The 8-year-old boy secretly recharged the game with 600 yuan, and his mother found out that the action was amazing.

Author |? Gorgeous and happy students with wings

Coordinates |? Hubei Huangshi

0 1? The son secretly recharged the game.

A few days ago, my son mistakenly charged a mobile phone with 600 yuan while playing games.

He used to recharge the game, but he didn't know that the mobile phone can be recharged not only with small change, but also with the bank card bound by WeChat.

He wanted to play a prop in the game and found that there was no money in WeChat change, but he found that the game prompted to pay, so he casually pressed the payment and the result was successful.

From eight o'clock in the morning to one o'clock at noon that day, he recharged more than 600 yuan, and he didn't know that he had dialed the wrong number.

Later, I received a debit notice from the bank.

I called my child and said, "son, you took my father's mobile phone and charged it more than 600 yuan by mistake." My father may be very angry. "

When my son found out, he was very scared. He was afraid that my father and I would criticize him.

At that time, he was playing with his friends. Hearing this, he walked over with his head down.

I felt that he was scared and didn't say much at that time.

I said, "You didn't recharge it on purpose, did you?"

He said, "Yes, I didn't know that there was no money left in the change, but it could be recharged successfully."

I turned on my cell phone and asked him to explain to my dad.

My son didn't dare to tell his father by mobile phone, so I encouraged him.

Unexpectedly, the father calmly said to the child, "son, it's not all your fault." I'm also responsible. Just pay attention next time. "

Hearing his father say this, the child's eyes suddenly lit up.

At that time, I didn't think much, just complained to the game company about rights protection.

In the evening, I said to my son, "What should I do after this happens?"

After discussion, the son said, "Why don't I give you my mobile phone and school will start soon. I don't play with my mobile phone, and I don't recharge it. I play once a week, that is, once on Sunday, and I don't play mobile phones at other times. "

We decided to be happy.

Later, I thought about the influence of accumulated emotions on children.

I asked my son, "You know that 600 yuan was wrongly charged. How do you think? How do you feel? "

He said, "Mom, you have no idea how scared I am. I thought to myself, when this is over, mom and dad will definitely beat me up. Later, I have been holding a desperate attitude, and even if I die! "

Later, we didn't lose our temper and our attitude was quite calm, so we said:

"Mom, do you know? At that moment, I felt very, very guilty

If you and dad had criticized and scolded me loudly at that time, I might not have any regrets. I will still secretly play games and save my strength in the future.

But what you did made me feel that I really did something wrong, and I felt guilty inside. "

Hearing my son's words, I hugged him.

02? The more attention, the more out of control.

I understand his initial fear, because we used to scold him for a little thing.

When I saw my son make a mistake before, I would force him to point out where it was wrong.

I will also tell him a lot of truth.

On the surface, the child listened to me patiently because of fear and nervousness, but after I talked too much, I found that he was in a state of selective deafness.

So, I made the same mistake again and again, preaching again and again until I couldn't hold my breath.

What breaks my heart even more is that the more I push, the worse the effect will be.

When my son was in the first grade, his handwriting was the best in the class.

He only practiced writing for three months, but he didn't stick to it for various reasons. Later, his writing was not as good as before, or even worse.

Every time I ask him to rewrite it, he won't write it.

I found that the more I pay attention to and intervene, the more I hope my children will do well, and the worse the result will be.

Moreover, in the past, I was very entangled in the education of my children, and I didn't know which one to catch first.

Sometimes, I hope he can study hard, review more, read more books and do more problems, and I hope he can get top grades in the exam.

But sometimes, I think his personality is not very good, he is not very good at treating people, his self-confidence is not high, and he is not very opinionated.

Sometimes, I hope he will do as I say and follow my plan. But sometimes, I wonder if I interfere too much, which leads to the lack of independence of children.

My child and I are in a state of entanglement and contradiction, and we are also dissatisfied with our husband.

I used to have a normal relationship with my husband. I have a strong personality. I am a typical tiger and my father is a koala.

I feel that I am better than my husband in dealing with work and interpersonal relationships. Sometimes I am dissatisfied with my husband and feel that he doesn't care enough about me.

I don't care about him either. Our relationship is cold.

I often say in front of children that if I don't study hard, I will work as hard as my father, which will make my father have no sense of existence and weight in children's hearts.

After studying, I know that the state of our husband-wife relationship directly affects the children's self-confidence.

After my son recharged the game, I was very grateful for my calmness at that time.

Because, after learning the emotion class, don't blindly blame and criticize after knowing what happened, the child itself is already very sad.

If I don't agree with his emotions at this time and accuse him again, his own sadness will be replaced by anger and resistance.

Positive acceptance does not mean complete acceptance of behavior. When things happen, he must bear the consequences for his actions.

Later, the mobile phone agreement was also one of his manifestations of taking the initiative to bear the consequences.

After the recharge game, my son developed the consciousness of adhering to principles in doing things.

Sometimes, he really wants to play with his mobile phone. I said to him, "Why don't you play for a while first?"

He said to me:

"Mom, a man is a gentleman, and what he says will count. I hope I play fair and square. I don't like to play secretly, and I don't want to be controlled by time when I play, so I'm not happy.

We agreed that we could only play once a week. Even if I really want to play, I will keep the agreement. I can't play. "

I'm glad that his self-discipline is beyond my imagination.

03? "You will spoil bad children like this, won't you?"

After studying, I have a calm mind and can look at problems with the psychological age of adults, and I will no longer fall into the mode of right and wrong and preaching.

Even if sometimes the mood comes, I quickly adjust my emotional state with my consciousness.

Gradually, I am less anxious about my children and trust them more and more.

Unconsciously, our family relationship began to change.

Recently, I often chat in bed at night to find each other's advantages. After almost everything, I will see what my children have done well, and my self-confidence is getting higher and higher.

My son said that my biggest change was gentleness. I also gave him enough freedom to learn to play and let him control his own arrangements. My son has become self-disciplined now.

During the summer vacation, during homework and rest time, I asked him to write a study list and rest plan. He usually studies online classes by himself.

He also manages the mobile phone himself. He knows when to play and how long to play, and he is conscious.

I am constantly adjusting my relationship with my husband.

I will intentionally affirm the advantages of my father in front of my children-kindness, diligence, perseverance and love for my baby, and strive to establish the image of my father in my children's hearts.

Now I will be aware when I communicate with my husband, so I will not easily enter the mode of cold war or dispute between right and wrong.

Although the intimacy between my husband and I needs to be further improved, our family is finally more and more like a normal family, with temperature, communication and respect.

After studying, I think the most obvious change is that I have more goals and determination in education.

I hesitated before. When I hear different voices, I will shake and doubt myself.

Now, I believe in children and myself.

I give my child 100 yuan pocket money every month, and he can control it by himself. Sometimes, he will spend it all at once and buy his favorite toys, and I won't object.

I will tell him: "There will be no pocket money for the next 20 days. Think about it yourself. Are you sure you don't regret it? "

I supported him after he considered it.

Later, I talked with my colleagues about my children's pocket money. Colleagues were surprised: "An 8-year-old child who has 100 yuan pocket money every month will spoil the child!"

If it was before, I would definitely be shaken and suspicious, fearing that my children would be excessively spoiled materially and would be extravagant and not cherish in the future.

This time, I am very clear about my decision.

First of all, the promised pocket money must not be given, which will make children feel that we have no credit.

Moreover, when I didn't give my child pocket money before, I felt that he was full of desire to buy toys.

Sometimes, I have to buy it several times a month before I stop. Sometimes I say no, and he thinks I'm stingy.

Moreover, after buying it, he doesn't cherish toys.

The child has changed a lot since he started giving him pocket money.

He began to cherish his toys and would not throw them away and break them easily. He also knows that he only has so much money a month, so he can't buy any more toys, and he will cherish it.

And he will discuss it with us before buying it. He is very excited. He also learned to share with his classmates and buy them toys as gifts.

With disposable pocket money, my son no longer has a strong desire for money and has a concept of money.

After getting free space, my son has become both appreciative of money and willing to share it generously.

Such a child that I didn't shape in all kinds of preaching before was easily cultivated by the seemingly insignificant thing of freely controlling pocket money.

Sure enough, children who feel trust and freedom will actively develop a higher level of ability.

After such combing, I am firm.

Every month, I give my child 100 yuan as usual. How to use it and where to spend it is up to him to plan.

I respect him even if he buys toys for his classmates. I just told him some basic money concepts and how to arrange money more reasonably.

Besides money, I have also made great changes in my children's emotional problems.

04? Language in the soul

In early September, something happened.

At that time, the lower grades of my son's school had not yet started, and all the other children had started school. He had to take spelling toys home. On the way home, all the assembled patterns were rubbed together and all the parts were scattered.

When he got home, he was in great pain and cried on his bed.

At that time, I was at work, and when my grandmother called me, he cried sadly on the other end of the phone.

The moment I answered the phone, I wanted to criticize my son I really want to say, "You know, the puzzles are scattered and messy, and it's easy to get mixed up. Why not prepare a better package and pack it in batches? You will cry! "

But for a moment, I suddenly realized that he was already very sad, and it didn't make any sense for me to say this.

So, I said to my son:

"Son, I know you are particularly sad now. You can't play mobile phone now. The children are all at school. You are alone at home, and you finally want to play the puzzle, but the puzzle is falling apart again.

It took you a long time to spell it. You are so sad and wronged.

It took you hours to put this puzzle together. How much do you like it? Now it's all messed up, and the parts can't be separated clearly. You are very sad, very sad, aren't you? "

My son continued to cry on the phone. I don't know what to say next I just told him, "I understand you very much, and I accept your emotions."

Later, I said, "Don't spell it yourself."

He kept crying, and I didn't speak again. I hung up the phone.

About an hour later, grandma called me and my son answered the phone.

My son said to me happily, "mom, do you know?" I put all the puzzles together again. Do you know how difficult it is to assemble ten planes? I put them all together! "

I excitedly said to my son, "son, you are great." How come your memory is so good? I didn't expect to spell it out in a short time. "

My son was so happy that he told me the story of his puzzle endlessly.

I feel his inner pride, happiness and pride, and I am happy for him.

After coming home at night, we lay in bed and talked about what happened these days.

I told him:

"Son, I found that you have matured and grown up these days. Why?

Through the mobile phone recharge storm, I found that you have become very responsible, responsible and self-disciplined. You can stand doing wrong. It's been almost a week, and you haven't touched your mobile phone.

You couldn't have done it before, but you have done it now. I'm happy for you.

I want to ask you, when all the pieces of the puzzle are kneaded into a ball, you are very sad. How do you feel after listening to what your mother told you? "

He said to me:

"Mom, do you know? I feel very comfortable, I feel very good. I was depressed. I feel very comfortable after listening to your words.

I have the courage to put all the scattered puzzles back in place and reassemble them. "

It turns out that when a child's emotions are seen and recognized, he naturally has the courage to face them.

Many times, the child's crying is not to ask you to help him solve the problem, but to tell you: "I need your sight and acceptance."

When I see and accept emotions, everything will be solved.

In the past, we only focused on helping children solve problems, ignoring children's emotions, and things would be counterproductive.

After these things happened, I really felt the power of that sentence: emotion is the language that leads to a person's soul. If we understand emotions, we can walk into each other's hearts.

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