Ask for a good joke to chat with a liar?

This is a true story. One day I received a strange phone call, which sounded like someone I knew, but it was a little different. The following is the story and conversation between me and the liar. Liar: Why? Me: Nothing. Who are you? Liar: What, you don't even recognize my voice? Me: Who the hell are you? I can't think of it at once! Liar: Can you guess? Me: At this time, I reacted. When I met a liar, I casually said a name, "You must be Liu He!" Liar: You remember me! Me: at this time, I knew what I was doing, so I teased the liar and said, "I heard that you were arrested by the police a few days ago for whoring." How did you get out so soon? " "I didn't expect this statement, but it provided the liar with an excuse to cheat. Liar: Yes, that's why I called you. I borrowed 30 thousand yuan from others before I was released on bail pending trial. People are waiting for me to pay back the money. We are old friends. Lend it to me first, and I'll pay you back slowly! Me: Seeing the liar say this, I suddenly had a brainwave and said, "Why are you so stupid? Isn't your brother-in-law in the Interpol Brigade? Why don't you go to him? Maybe if he calls the detention center, you won't have to pay! "Liar: Wash your dirty linen in public, I dare not look for him! Me: You dare not look for him. I'll talk to him and call him right away. Liar: No, you can't! Then I put the phone down. The liar never called me again!

Many years ago, I always got a phone call saying that I was always looking for something at work and asked me to go to his office. That's boring, just talk to each other:

Liar: Are you * *?

Me: Yes, and you are?

Liar: I'm Mr. Chen from your company. Come to my office tomorrow morning.

Me: Mr. Chen, who are you?

liar ...

Liar: How many managers are there in your company?

(Your company)

Me: How many?

Liar: I am Manager Chen who directly manages you.

Me: It's not like Teacher Chen is in charge of me directly.

Liar: Then who cares about you directly?

Me: Manager Li.

Liar: I'm Manager Chen, and I'm Manager Li's immediate supervisor.

Me: Manager Li doesn't belong to Manager Chen either, but Manager Chen belongs to Manager Li. ...

Liar (urgent): I don't care, anyway, you will go to your leadership office tomorrow.

Then hang up.

Once in Guangzhou, I met three BMW drivers who asked me for money. They said they were the chairman of Haier. They came to Guangzhou for a meeting and stayed in a hotel for one night. Then the money was stolen and they borrowed it from me 100 to refuel. They also said they wanted me to leave them a number and ask them to pay back the money. And promised me something to do. I listened carefully and thought about how much tax Haier's chairman had to pay a year, and it was so bad. The government will certainly treat them well, and then I will kindly help them call the police. I didn't expect them to leave before I hung up. Hey ~ I lost a great friend and a good job opportunity.

I have encountered three types of fraud.

Speak Cantonese and Mandarin enthusiastically first. Let me guess who he is. I knew at once that he was a liar. I couldn't help cursing him, so I hung up the phone and left according to their routine. If I guess he is an acquaintance, he will climb down the telephone pole, then enthusiastically say that he is on his way, invite me to dinner tomorrow, and then call the next day, that is, a car accident, being caught playing mahjong, being caught whoring and so on.

Second, I received a text message inexplicably, asking me to transfer the money to an account. I just made an appointment to give away 50 thousand once. No sooner had I hung up than the text message came in. Fortunately, I was ready to make money after dinner, and then the account that really wanted to make money was sent.

Third, pretending to be a leader, let me go to his office tomorrow, but I didn't have a leader and was scolded.

Also recommend stocks, loans, futures, crude oil, precious metals, and make a phone call from time to time. Now, the means of swindlers are endless, and it is impossible to prevent them. I've also met some little liars. Once I was driving on the road and met three men in neat clothes and hats. I speak Mandarin with an accent (the accent of a famous province) and drive a car, saying that I was stolen in a hotel yesterday. I said you can ask your family to send some money. They said they didn't have an ID card or a card. I said I have a card, I can accept it for you, and then I will marry you. When I saw that I really didn't take the bait, it was gone.

1. Once I got a phone call from a swindler, the film was full of southern accents: "Is it a little X?" I am your manager. Come to my office tomorrow. I want to talk to you. "I said," ok, where is it? Can I have food and shelter? Do you need to bring a man? " The other party paused for a few seconds and hung up. ......

2. Last time I received a phone call from a liar: "Is it Mr. xx? Hello, I'm from xx Public Security Department. You have an abnormal consumption record of 10 million overseas. I still call to check with you. " I said, "Yes, what's the matter? Usually it is 100 million, I haven't seen you call me. " Then I heard the liar mutter a few words at that end: "You diaosi still pretend to be addicted." Hang up. ......

When I think about it later, I always feel that my lines were not well played at that time.

3. I once received a phone call from a liar: "Come to my place tomorrow." Me: "No, everyone has gone now." Liar: "Come back tomorrow morning." Me: "Why, you met another fox tonight? Tell me honestly who he is! " "The liar froze:" 666, your road is deeper than mine. You'd better not come. "Hung up the phone.

Thank you for reading. During this period, I won many awards. I feel that in a few years, Ma Yun will be my brother. Haha, the third bunker. Look at the text!

1 liar: I, Jason, married a wealthy businessman in Macao, but my husband can't have children. I hope good people can help me!

Me: What do you mean? How can I help you?

Liar: I want a child. As long as you can help me realize this dream, I will give you 5 million!

Me: Mom! Mom!

The liar said, "Hello, I'm from the Municipal Anti-drug Brigade. I found a batch of contraband. The account was handled with your ID card, and now you need to provide proof of account opening. ,,,,,, "before he finished, I strike table:" Fuck, don't you dare to detain Lao Tzu's goods? Ask your director to explain it to me! " Then I slammed the phone across the street. I guess I was scared haha

I received a phone call before, and the man came up with an accent and said, "Hello, Teacher Liu!" "

"Who are you?"

"I can't even hear my own voice. Mr. Wang is so forgetful! " As soon as I heard it, I thought of the past and vaguely felt that I had met a liar, so I had a plan.

"Oh, you are the old bastard in Shenzhen!"

The other party was shocked: "Yes, it's me. You finally heard it. "

"Sorry, Lao Wang, who told you to change the number again?"

"Oh, yes, I changed my number again,,," I interrupted him and asked directly, "Lao Wang, how is your mother's illness?"

He paused: "Oh. ,,,, or the same, "

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it. By the way, has your dad's car accident been solved? "

"Well, almost,,," I can hear it, and I'm a little angry. Haha, I'm laughing to death here.