Super funny text message

A short message that makes people laugh instantly, a funny sentence.

A short message that makes people laugh instantly, a funny sentence.

Go your own way and make your ex-wife regret it! What? I'm ... I'm ... the bodyguard of the general manager of Kaiyuan Victoria Entertainment Plaza! The foot of my bed shines with such bright light that every grain is hard; Climbing up a flight of stairs, I looked up and found it was moonlight.

Three soldiers were late. One soldier: Report, we can't get a taxi and walk back. Platoon leader: OK! Go to the playground tomorrow and walk for me for a day! I think MTV has lost track of time. Platoon leader: OK! Prepare TV tomorrow and watch it all day! No food, no toilet! Bing C suddenly shouted excitedly: platoon leader, I confessed myself. I'll go whoring! !

A beautiful girl lost her hands and transplanted them into a man's. Shortly after leaving the hospital, the girl went to the hospital and complained, "These hands are so strange. Every time I take a shower, I always want to touch her breasts and genitals, and I can't stop ... "

It's going to crash. An American passenger couldn't stand it anymore, so he grabbed his parachute and prepared to jump out of the plane. Another Englishman said, hey! You ... there are women on the plane! American: Hum! You English pig! There is no time to do that now!

Sanzang: Let's talk about rice. Wukong: Xiang. Bajie: It smells good. Jason Wu: It smells a little sweet. Xiao Bai: I don't mind. Sanzang: As everyone agrees, Wukong, please make more demands.

The carpenter's new wife touched her second child and said, "It's too thick to fit in." The carpenter took out the plane and planed its legs flat. He gave the shavings to his daughter-in-law and said, "Look, the shavings are fine." So I did it happily. When I finished, my daughter-in-law said, "You'd better get some glue and stick the shavings back."

Rats are rarely found in maternity hospitals, so they intend to promote their experience. Team leader: "Excuse me, how do you kill rats?" Doctor: "We regularly put birth control pills where mice may pass."

"Why does your cat run so crazy?" "Well," Mrs. Carter explained, "I just had it operated on by the vet, and I'm busy canceling my original marriage everywhere recently."

A soldier has been shaking. The monitor saw it and asked loudly, "xxx, what are you doing?" The squad couldn't help but say, "Report to the squad leader, I want to be the first." Hearing this, I saw the monitor unhurriedly shouting, "Come here with that 1, he wants to fuck you."

Xiao Zhang was fired by the boss. Xiao Wang asked him why. Answer: "There are two reasons. The boss says I can't do anything serious, and the boss says I can't do anything indecent! " "

In the bedroom, when the young man took off his shirt and trousers, leaving only a pair of shorts, his girlfriend waited excitedly and shyly. "Look!" The young man bowed his head and said confidently, "Can my full and strong muscles win the place in the bodybuilding competition?"

One day I want to play mahjong with a female colleague in my unit. I said, "Do you want to play mahjong tonight?" Will mahjong come tonight? The female colleague said: "You are so big, I can't eat, I can't eat!" " You play mahjong so hard that she can't come.

Sanzang: Why hasn't Wukong come back to beg? Pigs don't draw water, and Jason Wu is also a meat steamed stuffed bun to beat dogs. Only Xiao Bai is still with me. Xiao Bai, I ... Xiao Bai: I'd rather be caught by the devil.

Xiao Li said: venison is valuable. Eating it can enhance sexual function. Xiaoding said: Tiger meat is valuable, but tigers are rare. Xiao Wang said: Dragon meat is valuable, but I only heard that it can't be eaten. Sun Xiao said: Human flesh is the most valuable. You haven't heard that people who make chickens and ducks are rich.

Miss Li's pager rang, and Miss Li sitting in the co-pilot said to herself, "Who will call me?" ? The driver Xiao Wang stopped the car and said sincerely, "Heaven and earth conscience, my hand has been on the steering wheel, and I didn't detain you."

Lao lang's son asked his father what fire meant, and Lao lang gently told him that it was something someone wanted. There was no chalk in the Chinese class, and the young female teacher just wanted to get it herself, when the son of Lao Lang immediately stood up and said; "Teacher, I know.

You are lewd, I will satisfy you ~ "

"Jasmine! One asked in a questioning tone, "am I really the first man to sleep in your bed?" "If you are really asleep," the girl replied derisively, "then you are really the first one." ..."

"These two little guys are so cute. What are their names? " "I don't know." "Look at you, a father, who doesn't even know the name of his child?" These two children are not mine. I am a salesman in a contraceptive factory. These two children were returned by customers. ".

Men are coffee, which always excites women. Men are cement, and it takes time to get hardness. Man is a rainstorm, and I don't know how long it can last. Men are holidays, which always make women feel that they are not long enough.

"I don't like what the former congressman did, so I ran against him." "But how can you be elected?" "I think it's because everyone who knows him voted for me, everyone who knows me voted for him, and more people know him than me."

"Is this your first visit to the celestial camp?" "How do you know? Is my skin too white? " "Oh, no, it's very strong."

Grandma Liu entered the ballroom and asked, "Are those couples dancing?" Others replied, "A dancer can't jump out of a couple." Grandma Liu asked again, "If it weren't for the couple, nothing would have happened?" Others replied, "Yes, the strange thing is that you can't have an accident." ! "

A couple went to the marriage registry to get a marriage certificate. Applicant asked: What's this person's name? Man: Park Chang. Interviewee: What about that woman? Female: Mai Yin.

A female patient was sitting in the dentist's chair, and the dentist said, "I'm going to drill." The female patient said, "Drill, doctor." The dentist said, "But you are holding my penis." The female patient said, "None of us will hurt anyone, right?"

The professor gave a lecture on love, but he didn't make it clear for a week. Two mice having sex in a cave snickered: "A bunch of idiots, isn't that what love is like?"

A swimmer swam across the English Channel. When he landed, many cheering people surrounded him. A Jew came up and asked inexplicably, "Don't you know there are ships sailing here?"