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Acquaintance Pit Acquaintance Classic Joke 1, I just chatted with a young man who came to our hospital for treatment. I asked: How old is the young man this year? He said 23, I said? Looks like 26 years old. ? I asked:? Are you dating someone? He refused. then what Me neither. ? When I saw the strange eyes of the young man, I wanted to say that I was just chatting. I didn't mean anything by it, and I'm not gay.

2. The rooster crows early every day, which always destroys the dream of the two generations. This morning, Sister Afan got up in a rage, grabbed the rooster and cut off its tail and comb with scissors. Then he looked at the big cock with bald tail and said, this one looks like a hen and won't bark again! ?

3. Colleagues like to watch running men. Since the first season, the cycle has not dropped. I asked her what she was looking at. She said it was mainly to see the baby's face change. I said I didn't go to the appraisal, which was incomplete. Incomplete? He she just changed her head?

4. The Tang Priest was hungry and said:? Wukong, you are hungry, your teacher. Go and eat some vegetarian food! ? Wukong will be back soon with only a few cucumbers in his hand. Tang Priest:? Where is this? Wukong:? Fiona Fang is full of cucumber fields, I don't know where! ? Tang Priest:? Help me up, I must be in the girl country! ?

5, go downstairs to eat at noon, meet beautiful women and other elevators in the elevator, very sexy and charming, just look at it more. Here comes the elevator, and the beautiful woman enters it. Although it was upward, I followed it in order to see more beautiful women. Unexpectedly, the beauty came out again. I was just about to shut down the elevator by force when a beautiful woman's laughter came from outside.

6. My sister took a nap with the air conditioner on. It wasn't long before she fell asleep and woke up. She found herself covered with a quilt and sweaty. The little niece looked at her sister innocently, and her mother laughed at her. The little niece said confidently? Aunt said that the menstrual period was very cold and she was in a cold sweat. Let me cover you with a quilt. ? God, this Xiong Haizi, it's intentional, it must be intentional!

7. The landlord lived in 1992 and has been single since he failed in love. My mother said to me: If you don't bring a girl back next Spring Festival, don't come back either. ? I said:? What if I find one and she takes me home? Father aside: it doesn't matter if someone asks you not to come back. ? Me:

8. The boy saw a beautiful girl in a bar. He wanted to go up and strike up a conversation, but he was afraid. He had a brainwave, wrote a note and handed it to the girl: If you like me, please smile. If you don't like me, please do a back flip ? The girl smiled at the note. When she stood up and knocked on the table, it was a back flip?

9. There is a woman in the personnel department of boyfriend company, who has been engaged in personnel management for many years and has a well-known reputation. Finally, one day, I transferred to another department, but many people still asked her about her personnel troubles. She was really impatient that day and shouted: I am no longer in the personnel (boundary)! ! !

10, a young man who just left the army was robbed by two robbers in the middle of the night. The robbers swore at him and asked him to hand over the money. After all, the young man just came out of the army and shouted: Huh? He immediately punched three sets of military fists and was stabbed more than 30 times.

1 1. The second-rate colleague sitting next to me keeps three oriental salamanders. This amphibian will eat the faded skin after molting. One afternoon, it happened that an oriental salamander was molting, and the two of us watched it molting around the fish tank. Idiot colleague said flatly: hungry. Take off its skin and eat it! ?

12. Once, when I was halfway, I had a sudden urgency to urinate, so I ran to the wild for convenience. The grass is half a man's depth. There's always a feeling of stabbing your ass when you come out. I can't go back and open my pants because my colleagues scream too much. I thought it was a weed, so leave it alone. When I came home, I unbuttoned my pants and saw a grasshopper bloody flat on my ass.

13, when I was in high school, I had a dog at home, and my mother treated it as a child. Once a classmate came to play at home, and my mother held the dog to open the door. Opening the door showed enthusiasm, and mother shook the dog's paw and said, call brother. ? I don't know why my classmate had a seizure, so I shouted: Brother! ?

14、? Give me your most valuable thing! ? Faced with the threat of robbers, my boyfriend pushed me out without saying anything. I didn't know whether to be moved or angry at that time.

15, moving bricks all day, tired like a dog. I finally climbed home and fell asleep. I moved bricks all night in my fucking dream, and I couldn't get up at all in the morning.

16. In the past, when my husband was watching TV and sleeping, he always liked to put his hand on my chest and rub it. After I got pregnant, I changed to touch my slowly bulging belly.

17, today's geography class, the teacher asked us, do you know what the wind power tower looks like? My second-class deskmate said in our local dialect: looks like you. I laughed at that time.

18, a workmate said, giggle, several people piled on top of each other. At the climax, the people at the bottom couldn't stand the backache and shouted, my waist, my waist, my waist! ? As a result, the people above heard me want me to want me to want me to want me. While buying butterflies, the action is bigger.

19, I haven't lost my role for a long time. I remember when I entered the factory, a colleague told me: You Cantonese are dirty and have to take a bath every day. We don't get dirty. We take a bath once a week. I am speechless!

20. The patient in the ward with his best friend is funny and sad. No sooner had he finished chemotherapy than the doctor prescribed antiemetic drugs for him. Then it changed to diarrhea, and the doctor prescribed antidiarrheal drugs. Then I changed my insomnia and the doctor prescribed sleeping pills. Then the headache changed, and the doctor said helplessly that you should not take any medicine.

2 1. I met my brother in the canteen today and wanted to swipe my sister's card, but she wouldn't let me. I immediately took my sister's meal card back and broke it, leaving silently, hiding my merits and demerits and reputation. Come on, junior! Senior can only help you here!

22. A beautiful 25-year-old girl married a 60-year-old man. On the night of the wedding, the old man held out three fingers to the girl, and the girl said, Wow, three times tonight? The old man said: Which finger did you choose?

23. One of Einstein's girlfriends called him. Finally, Einstein was asked to write down her telephone number so that she could call later. ? My phone number is very long and difficult to remember. ? Go ahead, I'm listening. ? Einstein didn't pick up the pen. ? 2436 1。 ? What's hard to remember? Einstein said,? I remember 24 and 19 squared. ?

24. Sister-in-law is a nurse and works in a drugstore. Once an acquaintance of the boss came over and said, do you have that medicine? The drugstore owner gave a box of sex drugs. The next day, the guest came over and asked: Why do you feel hot and blush after taking the medicine for prostatitis?

25. A friend is waiting for the bus by the roadside. When the bus came, he found his legs numb and limped to the ground. On the bus, a little girl insisted on sitting down, but her buddy was introverted and embarrassed. She sat down when so many people argued. Soon I arrived at the station and found my leg healed, but the little girl sitting there was still there. Can't face it, my buddy is limping down again?

26. The girl's father:? I have raised her for 20 years, why should I marry her to you! ? Young man:? You only raised her for 20 years. I will continue to support her for 40 years, and I will support you for 30 years. Why don't you marry her to me? ! ?

27, boyfriend and girlfriend quarrel, girlfriend said to her boyfriend: I admit that I was wrong first, and then you are saying that I am right, okay? The boyfriend agreed. Girlfriend said:? I was wrong. ? The boyfriend said:? You are absolutely right! ?

28. Yesterday afternoon, I rode my scooter on the road without scruple. I was stopped by a traffic policeman at an intersection and asked me to show my driver's license. This is the rhythm of car impounding. When I took out my certificate and handed it to the police, I obviously saw his slightly disappointed expression.

29. The other day, I came to Foshan to play. My friend drank wine, but I didn't. He asked me to drive. Because the road is unfamiliar, I always ask him whether to turn left or right. I don't know if he was tired of asking, and he didn't say much, so I thought I'd just leave without saying anything. After two red and green, I want to ask now! He said please go straight when you hear the next sound, but I have my own navigation.

30. A lady checked in at a hotel. After a while, the phone rang and she answered it. A man's voice: Do beautiful women need service? Ma 'am, you're ready to hang up. The man quickly said, You will be back in less than an hour, 200 yuan. The lady thought, I still don't believe it. Let's go The man came for more than ten minutes, gave 200 yuan and left. The lady looked straight at wait for a while and thought for a long time.

Routine boyfriend's warm-hearted joke 1, the phone was stolen. I decisively sent a short message on my friend's mobile phone: Brother, I'm going back to my hometown for a few days, so I won't send you the 30 thousand yuan. Don't hurry to come, just put it in the mailbox of the new apartment, address: XX apartment, X box in X building. The mailbox key is taped to the bottom of the mailbox, taken away and then glued back. Then the person who stole the mobile phone was caught alive!

My husband did everything. One day, I had nothing to do to drive them to work in the countryside. Most of them are old people and old ladies. I got bored and asked, Aunt, you follow the fashion and play the Internet! The old lady answered me: no, I will play at home when I have installed my grandson. At that time, I didn't know what it was like

The child was called a stupid bird by his parents because of his poor grades. The child said unconvinced that there are three kinds of stupid birds in the world, one is flying first, and the other is too tired to fly. Parents asked: What about the third one? The child said: this kind of thing is the most annoying. If you can't fly, you will lay eggs in the nest and ask the next generation to fly hard.

I just knew a few words when I was a child, and I went shopping with my mother when I was a child. When I was a child, I saw a roasted seeds and nuts shop in Shanghai and said loudly to my mother: Mom ~ Look ~ Shanghai slut ~ I was so cute when I was a child, but I suffered from my parents who were so embarrassed at that time!

5, make money sporadic light rain, spend money goose feather heavy snow. Eyes full of beautiful things, pockets empty. Bite your teeth, stamp your feet, cover your wallet and run. I wish my friends a smooth career, rolling financial resources, endless money and hand cramps.

6. There was a sudden power failure in the morning. My mother asked me to go to the property to see if my card is in arrears. I stayed under the covers, took out my cell phone and turned on Wi-Fi. The list is empty. ? Mom, has the neighborhood stopped? Turn over and go back to sleep.

7. Before going to bed, I spend two minutes satisfying my daughter-in-law, and I will spend another minute and a half on her stomach. Before coming down, she asked me if we were harmonious. I thought the same thing.

8. Wake up in the afternoon and feel a little thirsty. I took a cup, opened the lid and took a few sips. Suddenly I saw a dead fly at the bottom of the cup, and the whole person was not well, and the lid was screwed. How did you die inside? Look carefully and touch with your hands. It turned out that at the bottom of the bottle, they were all dead long ago, just like the cup pressing it.

9. Today, an unmarried colleague joked with another married colleague that he had no place at home, cleaning, doing housework and looking after the children. I said in my heart, which married man has no history of blood and tears in his heart! Nowadays, young people are even more difficult. It is very likely that they just jumped out of the Longtan of forced marriage and plunged into the daughter-in-law's nest!

10, just started school, there are weeds outside the classroom. The old class asked us to pull weeds, and we listened. When we were outside, we talked and played while pulling weeds. At this time, we saw the old class, desperately pulling weeds. The old class slowly came to supervise the work and watched us work while smoking. At this time, we only heard the old class say? With such a high ass, I didn't work hard. ?

1 1, I just heard from my colleague last night that there was no guardrail on the balcony on the second floor of her old house and her dog was wandering on the second floor. When she saw a bird, she ran to catch it, and the bird flew away! It instantly forgot that it was just a dog, and it also flew and successfully broke through.

12, it was cold and I got up late. I bought a cup of porridge and got on the bus soon. Then a girl came and sat behind me. I took a sip of porridge, she took another sip of porridge, and she took another sip of snot. Sister, can I have breakfast without dubbing?

13, brought an old towel from home that had not been used for half a year to the company to clean the table. When washing on the toilet sink, half a basin of water turned yellow.

A woman is discussing with her husband. I want to put a statue of a master musician on the piano. Mozart, Beethoven and Liszt, who do you think is the most suitable? The husband replied:? Beethoven, of course. ? She asked happily:? Why? Husband:? Because he is deaf. ?

15. A young man was found pulling a girl's long hair in a shopping mall and called the police. The policeman asked you why you did it. The young man said: Recently, some friends from my hometown came to see me. I put some long hair on the bed, and my friends saw that I was doing well.

16, a sister's signature: I have been a monkey for more than 20 years and haven't met a master yet. Maybe I really am not the best material! I replied: Now that I have a golden hoop, do I still need a master?

17, a group of tadpoles have been holding back for a long time, trying to grow up as soon as possible. One day, there was a sudden movement outside, and the tadpoles ran wildly outside. Just then, the old tadpole running in front shouted, Brothers, run back quickly. We have been cheated. This son of a bitch is kicking himself.

18, hyperosteogeny needs to be X-rayed at the waist. Nurse mm came and asked me to stand by and watch the machine, and then it was just the two of us in the room. MM whispered, Take off your pants! I was shocked. It's a good thing I wore boxers today, or that pile of hair scared you to death.

19, my cousin likes a girl from the school next door. After a month of observation, she finally scraped the girl by riding an electric car, and then sent her to school again in the name of the perpetrator! Finally, I actually lived in someone else's house on the grounds of taking care of their daily lives!

20. I remember when I was a child, there was a kind of earth wall in the village. My friends all kicked it with their feet, and it was crumbling. At that time, I saw too many ironworkers and directly hit my head. As a result, the wall fell down and people woke up in the hospital!

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