Joke: The short message joke in Daquan.

1, Ren Lei's quotation: young and strong, not working hard, the boss Foxconn; Being a man should be low-key and working high-profile, which my mother has always stressed; Your so-called love is not as real as slapping your face! Maybe it seems so, but not necessarily.

2, the process of changing the object of love: after changing to a beautiful woman, I found that the appearance does not match; After becoming a rich girl, I found that consumption is not worth it; After changing to Shangguan's daughter, I found my position unworthy; After changing into a girl, I found that my posture was wrong; After changing into a lady, I found myself feeling wrong; After changing into a slut, I found that the hat was the wrong color. There is no perfect love in the world, it is more realistic to be romantic! I wish love happiness.

3. Love is fake and real estate is real; Ability is false and relationship is true; Relying on father is false, and relying on michel platini is true; Everything can be fake, but money can't be fake. As for whether you believe it or not, I believe it anyway.

4, fat girls are like the Mid-Autumn Festival, emotional; Thin girls, like the first quarter moon, are skinny; Legs as thin as crane legs, sexy; The thighs are as thick as elephant legs, which makes them feel safe. Women never lack beauty, but confidence, sister, please go ahead boldly!

5, no salary increase, no promotion, even the year-end award was cancelled, and I plan to drown my sorrows with wine. Someone brought a bottle of wine, and when everyone saw the name of the wine, tears fell down, and some people immediately cried. The name of this wine is very attractive .....

6. One day, at a meeting in the Dragon Palace, Prime Minister Oogway took something out of his pocket, looked at it and put it back. The dragon king asked him what he was looking at. There was silence. The soldier and the crab whispered: the old bastard got the text message again!

7. The engine of a passenger plane caught fire and was about to crash. A male passenger grabbed a parachute and prepared to jump out of the plane. A gentleman said, hello! There are women on the plane! Male passenger: I don't have time for that!

8. Someone went to the laboratory, and the nurse pointed to the card in front and said: Non-undergraduate personnel are not allowed to enter. The visitor was furious and scolded, "I'll take a urine test and get a fucking bachelor's degree."

I admit that I can't catch up with you. There are so many people chasing you! Well, I'm definitely hopeless. Some things can't be forced. Forget it, give the opportunity to others. Whoever catches up with you will kill the people anyway. You still run, dead mouse.

10, are you busy? Nothing, just want to tell you that I miss you in a way that doesn't bother you! I hope that when you receive this message, you will smile at your mouth, arch your nose and hum twice to let other pigs know that your master likes you best!

1 1. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

12, I haven't heard from you for a long time. I wonder if you are all right now? I passed by your house the other day and went in to have a look. I saw you asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. Hey, only you have a litter of pigs!

13, if I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

14, have you heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I brushed it in this life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, so they fucking turned back!

15, a child cried, and his father said, don't cry. Later, dad will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar.

16. In Hong Kong, a girl passed a fortune-telling booth. The fortune teller grabbed the girl and said, "You have a bad omen. It will be bad for you." The girl said, "Just remove it." Then she turned and left. The fortune teller said to the girl, "Even if you escape, you can't escape the two big waves of life."

17. What's the name of boxing champion Ali's father? Alibaba.

18. If you receive this message, you just like me. If you delete it, you have a crush on me If you reply to the message, you just want to marry me. If you don't, you promise to marry me. If you modify it, it will be mine. If you save it, the rest of your life will be mine! It's up to you

19, I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

Dear users, at this time, we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the Palestinian national liberation cause. Therefore, the Palestinian self-government has decided to give you a lofty title in the name of the whole Arab world: Ben Shalebaki!

One day at 2 1, Bajie asked Tang Priest: Master, is this world really the ugliest for me? The Tang Priest turned pale and said, Ask Sister Guanyin! When Bajie came back from Guanyin, he asked cheerfully, Hehe, Master, who is XXX? Ha ha!

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