Send me a joke that you think is the most classic. (Meat is also acceptable)

Men and Women

What is the difference between men and women?

More than what is lacking is more than what is lacking.

Why do men and women get married?

Because men want to know the depth of women, and women want to know the length of men.

A man is a pug at twenty, a wolfdog at thirty, a mad dog at forty, and a mangy dog ??at fifty.

When a woman is eighteen years old, it is rugby, and many people are grabbing it; when she is twenty, it is basketball, and a dozen or so people are grabbing it; when she is forty, it is table tennis, which is pushed back and forth; when she is fifty, it is golf. Hit it very far.

Toilet Anecdotes

There is a new toilet in a certain place. People often urinate and defecate without flushing. The principal wrote in front of the toilet door: "Flush when you come, flush when you go, so that the feces can be clean."

Everyone get up

A man went to a psychiatrist and told Suffering from insomnia. After some discussion, the doctor advised him to hypnotize himself by talking to himself while sleeping, which would work.

At night, the man did as the doctor said, and said to his toes: "Sleep on your toes!" Then he said: "Sleep on your feet!" "Sleep on your legs!" He continued to his eyes. When his wife came into the room wearing transparent pajamas, he jumped up and shouted: "Everyone wake up! Everyone wake up!"

Three teachers

There were three teachers, one of whom was mathematics The teachers, a Chinese teacher and a physical education teacher, on this day, the school gave out bonuses, and each of them got ten yuan. The three of them came together and said, "Ten yuan is too little, why don't we get together and go find the chickens." Three Everyone agrees. When they arrived at the brothel, since the money was too little, they could find one. The three of them discussed that when one was done, they would switch to another one, and each would take a turn. However, due to time constraints, they would come out on the count of three. The Chinese teacher went first, and the "one, two, three" was over. The Chinese teacher felt that he hadn't felt anything yet, but he had already counted to three, so he had no choice but to go out. The math teacher was the second one. He was smarter. "1.1, 1.2, 1.3..." lasted longer, but he quickly counted to three. He had no choice but to come out. The physical education teacher went in, and the other two teachers were waiting outside. They were waiting on the left until he didn't come out, and on the right when he didn't come out. They felt strange, so the two of them went in. When they saw it, the physical education teacher was still doing it, counting "one" in his mouth. Two one, one two one, one two one......"

The nun's method

A young girl came to the monastery to practice. After a while, she couldn't stand the poor life and began to miss the days when she had a man. She was very distressed and asked the old nun what she should do. The old nun took out a pistol and said to her: "When you miss a man, find a quiet place, take out the gun and shoot Tianming. This can release the noise in your heart." So the young nun took the photo. Did it. Whenever she felt depressed, she would go to the open space at the back of the mountain and shoot into the sky. As expected, she felt much calmer.

But gradually, she found that one shot could no longer calm her heart, and she had to fire several more shots each time. Later, when the bullets in a pistol were exhausted, she was still not Feeling restless, the young nun came to the old nun's residence to look for her.

When she walked into the old nun's house, she was shocked. I saw the old nun with two submachine guns on her shoulders, a ring of grenades and full of bullets wrapped around her waist, and she was dragging a cannon hard! !

Conductor

Because Xiao Ming is young, he sleeps on a small bed next to his parents' bed.

One night, after his parents went to bed, Xiao Ming found a hole in his mosquito net, and a mosquito was flying in and out of the hole to play games. Xiao Ming thought it was fun, so he followed the mosquito. They were shouting in and out: "Go in! Come out! Go in! Come out!...!" Suddenly, his father opened the mosquito net and shouted to Xiao Ming: "I don't need your orders, go to sleep!" ”

Family Planning

The family planning working group came to a small mountain village to promote birth control measures, but the doctors found it difficult to convince the women here to take birth control pills, so they decided to educate Men wear condoms.

A villager gave birth to eight children in eight years. The doctor told him that he really needed to take contraceptive measures. He told the villager that as long as he wore condoms, his wife would be pregnant in the future. There will be no more children.

A month later, the working team discovered that the villager's wife was pregnant again. The doctor was very angry and called the man over and asked him why he didn't wear a condom.

The villager replied: "I did wear it, but after six days, I couldn't hold in my urine, so I had to cut off the front part."

Breastfeeding

A certain young woman has always gone her own way, even if she feeds her child human breast milk in public, she never hesitates.

Once, he and his husband took their child to a restaurant for dinner. The child started crying due to hunger, so the young woman lifted up the corner of her clothes to feed the child.

The waiter in the restaurant walked beside her and politely asked her not to breastfeed in public.

The young woman was very angry and said: "Do you think feeding human breast milk is obscene and indecent?"

"No!"

The waiter politely said Pointing to the notice on the wall, he said, "But it is forbidden to eat food that is not provided by this restaurant.

"

Uh-huh

Xiao Ming went out to play one day...but when he got lost, he asked to stay at a house for a night...

So the owner kindly kept him...

But there were only two rooms...

So he and his daughter were arranged to live there In the same room...

Halfway through the night, Xiao Ming suddenly wanted to do that kind of thing to the little girl, but the little girl said to him...

You Don't be like this or I will tell my dad...

Then Xiao Ming had to give up...

Halfway through his sleep, Xiao Ming suddenly wanted to do something to the little girl." "Uh-huh"....

Of course the little girl refused, so she told Xiao Ming again...

I really want to tell my dad. ....

Then Xiao Ming had no choice but to give up...

But in the end, Xiao Ming couldn't help but just gave him "Uh-huh"

After it was over, the little girl said to Xiao Ming... I want to do it again...

So the two of them... After it was over, the little girl said to Xiao Ming again ....

I want to do it again... So Xiao Ming had to do it again...

After this time, the little girl said to Xiao Ming... I want to do it again...

This time Xiao Ming said to the little girl...

If you want to be like this, I will really tell your father. ......

Inflatable

There was a woman who felt that her breasts were too small, so she went to a breast augmentation center to seek help from a doctor. The doctor asked her which surgery she wanted to do. Planting twin breasts? But the woman didn’t know which one was better, so she asked the doctor. The doctor thought for a while and decided to do [inflatable] surgery for the woman!

A few hours later, The operation was successfully completed. The doctor said to the woman:

"When you want to make your breasts bigger, just swing your arms outward."

After the woman thanked the doctor, she went home happily...

One day, the woman went to the bar to catch a guy. Soon, she caught a rich young man.

While chatting, the two of them arrived at the hotel!

After arriving at the hotel, the woman took off her clothes, quickly waved her arms to fill up the air, and turned around to get ready for Yanhao. At that time,

seeing that the young man’s feet were repeatedly doing splitting movements, the woman asked him what he was doing. The young man replied sheepishly:

"I'm inflating!"

Women vs Men

Woman: My dear, you must love me well after you get married. Oh!

Man: Yes, I will love you well. I will love you well after marriage...!

Woman: Really?, I am so happy. ...!

Man: But... never let your newlywed husband know...

Running naked

There is A woman secretly hangs out with her lover while her husband is at work. One day when the two of them were in bed, the woman heard the sound of her husband's car coming back. She called her lover anxiously: "Hurry up and take your clothes and jump out of the window."

His lover took a look. : "It's raining heavily outside and you want me to jump out?" "If my husband catches us two, we will definitely die." the woman shouted.

Her lover had no choice but to pick up his clothes and jump out of the window. As a result, he jumped into a group of marathon runners. He had no choice but to join in the running while carrying his clothes.

A contestant asked him: "Are you used to running naked?" He replied breathlessly: "Yes, this way you can feel the wind gently blowing against your skin."

Another runner asked the streaking man again: "Are you used to holding your clothes in your hands when you run?" He replied breathlessly, "Yes, in this way, the race is over. I can just put on my clothes and drive home."

The man asked again: "Do you usually run with a condom?"

The naked man said: "Only Wear it only when it rains".