Whole-language short message

1, a: Think about the deserted university life. Think of wasted college students. C: Think of white college students.

Is it your home, my home or my home tonight? Hanting is also good. That's settled. Maybe seven days. . . .

3. Once I went out to play with my girlfriend, there was a telephone pole on the roadside with a sign on it. When I saw it, it said: tire repair and pump up. It is written vertically. Unexpectedly, my girlfriend read: Abortion, invigorating qi! ! ! A car full of people fainted. . .

May: Because you can't type, draw or file ... why does your boss pay you?

That high salary?

Jane: I won't get pregnant!

The school stipulates that freshmen are not allowed to bring computers. A sister borrowed my notebook. College boys, there are inevitably some movies on the hard disk (you know). The folder was hidden in advance, and it was found to be "hidden and visible" when I returned. There is an extra folder with photos of my sister's mobile phone taking selfies in the bathroom, plus a TXT file that says: Brother, be realistic, men can't be so empty alive!

6. A village elected a village head, and a silly woman said angrily, I agree with anyone, but I can't let my husband do it!

7. A couple can't have children after a long marriage. The woman went to see a doctor on the recommendation of a friend. After a while, the woman became pregnant. When the good news came, the husband was very happy. He said, We finally have a child. You are really great! His wife replied, "not me, but the doctor!" “

8. After the physiology class, a boy pushed the girl down and kissed her. Afterwards, the boy said to the girl, I just want to practice, that's all. After listening to this, the girl pushed the boy down and said, Fail, make up the exam.

9. Send a text message to my brother, saying that you can reply to any content and open the mobile phone newspaper. He replied: I don't want a mobile phone newspaper. Relocation: Congratulations on your successful opening.

10, there is a girl from a suburban county on QQ who always wants to find a rich second generation or something. Just now, she said on the Internet that she had Weibo, and she paid attention to many rich people, and she soon succeeded. I asked Weibo how he could tell whether you had money or not. She said: "The Weibo sent by the iphone client is very rich."

1 1, I just saw a cold knowledge: pigs can't see the sky all their lives. I thought about it, looked up at the sky curiously, and suddenly I was so happy.

12, A: Do you know everything at home? B: It's a bit exaggerated, but they all have their own advantages. My father can play the piano, my mother can play the violin and my sister can sing. A: Wow! What about you? I can stand them. ...

13, Moscow built a subway in its early years, and engineers reported the plan to Stalin for approval. Soon, the plan was released, with Stalin's signature on it. Careful engineers found a circular cup seal on the drawing, so there was a circular ring on the Moscow subway.

14, a man climbed out of the eaves from the window of building 3 1 and seemed to want to jump off the building to commit suicide. The building was crowded with people. A jc and a doctor rushed to the window. He quickly shouted, "Don't come over, or I'll jump at once!" " Jc shook his head and said, "Comrade, the doctor asked me to ask you, are you willing to donate your kidney after death?" "

15, a beautiful girl is preparing to take the lawyer's license exam and studying hard all day. A male colleague teased her after seeing it: the competition in the lawyer industry is fierce. You are so beautiful, you might as well find a good husband. The girl gave him a white look and sighed: You don't know, that industry is more competitive!