Classic bad joke, very cold, thank you very much

There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together. The penguin pulled out the hairs on his body one by one. After pulling out, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!" The polar bear listened, He also pulled out the hairs on his body one by one, turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!"

There is a penguin whose home is very far away from the polar bear's home. If we leave, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin was very bored at home and was going to go find the polar bear to play. So he went out, but when he was halfway down the road, he found that he had forgotten to lock the door. It had been 10 years since he left, but the door still had to lock. Lock it, so the penguin walked home again to lock the door. After locking the door, the penguin set off again to find the polar bear. Finally, it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's house... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said: "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" After the polar bear opened the door, guess what? What he said... "Let's go to your house to play~"

The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"

That's it. . . "The little white rabbit left dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" "

Boss: "I'm sorry, but still not available."

"That's it. . . "The little white rabbit left dejectedly again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" "

The boss said happily: "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two! "

The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution?

The classmate answered: Make the lunch box blue

There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was When the car hit him, he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a cucumber!!

Once upon a time there was a bird

He would pass by a cornfield every day

But unfortunately

One day there was a fire in the corn field

All the corn turned into popcorn

After the bird flew over...

I thought it was snowing, so I was freezing...

Do you know what color Spider-Man is?

Red, wrong!

It’s white

If you don’t believe it, read Spider Man’s English: spider man (white person)

After a group of animals had a party, they rushed I went into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something. It was too noisy and the clerk beat me out. But the lamb was left alone in the store. Why?

Convenience stores are open 24 hours a day...

Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach, and then he made a "porphyry" sound. What did you say he pulled out? Here we come~~

That’s Qin Dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) feces?

Answer: yellow

Because: Qin Shihuang (celery feces is yellow)

There was a fat man...

Jumping from the top of the 20th floor...

The result became...

Damn fat man!!

Ants from the Himala How did he die after falling down from Mount Yashan?

Answer: Starved to death.

Because it is too light~ it takes a long time to float down...

The story happened in China a long time ago,

After playing a guessing game with scissors, rock and paper for an afternoon

p>

Going home together, walking...

Shitou noticed an oil lamp dropped on the side of the road, similar to Aladdin's magic lamp

He was curious Picked it up and brushed off the dust on it

Suddenly white smoke came out of the bottle of the magic lamp

A dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke..

p>

But Shenlong was dry and a little malnourished

He spoke: "Who let me out?" The weak one

Shitou said: It's me, it's me The one who let you out

Shenlong: "Oh...ahem...Then I can give you a wish..."

Shitou: "Ah...only one, isn't there three?"

Shenlong: "I'm sorry...because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong...if you don't want to, just pull me down..."

Shitou: "Okay...then...you can knock the three of us down." Is laxative an adult? We are tired of playing guessing games every day."

Shenlong: "Oh... I'll give it a try... but maybe only one of them can succeed... because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong..." < /p>

Shenlong coughed a few times and spat on the three of them respectively

The three of them were gradually enveloped in white smoke, and Shenlong also gradually disappeared in the Three-Character Sutra.

When the white smoke dissipates...

Stone is still stone, scissors are still scissors, only cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into a human!

When one family was happy and two were sad,

Someone happened to be passing by and saw this scene,

so he recorded it,

p>

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

………….

Build success and become a human being.

Then this statement spread to later generations and was also included in Chinese teaching materials.

A man met God one day...

God suddenly became kind and planned to give that person a wish...

God asked...

< p>Do you have any wish...

The man thought for a while...

I heard that cats have 9 lives...

Please give it to me. 9 lives...

God said...

Your wish comes true...

I want to just die...

Anyway, there are 9 lives

Just lying on the railroad tracks...

As a result, a train drove past...

The man was still dead. …

Why is this?

]

Because that train has 10 carriages...

I have been dating her for several years, right?

There seems to be less phone calls lately.

Feeling weaker

Ask her why

She just lowered her head and said nothing...

Me too I don’t know what to do

After all...you can’t force feelings

I heard from my friends

She has been very close to a man recently

I can’t believe it

I don’t want to believe it either

Because… I really like her…

But… that day On the street

I actually saw her and another him

Holding hands

Talking and laughing very intimately

In an instant

My heart... is broken...

After my inquiries

I found out that he... is actually a medical student

< p>There is also a big hospital at home

How can I, a third-rate university student, compare to that...

I have been unable to sleep these days

I still want to save the relationship between us...

I thought about it for a long time

I decided to give her an apple every day

Because

I firmly believe

“An apple a day keeps a doctor away.”

A bear comes by: Come prepared (come prepared)

Book 11: Incredible (book11)

The sheep stopped breathing: elated (the sheep did not exhale)

How to make the drink larger? Reciting the Great Compassion Mantra

One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly, a Daiben passed by him. When it passed him, the driver shouted to him:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Daiben?" After that, " "Whoosh!" It soared far away.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the accelerator to catch up.

As soon as he was about to catch up, the driver stuck out his head and shouted at him:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Daben?" Then, "whoosh" disappeared again. .

"Damn, what the hell!" After scolding Mr. Wang, he felt a little better and stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw the Mercedes-Benz overturned on the side of the road. He was curious and drove closer slowly.

The driver was pinned under the car and said feebly:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Mercedes-Benz? Do you know where its brakes are?"

An international student was taking the driver's license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. He was not sure and asked the examiner:

"turn left?"

Answer: "right"

p>

So... I hung up..

Question: What are you afraid of cloth and paper?

Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.

Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper).

Male: I really love you, please be my girlfriend!!

Female: But I have no feelings for you at all!!

Male: Well, tell me what is bad about me, and I will change it!!!

Female: Then tell me what is good about me, and I will change it!!!

At the Water Splashing Festival, everyone poured water on each other to bless each other. Suddenly, someone cursed: Damn, who poured water on me? Others advised: Splashing on you is a blessing to you. The scolder said: Don't do this, who just poured boiling water on me?

When the freshmen started school, a buddy came to our dormitory with luggage on his back. He asked a roommate who was sleeping on the lower bunk: "Is your upper bunk unoccupied?" The sleeping buddy was also confused. He was concerned and said casually: "No~"

After hearing this, the guy used all his strength to throw a large bag of luggage onto the upper bunk - but there was no bed board in the upper bunk!

A high school classmate of mine wrote an essay with the title "Return to Alma Mater". Among the excerpts: I drove an expensive sports car, next to Xiaomi, back to my alma mater. Are you going back to your alma mater to get beaten up? Come donate! Students and teachers greeted each other in the aisles, and the principal's face was filled with smiles. He shouted: "Welcome Wu Wanwan to return to his alma mater!"

The teacher commented after reading: It's whimsical and unrealistic, take it back. Rewrite!

Rewritten content: I rode a Feige bicycle, carrying my wife and children back to my alma mater with a squeaking sound. Is the beating coming? Sponsorship is here! The principal said with a smile: "The school's funds are also tight now." In the end, only my former Chinese teacher sympathetically gave me 50 yuan and repeatedly told me: "Regain confidence in life and find a good job again!"

After reading it, the teacher commented: "The intention is profound and the writing is simple." , a rare masterpiece!

Reservation Office: Tickets are extremely tight now. If the train ticket you want is not available, will you accept the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After I got the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did you give me a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

Booking Office: Didn’t you say you should obey the adjustment?

My girlfriend just sent me a text message: "Let's break up!"

After a while, I received again: "Sorry, I sent it to the wrong person!!"