The words of routine people are very funny to friends.

The words of routine people are very funny to friends.

The words of routine people are very funny to friends, and life is full of routines. Routine can refer to well-designed chat methods. Of course, routines are also a kind of knowledge and skills, and the effects brought by routines are good and bad. The following routines are funny and funny to my friends.

The words of the routine people are very funny, very funny. Friend 1 1. You lost ten knives in the opposite direction. You caught two. How much is left?

Eight (Dad)

You: That's right, son.

You lost ten knives in the opposite direction, caught two, how many are left?

Eight (Dad)

You're right, son,

Honey, do you like playing with water?

A: Yes.

You: Then go and wash the dishes.

Honey, do you like playing with water?

A: Yes,

You: Then you wash the dishes.

Imagine what you would do if someone tried to cut you.

A: Running, of course.

You: You are so stupid. Stop thinking.

Imagine what you would do if someone tried to interrupt you.

A: Running, of course.

You: You are so stupid. Stop thinking.

Honey, don't be angry. Let me bark for you like a dog.

A: Yes, yes,

You: Why are you so powerful?

Honey, don't be angry, I'll learn to scream for you.

A: Yes, yes,

You: Why are you so nice?

Give you a magic trick to make you forget that you are not a pig.

A: I am not a pig.

You: Look, you forgot again.

Give you a magic trick to make you forget that you are not a pig.

I am not a pig,

You: You forgot again.

6. Both the cat and the rabbit were caught, but the pig ran away. Do you know why?

A: I don't know.

You: Because the pig came to listen to my story.

The rabbit was caught and only the pig ran away. Do you know why?

I don't know.

You: Because pigs listen to me,

7. Do you find that I love you very much?

A: No.

You: Understand, understand, after all, fatherly love is silent.

Do you find I love you so much?

A: No,

You: understand, understand, after all, father loves silently,

8. Let me ask you a question. What's the name of the monkey in Journey to the West?

The Monkey King.

You: Grandpa is here.

What's the name of the monkey in Journey to the West?

The Monkey King,

You: Grandpa is here,

9. What's the middle between one and three?

A: Two.

You: Open your eyes and see clearly, obviously following.

What is between one and three?

A: Two,

You: open your eyes and see clearly that it is with,

10, play a game, you praise me, I praise you.

You look great.

You: You have a good eye.

What is between one and three?

A: Two,

You: open your eyes and see clearly that it is with,

If you are a routine person, it is funny and funny. Friend 2 First, the whole person is funny and deceptive.

1, your little cutie is online, and the weather is dry, so be careful that she gets into trouble.

2, the latest incisive humor, if you can eat super, is it super?

When the weather clears up, maybe I will love you again.

I didn't say you are shameless. I mean you're shameless.

It was not the alarm clock that woke me up in the morning, but the sigh of a little ant ten meters away.

6. If something is lost, Fiona Fang is only a hundred miles away. If love is lost, it is the end of the world.

7. I will write the names of my predecessors on Kongming lanterns and send you to heaven one by one.

8. Class teacher, don't change seats for nothing. No matter where I sit, I can talk to people around me.

9. Teasing children must be% successful, and you must laugh, or you will stand there like a mentally retarded person.

The three goals of 10 and 2008 are to buy one million cars. Buy a 10,000 yuan apartment. Find someone to lend me 10 thousand.

1 1. Do you know why San Xiao is crying? Because Xiao Si is back. Do you know why Xiao Si is crying? That's because the boss is back.

12, if dad doesn't do well in the exam tomorrow, there will be no dad like me. Son. oh How was the exam the next day, father and son? Son, who are you?

13 actually, I feel that the scariest thing for a group of people to sing is not that they don't know any songs, but that a person who can't hear all the songs can know them. Besides, he has no desire to express himself.

14, teacher "If the headmaster and I fall into the water, who will you save first?" Xiao Ming: "It is rare to have this opportunity. Of course I jumped down and swam around in front of you. " The teacher "get out.

15, I sleep with my wife and children at night, and my daughter sleeps in the middle. Seeing her daughter sleeping in a lovely way, I kissed her. My wife saw it and whispered to me, let her go and come at me.

16, the basic method of raising children in parents' generation is similar to raising dogs. It's time for dinner. It's time to pay for school. If I bite someone outside, I'll pay for it. I should give someone a vaccination and give me a beating when I'm done. I wasn't allowed to go out and pounce on that bitch until I was old. When I get old, tell me to go out and breed by myself at once.

17, during the Chinese New Year, almost all relatives are asking where to work. I am tired of answering. I work as an ADC in Bill Gewater. When the elders heard their names and positions, they all thought they were Fortune 500 multinational companies, so they didn't ask anything else.

18, I packed my clothes in the morning and saw my husband had two pairs of underwear with holes. This is very distressing. I go shopping and play mahjong for beautiful women every day, and I really ignore him. I quickly threw his underwear into the trash can, and later I had to buy him two better underwear ... Just after playing mahjong, I silently picked up my husband's underwear in the trash can.

19, after Valentine's Day, followed by Women's Day, which means that after Valentine's Day, you become a woman. After Women's Day, it is April Fool's Day, that is, after you become a woman, you will find yourself cheated. After April Fool's Day, it is Labor Day, that is, when you find yourself cheated, you can only be inferior to cattle and horses. After Labor Day, it is Children's Day. Oh, my God, you have to have a baby. are all

20. When I was at school, I donated blood in the school square. CC gave me a manicure set and CC gave me a watch. A MM in the next class felt very happy when she heard about it. She ran to the nurse and asked, "What does CC send?" The nurse said calmly, "Send a coffin."

Second, the routine is funny.

1, I'm lying in the dormitory. A roommate asked me where I was from, and I said I was from Zhejiang. Then he said that there was another person with glasses in our dormitory who was also from Zhejiang, so I sat up and stared at him.

2. One day, my dad caught me bringing a female ticket home. He said, don't worry about my son, I won't tell my mother. Let's keep it a little secret between us. I said, thank you, dad. All right. The next morning, when the whole family was having dinner together, my mother asked me, where did the strawberry on your neck come from? I said: this is a little secret between my father and me. Then the atmosphere at home became a little strange.

Today, someone asked me if I change my glasses every 60 days. I went back to the moon for a month. She said, but I didn't bring it at night.

4. I went shopping with my first love today and bumped into my wife. When I didn't know how to explain it, my wife said, what a coincidence to go shopping with your girlfriend. At this time, my first love leaned on me and said, yes, your husband is not with you. The wife said: My husband went to walk the dog.

Mother went to mend a pair of trousers and asked me to help her get some change in her bag. As soon as I opened the bag, my mother asked how much change was left. I told you there was 2.50 dollars left. Don't come back at noon if you don't have enough money Just help those aunts make some clothes!

6. My little nephew is eating snacks in bed. I thought I would wait beside him to watch the drama, and when he said that his mother hadn't come in for a long time, I also put a potato chip ... With the footsteps of slippers from far to near, my little nephew quickly put the food beside me and got out of bed quickly, far away from me ... "Mom, my aunt is eating in bed ..."

7.MM Buyer: Boss, are you from Shenzhen?

Customer service of online shop: Have you met Shenzhen people?

MM buyer: no.

Online customer service: Then I don't have either. .

MM buyer: Then why did you go to Shenzhen?

Online shop customer service: just to contribute to Shenzhen's economic construction.

MM buyer:. . . . . .

8.MM buyer: I might as well buy a laptop for such an expensive mobile phone.

Customer service: That's right. I imagine it must be cool for you to stand in a crowd and open your notebook and stick it to your ear to answer the phone.

9.MM Buyer: Boss, is the quality of this mobile phone call good?

Online customer service: Samsung's products are generally good.

MM Buyer: None of the mobile phones I bought works, and I can't hear what others are saying.

Online shop customer service: Oh!

MM buyer: What do you recommend me to buy?

Online shop customer service: hearing AIDS!

10, MM buyer: boss, can I ask you a question? Mainland banks, Hong Kong banks, Asia-Pacific banks and European banks have better quality?

Online customer service: it's all the same, and it's the best!

MM buyer: pour!

Routine people's words are funny, and friends are funny. Do you dare to use it to trick your friends?

1, I don't think you know how much I love you.

I don't think you know how much I love you.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, that's right.

Because fatherly love is silent.

Because fatherly love is silent.

In fact, we met more than a thousand years ago.

In fact, we have known each other for over a thousand years.

How is that possible?

How is that possible?

I remember you always liked to chase me back then.

I remember you always liked chasing me at that time.

At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

At that time, my name was Lu

I want to ask you, if one day you have no feet, do you still need to wear shoes?

I want to ask you, if one day you have no feet, do you still need to wear shoes?

This can't be true.

No!

So what are you wearing, a bra?

What bra are you wearing?

Dear, do you like playing with water?

Honey, do you like playing with water?

I like it.

I like it

Then go and wash the dishes.

Then go and wash the dishes.

Do you think you are my best friend?

Do you think you are my best friend?

Of course it is.

Of course it is!

Oh, I just heard someone say that dogs are man's best friends.

Oh, I just heard that dogs are man's best friends.

6. Let me tell you the advantages of my boyfriend. I think it will be summed up in six words: "I am too good at choosing a girlfriend."

Let me talk about the advantages of my boyfriend, which I think can be summed up in six words: "What a good girlfriend."

7. Let's play a game of mutual praise today! You say first

Let's play a game of mutual praise! You say first

You look really good.

You look great.

Ha ha ha, you also have a good eye.

Ha ha ha, you have good taste,

8. I'll give you a question and see if you can answer it correctly. I have ten umbrellas. I sent two. How much is left?

I'll give you a question and see if you can answer it. I have ten umbrellas. Take out two. How many are left?

Baba (dad)

Eight (Dad)

Hey, what a good boy!

Oh, good boy!

9. I want to ask you a question, but you just need to answer whether I know it or not.

I want to ask you a question, but all you have to do is answer whether I know or not.

line

okay

Does your family know that you are so stupid? ……

You are so stupid, does your family know? 、、、

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I am chatting with the most beautiful and gentle woman in the world.

I'm talking to the most beautiful and gentle woman in the world.

Are you talking about me? Oh, I'm embarrassed to say it.

Are you talking about me? Oh, everyone else is embarrassed to say

No, she didn't answer me, so I must talk to you.

No, she didn't answer me, so I have to talk to you.

1 1, Tortoise and Rabbit are going to compete again, but this time a pig referee is invited. Guess who will win in the end?

As long as he answers, that means he is a pig referee, hahaha.

The tortoise-rabbit race is coming again, but this time, they invited a pig referee. Guess who will win in the end?

(As long as he answers, it means he is a pig judge, hahaha)

12, do you usually wipe your ass with your right hand or left hand after going to the toilet?

Do you usually go to the toilet, wipe your ass with your right hand or your left hand?

Use your right hand.

Use your right hand!

Oh, we all use paper, so you wipe it with your hands.

Oh, we use paper, so you use your hands,

13, honey, today I will give you a magic trick to make you forget the fact that you are a pig.

Dear, today I will do a magic trick for you to make you forget that you are a pig.

I am not a pig.

I am not a pig,

Look, it's amazing You forget it now.

You see, this is amazing, and now you forget,

14, can I ask you something?

Can I ask you for something?

What do you want?

What do you want?

I want you.

Want you!

15, I'm really sorry if my successful routine comes to you.

I'm really, really sorry if I succeed in your routine.

Because I did it on purpose.

Because I did it on purpose.

hahahaha

hahahaha