Recommend some classic short jokes

1. The four great tragedies in life: a drop of sweet rain after a long drought; meeting an old friend in a foreign land, a creditor; a night of flowers and candles in the wedding room, next door; dreaming when nominated for the gold medal.

2. The mouse never found a wife. One day, a bat finally agreed to marry it. It was very happy. Others laughed at it for its lack of vision, and the mouse said: You know nothing, you are also a flight attendant after all

3. A young couple, half asleep and half awake in the early morning, the wife exclaimed: My husband is back. After hearing this, the husband immediately grabbed his clothes and jumped out of the window to escape

4. A: How was your riding yesterday? B: Not too bad. The problem is that my horse is too polite. A: Too polite? B: Yes. When the ride came to a fence, it let me pass first!

5. From a distance, you can see the green smoke coming out of the toilet. When you go in, you can see how spectacular the toilet is. There is a stream of shit pouring down, and there is no paper in the pocket.

6. Farting is the remaining air in the abdomen, so there is no reason not to let it go. This Qi comes and goes and always wanders out. Those who released it felt proud, while those who heard it were dejected!

7. A man in his thirties is Pentium, a man in his forties is Microsoft, a man in his fifties is Panasonic, a man in his sixties is Lenovo...

8. The nurse saw A patient was drinking in the ward, so he walked over and whispered, "Be careful!" The patient smiled and said, "Baby."

9. A fool saw a pile of poop in front of him. He leaned over and smelled it, it seemed to be poop, he picked it and it felt like poop, and he tasted it and it was definitely poop. The fool said happily: Fortunately, I didn't step on it!

10. A girl named Yang Xiaochun lived upstairs. A boy downstairs came looking for her and yelled: "Chun, Chun..." The girl upstairs poked her head and said: "Who is downstairs called Chun? "Me!" the boy replied loudly.

11. The mother persuaded her daughter to marry a rich old man. The daughter shouted excitedly: I won’t marry that man, he is too old! My mother comforted me: What does this have to do with anything? It’s not like it’s meant to be cooked and eaten!

12. A farmer’s daughter was so ugly that he had to let her go to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare crows. Not only did she scare away the crows, but three crows were so frightened that they sent some corn back.

13. Robber: Tell me the password to the safe! Don't tell me I'll kill you! Female staff: Even if you kill me, you won’t tell me! You ruined me and I won’t tell you! The robber looked her up and down: You have a beautiful idea!

14. I liked a girl, but I never had the courage to contact her. Then I finally plucked up the courage to invite her to have a meal together and confess my feelings. Unexpectedly, I opened my mouth and said: Let’s sleep together. Okay?

15. A: Yesterday, the bus driver stared at me as if I didn’t buy a ticket. B: What should you do? A: It's simple. I stared at him as if I had bought a ticket.

16. While waiting for the bus, a girl kept staring at me and smiling, thinking she was handsome and tall. After walking around for a few times, MM's smile became more and more charming... Finally, the aunt said: Young man, please stop stepping on the shit, okay?

17. I said: You are a pig. You said: It’s weird that I’m a pig. From then on, I called you a weird pig. Finally, one day you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted at me in front of everyone: I'm not a weird pig!

18. Sick child: Mom, why did the aunt who distributed the medicine wear a mask? Mom: The medicine given to you is very delicious, but the director is afraid that they will take it secretly. Sick Child: Wearing masks on those uncles who hold knives is to prevent them from having dinner together, right?

19. A university professor preached to his students: The ancient word "LV" means kiss, mouth to mouth, very vivid.

At this time, a classmate asked: Where is the word "qi"? What are four people and a dog doing?

20. Weather forecast: There will be RMB depreciation in most areas of Beijing tonight, there will sometimes be checks in the northwest, and there will be gold nuggets in some areas! The meteorological department reminds citizens to prepare large sacks and prepare to make a fortune!

21. Someone yelled in the office: The director is a fool! The director happened to come in: I count the ball, what do you think? This person is quick to respond: We count ball hair, and we are closely united around you.

22. Late at night, Bush saw Bin Laden standing in front of his bed with his hair combed. Bush was shocked and said: You are so bold, you dare to break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-length beard, smiled sinisterly, and said: Rejoice, you are so confident!

23. A drunkard said to his wife: Our house is haunted! I just went to the toilet, and as soon as I opened the door, the light came on, and there were gusts of cold wind blowing out. His wife slapped him and said: This is the third time you have peed in the refrigerator when you were drunk!

24. The young man farted loudly, and the woman next to him said loudly, bah, bah, bah three times in a row! The young man asked calmly: Comrade, how come you eat farts and spit out cores?

25. Don’t be so tired. Don’t be so tired. Take a break when you feel uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid of the price when you are hungry. Work is a stupid thing and don’t go against it. Eat at the right time and go to bed on time. I miss you. Friends come to the party!

26. In the vast sea of ??people, my heart beats for you. Your seemingly indifferent expression makes me feel a faint pain. Your indifference makes me dare not express my feelings, but I can't help myself. Now I want to You understand...you stepped on my foot!

27. Two farm children were chatting, and one suddenly asked: Do your cows smoke? Another said: How can a cow smoke? Child No. 1: Oh, then, maybe your cowshed is on fire.

28. The scholar wrote a poem and said: The heavy snow is falling to the ground, this is the royal auspiciousness! Why not give it another three years? The beggar who was taking shelter from the cold put his head in and cursed: Damn your mother!

29. A mentally ill patient sang in bed, turned over while singing, and continued singing while lying on the pillow. The attending doctor asked him why he just sang and turned over? The crazy person said: Silly man, of course you have to turn over the side after singing side A!