How to keep a girl and how to save a heartless woman.

A person who is serious when she is together and speaks seriously when she breaks up, do you call her heartless? Obviously, I am deeply involved!

I have met many girls, and the word "break up" is so categorical that I can't cry when I turn around. You think she can't pull back nine cows, because you didn't see her throw up as drunk as a fiddler.

All unrequited love is hiding emotions, which is a skill we learned as adults. Only children write everything on their faces. Adults have long known that it is useless to be emotional. If they want a good life, they should pretend to be strong.

In fact, in my impression, most girls are emotional and love to make trouble and make trouble. They casually say that they are angry with you and threaten you in exchange for what they want. However, these are just little girls in the early days of love. A really mature woman wouldn't do such a childish thing. When they said they were going to break up, it was no use coaxing them.

For a naive girl, you can buy her a gift, grind her with soft words, apologize to her and support her, and she will naturally feel that she has face and steps. As long as you do enough, it is not a problem to save her.

But for a mature woman, these superficial redemption tricks will only make her feel that you are not on an emotional level with her, and you are still naive.

Why did she become heartless? Under the framework of this kind of woman, she can tolerate all your little mistakes. It doesn't matter if you make her angry so many times. As long as she is not completely disappointed with you, she will not easily show the emotion of collapse, but she must have an explanation in her heart and write down all these negative emotions.

If you can see the problem, you know how to be grateful, understand her tolerance for you and solve her negative emotions in time, then she will naturally continue to give you the same feedback. But if you have always been a supplicant who only has eyes for herself and keeps squeezing her emotional value to meet her own needs, then why should she continue to bear all this while seeing clearly your selfish nature?

The fish swam in the water, but forgot there was water. Birds fly in the wind, but they don't know it is windy. After all, what you take for granted is taken for granted.

You don't even know why the other person suddenly became rude. Let's reflect on our own problems. The greater probability is not that the ex-girlfriend is too rude, but that she has done too many things before and brought too much harm to the other party, so that she abruptly changed herself from an innocent girl to a cold woman!

How to face a heartless ex-girlfriend? If you can be sure that your ex-girlfriend doesn't love you and you don't want to keep such a heartless woman, then I advise you not to face it. The best way to let go of a person is time. From then on, her ruthlessness has nothing to do with you.

But if you really want to save it, you must make changes as soon as possible, from mentality to action.

Let me give you an example. I came into contact with a boy with a special axis. He is a game engineer, a great god, and has excellent business ability. I thought such a child must be very savvy, but I didn't expect him to be my negative textbook for a long time. To put it mildly, it is to pressure each other with their own needs.

I followed the whole process of recovery step by step, and finally, the boy himself changed a lot. By guiding his recovery process, he tells you what to do in the face of his rejected predecessor.

1. Correct the attribute and abandon the victim's thinking.

At first, the boy's mentality was very explosive, because the other party never answered his phone calls or returned messages, but people still left a little mercy and did not blacken him.

Through the communication with this boy, I especially want to remind you that you must face your lovelorn love with a correct attitude and accept each other's heartless state.

A common lovelorn mentality is: she abandoned me, and she is so cruel.

This mentality looks pitiful and innocent. It seems that the other person is a heartless villain, insisting on breaking up to hurt you, completely weakening the mistakes you made in this matter. You think you're the victim. Coincidentally, she thinks so too. The difference is that she thinks you left because she was black and blue. You think she used it? Leave? Hurt you.

When a person is trapped in the victim's mind, you can't reflect objectively.

Tell her how you can stop loving me.

She told you that we were not suitable.

You love to cry here, but she completely closed her emotions. You find yourself being rejected all the time, and chickens talk to ducks when communicating. At this time, your redemption unconsciously becomes a way to treat innocent girls. Apologize, please, put a low profile and express your needs. The victim's mentality will make you spin in this endless cycle.

If you want to save it, you must change your way of thinking and understand that what the other party needs is not simply to please. Mature women need real understanding and recognition.

I tried my best to get this boy to give himself a week's holiday, get together with friends from other places, ease his mood, and let some subsequent recovery measures go smoothly.

2. Remove each other's emotional barriers and open communication channels.

According to the boy's description, the woman is introverted and doesn't like to express herself. When you are in love, you often have a cold war, because girls don't say why they are angry, and they like to sulk alone.

In rational personality, this girl belongs to self-consuming partner.

What is this kind of partner good at? Emotional wall building? That is to say, I have a conditioned response to boys' redemption behavior, and I like to protect myself with a strong defensive heart and establish a self-defense mechanism.

The same is true when girls get along. Her mentality is much more mature than that of boys. She knows the crux of many problems, but her strong self-esteem makes her reluctant to say it. Girls like this, so that others can guess her mind. If you're right, it means love. If you guess wrong, it means love. You don't care about me. You don't know what I'm thinking. In this way, it is emotional self-consumption.

The disadvantage of this kind of boy is that he doesn't understand the girl's emotions, and ignores them when the other party has needs or negative emotions, which leads to the girl's accumulation of many disappointments and is no longer willing to associate.

At the same time, because the emotional wall constructed by the subconscious is very high when breaking up, she is now in a state of high tension and sensitive alert. The way to treat her is to retreat and advance, first give her approval and let her relax.

At first, the girl didn't reply. The boy thought she was still that kind of refusal attitude, but after waiting all afternoon, she finally waited for one of the girls? Okay？ Word, this is the first time this girl has responded since she broke up for half a month. Although the content is short, it is a signal that the girl subconsciously relaxes her vigilance.

Originally, the boy's redemption had a purpose, and he was expressing himself. Naturally, he got a tit-for-tat avoidance attitude from the girl, but now he uses this? Agree to your decision on the fundamental issue first? Way, let go of their own purpose, which gave the other party an emotional release, removed a brick of her extreme emotions.

This kind of emotional release must be done at least five times before the other party can respond further to you. In the communication, I asked the boy to release some signals of goodwill to the other party without oppression, that is, to make an explanation in line with his identity when expressing goodwill.

Like what? I ordered your favorite milk tea and called you just now. Why don't you go downstairs and get it? And then add? Don't think too much, just happen to see it, just care about your stomach, don't say no? Unload some psychological burden on the other side.

That self-consuming girl really needs help and rescue from others, although she is already a dead duck. Therefore, as long as a boy can pave the way for her and express goodwill in a comfortable way that she can accept, the other person's iceberg can also melt.

The barriers of negative emotions can also be opened more quickly, and both sides can enter some more daily communication.

3. Analyze the nature of contradictions and strengthen each other's? Breaking up anxiety? And the anxiety of docking each other.

This girl's personality determines what kind of girl she is. Don't say anything when you are bitter? Some people have a stronger sense of inner needs than ordinary people. During the breakup, she will also have doubts and reflections on her emotional failure, but she can't find an exit. At this time, I will let this boy do this? Big brother? Help her find an outlet for this negative emotion.

Girls develop this? Do you have anything to bring? Her personality has a lot to do with her growing environment. The girl was a left-behind child when she was a child. When she was a child, her parents were not around and she often ran errands for her grandparents. Beneath her independent appearance, there is actually a heart eager for care.

Therefore, if this boy pricks her heart from the perspective of family background, and deeply discusses the growth and family environment of two people, the other party can understand their inner world more clearly, expose their needs, and be more anxious about being alone at the same time. This is a good opportunity to use the circle of friends to satisfy each other's anxiety.

This girl can't cook and always makes do with eating alone, so I deliberately asked the boy to cook a table of dishes and ask her out. In fact, when she is anxious about breaking up, it is easy to have regrets. Compared with their own lives, the warm days of being taken care of by the other half made the girls very moved, so they agreed to eat at the boys' residence for the first time. After meeting, the two sides became ambiguous.

4. Identify the peak demand, maximize the use of all resources, and seize each other's demand points.

Usually, it is most efficient to promote reorganization when the emotional needs of the other party are the strongest. This is similar to chasing a girl when she needs it most and giving her what she needs most. This kind? Take advantage of people's danger? , absolutely get twice the result with half the effort. When did the peak of this demand point appear?

There are countless clues around customers that can reveal this. It's not that hard. It is usually better to ask yourself than others. You know each other best. Even if the other party doesn't give you any chance to perform, you can create opportunities for yourself. Like what? Encounter? , for example? Heroes save the United States? These are all examples of creating opportunities by yourself.

You should know how to use some third-party factors to create opportunities for yourself. For example, divorce, let the children come out to make peace and give them a step down. This effect is better than apologizing yourself, and the other party can at least give themselves a chance to communicate.

This boy is very attentive. He secretly found a girl's girlfriend, invited her to dinner, told her what she wanted to save, and got her support.

You can get a lot of useful information from these third parties, such as

What the other person really thinks about breaking up.

How the other person feels about the current state.

Is the other person's mood suitable for sending messages?

What kind of partner does she want?

The girl's girlfriend provides a lot of effective news to the boy, which is simply the strongest aid.

With the help of the strongest assists, the boys learned that the girl was ill on a business trip, so they chased after Nanjing and gave her a surprise after work. That week, the boy stuck to the girl's residence, worked in her house, brought her medicine and cooked for her, and finally touched the girl. Recently, I also heard that two people, on a second date, cherish each other more and plan to get married after the New Year.

During the whole recovery process, I watched the boy from the beginning knowing nothing, and finally learned to actively communicate with girls, keeping every word she said in mind and guiding the other party to express their vulnerability. It is not easy for this boy to grow from an ignorant straight man in science and engineering to a mature man with thoughts.

I am very pleased and moved by this incident. Many girls say that the boyfriends they cultivated ended up raising husbands for others. But this living example also tells us that what you trained may be your husband or wife.

Everyone thinks that his ex is heartless, but in the eyes of others, he is obviously a husband or wife, but he is very gentle. Why can't you give the other person a little more patience and help him open his tender side?

You don't know how to face a heartless ex. Maybe you were overwhelmed by negative emotions for a while, so you wavered, and you began to doubt that you two were really inappropriate. In fact, there is no perfect soul in the world. People who grow old together are people who know how to tolerate and appreciate each other. They are willing to treat the people they like with more goodwill, so as to harvest a happy love. I'm sure you can do the same, stranger.