Funny Quotes from Jianghu - How can a person wander around in Jianghu without carrying a knife?

In my next life I must be reincarnated as a man and marry a woman like me

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then I must eat at least a pair My little whale...

I've walked south, crossed north, drank water behind the toilet, had my legs pressed against me on the train track, and even kissed a fool. I have climbed mountains and fought tigers~ I have practiced martial arts in the Shaolin Temple, with a blue dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right. I often used Clinton as my two hundred and five, and even fed Sakyamuni to the tiger! I danced on the pyramids and played drums on Jesus' head

I am not a casual person! But when I am casual, I am not a human being

Taking a bath is a blessing for the butt, but a hardship for the head; watching a movie is a blessing for the head, but a hardship for the butt; listening to you talks is a hardship for both the head and the butt.

The brothers in the dormitory decided to impose the following punishment on the roommate: make him hold a telephone pole covered with advertisements for old Chinese medicine practitioners, and shout with tears and affection: My disease is finally cured

How can a person wander around the rivers and lakes without carrying a knife

I want to fall in love prematurely, but it is too late

If God wants to destroy people, he must first make them crazy; When people are crazy, they must first buy a house.

I have eight honors on the left and eight shames on the right. Three representatives are on my waist, and a ball of harmony is on my chest. People who stand in the way kill people, and Buddhas who stand in the way kill the Buddha.

Holding the hand of the son, dragging Go feed the dog

I have always regarded handsome men and money as dirt, and they have always regarded me that way

Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money

The person burning incense may not necessarily be a monk, but it may also be a panda

When I am drunk, I will not accept anyone, so I will hold on to the wall

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with no future There is a bright future, but I can’t find a way out

Whoever said I was fair, thin, and beautiful~ I will be good friends with him

About thongs: In the past, I took off my underwear to look at my butt. ; Now, pull up your butt and look at your underwear...

"What does it mean to be an optimist?" "This... is like a teapot, his butt is burning red, and he is still in the mood to whistle! ”

The effect of contraception: If it fails, you will become an adult

Water is cut off during the day, power is cut off at night, wages cannot be paid, noodles cannot be bought, open Deng Xuan to find the answer, it turns out that society The primary stage of socialism. Turn to the end. Damn it, it won’t change for a hundred years.

A friend of mine was an intern at China Unicom. One day, an old man came up to me and said, "Can you apply for a mobile card for me?" Then my friend said without even looking up. ﹕"Master, someone is here to mess up the situation. Inspirational words for those who are lost in love: What is being lost in love? How can a person not be stabbed by a gentle knife when he is in love?

1. Don't talk about sadness, everyone has his own The story. Living is not to miss yesterday, but to wait for hope and let everyone see that you can live well without him.

2. Don’t say what you love most. Who, life is still very long, no one can predict tomorrow, maybe your true love will be waiting for you in the next second.

3. Don’t give the person who hurt you a second chance to hurt you. p>

4. After breaking up, just be yourself. There are also rising and falling moons in a person's world, and there are also beautiful moments.

5. Don't tell him after it's over. I hate you because love is a matter between two people and everyone is responsible for missing it. 6. After leaving, tell him loudly: I love you and it has nothing to do with you. Love is your right. , say everything you want to say, recall your past calmly, and then cry. After crying, leave everything in yesterday and never touch it.

7. What you will think of after leaving is loneliness. Picture, but please forget it. A person always has a new beginning, don't let the past tie you to the palace of sorrow.

8. In the vast sea of ????people, some people just pass by, but some people leave a deep impression on you. Maybe you have to walk together and share everything in your life, maybe it is destined. To separate, everyone has his own way of living and has the right to choose his own path and his own way of life.

9. Work hard to get out, and you will see that the sun will be warmer tomorrow than today! The sky tomorrow will be bluer than today!

10. If he doesn’t love you, he will lose someone who loves him, and you will lose someone who doesn’t love you, but you will get a new life and a chance to love again. ! Therefore, only by giving up people who don't belong to you can you find someone who truly knows how to love you! People who know how to consider you! Someone who knows how to take care of you! So giving up is also another kind of pursuit!

11. Falling out of love is nothing to be ashamed of. But some people who are lovelorn think that falling out of love is shameful, that they have been teased and played with by the other person. As a result, they feel shameless, ashamed, have a strong sense of inferiority, and even live in isolation. In fact, the development of anything faces two prospects, and the same is true for love.

12. When you are broken up in love, try to find some shortcomings of the other person (after all, no one is perfect), so that it will not be too much. Sad, sad. Learn to comfort yourself, okay? Let yourself be more happy and less troubled!

13. What is a broken love? Go gently, don't regret it, because as long as you wave your hand, you will find that the person you love who can't wait is secretly holding your hand!

14. What is a broken love? When a person is in love, how can he not take a gentle knife, bear some pain, pull out the knife, apply some gold and wound medicine, and spread his legs, we can still be in love!

15. Losing a crooked neck tree and the entire forest.

16. Don’t make a fuss when breaking up. After all, if you two have been together for so long, he will be sad if you break up, but he is more sensible and does not want to limit your or his tomorrow. It's easy to get together and part ways, and we will still be friends in the future.

17. Pain is better than no feeling at all. Of course it will hurt, it means you are still alive.

18. Forget those unhappy things! Even God believes that sorrow and trouble do not belong to you. Try to get yourself out, (you will see that the sun tomorrow will be warmer than today! The sky tomorrow will be bluer than today!

19. Whether it is habits or lingering feelings, time will also dilute it all.

20. I want to tell you: Friends will silently support you. If you encounter something unpleasant, look back and you will find that I am still with you from beginning to end. You. Be happy!

21. When you think about him, think about his kindness and his smile. Remember that you once loved someone, and don’t worry about who betrayed him in the end. Be happy. Just fine.

22. A person's world always needs another person to be a foil. If he leaves, it means he can't afford you. I believe that I will have a better tomorrow. It’s still the same.

23. There is a kind of fall that is called standing up, a kind of loss that is called gain, and there is a kind of failure that is called success. Be strong, my friend, tomorrow will be yours!

24. Fate, whether you believe it or not! In short, sometimes you have to obey its mercy. The person who loves you and the person you love may have been arranged by God. Maybe you have pursued it passionately, but that is unknown. What can you do if you fall in love with something that doesn't belong to you? It just adds to the memory of scars. Talking about the boy's super cool personality, how can he not be beaten when he is in the world?

1. How can a person wander in the world? There is no way I won’t get stabbed; if I live in the world, I won’t get beaten.

2. What you see today is colorful.

3. Loneliness. It’s just a gorgeous bluff. Who is who? The relationship will be renewed thousands of years later.

4. No matter how old you are, no matter how much your family and friends urge you, don’t treat marriage casually. Marriage is not a game of cards. , reshuffling the cards will come at a huge cost.

5. Please do not let yourself become a sharp-edged experiment. The final pain is your own.

6. I feel distressed, but no one knows it except myself.

7. Treat yourself as your opponent when there is nothing wrong, and see if you can defeat yourself!

8. Things have changed, things have changed, and life will not stop for anyone.

9. Rosemary’s memory has faded, who is chasing the happiness of four-leaf clover.

10. Instead of hating today with tears, it is better to fight for today with sweat.

11. Any emotion is fragile. Cracks will appear with a little force. It can never be restored to its original state. The longing that is constantly entangled in life.

12. When the fish takes the bait, it is because the fish falls in love with the fisherman and is willing to use its life to make the fisherman smile. 13. The more trust you have, the deeper the betrayal will be: The more love there is, the greater the danger.

14. Thinking about the promise I made to you, I am very happy because I have been working hard

15. Love without love will never go bad. So, we flirt, we are ambiguous, but we never fall in love.

16. Emotion loses to distance, distance loses to time, but we lose to reality.

17. The important thing about a person is not where he stands. It's about which direction to go in.

18. Don't underestimate anyone. Inconspicuous people often do things that are unexpected.

19. Give up what you have and save the last second to cherish it.

20. If you are tired of love, how can you stop it?

21. What is a happy era? It cannot be said that sorrow is not caused by the times, but in the final analysis it can only be said that it is self-inflicted.

22. Look up at the sky and listen attentively. Classic Quotations from Laughing Jianghu

1. I usually peek at other people’s books. I bought this one myself, and it also comes with the Shushan Sword Manual.

2. Everyone, look at it (fish). Fish can’t live without water, and you can’t live without the boat. If you don’t pay, you go into the water and the fish gets on the boat.

3. Give you three seconds to think about it... "3, 7, 9..." (How can someone count like this?)

4. Follow the practice after you have practiced it If you pass, don't fight me. He is a professional and I am an amateur. It is not honorable for him to win against me.

5. Boss, I lost my first kiss...haha

6. Where did this book come from? -----Bought from a street stall-----Pirated goods----Refed copies? Then you are just coming over and reading two pages before you fuck with him.

7. The world is dangerous, so if it doesn’t work, just retreat.

8. My sister has been better than me since she was a child. She can write poetry, draw, and is proficient in addition and subtraction within ten. She even won the third prize in the paper-cutting competition in elementary school (this is really strong)

9. My legs, my black-haired legs that can run 100 meters in 9.5 seconds!

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12. It’s advertising time.

13. As people in the world, righteousness comes first, so what does that mean?

14. Hello, which unit are you from?

15. Let me tell you good news, we are robbing.

16. Young man, May the force be

19. Don’t be too presumptuous, it will be of no use.

20. When he admits the book, he admits defeat!

21. Are you young? It doesn't matter, you will be old in two years.

22. Don’t swear to me, I’m afraid you will be struck by lightning! Source of classic quotations: Whale Water Bar SMS Network

23. I am a very deep person because I live in the basement.

24. It’s almost three, but it’s not enough yet.

25. God is fair because he is unfair to everyone.

26. You don’t have to buy a house unless you deal with your mother-in-law.

27. Rush to go to work in the morning, and rush to get off work after arriving at the company.

28. If one day I have no money, then even 10086 will not care about me.

29. "A Genius", "Two Points in the World", "A Romance of Three Realms", "Four Seasons Station"... Do you also play Lianliankan online games?

30. An expert looks at the doorway, but when traveling, look at the sidewalk.