There are many popular jokes that can be played in junior high school and senior high school! thank you

I hope the landlord will have a good look. Hope to adopt. May the landlord perform successfully! ! ! !

Crosstalk "King Kong Push Rock" Text: (A, B and C come on stage at the same time, C stands in the middle, A is on the right) B This time, the three of us will have a cross talk. C: What shall we say? B I will give you an idea, and you two will follow. What is A talking about? B Let's talk about Jin'gangtui Rock Rock once, also called 128 leg. How do you call C 128 legs? For example, an object, whether it is food, food or use, must have four legs. For example, there is such a mountain, of course, it has no legs, and you can't walk around it all over the street! A: Yes! For example, this mountain is called "Niutou Mountain". How many legs does a cow have? C has four legs. From now on, you are not allowed to leave the cow. You two count. A and C. B have such a mountain ... A and C have four legs. What temples are there on Mount B? A and c have four legs. What gods are there in Temple B? A and c have four legs. What trees are there in front of B Temple? A and c have four legs. What bird is landing on the B tree? A and c have four legs. B What fruit is there in the bird's mouth? A and c have four legs. What bridge did B cross down the hill from? A and c have four legs. B where are you going? A and c have four legs. Who is at home? A and c have four legs. B call the door. Who opened the door? A and c have four legs. What is given in B? Sit down. A and c have four legs. B what story did you tell when you sat down? A and c have four legs. What's B's food? A and c have four legs. What's B's drink? A and c have four legs. What did b give you? A and c have four legs. B that's it. A and c have four legs. (on purpose) You two. A and c have four legs. B, booing? A and c have four legs. B, is it over? You got it? A and c have understood. B Then I'll say it first, then you (referring to C) and then you (nailing) finally. C: What mountain did you say first? Erlongshan. One, you wait. Dragons have no legs, dragons have claws. b？ Where does that paw grow? A is on the leg. B it's true. What temples are there on Mount C? B "Dragon King" Temple. What are the gods in Temple C? B "Dragon King". What trees are there in front of Temple C? B "dragon" claw locust. What bird is landing on the C tree? "Dragon" kite. What fruit does C bird have in its mouth? "Dragon" national source. Which bridge did C take down the mountain? Clear the "dragon" bridge. Oh, Beijing North! Where are you going? B "Dragon" Fu Temple. Oh, Beijing! Whose home? The old "dragon" home. C hundred family names don't have this name! This is a foreign surname. C, um, the other surname is here. Who opened the door? B "deaf" c deaf? So he can't hear you when you call? B Oh ... yes, someone who is not deaf told him. C, this is ridiculous. He also told the deaf to open the door. Won't he open the door? What a clever trick! What are you doing here? "dragon" wharf C hey! Dragon shield! What to drink? "Dragon" well tea. What bowl? Group b "dragon" covers the bowl. What did C give you? "Dragon" egg cake. C didn't marry, where did the Longfeng cake come from? B Yes, I got it from a girl next door. C, look at this ingenuity! So what story did you tell? B "Long Tu Gong An". Oh, it's Bao Gong An. Is he happy? Le Yi. What money did C give? B make long money. Hey! All this money must have holes. Line c! I really didn't ask you a short question b, alas! I quit. It's your turn (pointing to C)! What is your mountain? My Shouyang Mountain. B Oh, Boyi and Shu Qi starved to death in shouyangshan because they didn't eat Zhou family meals. What temples are there on the mountain? The temple imitated by C "Yang". What gods are there in Temple B? C "Yang" follows suit. What trees are there in front of B Temple? C big leaf "Yang". What bird is landing on the B tree? Hu Ba Ra (Shrike). There is no "sheep" in Ebara! C, "foreign" Hubala! B "foreign" Hubala! What's in your mouth? C "sheep" head. B sheep head? Can a bird's beak hold a big sheep's head? C small "sheep" head. What a shame! C apples. B apples don't have "sheep" C "foreign" apples B Hey! Add a "foreign". Which bridge did you go down from? "Foreign" grey bridge. B where are you going? "Yang" road. Who is at home? C "yang" home. Who opened the door for you? Aunt C "Yang". Let me in. What did you give me? Chair C Chair B Chair There is no "sheep" C foreign chair. What would you like to drink? "Sheep" milk. What bowl did b make for you? What does C "foreign" porcelain bowl B give you to eat? C bread. B There is no "sheep" in bread. C and b "foreign" snacks. B I know this. What story did you tell them? C "Yang Jiajiang". Are they happy? Bingle is very happy. What did b give you? C gave ten large pieces of foreign currency. B foreign money has no eye! C, I'll chisel it now! Can you give me some silver slag? Did B (Nail) ask you? You both said it. Is it my turn to talk? B ok, you go ahead. What mountain? My duck chicken mountain. C, no! ? Font color="#006699 "> What's the significance? /p & gt； Yes, are there no other chickens? Oh, let's go. What temple? Jiayaji Temple. What gods are there in Temple B? Otsuichi's family has a duck and a chicken. B I knew it was this hand! Did you give it? Font color="#006699 "> Jiayin (5) is resistant to going back to Mukan, why not go back to Yesang? /p & gt； A horse, Anshan. Oh, Yu Boya broke the piano. What temples are there on the mountain? A "horse" temple. What gods are there in Temple B? A "horse" report B ok! Three eyes! What trees are there in front of the temple? A large-leaved "horse-tailed" pine poplar. Couple b is here! What bird is landing on the tree? A horse osprey. Oh, the yellow-bellied horse. What fruit is there in my mouth? A "horse" rushes to B: Why? A tied his sheep's head (pointing to C). No. Why bother when the sheep's head is gone? You have to find another one! Jiazao! B "jujube" has no "horse"! A: Yes, "Ma" tooth dates. C "foreign" apple B is coming again! Let you do small business? Which bridge did you go down from? A horse-shaped stone bridge. B where are you going? Jiasi "Ma" Road. Who is at home? Jia Lao's "horse" home. B call the door. Who opened the door? A "horse" big brother. Let me in. What did you give me? A toilet. What did b give you to drink? A kind of horse urine. What did b give you to eat? A piece of horse manure! What is this? Can you listen to how famous artists perform ~ /searchs.asp? Music & ampq=%BD%F0%B8%D5%CD%C8

Essay: Ma Su Street Pavilion

Ma Su: I-I stood in the wind [immediately fanned the wind below], wishing I couldn't, and took Sima Yi's life. Look, heaven, clouds are everywhere. [Sword drawn] Sword in hand, see who is the hero in the world! Wow, what a high mountain. We are camping here today.

Captain 1: absolutely not. What can we do if the enemy surrounds us?

Masu: Look at this mountain. It's dark and damp. [Touching my face and changing my tone] ... Take good care of my skin. Take the troops up the mountain first.

Masu: Stop! -climb high and overlook, and you can have a panoramic view of thousands of miles. I improvised a poem, "The scenery in the north is clear, and the water in Wan Li is floating." ...

Captain 1: Are you kidding? Where did the water come from this day?

Captain 2: No, it's a poem by Chairman Mao, isn't it?

Masu: You ... you ... I do, my ass.

Captain 2: General, do you want to irrigate again?

Masu: Why, I am the boss here, and I am what I say.

Captain 2: I have put up with it again and again, and now I can't take it anymore.

Captain 1: bear with it. If unemployment doesn't get worse, you will get sick at work.

Captain 2: What else can we pursue in this life besides completing the task and getting the bonus?

The phone rings, Masu answers: Who is drinking? Ah, strategist, right, right, right, guarantee to complete the task.

Ma Su said to Zhuge Shijun, the lieutenant: We were in a mouse country just now. The mailbox of Com website is broken again. The military asked me to learn DOS Daquan at once and fix it quickly. If I can't finish the task, my bonus will be gone.

Captain 2: Damn, the strategist is dark enough.

Captain 1: Hey, what should I do?

Captain 2: If you can't, send a gift.

Captain 1: What are you sending?

Captain 2: There are no gifts this year, only melatonin.

Captain 1: I think it is more economical to send rice and white flour.

Captain 2: Forget it. The landlord's family has no surplus grain these days. You won't be scolded for sending these.

Masu: Silly, I can't even give gifts. SARS is prevalent this year. White vinegar, salt, Radix Isatidis-for my beloved!

Captain 1: Look ~ ~ ~-The enemy has reached the foot of the mountain.

Masu: Right, volunteers, wait for the news of our meritorious service (three pendulum)

Voice-over: Now broadcast the news.

There are two people coming from outside.

Man: It's a news broadcast now.

W: First of all, Harbin News.

M: With the encouragement of the state and the efforts of all the staff, we in Heilongjiang Netcom have made outstanding progress.

The glorious title of the collective. A word can be summed up in a thousand words, Harbin, awesome! (thumbs up with both hands)

Woman: Inspired by the people of the world, under the leadership of the company and under the brick of netizens in Harbin, we succeeded.

Completed this year's flood control task, * * * deleted more than 365,000 water stickers and cancelled irrigation ID9 1 1 ...

He: Yes! (v-hand)

W: The significance of completing the task is far-reaching and great. How should we face the road ahead?

M: A thousand words are summed up in one sentence. You can't run away if you irrigate Sun Island!

W: Here are the headlines. The well-prepared sketch "Masu Street Pavilion" is being staged. Due to the hasty rehearsal time, the program is still immature, but the purpose of the sketch is only one, bringing joy to netizens. The Harbin-Hong Kong Forum is a gathering of talents, and a piece of true feelings is a joke. Looking at the world situation, the scenery here is the best, thank you! The news broadcast is over, thanks for watching!

In the news, two people left the stadium with placards-Ma Su was defeated and Zhuge was depressed in the military camp. ...

Zhuge: The current news broadcast is so bad that there is no professional standard at all. The man's hair is split, but the woman's skin is not good. At first glance, using Dabao is useless. ...

Captain 1: Report to the Prime Minister! This is not good!

Zhuge: Who's here? !

Captain 1: Tan, the last general, will send a letter to the Prime Minister!

Zhuge said after reading the letter, "Only you, can you give me the letter?" Only you can remind Masu, and only you can guarantee it.

Protect his hordes back, only you have the strongest execution, ouch ~ ~ ~ "

Captain: Oh, what? Oh, I don't estimate the feelings of the audience at all. Be careful of me.

Masu, go.

Ma Su: "Prime Minister, Sima Yi did not abide by the UN Security Council resolution 188 and suddenly attacked me. This shameless and immoral behavior should be condemned and reviled by people all over the world. I implore Wei to attach importance to the friendship between Shu and Wei Chuantong and not to interfere with the normal development of the relationship between Shu and Wei. I will reserve the right to further investigate this attack. "

Zhuge said, "Somebody, chop Ma Su."

Masu: Now this sword is only 0.0 1 cm from my throat, but after 30 seconds, the person who wants to kill me will give up the idea completely because I have decided to tell the truth. Although I have told countless true lies in my life, I guarantee that this sentence is the most perfect and true truth.

Masu: There was once a very detailed and complete irrigation plan in front of me. I didn't give a hopeful answer, and I didn't know how to fix it. I think the most cowardly thing in my life is to go to the toilet without toilet paper. If the sky is empty, I want to say to that battle plan: "I cherish you, Sun Island BBS." If it takes a whole year, I hope it will be 10 thousand years! "

Cast: Amayi Zhuge Liang

C- Captain 1D- Captain 2

Son-male broadcast ugly-female broadcast