qq funny signature

1. If you love me, please raise your hands. If you don’t love me, please stand on your head.

2. Urination and defecation are prohibited here, and tools will be confiscated for violators.

3. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

4. Having breasts does not necessarily mean that the mother is rich.

5. Waving the flag of your virginity partner and doing it for free.

6. We will know what happens tomorrow.

7. Urinate when there is urine. Do not wait until there is no urine.

8. Getting up now depends not on perseverance, but on the urge to urinate.

9. No matter how deeply I love you, buying a diamond is the most noble thing.

10. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future.

11. Talking about money doesn’t hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.

12. Since ancient times, no one has ever died. He doesn’t need paper to poop!

13. You can’t find such a lantern even if you carry a mushroom! !

14. That person looks good, how can I put it? The pixels are relatively low!

15. You are not a VIP, not even a V, you are just a p.

16. If you believe it, believe it. If you don’t believe it, don’t believe it. Give it all to WeChat.

17. If you don’t become a householder, you don’t know how expensive firewood and rice are; if you don’t take pictures, you don’t know how fat you are.

18. Spring was not made by shouting, but by real swords and guns!

19. Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to the cow dung.

20. Do what you want to do. Otherwise, let the pigs talk nonsense.

21. I like the way you can’t stand me but can’t kill me.

22. Have you ever wanted to cry when you think of someone? Yes, creditor.

23. If I had known it was so difficult to find a girlfriend, I would have made an appointment with her.

24. If a man is not sexy, it is not his true nature; if a woman is not coquettish, she has no unique skills.

25. Today my mother asked me why I smoke, and I said I like to eat cigarette ashes!

26. If you are unhappy with me, I will give you a camera and take pictures wherever you like.

27. You are a good person and a bad person. You are honest with me just to run towards her.

28. Don’t make any promises to me in your life. I’m afraid I’m afraid you’ll be struck to death by lightning.

29. God gave me a task to ride a pig for a walk.

30. Superman always wears briefs to fly because the triangle has stability.

31. The physical education teacher said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt in my class will be punished by making her stand on her head!

32. We are all good students. If we don’t fall in love or elope, we will accompany you in the small speaker.

33. Computer, don’t be like this, let me go, I am a person with homework

34. Being mean is also an art, let us improve this art together Bar!

35. I’m sorry, miss, please move your breasts away from my hands, please?

36. Women are tools for making human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

37. Don’t eat from the bowl and worry about what’s in the pot. Eat directly from the pot and worry less.

38. I suggest that Japanese women be arrested and put in our men’s prisons.

39. Who do you think you are? You are just the water that is thrown away, I don’t even want a basin.

40. I didn’t say you were shameless, I meant that shameless people are like you.

41. It’s okay to scold you at ordinary times. Only when I beat you will you know that I am both civil and military.

42. Research shows that no matter what, people of the opposite sex have always liked each other.

43. The difference between you and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but sometimes you are not a human being.

44. I read books at ordinary times because I have a thirst for knowledge, and I read before exams because I have a desire to survive.

45. Go ahead and bask in the sun. Maybe if you get tanned, no one will call you an idiot.

46. I can’t find my tie again. Did you not find the rag yesterday?

47. I will not watch you jump into the fire pit, I will close my eyes.

48. I firmly believe that there will be a boy who came to this world to be tortured by me.

49. What is pleasure? Pleasure is when you eat fish, I eat meat, and watch others chew bones.

51. What is happiness? Happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, and watch others chew bones.

52. These days, I am embarrassed to tell people that school is on holiday without twenty or thirty papers in hand.

53. Not everyone can live a low-key life. The basis for being low-key is that you can be high-profile at any time.

54. Tencent’s input has given many people hope and disappointed many people.

55. If something cannot be retained, throw it as far away as possible. It may bounce back after hitting something.

56. The most blatant compliment is to describe a shrew’s behavior as a drunken concubine.

57. My dear, when will we get married? Baby, I will wait until you give birth to the child.

58. If cutting off your hair means cutting off memories, will it mean that if I cut my head bald, I will lose my memory?

59. The math teacher took us to swim in the sea of ??questions, but she landed ashore and we all drowned.

60. There have been countless moments when I thought that I would not be able to see the sun tomorrow, because it would be cloudy tomorrow.

61. If you look up often, you will grow taller. If you always keep your head down and take advantage of others, you will become hunched over.

62. If there are no internal forces but only external forces, the earth will look like a peeled egg to aliens. .

63. I recently read a book that teaches people how to forget, and I benefited a lot. I forgot the title of the book, and I didn’t remember the content.

64. What should you do if you encounter a snake in the wild? Don’t panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian

65. Being single is painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow a few days ago, and I thought it was pretty and beautiful.

66. My friend’s name on his girlfriend’s cell phone was him, and then they broke up and it became that

67. Doctor, what disease do I have? Paralysis above the neck, what kind of disease is that? Brainless.

68. Life is like this. When you are so beautiful that your heart is in full bloom and you can’t find it, you will stretch out your legs and trip you up.

69. A good wife will never ask her husband to buy her this or that; a good husband will never wait for his wife to ask before buying.

70. A model husband: Whether he is a model husband or not depends on his wife. My wife wants to eat cakes, but I love porridge. My wife glares and immediately stands against the wall.

71. Man, I’m so tired! I feel sleepy even standing up, my heart suffers from loving you, I have to pay taxes to get a salary at work, I have to queue up to eat after get off work, I suffer from living!

72. Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me if I wanted it cut into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? I thought about it and said: Let’s go with 8 yuan! 12 yuan is too much to finish!

73. The sign of an immature man is that he can sacrifice heroically for his ideals, while the sign of a mature man is that he can live humbly for his ideals.

74. When we believe that we are already very important to the world, in fact, the world is just ready to forgive our naivety.

75. The so-called beauty is 30% appearance and 70% grooming; the so-called temperament is 30% talent and 70% pretense; the so-called gentleness is 30% tolerance and 70% depression.

76. If there is an afterlife, I will be born on National Day and die on Qingming Festival. When I was born, the whole world celebrated. When I died, the whole world was grieving.

77. A successful man is able to earn more money than his wife spends, and a successful woman is able to find such a man.

78. I suddenly had the urge to learn, so I drank water to calm down. Okay, I'm calm now. I was too impulsive just now, but fortunately I have strong self-control.

79. Don’t be impatient when floods come. Try to avoid being in high places. When waiting for rescue, remember to stay calm and strong. When facing sudden problems, deal with them carefully and don’t be impatient

80. If you are rich, you pay the bills. If you are rich, you smoke. If you are rich, you drink. If you are rich, you walk the dog. Just look at it with your mobile phone, whoever forwards the information will be rich.

81. Everyone in high school is given a name badge. Before an inspection, the head teacher ran to the classroom and shouted loudly, everyone, put on your bras quickly, we are here for inspection. The whole room was silent

82. God said that measuring a person’s level is like filling a barrel with water. , the amount of water depends on the lowest piece of wood. However, God created this bucket like you to hold rice. QQ signature funny

1. My quilt is sick today, and I have to stay in bed to take care of her.

2. The longest relationship I have ever been in was narcissism. Love yourself and have no rival.

3. The world has its own way of heaven, then let the way of heaven take care of you!

4. It’s been a long time since I was a bitch, bitch. I heard that you have become a bitch in one?

5. Hang up a mosquito net and sleep naked inside to tease the mosquitoes and kill them.

6. I am not a bone and cannot be chased by every dog.

7. Old people cannot beat children, they cannot beat women, and they cannot beat men to death.

8. Close your eyes and imagine growing old together with you. Crying sadly.

9. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver.

10. A chicken practiced for a thousand years and finally became a chicken essence, which turned out to be chicken essence on people’s dinner tables.

11. It is said that long hair means short knowledge. Why are you, a bald man, so short of knowledge?

12. The winter vacation is only 20 days away! It takes 33 days to lose love these days.

13. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art.

14. Being a foodie is carefree, being a crazy person is worry-free.

15. I blame myself for being too young and not being able to distinguish between a human and a dog.

16. Life is like shit. Sometimes you work very hard, but what comes out is just shit.

17. The most dedicated thing in the world is homework. No matter how much you neglect it, it will still never leave you.

18. The sky leaves no traces of birds, but I have flown by!

19. I asked the old lady to put on red lips and give you some color.

20. When you grow up, you want to marry Tang Seng. If you can play with him, then eat him.

21. There must be a road in front of the mountain, and I can’t stop even if there is a road.

22. If you love me, put me in a wedding dress and then strip it naked with your own hands.

23. Buddha said: The sea of ??suffering is boundless, but when you turn around, you will reach the shore. I said: There is no shore, so where can I find a shore when I turn back?

24. If anyone uses a honey trap against me, I will take advantage of it.

25. My story is purely fictitious. If you encounter someone online, you are going to hell!

26. Men who come home early tell stories to their wives; men who come home late make up stories to their wives.

27. Learn Feng Shui when you have time. Having a good tomb after your death can make up for the regret of not being able to afford a good house during your lifetime.

28. If you play splitting, you won’t be afraid of your balls getting cold if you split them so wide!

29. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

30. It’s not that we fat people are too fat, but that you thin people are malnourished.

31. I’m sorry, miss, please move your breasts away from my hands, please?

32. If you ask me how deeply I love you, money can represent my heart.

33. It is said that a woman in love has an IQ of zero. Why is mine still negative?

34. Be a hooligan with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

35. Big head, thick neck, and moves like a pig!

36. Men are not bad, but women do not love them. Men are not gangsters and have abnormal development.

37. If the mandarin ducks play in the water, they will drown; if they fly together, they will fall to death!

38. The garden is filled with spring scenery and cannot be contained, so I lure the red apricots out of the wall.

39. Those who drink medicine are handed a bottle, those who hang themselves are given a rope, and those who jump off the building wave a small handkerchief to see them off.

40. Each of us is a dreamer. When the dream is gone, all that is left is homesickness.

41. I am not a genius because I have never worn Quesnel diapers.

42. When you were born, were you thrown up three times and only caught twice?

43. My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare.

44. Summer without watermelon is not a good summer.

45. Your teeth are like the stars in the sky, bright in color and far apart.

46. Women are tools for making human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

47. When I am strong, I will sweep away all the snacks in the supermarket!

48. Smoking is disobedient, so I smoke.

49. Go ahead and bask in the sun. Maybe if you get tanned, no one will call you an idiot.

50. We had a small disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

51. I never hold grudges. I usually avenge them on the spot.

52. Even Beckham doesn’t know, what qualifications do you have to dare to talk to me about basketball!

53. I am stupid, but I am happy. Me two, I'm healthy.

54. "Ten Years" sings the heartfelt wishes of every fat person: while wanting to lose weight, tears are shed at the same time

55. In Egypt, a man can marry four wives. How tiring that is, China is better.

56. Whether you are stupid or not depends on whether you can pretend to be stupid.

57. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

58. Teacher, if you continue to ignore the school bell, then we will ignore the school bell.

59. Beauty is heaven to the eyes, but hell to the pocket!

60. Master, when you put on this cassock, you will become my disciple.

61. When a woman pursues a man, there is a veil between them. Men chase women, and mothers are separated from each other. .

62. Heaven has given great responsibilities to people of Sri Lanka. If God did not give great responsibilities to people of Sri Lanka, wouldn’t you still be a person of Sri Lanka?

63. I regard money as dirt, and my father regards me as a septic tank.

64. Ever since I set the alarm clock to "Uneasy", I have been crawling out of bed every day and have never been late.

65. Buddy, please give up, you are blocking my mobile phone signal.

66. Eating is what I want, and losing weight is what I want. I can’t have both, so I’m done with it.

67. Walking and stopping, it’s really stylish, and it’s so cool to stop and stop every second.

68. Study hard for China! A pack of Chinese is a lot of money!

69. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I had already been scrapped.

70. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

71. My dear, are you dead? If you die, hold me tight so that the body collector will know that we are a couple!

72. Checking the time in bed every morning is not to get up, but to see how much longer you can sleep.

73. Don’t think that just because you have shit on your head, you are a diamond gourd baby.

74. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.

75. It is said that people have only two choices, busy dying or busy living. I think I have a third choice: busy waiting to die.

76. Give me a fulcrum, and I will tilt the neighbor's car into the ditch to prevent him from honking the horn when he sees me.

77. I skipped too many classes. I wanted to go to class yesterday. When I saw the teacher, the teacher was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time and you have grown so much."

78. Whenever you are cleaning, the company will say that the company is your home; but when you are late, the company will say that you treat the company as your home?

79. The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work and beautiful dreams, you can’t remember them all when you wake up the next morning!

80. I thought that as long as I was as dark as coal, no one would recognize me, but I was wrong, I was completely wrong. Now I am already as dark as a gleaming black.

81. Every time I buy a drink, I say thank you for your patronage. One day when I was taking an exam, I suddenly couldn't write the word "hui", so I opened the drink next to me. At that time, I went crazy and said: "Another bottle."

Funny QQ signatures for the Spring Festival

1. Kettle, why are you crying? Is it because your butt is too hot?

2. If fate grabs your throat, just scratch it and it will squeak. Nest

3. We live in the gutter, but we still have the right to look up at the stars

4. What we have is confidence, but what we don’t have is just ducks

5. News Hookup is the best, you can still watch a piece of news even if you keep changing channels

6. I originally wanted to eat my sorrow one bite at a time, but now I have become fat after eating one bite at a time

7. I used to be young and handsome, but now I don’t have youth anymore, I am only young.

8. The first guy who knew that milk is drinkable, what did you do to the cow?

9. I am a joke you cannot afford to make. Be careful, I will turn into teeth and swallow you in your belly

10. The degree of a person’s awakening is probably similar to the depth of your pain now

11 , You like me but you love someone else, you think I’m stupid and I’m being deceived by you

12. Don’t let me see you drinking pure milk, I feel like you are tainting it

13 , Is this what you call strong? You still run when gangsters come

14. It is only because of your helplessness that we have the current media gossip

15. I don’t want your hot and cold, because this way I You'll catch a cold

16. If you don't have money, a house, or a car, what do you have?

17. Have you improved your ability to laugh at people? I think the road is curved

18. How can I know how precious our love is until it collapses

19. Your way of taking care of people is so special, you brought prostitutes home Take care of it personally

20. The person you want to marry is not me. I’m really glad that woman has a discerning eye

21. You gave up your future, gave up, so in the end, you also gave up on me. Give up

22. It’s none of my business if she’s better than me, and it’s none of your mother’s business if you’re nice to her

23. I know you won her back, so you Cherish it now

24. I don’t know your secret, and you don’t know mine either. It’s just the same

25. Do you say you are the best man? Are you the kind who always helps women?

26. Your heart beats faster when you see a woman. He is such a good man

27. Cry if you want. You are smiling more than crying now. Even more ugly

28. I know there is someone hidden in your heart, yourself

29. What kind of love are you telling me here? I’m afraid it will shorten your life.

30. The scene of love must end when it is time to end

31. If you have regrets in the world of love, what does this have to do with me

< p> 32. People with big faces cannot use touch screen phones, because they will hang up if you smile

33. Be careful to let the people who love you say the last thing: I don’t care

34 , I think men who dump their wives and want mistresses are heartless

35. I think the people who should cry are in front of you, and the people who should laugh are in front of me

36. You are not the same as others, why should I care about you?

37. We are all selfish and we are all mean, so why should anyone say anything about the other?

38. You dare to step on me I dare to step on your grave

39. I am not a gentle girl, I cannot pretend to be the lady you want

40. You gave your love to others, I can't stand it, let alone look down on the funny QQ group signatures

1. First learn not to be angry, and then learn to make others angry.

2. Who hasn’t been energetic, but have you ever been split?

3. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

4. He looked so excited, as if he had drunk urine sugar.

5. Others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes, but I laugh at others for being so cold.

6. The highest state of not understanding is two words: pretend to understand!

7. When I am strong, I will sweep up all the snacks in the supermarket!

8. Mom said there is no regret medicine in the world, only rat poison.

9. Japan said that the Diaoyu Islands belonged to it, but as a result, there was a tsunami!

10. Since I got mentally ill, my spirit has become much better!

11. Put your heart of stone in my little cherry mouth.

12. I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world.

13. One step at a time, one stop at a time, so stylish, one moment at a time, so chic.

14. When you play splitting, you won’t be afraid of your balls getting cold if you split them so wide!

15. Was there ever a moment when you felt sorry for my persistence.

16. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, please be careful not to get hit.

17. Don’t be afraid of enemies who are like tigers, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs.

18. What is love in the world? The sage replied: Waste!

19. You may say that human life is cheap, but once you enter the hospital, it is extremely expensive.

20. If you love me, put me in a wedding dress, and then strip it naked with your own hands.

21. A gangster is a kind of temperament; an old gangster is a belief.

22. In the season when black stockings are rampant, how can those of us with thick legs be embarrassed?

23. Even if God does not entrust me with any great responsibility, it will still torture my mind and strain my muscles and bones.

24. If a man doesn’t help you put on your wedding dress, give him a cassock.

25. I will not meet netizens unless the country changes monogamy.

26. Loneliness is the carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people!

27. Hello, the number you dialed has passed away. Please call again in the next life.

28. It’s okay to joke. First, don't cross people's bottom line, and second, don't poke people's pain points.

29. Read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, make millions of dollars, and become a heartthrob!

30. People cannot take money into the grave, but money can take people into the grave.

31. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

32. Don’t let others get you easily, otherwise you will be easily forgotten.

33. Is there anyone who misses someone who is far away like me?

34. I said you should be low-key, but you insist on giving me applause and screams.

35. If one day I go down. Remember, I'm coming for you.

36. Since a clock was installed at the back of the classroom, our return rate has increased.

37. Please don’t poop in front of a fly, it will think you are showing off your wealth.

38. As the saying goes, if you are not afraid of leaders who are like donkeys, you are afraid of subordinates who are like pigs.

39. There is no woman who cannot marry a man, only men who cannot marry a woman.

40. A blind cat may not necessarily encounter a dead mouse, but a scholar will encounter a soldier early on.

41. If you are ugly, you should study more. I finally studied from university to a doctorate.

42. God did not particularly favor me, nor did he abandon me, he was just playing tricks on me.

43. When I heard the teacher say that he was going to start fining me again, I knew that he had spent all his salary.

44. After the Chinese test, I cried. After the math test, I found that I cried too early.

45. I spend all my time losing weight except eating, and you still say I don’t have perseverance?

46. When I pass you by, you don’t know it’s me because I turn my head away.

47. Tomorrow comes tomorrow. There are so many tomorrows. Since there are so many, you might as well put it off any longer.

48. An Neng can bend his eyebrows and bend his waist to serve the powerful. Anyway, the ten yuan is your consumption.

49. At this age, the only thing I can afford to hold and put down is chopsticks.

50. Don’t think that a girl can seduce me just by being beautiful. At least she must be stupid enough!

51. I turned her from a girl into a woman; she turned me from a boy into a poor man.

52. There are two things in the world that can lean on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the head teacher.

53. Rich people are afraid that others will know that they are rich, while poor people are afraid that others will know that they have no money.

54. I must appear in your household registration book. Even if I can’t be your wife, I can also be your baby mother.

55. Don’t chirp behind my back. If you see that I am unhappy, come out and kill me if you have the guts.

56. A: It’s hard to swallow this bad breath without revenge. B: How can I let you die?

57. If you save enough four and a half yuan, and I save enough four and a half yuan, we can go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get married.

58. You can’t miss yourself, take care of your pain, get your results, and give yourself happiness.

59. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting inside the toilet or waiting outside the toilet.

60. Going back on my word is my style, betraying others and leaving relatives is my current situation, and living a long life is my result.

61. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? So you have to be more realistic as a human being. .

62. Flowers don’t bloom for anyone, but they can bloom for themselves. The world doesn’t exist for anyone, but it can also exist for themselves.

63. Think about how your world would be different if you didn't meet the person who changed everything for you.

64. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 20 years!

65. After getting up today, I told my husband: I’m going to put on makeup. This idiot said: That's not makeup, it's transformation.

66. Why did you peek at my diary! How do you know I saw you remembering it? I saw it from your diary!

67. The sun is shining in the sky, so I can’t sleep. The teacher is kind-hearted and his lectures are hypnotic. As long as there are no exams, there will be many sweet dreams.

68. Give me a woman and I can create a nation; give me a bottle of wine and I can lead them to conquer the world!

69. What should you do if someone scolds you for not being good enough? : You have seeds, you have many kinds, colorful seeds, but unfortunately they are hybrids.

70. I am a very frugal person. I never use paper to poop, never use chopsticks to eat, and I never wash my hands!

71. If the heart does not find a place to rest, it will wander wherever it goes. We all have a past that we want to go back to but can't.

72. In high school, I had enough money to spend, but not enough sleep. In college, I had enough sleep, but not enough money to spend. After going to work, I didn’t have enough sleep, but not enough money to spend.

73. In the past, primary school teachers were afraid of being embarrassed when they started classes and said to us: When I ask a question, you will all raise your hands, your right hand but not your left hand.

74. If one day If you disappear suddenly, do you think someone will look for you like crazy? If I still owe the bank for my mortgage and car loan.

75. The most touching words in the world are not that I love you, but that you have lost weight. The most hurtful words in the world are not that I hate you, but that you have gained weight.

76. It is really annoying to go to work every day. I advise you to work hard and try to get a job as soon as possible. Make money steadily, settle down in a big city, and have a happy family reunion.

77. A pot of wine among the flowers, free cigarettes to smoke; a toast to the bright moon, but no money on hand; we have sex together when we are awake, but you pay for it when we are drunk. Travel without any worries, don’t worry about food and drink!

78. Wife, I love you, I care for you sincerely, my affection nourishes you, Amitabha bless you, I take this text message as proof: I will always be with you.

79. How many times have I told you to go to bed early at night and not go out, but you just don’t listen. No, it came into my dream again last night, making me unwilling to wake up!

80. When I was in school, I learned to swear, copy homework, compare, be rebellious, fall in love early, fight, poke people's spines, and get to know a lot of dogs. Apart from these, I learned nothing else.

81. This is a very scary story: it happens in buses or cafeterias and Internet cafes everywhere in China. In these places, there is obviously an empty seat, but the people next to you say: There is someone!