A hilarious copy of the classic

2. The recent portrayal of life is: take a hundred steps after a meal and have a good appetite after midnight snack.

3. In the synchronized diving in China, the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law should be the best partners, because they have been diving at the same time for decades.

4. If the country scores your looks, your looks can be guaranteed.

I went to buy pork today. The price of pork has gone up. I asked: proprietress, are you going too far? Boss: This pork is a dream pork, so it is more expensive!

6. The teacher said, "Some of my classmates have been admitted to universities, and some have become migrant workers. Why? " They said together, "It also comes from the chicken's ass. Some are eggs, but some are dung. Why? "

7. I tell my son a lot of truth every day. I hope he will understand as soon as possible that people like me who only preach all day will not succeed.

Eight. When handing out English test papers, Xiao Ming got three points for a multiple-choice question. The English teacher growled at the podium: What can I do with 3 points? Xiao Ming's weak answer: rob the landlord ...

9. Today, I was crowded to work by bus, only to hear an uncle say, "We are in no hurry, let the young people go first, they are in a hurry to go to work." At that time, I thought my uncle was so handsome, and then he said, "Anyway, no matter how many nights I drive, there are seats."

10. At home, I kept surfing the Internet when I had a fever, and sneezing at school thought it was terminal cancer.

1 1. "What did you eat? Fart is so smelly? " "What, you still want the formula?"

12. quarrel with your wife. She went back to her parents' house in a rage. I quickly went to my mother-in-law with a gift: "She rarely comes back once, so please stay with her for a few more days!" " My mother-in-law gave me a white look: "If I can stand her, can I marry her to you?"

Thirteen. Don't trust any girl with a nice voice. Why? Because I'm a courier.

14. Being single is not difficult. The difficult thing is to deal with those who try their best to make you end your single life, such as your seven aunts and eight aunts!

15. crossing the road that day, thinking about things and not looking at the traffic lights. A car suddenly stopped beside me, and then I heard a cordial greeting: What is Big Brother busy with? Is this going to be reborn?

16. Some people like to take advantage. As soon as they heard that there was a discount for painless abortion, they wanted to have children at once.

17. I bought a bottle of rat poison, which said it was pure natural and did not contain any additives. Why? Still afraid that mice are unhealthy?

18. When a girl who has a crush on her confesses to her, she should simply push her to the wall and say, "I will support you in the future." Say that finish, kiss her, and don't give her a chance to refuse and think. That's what I did. My face is swollen!

19. Men's business is reflected in busy work, while women's business is reflected in salty cooking.

Twenty. When others get on the bus to practice driving, the first sentence is "strike a light, step on the clutch, put in gear, loosen the clutch and start." And when I get on the bus and practice driving, the first sentence is usually to shout "get out of the way!" Make way! "

Wife: "Husband, when you are chasing others, every time you see me, you say your heart is beating. Now it has changed." Me: "No! I still keep jumping. Every time I go shopping with you, I jump and jump, and I almost jump out. "

22. My wife talks endlessly. I said you can't talk less, but she just kept talking. I can't help but fart. She left with her nose covered. Alas! It's better to talk now than fart.

Twenty-three I went home for dinner yesterday and wore a new skirt. I said shamelessly in front of my father, "Dad, look how beautiful your daughter is!" " As a result, my father gave my mother a sidelong look and said faintly, "If your father had married a beautiful wife more than 20 years ago, you would be more beautiful now. "

24. I dialed the radio station: "Moderator, today is my wife's birthday, and I want to order a song." The host asked, "Which song do you like, sir?" I said, "My wife has a good figure, good temper, intelligence and knowledge, and is the most beautiful woman in the world. Marrying her is my greatest happiness! " The host asked again, "So, what song did you order?" ""Yoga Lin's lies. "