Ask the funny SMS God for help.

In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please try your best to hit your head against the wall. . Do you see it? Countless stars in front of you are my infinite concern! I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was swept away by the waves; So I wrote your name in every corner of the street ... * *, I was taken away by the police! You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has already bloomed; You are Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first ... 4 I have been by your side, worrying about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty. 5 Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, God sent you to me, so God lost that bucket of rice! 6 Do you know? In another ten thousand years, no one will love you more than me! Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? My love is everywhere! Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I sent it to the wrong person! On a dark night in July, you became a ninja and stood majestically at the top of the Forbidden City. Suddenly, I saw you turn around, pull out a treasure knife, yell, sharpen scissors, chop a kitchen knife! Cats are forced to sit in a cordate telosma salon run by foxes because of nightlife. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon to wrap the cat for the night. The cat swore that the mouse was furious: I chased Lao Zi to death, but now I'm a prude! The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I thought there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. * * An asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two! In biology class 10, the teacher asked: how can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down. 1 1 A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now! 12 When someone was riding a bike, he heard passers-by yelling: Go, Go, Go … I thought, Damn it, I can sing: Ole Ole…… I plunged into the ditch before my voice fell, and passers-by scolded: Damn it! I'm telling you, Hook is still riding! You deserve to fall to death. 13 carp and tortoise go to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle's age, and the turtle: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married. A couple came to a wishing pool. The husband bent down and made a wish, then threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "How wonderful!" 15 A couple were fishing by the river, and the ladies were always quarreling. After a while, the fish took the bait, and the lady said, this fish is really poor. The husband said, yes, just shut up. 16 The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?" At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "That's because it's calm and naturally cold." 17 spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. The spider roared, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He worked part-time during the winter vacation to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman was pushed into the operating room by Xiaoguang because of an emergency operation. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You kill pigs. Where are you going to push me? 19 The male and female toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked "Who" loudly. The boy next door replied, "Lei Feng." The first time a person gets on a plane, he wants to throw up. The stewardess took an empty bag, took it again when it was almost full, and told him "don't throw up". When I came back, I saw it everywhere. I asked why, and replied, "When I saw it was almost full, I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited ..." 21A woman is 8 years old. You have to make up a story to put her to sleep. After watching the Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boar. He saw that there were no pigs in the pigsty, so he touched his beard and said, Empty city plan! I turned around and saw a dead pig on the animal trap. I was shocked: danger! I was overjoyed to see you again suddenly: yo-ho, and honey trap? ! A pair of old lovers met 50 years later. After making out, the old man sighed: One spring water has dried up, two mountains have been leveled, and only two raisins are left. The old lady sighed: I rummaged everywhere in the thatched pile, but I haven't seen any guns and bullets, only a dried radish! Frye asked the director's secretary, "Why does the director always sit in the front row at the theatre?" "lead the masses." "But why did he sit in the middle at the movies?" "Go deep into the masses." "When the guests come, why is there always our factory director at the table?" "on behalf of the masses." "But he sits in his office every day ..." "Trust the masses!" A policewoman found that she forgot to bring her underwear in the bathroom, so she asked the police dog to smell her pussy and let the police dog go back to get her underwear. Unexpectedly, the police dog brought the policewoman's baton.