How to chat with introverted girls These chatting skills can help you.

In social situations, extroverts often give people a feeling of being talkative.

On the contrary, introverts, because they are used to being taciturn or not good at expressing themselves, can easily become a group of people who are "ignored" at parties.

Of course, whether a person is introverted or extroverted, there is no difference in personality. If you think it's okay to keep a quiet and low-key image in social situations, there's no need to change yourself.

But if you feel that in social situations, you should properly express your views and dare to show your personal value, then speaking is one of the more intuitive ways.

For introverts, it's not that they can't speak, but that they don't know how to speak properly.

They always feel that suddenly speaking will give people a feeling of being out of place; For some topics, it is even more difficult to interrupt. If you just interrupt, you will worry that others will cast a strange look.

The reason is that they are used to the posture and image of not talking, so they feel "uncertain" about the posture change of "speaking actively", and they don't know how to strike up a conversation, how to joke and how to refute others.

Because I think too much, I have been unable to break through the psychological barrier and say what I want to say.

If you want to change this situation, there is no need to make the introverted personality become extroverted. Only by mastering and using some conversation skills can we improve this situation well.

The Basic Timing of Chatting Introverted chatters are often in a "passive" state and don't know when and what to say.

So let them find the "breakthrough" of chatting, let them turn passive into active, and dare to talk to others. And this "breakthrough" is to know how to identify the timing of three dialogues:

1, when chatting silently, ask questions to initiate a conversation;

2. Others speak and lead to topics through keywords;

3. When others ask questions, they know how to construct arguments to express their views;

These three "opportunities" are often encountered in our daily chat activities. A person who can chat will seize these opportunities alternately and say what he wants to say according to the present situation.

But for introverts, of course, it is difficult to create these opportunities so actively.

Therefore, as long as you can recognize these opportunities in the process of passive chat, you can use your conversation skills a little bit to get yourself involved in the topic properly, even if you have completed the task.

These four opportunities also have corresponding chat skills. As long as it is used properly, introverts can speak freely with others and leave a good impression.

So how to use these skills?

Start a chat by asking questions. When we chat with others, we usually start by asking questions.

For example, between acquaintances, a simple sentence "What are you busy with recently" can open each other's chatterboxes. So it is not difficult to ask questions. The difficult thing is whether the other party is willing to answer your question.

From a psychological point of view, people are often more willing to answer questions that are related to themselves but have nothing to do with privacy.

Especially in social situations, there is a certain limit to being able to talk about the topic on the table. Find a balance between talking and not talking, and you can establish a "safe zone" for chatting.

Introverts, because they can't find this balance, are either afraid of offending others or worried that their remarks are inappropriate, so it is easy to think for a long time and finally have to remain silent.

In fact, as long as your question can meet the current situation and does not involve too much privacy of the other party, you don't have to worry too much.

For example, if you take the high-speed train and ask a girl if she has a boyfriend as soon as you get up, others will certainly not be so happy to answer you. Because there is no reasonable reason for this question in that environment, and it involves the privacy of the other party, which will obviously cause the other party's resistance.

On the contrary, if you ask the other person where to get off, and then give the reason why you ask, saying that you are going to travel and want to know what is interesting in that place, then others will be happy to chat with you.

Therefore, asking questions is the first step in establishing a dialogue. To form a good interaction with others, your question must meet the following characteristics:

1 is what others are interested in, good at, want to talk about and can talk about;

Choose the most appropriate questions according to the other person's hobbies, work experience, lifestyle, etc.

As for food, clothing, housing and transportation, generally everyone has relevant experiences and understandings. What restaurants are delicious, what movies are good, where to play and so on. , you can build a topic.

2, the question is specific enough, there are points that the other party can answer;

The most taboo to ask others questions is to ask vaguely. Even a simple question like "How have you been recently" makes others puzzled.

Are you asking about work, life, feelings or something else? Others don't know how to answer, just answer "not bad" and send them away.

So you must "concretize" the question and ask for a point, such as "How is your work recently? Are you busy? " , so there are others to answer.

3. It will not cause negative emotions such as embarrassment and embarrassment of the other party;

I don't need to elaborate on this. Don't talk about your own problems and expose the shortcomings of others. As long as you know how to respect the privacy of others, feel free to chat boldly.

When you don't know what to talk about, ask the other person a question according to these characteristics, and then you can break the silence and build a chat situation.

Introverts who use keywords to lead to more topics can find some keywords from other people's speeches and extend them, which can play a role in establishing topics.

This skill does not need to be as eloquent as it is now, and it has the ability to trigger topics anytime and anywhere. Listen to the other person's words, and it is enough to "wait for an opportunity" to find "keywords" that can start the topic.

For example, someone said that when I passed the post office yesterday, I found a dessert shop open. I saw the facade of this shop, and it was decorated in fashion. I wonder if the dessert in it is delicious.

What is the main keyword of this sentence? Dessert, of course.

As an introvert, after the other person throws the topic on his own initiative, you can use keywords to lead to the chat topic according to the content of the other person's words, and leave the rest to the other person to chat slowly!

Using keyword chat, you can dig the topic of chat from the other person's words, without thinking about what to talk about yourself, and everything will be natural.

This is also one of the opportunities to "cut in".

With the help of keywords, there are three forms of interruption:

1, please interrupt. For example:

Friend: Trump has imposed tariffs on China again. With the escalation of Sino-US trade war, if we want our economy to be unaffected, we must reduce our dependence on American exports.

The key word of this sentence, you can choose "dependence", and then you ask a friend to interrupt you and say, "Why should we reduce our dependence on American goods? What's good for our economy? "

In this way, throwing the topic to friends, even if you don't understand the topic, your questions also play a transitional role, so that you can't express your opinions and have nothing to say.

2. Complementary interrupt. For example:

Friend: Trump has imposed tariffs on China again. With the escalation of Sino-US trade war, if we want our economy to be unaffected, we must reduce our dependence on American exports.

Similarly, according to the key word "dependence", if you are familiar with this topic, you can add: "Yes, for example, US soybean exports to China account for 62% of all US soybean exports, and China's soybean consumption is heavily dependent on imports, which makes it highly dependent on foreign countries. Only by gradually reducing this dependence can we win this trade war. "

3, refute interjected. For example:

Friend: Trump has imposed tariffs on China again. With the escalation of Sino-US trade war, if we want our economy to be unaffected, we must reduce our dependence on American exports.

If you have different opinions, you can refute it according to the key word "dependence": "I don't think this practice in the United States will have any impact on our economy. There are some commonly used items in their tariff list. What many Americans have to buy. In the end, the tariff was passed on to American consumers, and we imported American goods without buying them, which had little impact on our lives. "

By using keywords, you can identify some conversation opportunities and express your views in a targeted manner.

Introverts who know how to establish their own opinions are afraid to speak, largely because they don't know how to establish the structure of expression and let their ideas be fully expressed.

The simplest example is when you ask them, "Is this movie good?" Their answers are often short, either "not bad", "not bad" or "just so so". As for why they think so, they can't tell why.

Because I don't know how to organize the language to express my thoughts, I am used to speaking in short sentences, and when I am finally asked to say a long paragraph, my mind will be blank.

Admittedly, if you want to have something to say, it is also important that you have enough knowledge reserves and personal experience.

But when you talk about your own views in daily life, you also need a process of "argumentation". With this process, your own opinions will be more powerful.

At this time, an expression structure of impromptu speech can come in handy.

Page (abbreviation of page) R.E.P is the most important principle in communication, and each letter represents a meaning.

P stands for viewpoint, viewpoint and proposition;

R stands for reason, reason, reason;

E stands for example, example and case;

P stands for point, emphasizing point again;

To put it simply, when we express ourselves, we can express our views first and then draw a conclusion. In this process, explain the credibility of this conclusion through in-depth explanation, strengthen your impression with an example, and finally repeat your core argument to complete a complete expression.

This principle is divided into four steps:

1. Draw a conclusion first.

This is the first golden principle of communication.

In real life, we can discuss a topic because we all have our own conclusions about things.

You think so, he thinks so, so everyone is expressing a clear point of view. Even if your point of view is not mature enough, this is your own new conclusion, not a waste of time.

Before you speak, you must know what you want to express.

For example:

Life is a painful process, and any effort is in vain.

Life is never smooth sailing, we should learn to live in the present.

These thoughtless people hindered the development of China.

2. Provide sufficient reasons to support your point of view.

After watching a movie, you feel good. This is your opinion, so can you tell the reason and support your opinion?

Providing a good reason has two meanings. One is to make it clear whether the logical deduction behind your conclusion is reasonable; The second is to let the audience understand the real meaning behind your point of view.

Otherwise, you don't think China people should travel abroad, but you can't say why, and the reasons given are unreasonable, and others will only think that you are being unreasonable.

3. Use relevant examples to deepen the impression.

Of course, empty explanations generally give people a boring feeling. If you can visualize your speech with an example, then everyone will have a deeper understanding of your speech.

Of all human expressions, we have the highest acceptance of stories. Add one or more vivid examples, your conclusion will be supported by both data and facts, and your speech will be very substantial.

Finally, reiterate your point of view.

Finally, make a concluding speech so that the audience can better understand your point of view.

Re-emphasizing your conclusion can make everyone focus on your point of view again, so that there will be subsequent interaction.

For example:

Life is never smooth sailing, but we should learn to live in the present. (viewpoint)

Think about how many obstacles and difficulties you have experienced since birth. Countless, but we all survived or didn't care about them, so we can move on and live well until now. (explanation)

I got cancer six years ago, which is the biggest difficulty in my life. I once had a time when my life was coming to an end, and no sadness or grief could help. Guess what I did? Just live in the moment, live as if nothing happened every time, eat, drink and sleep. Going to the hospital feels like an ordinary routine job, not the final judgment of my life. I have no other way to help myself, but to live as optimistically as possible. What was the result? I miraculously defeated cancer. (stories, examples)

Therefore, it is not a smooth life, but the normal state of our life. But as long as you know how to live in the present and work hard every day, everything will pass. (emphasize key points)

This is the application of preparatory rules.

Introverted friends, as long as they know how to practice speaking in this way, it is not difficult to integrate into the conversation atmosphere of the party.

Of course, there is also an opportunity to chat, that is, when everyone is joking, they know how to open their minds, mobilize their thinking, play a sense of humor and blend in.

As long as you have confidence in yourself and dare to express your thoughts, you can become very talkative!