Don't look at it while eating. Talk funny.

Don't look at it while eating. Talk funny.

1. Oh, my God! I don't understand why I am always so easily worshipped by thousands of people.

Don't walk around in my world, because I remember you in my heart.

No one really cares whether you are tired or not, only whether you fly high or not.

In fact, the most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old alone.

5. You always ask what is love in the world? Someone replied: waste.

I tell you, my sister has a smile that you can't imitate all your life.

7. You can't swipe your card if you are handsome, but you can charge it!

8. Now I have hope, desire and extravagant hope for life, and finally I am disappointed in him.

9. Sometimes I really don't want to tell you, you look like the scene of a car accident!

10. Look at that silly you, still thinking silly. Silly, you still love me!

1 1. You idiot, not only are you sick, but your hair is also sick.

12. By the way, Qiandao Lake has no cover, so just go! I will never hug you.

13. It's not that Mrs. Shi is abnormal, but that we all know this sad time.

15. The Association for the Blind sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive.

16. If I say I can't bear to part with you, will you look back at me again?

17. You see Qian Shan is always in love. Please give one more branch.

18. Don't turn your back on me, ok? Because I can't tell whether you are a prince or a frog.

19. I hope you don't call me a house girl. Please call me Madame Curie in the future.

20. Sometimes I feel like a hedgehog. I went there, and people were scared when they saw me covered in thorns.

2 1. Don't be infatuated with elder sister in the future, or your brother-in-law will make you vomit blood.

22. Don't think that I dare not touch you. I can't beat you because I'm afraid I'll beat you.

23. Don't expose your wound because others have sprinkled salt on it.

You can't watch jokes while eating. Tell me about it.

You can't watch jokes while eating. Tell me about it.

1. Walking in the park, I found that couples carved those love marks on the trunk. . . First of all, I don't question why they want to carve words on the trunk, but I am lost in thought. Why do couples bring knives when dating? .

Second, let go of your impetuosity, laziness, enthusiasm for three minutes, your mind that you can't help but be tempted, your eyes that you are easily attracted to, your mouth that you want to gossip about everything, and settle down and do what you should do. It's time to work hard!

My husband and I are both office workers. This is the background-every morning when I change my clothes, I ask him, Do I look good like this? Every time, he will definitely answer well and look good! At this time, his psychological activity should be like this: I said I don't look good, you bitch must change clothes, and you will be late for work after changing!

Fourth, after dinner, I walked back with a married three-time monitor and passed a female soldier. I said this taste is quite special. I haven't seen laundry detergent with this smell in the supermarket. The monitor said, young man, you are too young to understand. That's the smell of fuyanjie.

On the girl's birthday, the boy gave her a bunch of roses and praised the girl with his sweet mouth, saying, honey, your lips are particularly beautiful, as red as this bunch of roses. Who knows, the girl slapped the boy and turned away. The boy paused in the same place and soon caught up with the girl and asked what was going on. The girl turned around and said, look clearly, my lipstick is cherry red!

6. During the May Day holiday, I was on duty. A woman who hadn't contacted WeChat for a long time kept asking me out. I said I was on duty, and she said she would accompany me! I said no, she must come! You see, four hours have passed, she said, I'm lost and I haven't found a place yet!

Seven, a female colleague pinched my thigh and said with a smile: Hey, young man, you are in good health, and you are not wearing long pants! It scares me. If I pinch my ass, I will find that I am not wearing underwear!

I went for a walk and saw a red bill on the ground! Grandpa Mao! I can't believe I'm lucky, too Today is really a good day! (I pick it up) Lying in the trough, 100 million!

Nine, just graduated from work and rented a house outside. One morning, the landlady knocked at the door and said that I had my share of fried rice with eggs. Let me open the door quickly and get it. Because I am used to wearing shirts at school, I opened the door. As a result, as soon as I opened the door, the landlady saw me and took it away. I was thinking. I looked down and found that I slept naked last night. What should I do next?

Ten, once a friend dissected pigeons in an experimental class, some girls in the class felt that pigeons were so pitiful that they let them go through the window. As a result, the meat pigeon bought by the teacher could not fly, and fell directly from the fifth floor and died.

The schoolbag was opened by a thief, but I was too lazy to pay attention. The thief kept turning and turning, and finally he couldn't help but turn around and shouted with Wang Ba's breath: Which book do you want? I'll get it for you!

Twelve, eat western food on a date and break a bowl. The waiter said, hello, sir! This bowl is 50 yuan. As soon as I looked in my pockets, there was only one hundred. The waiter has no change, so I want to pretend to be B. Got it! I picked up a plate and threw it underground. This time, okay? Take it! Keep the change! I am extremely proud that that woman gave me an admiring look. Sir, bowl 50, plate 100.

Thirteen, Mother's Day, the class organized a discussion on the key words that summed up the mother's image. I asked my deskmate: What impressed me most about my mother was that she was frugal. By the way, will your mother save money? She just looked up at my face and shook her head into a rattle: in your dreams! No appointment!

14. I just came home from work and it was very cold. I saw the little girl next door who forgot her key and squatted at the door trembling. I went over to her and said, go home and have a cup of milk tea. . She plopped down on her knees and said, Uncle, I'm still young. Leave me alone. Me:

Fifteen, the son came out of the toilet with a painful face and asked him what was wrong? He said: it may be hemorrhoids! Me: How can you get hemorrhoids when you are so young? I must have eaten too much Chili recently! The son said, not necessarily. Teachers often say that hemorrhoids are not old!

Sixteen, wear 300 yuan's watch and 3 million yuan watch, the time is the same. Drinking 30 yuan's wine is the same as drinking 3000 yuan's wine, and vomiting is the same. Living in a house of 30 square meters is the same as living in a house of 300 square meters. What we need is presence, but presence, we don't care about Mars and Lamborghini. One day you will understand that the real happiness in your heart can never be given to you by the material world.

Seventeen, want to eat eggs, go to the supermarket to buy, I asked the boss: how much are the eggs? Boss: How much do you want? The more you buy, the cheaper it is! I thought about it and said, give it to me until it's free! Boss: Tell me to die.

At the age of eighteen, my sister went back to her mother's house angrily. Ask her what's the matter, she said that she quarreled with her brother-in-law the other day. This morning, she found him washing his face with her washbasin, brushing his teeth with her towel, and drinking water from her cup. . My sister asked my brother-in-law why he didn't use his own. My brother-in-law said that if you wash your feet with my washbasin, wipe your feet with my towel, brush the toilet with my toothbrush and pee with my cup?

Nineteen, I suddenly received a text message from my son today: Dad, do I still have a chance to become a rich second generation? I have mixed feelings, tossing and turning at night, then biting my teeth and stamping my feet, picking up my mobile phone and forwarding this message to my dad.

Twenty, my daughter caught a cold and was a little afraid of the cold. She refused to sleep alone. At night, she ran to the big bed and hugged her mother tightly. . . Me: Baby, why don't you hug dad? Daughter: Dad picks me up from work and takes me to school every day. I don't want to give him the cold! ! !

There is a part of life where you invite him to dinner many times, but he won't invite you once. It's not that he has no money, but that he is reluctant to use it.

22. Lao Shi asked us to write a warning about caring for grass. I said shyly: today you step on my head, and tomorrow I will grow on your grave ~

23. Have dinner with a colleague. When paying the bill, my colleague said that he would treat me today and handed the boss a 100. After a while, the boss came again with 100 yuan and asked: 100 yuan can't be changed. Do you have any change? Colleague said: no, then look at me. I quickly said: Yes. I counted ten 10 from my wallet and put them on the table. Then I put 100 in my wallet.

Twenty-four, my wife said to me in the morning: Husband, you always talk in your sleep, why don't you go to the hospital for a check-up? I refused as soon as I heard it: how can this be treated in a hospital? If it is cured, my only right to speak at home will be gone.

Twenty-five, brush your teeth in the morning, my daughter wants to use my toothpaste, I said, you can't use it, you are still young, you need to use the baby's toothpaste. My daughter gave me a cold look and said, you use my baby cream every day. Did I tell you?

Twenty-six, I bought a pair of pants online, and the result was too big. In order not to waste money on pants, I eat like crazy. After half a month, I finally put it on, and then I found that the old pants could not be worn. .

Twenty-seven, wedding, groom: In fact, after I fell in love with you, I loved many people. . . There was an uproar under the stage and the bride was shocked. Seeing this scene, the groom continued with satisfaction: Many people, including your parents, your family and your friends. . . The applause thundered. The bride paused and asked, Does it include my boudoir?

Twenty-eight, the canteen aunt asked her roommate why she ate so many sausages every meal? My roommate told her shyly: My girlfriend told me to make up for what I ate! Then aunt gave her roommate two pig brains.

Twenty-nine, go to the canteen to eat together, a female colleague (very open kind) looked at her chest and said, alas, I wonder what your men's breasts are for? Well, we were speechless, and a buddy next to us replied: A man's chest is a measure to tell you that a woman can't be too small. Nima, there is wood in the group.

Thirty, I washed my hair this morning. When I bowed my head to eat, my father gently stroked my hair and my heart was warm. Only when you are in love can you have this kind of intimacy. I heard my father say: I have a white hair on my head. I'll rub it out for you. Pull it out! Dizzy ~ ~ ~

Thirty-one, driving to work in the morning, the co-pilot is my girlfriend. Suddenly, my girlfriend shouted, watch your back! Scared me, I took a closer look and found that no one ran out without a pet, so I asked her, what are you yelling about? It's nothing. She glanced at me and said plausibly, didn't you see a banana peel? I'm afraid of slipping!

Thirty-two, I went to the toilet at night, and when I came back, I saw my wife rob my computer. I sighed: it's really a long way to go, and the dog will take up the place. Result. . . My face still hurts. . .

Thirty-three, my son went to eat snacks without doing his homework after school. I said, is it shameful not to do homework and eat? The son said: of course, I have a thick skin!

Thirty-four, my girlfriend suddenly sent a message: I was wrong about you! I suddenly panicked, and it seems that I can't hide it, so I have to confess: Listen to me! Your best friend seduced me first! At the same time, I received a second message from my girlfriend: Just now, there was a man with the same hairstyle as you!

One day, the teacher said angrily in class: Now, whoever answers a question correctly can go home from school. Here it is. Xiaoming immediately throws his schoolbag out of the window. The teacher asked: Who did it? Xiao Ming replied: I did it. Say that finish immediately ran home.

Woman: Honey, do you think I'll look better if I'm thinner? M: I don't know. Woman: Go to hell, how could you not know? Man: I've never seen you lose weight!

Thirty-seven, the boudoir said: The husband loves his son very much, and he is afraid of losing it in his mouth and holding it in his hand. He loves it every day. I said, isn't this a good thing? My best friend said, what a fart! I didn't have the heart to tell him that the baby wasn't his. I

The boy hugged the girl from behind and whispered in her ear, I want to try your lipstick. The girl couldn't bear to refuse, trembling. She took lipstick out of her bag and handed it to him: You can have some. This one you used today is more expensive.

My son is always muddling along with his homework. Last night, I scolded him again: you said you had to eat or do your homework, or you were distracted. You are worried about your father. I didn't expect him not to change, but he had the cheek to laugh and imitate her mother's tone: you damn fool! What's the hurry! Me. . .

Forty, the wife is a standard foodie. Today, when I was shopping, thieves robbed me of more than 500 yuan. When I got home, I complained to her and burst into tears. I had to comfort her: the thief took your money to see a doctor! My wife threw herself into my arms and cried, no, he must have gone to buy delicious food!

A couple has a pair of twins. When they were asleep, oo was fighting a fierce battle. Suddenly, my daughter stood up and asked what you were doing. Her father gave his daughter a big mouth without saying anything, and the woman cried with injustice! The son spoke: I told you to lie there and watch, but you didn't listen. You must stand up and watch. Did you get hit?

Forty-two, the first time I went to my girlfriend's house to meet her parents, I couldn't say how nervous I was. I asked her what to pay attention to along the way. She seemed a little annoyed with my question and comforted me: Don't be afraid, my parents are very nice. Relax, Miss Wang.

Forty-three, have I been single for too long and don't want to fall in love at all? I will make money, make clothes, wash clothes racks, fight, find a boyfriend, serve Lazar, and worry about finding a mistress. It is said that there are men who don't steal vegetables now, and I will evolve into a man. I have the ability to pick up girls, but I am also a girl.

Forty-four, the courier arrived, let me pick it up, I didn't have time at that time. I was going to pick it up in the afternoon, but I don't know where the courier is, and I didn't answer the courier phone. Then I called the seller and the seller patiently explained it for a long time. Finally, he said to help me check, but I couldn't find it. He asked me what I bought, and I said bike. The other party was silent for a while and said that my family didn't sell bicycles. .

Forty-five, on a business trip, went to a secluded city. There was nothing to do in the afternoon, so I opened a good room and had a rest. She came to my hotel after work and didn't know my room number. She called me: XX, what bed do you live in? Sleeping trough, which bed is it? What bed are you in? Your husband lives in andrology bed one! You can't be friends with nurses.

Thank the leader for his warm-hearted sentence when eating.

Thank the leader for his warm heart when eating. Wherever you go, you will always be my work mentor. I hope you have a successful career and good health.

I want to thank the leaders for their trust, support and encouragement. Thank you sincerely!

3. It's not the wind, I'm afraid I'm already haggard; It's not raining, I'm afraid it's already pale; Without your company, I'm afraid I would have been overwhelmed by troubles. Thanks to the wind and rain, it taught me to mature; Thank you for your encouragement, which gave me courage and strength.

I will consult you more when I have the opportunity. Everything you say will benefit me for life. In my impression, you are a person full of energy and charm.

5. My parents are happy because of my filial piety; My girlfriend is sweet because of my thoughtfulness; I am considerate, because I got paid; Leader, give me more salary to make me more filial and considerate.

6. Thanks to my parents for letting me be flesh and blood, thanks to life for letting me know the hardships of life, thanks to the ups and downs for letting me know the challenges, thanks to my friends for letting me know that friendship is priceless and grateful for happiness.

7. Thanks to the mobile company for giving me this opportunity, thanks to my parents for making me so smart, thanks to the mobile phone manufacturers and distributors for getting me such a good mobile phone, and thanks for letting me send you this short message when I am bored!

8. With a grateful heart, you will cherish friendship more. It is not easy for us to become friends or even bosom friends among countless people who have passed by. No wonder Lu Xun, the writer, lamented, "It is enough to have a bosom friend in life, and the world should treat each other with the same bosom."

Youth and genius go hand in hand, which is undoubtedly the most perfect scene in the world. And you have both. Today, may your youth and intelligence bring you a more perfect tomorrow!

10. I am grateful to have you in my life, and I want to live happily!

1 1. Thank you for your teacher-like teaching and continuous learning at work.

12. Since you have chosen to pursue, don't cry. Hold on, hold on today, and happiness will be one step closer. What really makes people tired is inner despair.

13. I am glad to win your recognition and friendship, cherish it and keep it for a long time.

14. I pass by you every day, but I haven't visited you in. Today, I finally decided to summon up courage and knock on your office: Happy holidays, boss!

15. In the past year, I was honored to work and study under your leadership.

Thank the leaders at dinner. 16. Grateful company, give you a platform for development!

17. Thank you for providing me with this platform, so that we can show ourselves better!

18. Without ideals, that is, without some kind of good wishes, there will never be a good reality.

19. After so many years, I thank the leaders for their careful cultivation. Without Bole, I will never be a swift horse. Your concern yesterday made me who I am today. Thank you!

20. If I am a horse, then you are my Bole. I will make persistent efforts with you!

2 1. Dear leader, thank you for taking care of me. I will work harder in the future.

22. Some tools must be taken away when moving, such as happiness, happiness, health and other valuables. Some rags must be thrown away: sadness, annoyance, nothing!

23. A journey of a thousand miles will accumulate steps; The ship of Wan Li is a compass; Thanks to the guidance of the leaders on weekdays, we have today.

24. Thank my boss for giving me an opportunity and platform to show myself and improve myself. I also thank the leaders of various departments for their help, guidance and warning-I will seize every opportunity to learn, remember what I should remember and forget what I should forget.

25. Hello, leader, today is your birthday. I send my best wishes specially. I wish him a bowl of sweet longevity noodles. Chewy noodles are my long-cherished wish, and delicious soup is my happy and sweet blessing to you.

26. Knowing you, I have made gratifying progress with your help.

27. We work together, struggle together and make progress together. I'm glad to have you in a team that loves life and works hard. We are good leaders and colleagues.

28. Thank you for your friends' smiles, which makes me happy at work.

29. The days of working together are very happy, and the days of struggling together are unforgettable! Thank you for your help. may you have a happy new year! .

In the past year, thank you for your support to my work.

Talk about mood phrases and sentences in the circle of friends when eating.

For a foodie friend, only food and love can live up to it. Every day, our friends who eat delicious food can't wait to rush to the paradise of delicious food before dinner. So what do we want to say in the circle of friends before dinner? Today I carefully arranged some mood phrases for you to eat and send you a circle of friends. I hope you like it!

1, even if life is no longer unbearable, I will try to eat.

2. Eat your girlfriend, you deserve it!

3. The life of eating goods is actually very happy.

I always wander between full and full.

Don't ask me what I want to eat and what I have.

6. The most annoying number for eating food is 24 (starvation).

7, eat, enjoy in your mouth, and want to be thin.

8. Slimming diet is the best in the diet.

9, life is alive, you should not be embarrassed about the word food.

10, we haven't eaten for several days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

1 1, eating like a train, eating like crazy. Eat like crazy.

12, you can eat without studying, and you can study without eating!

13, I'm just a qualified foodie, full of disappointment.

14. Eat to live, but live not to eat.

15, parties that don't aim at eating are hooligans.

16, for foodies, the only thing you can't eat in this world is loss.

17. Eat to live, but life is not just to eat.

18, eating motto: just eat!

19, eat three meals a day on average, and each person has eight hours. This is eating goods.

20. Life is so simple. Eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are sleepy!

2 1. When I eat instant noodles with mushrooms, I always add some Radix Isatidis to clear away heat and detoxify.

22, it is said that eating food will not fail because it is too heavy, and the high number will not hang.

23. It's not for drying food. I like the color matching of this tablecloth very much.

24. Which is more important, food or figure? Eating food: What's your figure? Can I eat?

25. If you think that eating is everything in life, you are wrong, and sleep!

26. Work should be urged by eating, not waiting for eating, so as to pass.

27. The idea of eating food is to eat more if it is delicious, and eat more if it is not delicious.

28. For foodies, there is delicious food every day, and life will not be monotonous.

29. What are the ideas for eating food? Eat more if it tastes good, and eat more if it doesn't.

30. I just realized that when I was losing weight, there were so many people drying food in my circle of friends!

3 1, whether you bury your head in farming or bow your head to eat, you will never forget to look up at the sky.

32. I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature now; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short.

33. Never ask if you have eaten the food. This is not a problem at all for eating goods. If you want to ask, are you full?

34. Everyone basks in food in a circle of friends. I looked around without any ups and downs. I have grown up.

It is cruel for thin people to eat for fat people. Fat people eat for thin people, which is very cool.

36. Only food and love can live up to it. If you don't have a lover, let's comment on the delicious food. Who is not a trivial matter?

37. Friends circle basks in food, travel, bags, cars, and then ... crying for poverty, which is fucking hypocritical.

I have a heart to lose weight and a stomach to eat food. They are in pK every day. Let me count on my fingers. Emma's stomach won again today!

39. Some pustules are equivalent to eating goods, but eating goods is not necessarily pustules. The basic difference between the two is that pustules are very edible and foodies are very good at eating.

40, the circle of friends is a pit, drying meat, someone cares about you. Sun Cai, you are invited to treat. Print books and someone will lend them to you. Can you simply appreciate it?