How to reply to being woken up

That day you held that thing and shook it up and down, telling you to be gentler and not too fierce, but you just didn’t listen, and the spray made me sticky and wet... I told you to open the champagne a long time ago Can you squirt?

Are you secretly missing me? Are you really secretly thinking about me? If you really miss me, just tell me, I won’t let you miss me, everyone is reasonable, I miss you too

There is something I have always wanted to say to you, but you know Once its weight is revealed, we may not even be friends, but I can’t control my feelings... When will you treat me to dinner?

Urgent reminder: Look to your left, and look again to your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who has just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with his mobile phone.

Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Please go to the People's Bank of China with your saber, shotgun, and cannon at 10 o'clock tonight to collect your prize.

The lady’s four major wishes: wealthy people come to the karaoke bar, countless tips, there is no AIDS in the world, and men can ejaculate in just two strokes.

If you don’t pick up a girl, you are a treasonous person. If you see a girl, you will do it for heaven’s sake. The breasts are high and the more you touch them, the more sexy you get. Your waist is slender and you have special skills. Your body is small and endless.

Chief :Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, chief! The commander patted a soldier on the chest and said: How well these muscles have been trained! Soldier: Report to the leader, I am a female soldier

"Is it tight?" "Not tight!" "Can you go in a little further?" "Be careful, it should be OK!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt. ! It feels so good! Just buy this pair.”

I thought, I felt itchy on both pieces, so I took a stick and inserted it in the middle. The stick was short, and I felt it was gone. I don’t want to think about it anymore... I’m addicted to cigarettes again

A man is not bad, but a bit perverted; a man who is not coquettish is a idiot. If a man is not attentive, he definitely has nerves; if a man is not a gangster, his development is abnormal.

The king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said: "There is another pig?" The minister said: "There is another person who is reading the text message"! whee! !

Don’t move! robbery! All hands up! The man stands on the left and the woman stands on the right. The pervert is standing in the middle, saying you are still reading text messages!

I fell in love with you at first sight. I wanted to date you without saying a word. I came to you three times and four times. I gave you five roses. I wanted to see you all the time. I was obsessed with you for nine days and nine nights. I am so happy with you that I will throw you away in ten days

I dreamed of you last night: we were walking by the river, clinging to each other. You raised your head and stared into my eyes, and uttered three words affectionately... woof woof woof

First-class men have homes outside their homes, second-class men have flowers outside their homes, third-class men find homes among flowers, and fourth-class men have homes outside their homes. When a man comes home from work, the wife of the fifth-class man is not at home, and the sixth-class man has no wife and home.

The men's and women's toilets in the school are adjacent to each other. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet. She was at a loss when suddenly toilet paper came from next door. The girl's face turned pale and asked: "Who is it?" A deep and powerful voice said The male voice replied: "Lei Feng!"

A woman went to an Arab restaurant to dine and saw that anyone with a beard did not have to pay for the meal. Suspicious, the boss said: Anyone with a beard is a police officer. The woman then lifted up her skirt and said: I am the secret police.

To be passionate is stupid, to be ruthless is the coolest, to be infatuated is stupid, to be ruthless is to be sophisticated. Loving only one is a bit silly, but falling in love with two is the minimum. Three or five is just right, and ten or eight is cool.

Meeting you is accidental, liking you is natural, falling in love with you is resolute, getting you is joyful, and staying with you for life is inevitable.

Cricket and Centipede got married. The next day, Cricket said grumblingly: It’s not okay to break one of the fucking legs, it’s not okay to break another one, and it’s not enough to break another leg. It’s not enough to break the legs all night long!

A village woman was carrying a basket of eggs. She met some burly men on the road. They gang-raped her and then ran away. The peasant woman got up and patted the dust: What a big deal, I thought I was robbing the eggs!

A woman blushes five times in her life: the first time; the first time with her husband; the first time with someone other than her husband; the first time she receives money; the first time she pays. time.

After I rubbed the magic lamp three times, the lamp god asked me what wish I wanted to make? I said: I want you to help me take care of the person who is reading the text message, and bless that person to be safe and happy forever

A bachelor takes his wife. When they were having sex, the stickman said: One gun has two bullets, and he has not participated in the war for 27 years. The wife was not convinced after hearing this: a temple with two doors, no one has entered in 31 years 7633

Little Pig cried sadly.

Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

The first time was so difficult: lying on the bed, enduring the hard insertion of the rod into the body, it really hurt, but after it was fully inserted, it didn’t hurt so much, and I was quite excited... Donating blood is an honor.

I was very nervous the first time. He kept asking me to relax gently, and then inserted into my body. There was bleeding there. I was so painful that I couldn’t cry out. Then I realized... this is what blood donation is like.

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; if there is no water, the fish cannot swim; if there is no sun, the moon will not have light; if there is no you... stupid people will not exist.

If your mobile phone is not waterproof, be careful not to laugh so much that you drool on the phone when reading text messages, otherwise it will break!

The little white pig is amazing, it sleeps every day At ten o'clock, seeing the snowflakes floating in the sky, I was so happy that I rolled around and lost my breath. Where is the little pig? Looking through text messages.

Everyone wakes up and I am drunk alone. The most precious thing is to have a clear understanding. I will never regret meeting true love, and I will only be with you in this life (the secret is in the fifth word of each sentence)

If you are sad, please tell me and I will help you bear it! If you are happy, you will infect me! If you shed tears, my face will always be wet; if you are sad, my heart will always be bitter.

Warning: Hello! Because your mobile phone has an ugly appearance and outdated style, which has seriously affected the city's appearance, we decided to send a signal to destroy the phone.

Twenty is a semi-finished product for a man, thirty is a finished product, forty is a fine product, fifty is the best, sixty is a top grade product, seventy is a waste product, and eighty is a souvenir.

Couplet in a certain public restroom: All the heroes in the world bow their heads and bend their knees; all the virgins and chaste women in the world take off their belted skirts when they come in; horizontal comment: The world is righteous

The groom, Dumb, doesn’t understand the affairs between men and women. . The father said: Just use the hardest thing on your body to hit your wife where she pees! Early the next morning, my father found Dumb lying next to the toilet with a broken head and blood!

The girl bought a banana, put it in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached back to grab it from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her on the shoulder: Miss, please let go, I'm getting out of the car

A zero score on an exam is called a duck egg, a bad thing is called a bad guy, an empty head is called a fool, and someone who gets fired is called "get out" , calling people bastards, calling them bastards, alas, the person reading the text message is an idiot

Don’t let me down, I receive messages every day!

Looking at your streamlined body, I was so horny that I opened your unopened cover, inserted my own stick, and sucked in your crystal liquid. It felt so good! Sprite

The most eye-catching brother - Viagra; the youngest grandmother - the second wife; the most difficult theft to guard against - cheating; the busiest corridor - hair salon; the best-selling book - female Secretary

Loving someone means that when you pick up the phone, you suddenly don’t know what to say. It turns out that you want to hear that familiar voice, but what you really want to unplug is just a string in your heart

< p>May you be happy every day 365 days a year, happy every moment for 8760 hours, wonderful every minute for 5256000 minutes, and happy every second for 31536000 seconds.

A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs. The veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, then plucked up the courage and said, "Okay, okay, I'm just afraid it will bite me."

I wish you a prosperous career in the new year, a body as strong as a tiger, endless money, no hard work, a leisurely life like a mouse, a romance like a musical score, and happiness that belongs to you.

Men are lustful and heroic. The woman is coquettish and has noble sentiments. Men are not sexy, it’s just a pretense. Women are not coquettish and their class is not high.

Comrade Lao Jiao went abroad for the first time. When he passed the customs, the customs officer asked: Is your surname Jiao? Lao Jiao thought about it and finally answered in a very firm tone: Sexual intercourse, about twice a week!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? You don’t know? By the way, the pig doesn’t know either! Haha! !

Guess the riddle: eunuchs had it before but not after entering the palace; monks had it but don't use it. Foreigners have it longer than Chinese people. Hit something on someone's body? You got it wrong--it's a name!

A certain woman tells fortunes.

Fortune teller: Miss, please be careful these days! Because you carry a bad omen! Woman: Would it be better if I took off my bra?

My love for you will never regret, my love for you will never fade away, I miss you so much that I can’t sleep, and I have forgotten you. Can't learn, a little pig is intoxicated with the mobile phone!

Please call 110 toll-free and you will win a 15-day value-for-money tour with meals and accommodation, and a special car pick-up will be arranged. The top ten will receive a photo at the detention center and a fist and foot massage for thousands of people.

I was born to be useful, but I can’t understand it! One day, the emperor asked him in a dream that after getting up at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, he would understand after eating the cake (try reading the third word of each sentence and you will be surprised)

The people who make furniture are wood, and those who understand poetry are scholars. What everyone thinks about is money, what they want is talent, what women want is body, who sends messages is a genius, and whoever is reading the message is a fool!

Touch your head, so gentle; touch your face, so on point; touch your waist, so coquettish; touch your hands, follow me; touch your back, Sleep with me!

I heard that there was a pig that could imitate people, so I ran to see it, but I didn’t believe what I saw: the pig was actually holding a mobile phone and reading text messages like a human!

Whether it is sunny, cloudy, or rainy, the day I can see you is a sunny day; whether it is yesterday, today, or tomorrow, the day I can be with you is a beautiful day.

Love has been in arrears, love has been shut down, fate is not in the service area; thinking about it is painful, thinking about it is sad, when will the payment be made and the phone will be turned on again? Hengpi: Dreams come true

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a fool. He was so stupid that he would just shake his head or answer "no" no matter what question he was asked. Have you heard of this story?

A monkey laughed so hard when he saw a man taking a bath that he fell off the tree. When asked why, he laughed and said: Humans are really strange animals. Look at their tails. They are so short. In the front, haha...

It should be Xiao Zhao to marry a wife, Linghu Chong to make friends, Qiao Feng to be a man, and Wei Xiaobao to go out for fun.

Brother, let me introduce you to a girlfriend: she has a noble temperament, a charming face, a charming figure, flowing long hair, and soft eyes... She is 80 years old this year

< p>Urgent notice: Polygamy will be restored from now on. Men who are still monogamous after two weeks will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months but not more than three years, and fined heavily.

The husband looked at his wife wearing a bra and said: You really don’t need to wear it, because there is nothing to put in it! My wife sneered and replied: Don’t you still wear underwear? Even though I bought the smallest size, it was too big.

When you read this message, I am thinking about you quietly in a corner of the world, wondering what you are doing, and whether you are thinking of me?

The greatest happiness in my life is to be able to hug you to sleep gently every night, and to be able to wake up with you every morning...

Loving you is the most important thing of my day. Important things, thinking about you is the happiest thing in my day, seeing you is the most enjoyable thing in my day, loving you and missing you is what I will do all my life

Zheng Xialian: Menstrual Belt The next line is: The condom was secretly put on me and I put it all over

A tadpole accidentally entered a woman's lower body while she was swimming, but she committed suicide soon after and left a suicide note: Since I entered this cave, I have been beaten with sticks every day, and also beaten by the same kind...

The current situation of virgins: accidentally damaging a group of themselves, criminals destroying a group, and emotional scammers deceiving a group of virgins. A group of people went bankrupt through legal procedures, and a group of people stayed behind after seeing through the world of mortals.

A man mistakenly entered the women's restroom after being drunk and a woman urinated. Hearing the sound, he mistakenly poured wine and became angry: "I told you not to drink, who is pouring wine? The girl was afraid that she would hold back a fart when she wanted to leave, and the king was even more angry: If he said he wouldn't drink, he wouldn't drink, so who opened another bottle?

Break the life-long system of the wife and implement the shareholding system of the aunt. Introduce the young lady competition system and promote the lover contract system.

Someone farted on the bus. A charming woman spat, "Bah - bah - bah -".

A man said: What, you eat farts and spit out the shells? !

I am giving you the heaviest poop gift since I had poop. You will definitely eat a pound of it, and you will need more. If you feel that the poop volume is not enough, please help yourself!

Please stop reading and turn off your phone. There is really nothing interesting to see. Please, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, you asked for it - you're a pig!

I spend my days like this: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tyson, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting about scandals with Clinton, blowing up buildings with Bin Laden, and giving hair to pigs. SMS

Welcome to the Beauty City escort station. Please press 1 to find local girls, press 2 to find Asian girls, press 3 to find Western girls, and press down for gays... Welcome , Comrade

Instructions for jumping from a building: Go to the seventh floor if you are happy, go to the sixth floor to gasp, go to the fifth floor if you struggle, go to the fourth floor if you are disabled, go to the third floor if you are hospitalized, go to the second floor if you are scared, go to the first floor to watch the fun.

Who has no shit in life, and who does not use paper for defecation? If you don't use toilet paper, you must use your fingers!

That day I quietly looked at your sexy body, twisting naked in front of me, gently caressing your skin. I couldn't resist your temptation. I said: "Boss, I want this." Fish"

That day you slashed a pig wildly with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end. The pig knelt down and begged you for mercy: "We are born from the same root, so why rush to fry each other?"

I fall in love at first sight, and then I am infatuated again. I spend all my time trying to win my heart, and I work hard and think about it. Don’t you understand my heart?

The three mice tasted wine from the United States, Japan and China. The American drinker took three steps and fell down. The Japanese drinker fell down after two steps. The Chinese Erguotou drinker picked up a kitchen knife and shouted "Fuck the cat" "

The boss didn't know that the zipper of the front door was open. The female secretary reminded: Your garage door is open. The boss was puzzled: Have you seen my BMW? Female secretary: No, there are only two broken tires

Your lover is a crocodile, he may swallow you up at any time; your secretary is a turtle, it is delicious but you cannot taste it every day; your sister-in-law is a goldfish, you can see but not eat; your wife is a salted fish. , it will be fine no matter how long you leave it.

Men watch at twenty, night at thirty, week at forty, month at fifty, year at sixty, touch at seventy, hug at eighty, Think about it ninety times, smile a hundred times!

I have eyes but I can’t see you at all times, I have ears but I can’t hear your voice at all times, I have hands but I can’t hold you at all times, but I have a heart that can miss you at any time

< p>If the world only has 10 minutes left, I will hug you tightly for 600 seconds; if the world only has 3 minutes left, I will give you a 180-second kiss; if the world has only 1 minute left, I will say I love you 60 times You

Late night, walking alone on the desolate street, with a lonely heart and nowhere to turn to, I am always thinking of you, thinking about you, looking forward to you, and really want to say to you loudly... please Can I eat?

The four ideals of men: money is falling from the sky, and all the beautiful men in the world are dying. The beauty was so brainbroken that she cried and shouted for me to soak her.

Urgent reminder: Tomorrow at 9 o'clock in the morning, a tornado will appear in the southeast of the city. It is expected that mobile phones, banknotes, gold coins and other money and objects will fall at that time. Please be prepared to make a fortune

The longer the wine lasts, the mellower it becomes, the longer the friendship lasts and the truer it becomes; the longer the water flows, the clearer it becomes, and the vicissitudes of the world become weaker and weaker as it flows. Be happy every day and be in a good mood all the time!

In order to get your delicious juice and flesh, I put my mouth close to your hole, sucked it constantly, and licked it fiercely with my tongue... Soju snails taste so good

A certain father and goddaughter: When someone assaults someone, they say no, but when someone assaults someone, they say stop. One day, his daughter was assaulted from both sides at the same time, and she shouted: "Don't stop!"

You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the leather shoes and I am the brush, you are the gourd and I am the melon, you are the steak and I am the fork, and I pierce it! I'll pierce it! I'll pierce it!

Closing the left eye means teasing, closing the right eye means consent, and closing both eyes means doing whatever you like.

/p>

10% persistence + 10% yearning + 10% jealousy + 10% suspicion + 10% sweetness + 10% distress + 10% happiness + 10% jealousy + 10% blush + 10% coquettishness = 100% love< /p>

News just announced: Starting from 0:00 tomorrow morning, China Mobile’s mobile phones will begin to implement individual charges. From now on, receiving calls on mobile phones will be free! China Unicom will also follow suit in the near future.

Riddle: There are no birds flying by the swan lake, but there is no good reason for a couple to walk together. The two trees are connected by the heart of the forest. If you have no intention, you will fly away first (type four words)... Answer: I miss you very much

When I get up, I think of your smile, and when I wash my face, I smell your scent. You are my need before going to bed, I really can't forget you...my dear toilet!

Do you like me? If you like me, just press it. If you press it again, you really like me! I pressed it after I said I liked it. Still click! I didn’t expect you to like me so much, I’m so touched! Press again! I like you too

How many times have I told you to be careful and don’t go out at night, but you just don’t listen. No, it came into my dream again last night and hurt me. Don't want to wake up!

I want to see you, let me gaze into your eyes. I want to hug you and let me warm your body. I want to kiss you and let me burn your lips. I want to love you and make me unforgettable to you.

You should take good care of yourself, don’t have a runny nose when you catch a cold, and occasionally sneeze a few times, that means I am thinking of you

Read the following words, you You will get a job with a monthly salary of 2,000,000. The test questions are as follows:

There are three types of men who cannot be married: newspaper editors - who need to publish articles every day; newspaper delivery men - who leave the newspaper at the door and leave; water and electricity meter readers - who only come once a month

Your gun is always too soft, your gun is too soft, you are alone until dawn, doing things is always simple, climax is too difficult, your body is not good, so don’t force it...

Part 1: I love The person's name and the flower have its owner; the second line: the person who loves me is miserable; the horizontal comment: life is bitter

Seeing your smile is the happiest thing in the world, seeing your tears is the most memorable thing in the world, seeing your anger is... The most unforgettable thing in the world, but not being able to see your message is the most pitiful thing in the world!

The wife is boring, the lover is too tired, and the lady is too expensive. It is better to hold a class reunion and break up the couple.

There is a kind of tacit understanding called heart-to-heart connection, a kind of feeling called indescribable, a kind of happiness called having you by your side, and a kind of missing you called living like a year

The trains were very crowded during the Spring Festival travel season. Put your butt out of the window to poop while parking. The inspector under the car noticed and yelled: Fat man holding a cigar, put your head back

I wish you lots of money, hair like a fat pig, a great body, as strong as a bear, sweet love and beauty. Like a bee; good luck comes one after another, as abundant as ox hair; career is booming, flying higher and higher like a roc

A thunder in the middle of the night woke up Bush, shouting: "Quick, turn on the light!" The bodyguard lit it knowingly Candle. Bush looked at the heavy rain outside the window, sighed and said: "Afghanistan."

The young literary woman wrote an article and asked the professor for advice. Professor: There are two prominent points in the first half of this article, which is relatively plump; the middle is mediocre; and the lower half is more frizzy, and it requires a lot of work!

Mary: Mom, I know why Dad’s belly is so big! Mom: Why? Mary: Because every morning I see the maid blowing hard on the tube under daddy’s belly.

If you don’t fart, it will hurt your heart; if you don’t fart, squeeze hard and exercise; if I fart, please pay attention; when the fart sounds, everyone applauds

You are so cute—— It's a pity that no one loves you. You are really good-looking - it's really not your fault that you look like this. You are a genius - a born idiot. You have great temperament - stingy and neurotic

Free on mobile Answering secrets: When there is an incoming call, press F, R, E, E and then the tic-tac-toe key before the third ring. You can make a free call. Please keep it confidential.

Men are all playboys. They fall in love with beautiful women when they see them. They use sweet words to deceive people. Once they fall in love with her, they become evil-hearted. They change their minds after they go to bed. They are so fucking heartless

The thief is here. I found that the safe was all filled with jelly and I ate it all in a fit of rage.

The next day the newspaper published a headline: Yesterday the sperm bank was stolen and the sperm was ransacked...

One day, 0 and 8 met on the street. 0 looked at 8 with disdain and said: Fat is just fat. , what kind of belt should I wear?

A woman was asked: Is she a virgin? The woman answered: Say yes, I have given birth to a child; say no, I am not married yet. Let's just call him a "deputy deputy".

Riddle: A night of flowers and candles in the bridal chamber. (Guess the names of the five characters from Water Margin) Answer: Lin Chong, Shi Jin, Song Jiang, Ruan Xiaoer, Wu Yong.

One day I was a guest at the home of a beautiful lady. When I left, I asked her what time it was, and she took off all her clothes and showed me... Oh, it turned out to be three o'clock< /p>

What do men most desire from women? (I want it). What is the thing that men fear most from women? (I still want it)

It’s not easy to say I love you, so I sent a text message to express my feelings. If your heart is filled with ripples, can you take a short breather?

The female secretary discovered that the manager’s pants were not zipped up. "Manager, your garage door is not closed." "Did you see the car?" "I didn't see the car, but I saw the license plate number is 010."

The stars are shining tonight, where are you? romantic? If you have any conscience, please come and treat me to dinner!

The lineup for a certain competition in Japan: the male contestants include Kamito Masao and One Night Five, and the female contestants include Umekawa Kuko and Mijun Tokuko. The referee is South Korean social and economic giant Park Sung-sung

Someone cares about you, someone protects you, someone cares about you, someone wants you to be happy, someone can't sleep all night long and misses you, he is the one who sends you text messages.

Donor: The color of the underwear you are wearing today is ominous and unlucky, so I hope you will take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to keep yourself safe. Good, good, good

Male: Why am I always so wrong! Woman: I’ll help you with my hands. Look, isn’t this aligned? Okay, I'm clamping it tight, just try harder! I'm thinking wrong again, people are cheering me up

The sea is full of water! What a horse! It has four legs! Chili pepper, it’s so spicy! You fool who reads text messages, he’s grinning!

A farmer raised a pen of pigs. One day he discovered that one pig was missing. After searching for a long time, he couldn't find it. Finally, he finally found that the pig was hiding in the corner and reading text messages on his mobile phone!

If you love me, you kiss me. If you don’t love me, I will kiss you, okay~~~

We have taken a video of your one-night stand , if you don’t want your wife to know, please prepare 100,000 yuan in cash for redemption within seven days, otherwise...

I met you by chance/I was at a loss in panic/Your pair of loving eyes eyes/I can’t avoid/understand your heart/I tried my best to avoid/but you followed closely/I cried/whose dog is this?

A man hired a prostitute without asking the price. Rush into battle. After entering, the prostitute offered "50 for entry, 50 for exit, and 500 for cum". After listening to this, the man didn't move and asked why. He replied: I only brought 50, which is just enough to come in.

It's not that I miss you because I'm lonely, but I'm lonely because I miss you. The reason why the feeling of loneliness is so heavy is just because I think too deeply.

Sexual harassment occurs everywhere. There was a sound of bed boards at night, and the girl turned into a sister-in-law.

I haven’t seen you for a day and I want to see you/My eyes are straight and I have no strength/I picked up the phone three times/My limbs are cold and sweaty/My internal organs are sighing/I blame myself for all the talk/I have an idea over time/Before ten o’clock I'm waiting for you

The little turtle was looking in the mirror, and suddenly found that the mirror was full of words, and then he remembered: Oh! Turns out I mistakenly used my phone as a mirror!

The lady's body is segmented, the head is free, the breasts are tipped, the lower half, don't touch it...it's very expensive!

The first time I saw you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life, I want to pursue you and embrace you. I want to declare: I love you...RMB

The flash of you makes my blood boil and my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you. I tell myself that I can’t let you go again. If you leave, you will never...catch the thief!

A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she quickly said to the man: Comrade, you dropped your cigarette! The man was furious: You just castrated me!

The four great tragedies in life: a drop of sweet rain after a long drought; meeting an old friend in a foreign land, a creditor; the night of flowers and candles in the wedding room, next door; and dreaming when nominated for the gold medal.

The manager met the cleaning lady cleaning the elevator. Female worker: Manager, you fuck me first and then I drag you down.

Manager: It’s better if you drag me first and then get on. After several shirks, the manager said: You better drag me along!

Buddha said: It took five hundred times of looking back in the past life to pass me by in this life. If this is really the case, I would trade ten thousand times to meet you.

Someone said that you are a stupid donkey. I criticized him seriously: How outrageous! You can't just tell someone what they look like

A glass of wine will fuel your lustful thoughts, and sparks will fly out of your eyes. You can't stop yourself from the cliff, so you can hold her in your arms. The cuddles didn't stop the slander, they only made trouble in bed. When she was exhausted, she said I want more!

A man and a woman are having an affair. When the male companion touched the woman's private parts with his hand, she breathed quickly and said: Ah! It feels so comfortable...but your ring hurts me. Man: Hello! That's my watch...

A man and a woman were having a one-night stand. The woman suddenly got out of bed and ran to the kitchen, grabbed a handful of rice and sprinkled it on the man's private parts: Humph! Go and raise the chickens bigger before you come back.

A city as big as a palm, a door as wide as two fingers. The milkman went in, and the eggman knocked on the door outside.

I still can't understand your feelings. All I know is my true feeling, that is, I like you so much!

A new overseas travel route - a seven-day tour of Afghanistan has been launched: live in a cave, learn bomb making and escape skills, and the lucky ones will have the opportunity to take a photo with Bin Laden

If the world only If there are only 10 minutes left in the world, I will recall the ups and downs we have gone through with you; if there are only 3 minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; if there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

Pain is best for others, happiness is your own; trouble will be temporary, friends are always eternal; love is managed with heart, there is no big deal in the world; wish you happiness

I miss your smile, your beauty, your noble temperament and charming taste. I can’t forget your tenderness in my memory!

/p>

The new five major intimate relationships: went to school together, went to the countryside, carried guns together, shared stolen goods collectively, and went to prostitutes together.

Tang Monk is assigning work under the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow the banana fan, and Wujing went to find water - Bajie, how come you still have time to read the text message?!"

Where is the end of the world? There is no good solution anywhere, so if you want to find it, look for it in your work unit. The quantity is not much, not to mention the quality is not good!

A new recruit practices lurking in a tree. Two squirrels climbed up along his trouser legs, and one of them said: Boss, here are two big walnuts, let's eat them

If you were a flower, I would be That cow dung; if you were the cow dung, I would like to be that fly. If you were a fly, I would like to be the egg with a crack. If you were the egg, I would like to be the tea.

I wish you that in the new year, you will get rich on the Marlboro Road, your career will reach the top of Hongta Mountain, your lover will be better than Ashima, and your wealth will spread all over Greater China.

I will only hold your hand in this life...

The sea is all fucking water, the spiders are all fucking legs, the peppers are so fucking spicy, I know you Oh, no fucking regrets. I wish you happiness and smile from ear to ear every day!

Secret: Wrap your mobile phone in rice dumpling leaves and boil it in a pot for 30 minutes. The battery standby time of your mobile phone will be doubled, the signal will be enhanced, and you can smell the fragrance of the rice dumplings when you make a call.

Dear user, your mobile phone number has won the first prize in our city’s online prize-winning event. The prize is 10,000 yuan. Please go to any bank with a pistol to collect it. Password: Do not touch it

Giving up what should be given up is helplessness; giving up what should not be given up is incompetence; not giving up, what should be given up is ignorance; not giving up, what should be given up is persistence, so I am persistent with you

You are Tree, I am the vine, I surround you; you are the lamp, I am the oil, I consume you; you are the cake, I am the pot, I burn you; you are the tea, I am the water, I soak you.

There is a feeling that has no beginning and no result, but it occupies me all the time, that is the feeling of missing you.