Humorous jokes that killed hundreds of thousands of people

Humorous jokes that have killed hundreds of thousands of people

People who can tell jokes are people with a sense of humor. People with a sense of humor are more likely to suffer from depression. In order to reduce the number, let’s take a look at the humorous jokes that made hundreds of thousands of people laugh to death and see your humor index!

The humorous jokes that made hundreds of thousands of people laugh to death 1

1. We have a son and a daughter. He goes to kindergarten and his son is relatively introverted and is always bullied. My daughter immediately went to "retaliate". One day, the teacher asked me to go to the kindergarten and said that her daughter beat a boy. When I arrived, the teacher said, "Your daughter is too powerful. She beats other boys. When they hit back, she cried and hid in the girls' toilet. No." When I came out, I asked those boys to kneel down before they came out. I went and saw that they were kneeling in a row!

2. There was an oil stain on the floor of our department room at some point, but it was never removed. It was clean. The boss asked me to clean it today. The female colleague found some dish soap and sprinkled it on it, then used a mop to mop it. Finally, it was clean. She shouted excitedly: Boss, look, look, I’ve mopped it all? I’ve mopped it all. .

3. Two men discuss salary together. A: The monthly salary is 10,500, but only 500 is received.

B: It’s good to have money. To me, salary is just a text message.

4. On a long-distance bus, I suddenly heard a woman say anxiously: My son wants to pee, who has an empty bottle, please lend it to me!

I saw no one said anything, so I Put most of the bottle of drink in your hand to your mouth, raise your head and drink it all in one gulp, and then hand the bottle to her?

More than twenty minutes later, I asked the driver with a painful look on his face: Master, we are almost there Are you in the service area?

Me? I can’t hold it in anymore! Two humorous jokes that made hundreds of thousands of people laugh to death

1. Dear doctors

Recently , medical troubles often injure doctors. In order to ensure the personal safety of doctors, we are hereby notified as follows

First, all doctors are asked to consciously purchase accident insurance, with a limit of at least one million. Those without insurance will be transferred to away from work.

Second, during work, attending physicians can carry self-defense weapons such as kitchen knives and axes, and nurses must wear bulletproof vests.

Third, please keep smiling during work. If a medical accident occurs during work, please abscond (before absconding, please write a certificate that has nothing to do with the hospital).

Fourth, don’t accept red envelopes from patients who are unsure, and don’t accept kickbacks from medical representatives whose origins are unknown (pay special attention to those from Putian!)

2. A certain The boys in the dormitory were smoking, and the teacher was attracted by the smell of smoke and asked: What are you doing!?

The boys were quick to think: Oh, I don’t have money to buy mosquito coils, so I smoked two sticks of incense to ward off the mosquitoes. ?

The teacher shrugged his nose, took a few serious breaths, and then became furious: "I don’t have money to buy mosquito coils! Where did I get the money to buy Soft China?

3. Dad and The mother had a disagreement about her child's education, so they called a family meeting.

Dad: I think it is very important for children to study, but playing is also good for them. Children who only know how to study will have no future when they grow up. ?

Mom: The child must study. What’s the use of playing all day long! Focus on studying so that you can get into a good university. ?

Child: ?Wow

Dad: ?Why is the child crying? ?

Mom: ?Oh, it’s time to breastfeed. ? Three humorous jokes that made hundreds of thousands of people laugh to death

1. Xu Xian took White Snake to travel to the south. At a tourist attraction, a stall owner stopped the couple.

Stall owner: "Two guests, please sit down and have something to eat!"

Xu Xian: "What are the specialties in your shop?"

Stall owner: The specialty of our shop is snake soup. Do you want to try it?

Xu Xian: Shhhhhhhhhh, stop talking, aren’t you afraid?

Stallowner:? What are you afraid of? If you want to take a big supplement, I have snake gall here. If you want to listen to music, I have an erhu made of snake skin!?

Bai Suzhen was furious and the stall owner died!

2. The actress came to the director's room, took off her coat, and exposed her plump breasts.

Actress: Director, thank you for the role you assigned me in this play. I understand the unspoken rules. , come on!?

Director: ?No, no, the main thing is that your temperament and appearance are suitable for this role, I have no other intentions!?

Actress: ?Director~~ Don’t be embarrassed, come on!?

Director: ?You? Put your clothes on quickly, otherwise the role of Aunt Rong will not be given to you!?

3. I just read a paragraph online and thought it made sense, so I read it out: "Expensive things are good except that they are expensive; cheap things are bad except that they are cheap." ?

My wife gave me a slap in the face after hearing this: What do you mean, when I asked you to ask for a gift, was it too small? ;