Send funny messages

1. Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on the bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbons cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. People ask how they are together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

2. I said, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig!" " From now on, I will call you a pig. Finally one day, you can't help yelling at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

Tomorrow, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying next to your pillow, and there is a suicide note next to you, which reads: I struggled all night, but I can't pierce your face. Your face is too thick, I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I killed myself.

4. One day, a fly mother and son had lunch together.

The son asked the mother fly: Why do we eat shit every day?

Mother fly said angrily, don't say such disgusting things when eating, eat while it's hot! !

A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you! The college student answered the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

6. Two couples get married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly: yuck, you don't know anyone when you take off your clothes!

7. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I feel itchy without stepping on a mouse for a day; C: I don't go shopping several times a day. D: it's getting late. Go home and hug the cat!

8. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver is also furious: I don't see where the fuck you can afford it!

9. Do you have a TV over there? Now, take a quick look at the murdered central Zhao Benshan. Pol.ice blocked the northeast area, dead 19, missing 1 1, cheated 1!

10. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by, and a policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know, I just arrived.

1 1. A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: It hit it off. The boy asked the same question again, so he had to say sadly, can't you leave a crew cut?

12. Wolf cubs are vegetarians from birth. Mother wolf and father wolf racked their brains to train wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, Sirius's parents were happy to see their son chasing rabbits. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit's fierce face and said, boy! Hand over the carrots!

13. In front of the counter of Lamian Noodles's store, a beautiful girl is waiting in line. When she arrived, Master Lamian Noodles asked, Do you want a thick one or a thin one? Girl: I'll eat whatever you pull.

14. A man and a woman are having an affair, and her husband suddenly comes home. The man jumped out of the window without clothes and walked in the street to watch. The man pretended to look at the sky as if nothing had happened: ah, this is the earth. Passers-by said: Cao, install a feather alien.

15. The white rabbit Q B ran after the big wolf, and the big wolf was indignant and chased after him. The rabbit dressed up as a gray rabbit and read the newspaper with glasses. The wolf asked, can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit of the wolf? Wolf shame: I am Kao Hua, so soon?

16. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! Chief: comrades are all tanned! Soldier: The leader is blacker! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, "How well this muscle is trained! "Soldier: Report Chief, I am a female soldier.

17. I saw a coin on the roadside and was about to bend down to pick it up. The result is phlegm. Damn it, who vomited so roundly?

18. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered to him, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

19. The miser was away on business. He was afraid that others would steal the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spat in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited, too!

20. Someone rode a bike into the street, crossed the intersection and spread his hands. The traffic police exclaimed after seeing it: "Good palm!" Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!" "

2 1. The teacher wanted the Sports Committee to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him, "Go and clean up all the girls in the class." The Sports Commission is a little goat and asks, "Which one?" The teacher said, "I know I want you to go!" " "

22. In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to transform! ……