Funny sketch

Scene: Decorate into a cafe.

Props: a table, two chairs, two cups of coffee, napkins.

People: Huahua, waiter.

(Chasing the light in the dark field) A girl came on stage with a sign that said, "Act I Mocha-a playboy.

The next light is on.

Lala: (sitting in front of the table, looking around, banging her fingers on the table).

Huahua: (shaking his ass from the background with his mobile phone): "Huahua? Of course, it's my real name (sitting in the chair in front of Lala) ... Laughing ... because ... I won't tell you ... very ... Okay, okay, I have something to do. I'll call you later ... boom! ! "

Lala: (to herself) "It seems to have changed again!"

Huahua: (Huahua puts away her mobile phone and blinks her charming eyes. By default. Then I took out my makeup mirror and continued taking pictures. Hey, I look good today!

Lala: "What do you want to change this time?"

Huahua: "What's it like?"

[Lala, imitate the way she just called: "Shh! That's it! "

Huahua: "Oh-you mean he ... I don't know. I just bought a bottle of vinegar for my mother. I met him in the supermarket. "

Lala: "You know your boyfriend as fast as lightning! He is a shopping guide? "

Huahua: "It seems not. When I paid the money, he came back to the cashier for some change ... "

Lala: pour!

Huahua: (Infinitely affectionate) "Looking into his eyes, I knew he must be the candidate for my 38th boyfriend! His English name is Man-a real man. " Just then, the text message rang, and Huahua bowed her head and whispered, "Weather forecast: I will miss you a little during the day from tonight to tomorrow, and I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Because of long-term depression, it will become a crazy dream at night, and the mood will be reduced by five degrees. It is expected that this weather will continue to see you! " )

Lala: "You just met. So hot? ! "

Huahua: "No, this is the 26th."

Lala: "I admire you, so many people owe you a clear figure!" " "

Huahua: "To exercise your memory, you should start from a little bit!" "

Lala: (coming down again)! After thinking about it, I asked, "You have so many boyfriends, which one do you want most?"

Huahua: (thinking) "Ah, well, I hope he is as slim as a cruiser, as wide as an aircraft carrier, as agile as a torpedo boat doing housework and as quiet as a submarine ..."

Lala: "It seems to be the navy! Well, what if he is as wide as an aircraft carrier, as brave as a torpedo boat, as powerful as a cruiser and as quiet as a submarine when doing housework? "

Huahua: "Without saying anything, tie up the kick board and send him into the sea!" " "

Lala: "That's hard."

Waiter: (I) "What can I get you, ladies?"

Lala Huahua said in unison, "Mocha!"

Attendant: (Northeast accent to audience) "Why do playboy girls like mocha!" (End)

Lala: (asking for flowers with a sigh) "Oh, I envy you. I haven't been in love since I was so big. Can you tell me what it's like to love someone? "

Attendant: (serving coffee and affectionately to the audience) "To love someone is to hold her hand and send her home!" " "Huahua got up to cooperate and shook hands with the waiter.

Lala: (disapprovingly) "You can take me home, but don't hold hands."

Waiter: (sweet cheeks) "To love someone is to do nothing but miss her all day!" " "Huahua danced in front of him.

Lala: "Is it possible? Deceive children! "

Attendant: "To love someone is to send her an email every morning and tell her that I love you." (sour and embarrassed).

[Huahua cooperates to play computer.

Lala: "Bro, she will destroy the mailbox, because it is full of junk mail like you."

Attendant: (narcissistic to sleep) "To love someone is to put her picture on the pillow. She is the first to see it every day and the last to see it. " Huahua stood beside him and made a silly gesture, pretending to be a photo.

Lala: "My God! Aren't you tired of it? "

Attendant: "To love someone is to always want to know what she is suffering, what are you doing, and do you miss me?" Huahua ran to the corner of the stage and wriggled around like a little girl.

Lala: (imitating his accent) "I'm probably dating someone else, so I won't miss you."

Attendant: "to love someone is to call her only two minutes later!" " "The waiter and Huahua pretend to chat on the mobile phone, so sweet.

Lala: "Save your phone bill! It is not an open exemption for her to turn off her mobile phone! "

Attendant: "To love someone is to kiss her gently."

Huahua: (running to the waiter to kiss, then stopping) "this-forget it."

Attendant: (excited in vain, then immediately turned into tenderness) "Look down again-someone with love is holding her gently from behind and saying I love you in her ear when she washes the dishes." Huahua cooperated and the waiter hugged her gently from behind.

Lala: (striking table) "Is it nice? ! If I am sure, I will say, "Don't be so vain, just wash the dishes if you love me!"! "

Attendant: (thinking hard about writing letters) "To love someone is to write her a letter at two o'clock in the evening and give it to her the next day." (Pretend to give flowers napkins. Huahua shyly accepted it, ran to Lala like a little girl and handed the paper to Lala. )

Lala: (holding the paper carefully) "There are more than sixty typos again. You'd better write them later when you are awake during the day."

Attendant: "To love someone is to put your clothes on her." On Huahua's shoulder, Huahua looked at him affectionately.

Lala: "What about you? With bare arms? ! "

[The waiter and Huahua ignore each other and look at each other affectionately.

Waiter: (stuttering) "To love someone ... is ... just ..."

Huahua: (affectionate) "Just ... be with him ..."

[When the music started, the lights were dim and the light was chased. Huahua took the initiative to roll up the waiter and danced. The waiter moved mechanically with the pace of the flowers.

Huahua: "I finally found that gentle, delicate, sensitive, affectionate and affectionate person."

Attendant: (Stop, the music stops, scratching his head and stuttering) "That, that young lady, that's not right, sister. I must declare that what I just said ... was not my idea. That's ... all from my father's second uncle. He may have retired, but if you want to see him, I can find his phone number. "

Huahua: "My God!"

Attendant: "Don't look at my second uncle. He is very fashionable. He drinks a whole cup of coffee when he is free, just like you! "

Hua Hua: (exaggerating) "Huh? ! "

[Black field.

Act II Latte

Scene: Decorate into a living room.

Props: loveseat, coffee table, remote control.

Personality: wife, husband and man.

[The girl chasing the light in the dark holds a sign that reads: "Latte in the second act-tasteless love.

The next light is on.

Huahua, male: (sitting on the sofa, each holding an armrest).

Huahua: (constantly changing channels with the remote control, Mann propped his head and watched TV listlessly).

Huahua: "Dude, I'm thirsty!" "

Man: (quietly getting up, holding a coffee cup for a while and putting it in front of Huahua).

Huahua: "Not a latte! Since I met you, it's always latte, latte, latte! Almost became a blacksmith! Boss, please change the pattern? "

Man: (slowly) "Before you met me, you only drank mocha and enjoyed it."

Huahua: "Mocha is delicious, with cream and chocolate. Who is like your latte, as light as tea that has been soaked for n times! " "

Man: "What an exaggeration! At the beginning, you yourself said that the faint feeling of latte made you feel a sense of security and belonging at home ... so you chose me among so many boyfriends. "

Huahua: "Hum, who knows that you are really as boring as your English name Man!" "

Man: (posing deeply) "Full! Real men are so cool. "

Huahua: "It's cool. I almost cried. (to the audience, rap music) The wedding day was particularly boring. Every day is the same hard work. I don't bother to look at his face when I watch TV every day! (Music stops, to the audience) You say, if nothing happens, I won't get married! Oh, now I regret that my intestines are green! I miss being surrounded by 58 boyfriends. "

Man: "38!"

Huahua: "I am happy to say 58!" "

M: (to the audience) "Marriage is like this. There was nothing wrong with it at first, but then we started quarreling. Some people get angry at night and will make up in a few days. "

Huahua: "Go! I'm tired of watching you. Stay away from me! "

Man: "Let everyone see how annoying I am? You forget that when I was in love, you said I had eight advantages! "

Huahua: "Eight advantages? I believe you have eight oil stains on you. (pointing to his T-shirt) Look, let everyone have a look and you will know what you ate in the morning! "

Man: "I really have eight advantages! Please allow me to finish. "

Huahua: "Yes, be brief!" "

Man: (stands up) "First of all, I am strong!" "

Huahua: "Hum, yes, I am still alive after being dumped by a girl for 45 times!" " "

Man: "That's because they don't have your eyes! Then I like to be clean. "

Huahua: "Yes, that's true. There are many fish in the sea. Can't take a bath every day! " "

Man: "I am decisive!" "

Huahua: "Yes, pay the bill immediately after shopping, eat immediately when you are hungry, and never miss eating and drinking."

Man: "I am brave!" "

Huahua: "How dare you say?" ? ! Yes, I know. He helped some girls zip up the back, and as a result, he came back with Wuzhishan! "

Man: "I ... I save water!" "

Huahua: "Well, yes, I never wash my hands after defecation!" " "

Man: "Everyone says I am sunny!" "

Huahua: "Look, everyone, it's as black as charcoal. Can it not be sunny? "

Man: "What article is it?"

Huahua: "Article 7 has arrived. Anything else? We are all ears! "

M: (thinking) "I am tolerant!" "

Huahua: "You are nearsighted and can't see anything clearly. Of course you are tolerant. "

Man: "There is another important thing. I think I should be a romantic! "

Huahua: "I'm going to throw up! Romantic? ! What about you? ! Once on my birthday, he bought flowers-fake. "

Man: "That's called staying young forever."

Huahua: "I also bought wine-Hengshui Laobaigan."

Man: "that's called good quality and low price."

Huahua: "There are noodles-instant noodles or plain clothes."

Man: "Yes, you must eat noodles for your birthday!" "

Huahua: "Noodles, when it comes to eating noodles, people always eat noodles or Zhajiang Noodles. This so-called romantic man likes to eat stinky tofu noodles, and he likes it after eating it ... "

Man: (opens his mouth and breathes intoxicated) "Ha ……" (Huahua holds her nose to get out of the way).

Man: "The steam over there is so steaming, and the smell of stinky tofu scares you ..." Huahua: "I warn you, if you do this again, I will put you in the sauce jar of the winery!"

Man: "Didn't I help you lose weight?" ! "

Huahua: (aggrieved lips trembling to the audience) "I haven't been to the cinema since I got married."

Man: "don't we have DVDs?" Although it is pirated, it is only for viewing! "

Huahua: "We haven't traveled together since we got married."

Man: "I'm not afraid of your tanning?"

Huahua: "I'm really fed up with this dull life!" I ... I have to do something! "

Man: "What are you doing?"

Huahua: (gulps down the latte) "I want to ... change!" "

Man: "Change?"

Huahua: "Yes, for a change!" "

[two exaggerated froze.

[Blakefield]

Act III Cappuccino-Bubble Love

Scene: Decorate it as a study at home.

Props: a desk, a laptop, two chairs, one in the light and one in the dark, roses, coffee cups.

Character: Huahua male and female netizens

[The girl who chased the light in the dark came to the stage with a sign that read: Captino-bubble love.

The next light is on.

[lights up.

Huahua: (Dressing at home is casual and even a little sloppy, sitting in front of a brightly lit table)

Man: (sitting in a chair in the dark)

Huahua: (to the audience) "People say that a woman who is not married is football, and everyone grabs it."

Man: (to the audience) "Hum, I regret it when I robbed it."

Huahua: (to the audience) "This married woman is football. If you can kick far, kick far! "

M: (to the audience) "You have to be skillful in kicking. You can't kick out. That would be a foul! "

Huahua: (to the audience) "It's a good thing I haven't given birth yet. The woman who gives birth is a golfer. One shot is more than 300 yards! "

Man: (to the audience) "No matter how far you play, you can't lose the ball. Losing the ball is a penalty! "

Huahua: "Alas, I miss being surrounded by 58 boyfriends ..."

Man: "38!"

Huahua: (to the audience) "Hey, tell me how stupid I am and what marriage I got! ? Men, as you can see, are not in the mood, not romantic, and will not talk sweetly. "

Man: (to the audience) "To be alive is to be true. What's the use of repairing so many empty things? "

Huahua: (turning on the computer) "Now you can find a little psychological balance from the Internet. My online name is Britney Spears! "

Man: (to the audience) "Hum, there are more than three, and the old cucumbers are painted green-act young."

Huahua: (to the audience) "There are many people chasing me online, Beckham, Leonardo, Blair, George W. Bush ..."

M: (to the audience) "Why didn't you say there were bin Laden and Saddam Hussein? You placed all these people. Well, this Nobel Peace Prize is yours. "

Huahua: "Oh, my little cloth is finally online!" " "

Male netizen: (backstage, sour) "Britney, are you lonely?" I am lonely because I miss you, and I think you must be so. "

Huahua: (nodding while tapping the keyboard excitedly) "Hmm!"

Male netizen: "There is no desert in the world. Every second I miss you, God drops a grain of sand, so there is Saha! " There is no sea in the world. Every time I miss you, God drops a tear, and there is the Pacific Ocean! "

Huahua: "How romantic! I found the feeling of first love! "

Male netizen: (backstage) I am like a boat looking for a harbor. I can't forget you! I am willing to love you all my life! Is it okay? "

Huahua: (snickering, glancing back at the newspaper man pretending to read).

Huahua: (turning to knock on the keyboard and cursing sweetly) "Love if you want!" "

Male netizen: (still backstage) "If I can have this honor, I am willing to accompany you all my life, all the year round. In spring, I accompany you to walk gently among the blooming flowers; In summer, I accompany you to run by the happy river; In autumn, I accompany you to walk under the fiery maple forest; I will sit around the fire with you in winter. "

Huahua: "I am so excited that my blood is boiling!" " "

Man: "I have goose bumps!" " "

Male netizen: (still backstage) "I don't want to say anything now, happiness is not now, only the future!" " Would you like to wait online with me? "

Huahua: (to herself) "Oh, I'm almost full after listening to so many sweet words at once!

Man: "Hum, I think you are holding it, too!" " "

Huahua: (to the audience) "Xiao Bu is so romantic. No, I have to see him. I hate knowing him late! "

Huahua: (to the computer) "Let's meet!" "

Male netizen: (hesitates) "OK, where is it? How did we meet? "

Huahua: "Coffee shop, your name is Xiao Bu, so I have a cappuccino in front of me! There are also many beautiful bubbles, which symbolize our beautiful, romantic and dreamy love! "

Male netizen: "Well, your real name is Huahua, and I'll hold a bunch of roses!" " "

[Huahua takes the notebook off the table, takes out the coffee cup and waits quietly.

Male netizen: (Please make the makeup artist as ugly as possible) (Bring flowers to the stage and look everywhere) "Britney Spears! Sweet. Huahuahuahua ... "

Man: (still sitting in the dark) "Stop barking and bring the dog."

Huahua: (startled by the man's appearance, he opened his mouth and poured coffee to the audience in a hurry) "Is this ... this ... this is the little cloth that can read poetry?" Why is my life so bitter? ! I ... I love this cappuccino! A cup! "

freeze

Act IV Single Product Coffee

Scene: Coffee shop

Props: four chairs and four cups of coffee.

Character: Huahua boyfriend (waiter in the first act) male

[Black Field Chasing Girls' Prompt Board] On-site Prompt Board Content: The coffee in the fourth act is mellow and memorable (end)

Male, Lala, Boyfriend: (Chasing Light) (Sitting in four chairs respectively, facing the audience. Lala, holding hands with the waiter, obviously in love).

(Chasing light only shines on flowers and flowers) Flowers and flowers: "Online dating is boring, or my husband will go to jail." Hold a man's hand.

Man: "Online dating is so cute. She wouldn't love me so much without comparison. "

Huahua: "I will only be nice to you in the future."

Man: "I've always been good to you."

Huahua: (gently) "Promise me that you will never drink latte again."

Man: "Well, then promise me that I won't drink any mocha or cappuccino in the future."

Huahua: (turning her face) "That won't do!" They let go and glared at each other.

Man: "That's what you are, always telling you not to let others!" " "

Huahua: "I am like this! You can stand it, but you can't stand leaving! Oh, my 58 boyfriends. "

Man: "38!"

[Keep your posture. Chasing the light is walking towards it, with my boyfriend.

Lala: "I'm getting married in the morning. Look at them a little dizzy, fighting, breaking up, and being mentally stimulated. "

Boyfriend: (affectionate) "I have fallen in love with you since I met you in the cafe. I swear, I will never let you live their lives. "

(All the lights are on): "Hey, what's wrong with us? What happened to us? ! Dude, he said, "We! "

Man: (stands up) "What kind of life do we live? ! You made it clear to me. What happened to us? ! "

Huahua: (pulling people) "Hmm! Exactly! "

Boyfriend: "You are ... unhappy."

Man: "Unhappy? Huahua, he said we were unhappy. "

Huahua: "Nonsense!"

Man: "Yes, you talk nonsense!" "

Huahua: "What do you mean by happiness? ! "

Boyfriend: "Happiness ... Happiness is having a family reunion dinner every day."

Man and Huahua: (scoffs) "That's it?"

Boyfriend: "There are many. If we want to be happy, we humans must make sacrifices. Only when they feel happy can we be happy. "

Huahua: "That makes sense."

Man: "Then how do you make lesbians happy?"

Boyfriend: (clearing his throat) "First of all, when I sing, I want to feel like a spring breeze. I'm surprised. I couldn't help laughing (Huahua and Lala applauded and didn't agree). "

Boyfriend: "As soon as Lala gets angry, I kneel down and beg for mercy. I can't ignore it (Huahua and Lala clap their hands)."

Man: "Do you still call a man? Not a man at all. "

Huahua: (kicking him) "You learn!"

Boyfriend: "When a lesbian hits me, I let it ravage me. Thank God for his mercy. I can't stare back (Huahua and Lala clap their hands). "

Man: (whispering to her boyfriend) "Brother, let's discuss something, don't say it in front of my wife, ok?"

Huahua: (in the back) "Go ahead, we are still listening!" "

Boyfriend: (continued) "Help read the book during the exam, circle the key points and don't do things that have nothing to do with yourself;" Nod your head from time to time, deeply agree with you, and there must be no smooth rebuttal; During interrogation, swear to show loyalty. There is careless behavior in the sea. "

Lala: (jumping up excitedly) "Honey, I recorded it all!" "

Huahua: "What about you, buddy? ! "

Man: (thinking) "isn't this ... I have it, too!" Listen, oh, Lala, you can also record this and compare it with yours. ......

When the wife kisses, she should be enthusiastic and energetic, try her best to sell it well, and must not have inarticulate behavior; If a wife is lucky, she must be responsive and persistent, and she can't be powerless; When a wife doesn't want it, she should shed tears in her stomach and solve it herself. There should be no money to buy or sell. "

Boyfriend: "Is this ... is this a little cruel?"

Lala: "Well, it's a good supplement."

Huahua: "Good! All right! This is my good man! "

M: (to the audience) "To coax a woman is to go out and tell a lie."

Huahua: "What are you talking about?"

Man: "no, I mean ... are you thirsty?"

Huahua: "Be careful. I am really thirsty. "

Lala: "I am thirsty, too."

Four people: (together) "waiter! Coffee! "

Attendant: (backstage) "What kind do you want?"

Huahua: "Mocha is very sweet, and many boyfriends are annoying."

Man: "Latte is very weak, and it's boring every day."

Lala: "Cappuccino, no matter how beautiful bubbles are, they are all illusions."

Four people: (in unison) "That single item is brown."

Huahua: "Add some partner and sugar;

Man: "steaming, warm;

Lala: "the joy of plain life;"

Boyfriend: "Enjoy a happy life."

the end