will be both male and female ..." A student stood up and said, "Teacher, how can you be our physical health teacher regardless of gender?"

18, the physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, as long as you touch the cat's hair backwards, you can see the electric spark. " "God," cried a little girl, "how many cats must be kept in that power station!"

19, my mother said that my IQ is only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and this superpower has had a particularly strong effect on my teacher for some reason. I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took us to the wild for a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class answered and picked up a tree from the ground. ......

20, 1. One night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep at night, so I sent a short message to a friend and a sister: "I'm depressed, please chat with me." Soon, my sister wrote back: "OK, what do you want to talk about? The topic is up to you! " I thought about it and replied happily, "Then let's talk about something heavier, such as your weight!" " After a silence, my sister sent me a short message, which said, "This is too heavy, so say something superficial, such as your IQ!"! ! ! "My girlfriend asked her boyfriend in the Department of Botany," Today is my birthday! Why don't you send me flowers? " "What?" The boy replied, "Don't you know that flowers are the genitals of plants?" Why do we have to cut off their genitals? ......

Little joke for girls 10 1: The temple is too small to hold the big Buddha.

Going to a job fair with my classmates, both of them voted for the same company, but it seems that people are not interested. After he came back, he complained that MM, who was in charge of recruitment, was ignorant of Mount Tai and could not see his strengths. I sneer: "People are well-informed, how can you not see your strengths?" However, people think that your strengths are not long enough ... "He paused, and then retorted," Aren't you the same result? "

I took a break and answered, "How can I be like you? Didn't you hear what people finally told me? " I cleared my throat: "People say,' There is no room for a big bodhisattva in a small temple!'" "

2: Invite you to dinner ~

My colleague asked me to help her. I said why I should help you. Colleagues said you helped me and invited you to dinner. I just want to help her finish all kinds of big meals. She said, "well, I'll invite you to dinner tomorrow and bring a bag of mustard tuber to the first floor of the canteen tomorrow." I invite you to dinner and add whatever you want. " After listening, I was drunk, too.

3: It's more fun to be with 2B

A colleague, usually special 2. Everyone likes to play with him. On this day of work, I walked into the office happily and couldn't wait to show off my new mobile phone. Forget this. When I went to work the next day, I entered the office in a daze. The director asked him: What's the matter? Do you think you are in the wrong state? 2B said: I bought a new mobile phone yesterday and downloaded a weighing software at night. After the download was successfully installed, I put my mobile phone on the ground and stepped on it ... no one in the office could hold back from laughing.

4. Can you still have fun?

Idiot colleagues often watch videos on their mobile phones. Just now, I was looking at them again I came out of the office and saw several people gathered together. Hearing what the video said about underwear cups, I grabbed it and said, "I won the Olympics!" Great, big breasts! Forget it. I'll take it to the toilet first! " Then everyone looked at me with a stunned expression, and then my sister stopped talking and turned slightly red … Excuse me, can you let me know when we talk about business in the video? Can you still have fun?

5: Tell a joke.

A famous entrepreneur personally presided over the interview. I turned in my resume with trepidation. The entrepreneur asked nothing but, "Tell a joke!" "I talked for a long time, and finally came up with a joke about parrots:" A man went to a pet store to buy parrots, and the owner said to him,' We have three parrots, the blue one can speak four languages, which costs 1000 yuan, the red one can speak six languages, which costs 3,000 yuan, and the yellow one can't speak, which costs 5,000 yuan. "How did this happen?" the man shouted. "It can't do anything!" "Well," explained the shopkeeper, "we don't know, but the other two call it the boss." "After I say that finish, my face is blue. I know it's over this time!

6: Are you from a famous university?

Last June, 5438+065438+ 10, I learned that Shanghai was holding a job fair for news system talents, and I rushed there non-stop. I hung up my clothes and held them in my hand for fear of being crumpled in my suit on the train. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a bathroom to change clothes, adjusted my hair and went straight to the job fair.

There are more than 20 resumes in the bag, one after another. I didn't expect the other person to look up at my resume and ask me, "Are you from a famous university?" I can't wait to tell her the glorious history of the school in the past hundred years, but under the attention of everyone, I still disappeared in despair.

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