Funny jokes (a collection of funny jokes)

1. Eating an apple a day can drive away the doctor. What's even more awesome is that eating a head of garlic a day can drive everyone away.

2. My father asked me what I want to pursue in life. I answered money and beautiful women, and my father slapped me in the face fiercely. I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively. Chinese characters are broad and profound.

3. Do you know what the Sha Monk carries in Journey to the West? : "Clothes." No, they haven't changed their clothes. : "Food." No, they still need to fast. : "Cosmetics." No, you've seen pigs and monkeys wearing makeup, or you've seen monks wearing makeup. : "What is that." Idiot, don't you know there are four of them? Of course it is "Mahjong". The journey to the West is so long, how can we do it without entertainment facilities?

4. You are not allowed to speak ill of your friends in front of me, otherwise I will not be able to help but talk about it with you.

5. Although the school is very poor, it never hesitates to print examination papers. This makes me very touched. The school is not easy!

6. Yesterday my son asked me: "Dad, do you think I can get a discount on my weight?" I replied: "Silly boy, how can I get a discount on my weight?" My son then said: "Mom said I should lose a little weight. Eat some rice, or else you will be laughed at by children for being so fat and big-eared like me. I also want to discuss it with rice and let him give me a discount if I eat more!”

7. What is bravery? Even though I know that I will gain weight after eating this meal, I still choose to continue eating.

8. If life deceives you, don’t be depressed, pick up the beauty camera and deceive life!

9. My mother liked to play mahjong, but after I was born, my mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and the whole family, because she felt that playing me was more fun.

10. If you feel that life is boring and you can’t live anymore, pick up the mirror and look at yourself. With such a beautiful and lovely face, are you willing to let it down or ruin it?

11. I am still young, love can arrive later, but express delivery and takeout cannot be delayed even a little bit.

12. I have admired three men, one is Xu Xian, the other is Dong Yong, and the third is Ning Caichen. One dares to love snakes, one dares to love immortals, and the last one doesn't even let go of ghosts.

Thirteen. A skinny boy left home and became fat when he returned home. The local accent has not changed and there are piles of meat. The children don’t recognize each other and ask the fat man who he is.

14. People rely on looks, romance, and money to fall in love. When you talk about a partner, you rely on the other person to be blind.

15. In today's era, if one day men and women are truly equal, I think it will not be women who will be happy, but us men.

16. The unsolved mysteries in the world, the wife is angry again for some reason.

17. When they are passionately in love, lovers sigh, what kind of virtue did they inspire in the previous life that allowed us to meet each other. After getting married, they all lamented what evil they had done in their previous lives!

18. The Statue of Liberty holds a book in one hand and a torch in the other to tell us: only when there is a power outage is it suitable to study. If there is no power outage, what else can you learn? Honor of Kings makes an appointment.

19. I’ve been thinking about you lately. I know it’s not good, but if I don’t tell you what’s in my heart, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I won’t force it. If you’re really in trouble, my five dollars Don't pay back the money.

20. I saw a man and a woman fighting at a barbecue stall last night. If they lost, they had to agree to a condition. In the end, the boy won. The boy looked at the girl and said: Are any conditions acceptable? The girl nodded shyly. The boy said happily: "Then let's not go AA, you pay the bill!"

21. Who said I can’t play a musical instrument? I did a good job of retreating.

Twenty-two. Losing a pound of meat now is like playing with your life, and gaining a pound of meat is like playing. Fortunately, it is not a pig, otherwise it would have been dead.

23. In the past, I had no criteria for choosing a mate. But when I met you, I told myself that I couldn’t have your determination.

24. Ninety-nine percent of the problems in the world can be solved with money, and the remaining one percent requires more money.