Things that make fun of girls

1. Loving one person is difficult, loving two people is fun, loving three people is a bit annoying, and loving four people is like bees buzzing around in your head all day long.

2. I used to be very stupid and stupidly press down, so I must find someone more stupid than me to send it out! Be obedient! Send it quickly.

3. There is a kind of tacit understanding called tacit understanding, there is a kind of feeling called wonderful, there is a kind of happiness called having you by your side, and there is an idiot who will read it all.

4. I really miss you, fall in love with you, and love you these past two days. I think about it during the day and at night, I think about dreaming, eating, and even going to the toilet. I just can’t remember who you are no matter how much I think about it.

5. Instructions for jumping from a building: Go to the seventh floor if you are happy, go to the sixth floor if you are gasping for breath, go to the fifth floor if you struggle, go to the fourth floor if you are disabled, go to the third floor if you are hospitalized, go to the second floor if you are scared, and go to the first floor to watch the excitement.

6. Chickens are used to lay eggs, cows are used to work when there is work, cats are used to make meals from house to house, sheep are used to grill skewers in the future, and dogs are used to be spoiled. You are waiting. Out of the circle.

7. Success attracts success, and migrant workers attract migrant workers; flowers attract butterflies, and butterflies attract bees. But you are the most different, specializing in attracting flies, no wonder you are called a toilet.

8. I like to crawl around on you, touch every inch of your skin, and lie in your arms. I can't leave you for a moment. I love you - sofa!

9. Is your Mandarin standard enough? Please recite with me: Ten thousand hope, hope ten thousand hope, ten thousand forget, ten thousand hope, ten thousand forget. alright! Stop barking, dog, and learn.

10. My dear, there are some things I can’t wait to tell you. I miss you day and night, especially your face. I would like to ask you one more question - how many days have you not washed your face?

11. Sometimes people are really like the moon in the sky and the lake on the ground. They take pictures of each other only when they are far apart. I miss you very much. For us, the end of the world is just a few steps away!

12. It is fate that makes us meet each other; it is ideal that makes us work together; it is sincerity that makes us trust each other; it is love that makes us interdependent; it is harassment that makes us send this text message!

13. Attending the banquet yesterday: It was great, I sat next to the suckling pig. As soon as the words came out, I noticed that you were glaring at each other next to me. I quickly smiled and said: I'm sorry, I meant the burned one.

14. Your baby, your baby, you have eaten the most. You have salty golden dates in your mouth, dogtail grass in your nose, your eyes are like light bulbs, and your nose is like urine. You think you are a silkworm baby, but in fact you are It's a big straw bag!

15. You are a romantic figure throughout the ages, you can swallow up thousands of miles like a tiger, and you are the only one who can count the heroes of the world. People have searched for you for thousands of times, but when I suddenly look back, you are hiding in the corner, purring wildly. .

16. The weather becomes hot and cold, have you ever heard my thoughts? Tomorrow I will raise a homing pigeon and let it tell you for me. Even if it only takes one action: shit will fall on your head!

17. Your heartless leap made me lose myself. Looking at your back, I made up my mind not to let you go! So I yelled at the top of my lungs: Whose pig jumped over the fence and ran away!

18. I won’t miss you because of the change of seasons, I won’t alienate you because of my busyness, and I won’t forget you because of the wash of time. If I run out of monthly text messages, I will send you text messages, greetings and deceptions. !

19. Daughter: Dad said that domestic flowers don’t have the fragrance of wild flowers. Mom, aren’t you jealous? My mother replied: How can I be so petty? House flowers and wild flowers are relative terms, and I am also a wild flower in other people's eyes.

20. Mountains and seas can block each other, but not my thoughts; distance can pull you and me apart, but not our true friendship; time can forget the past, but never forget eternal friends.

21. Those who make furniture are wood, those who understand poetry are scholars, what everyone thinks about is money, what is being cultivated is talent, what women want is body, those who send messages are geniuses, and the one who is reading text messages is Idiot.

22. When serving food in the cafeteria, there was a woman at the window selling meat dishes who was hesitating about what to order. The chef asked impatiently: What should I order? The woman thought for a long time and said: Just shoot the chicken.

Let's fight chicken, let's fight chicken...

23. I miss you so much! Oops, I accidentally sent it by mistake. I sent it anyway. If you accept it, just save it. If you don’t accept it, please send these four words back to me. Thank you!

24. Did you receive a text message on this day last year that remains fresh in your memory? If you receive this message, it proves that your phone is infected with a virus. Please immediately throw your phone into water and soak it for a day.

25. Phone message: Don’t talk yet. I have guessed who you are. In fact, I have three words that I have always wanted to say to you, but I am afraid that I won’t even be friends if I say them, but today I will definitely I want to say: Please hang up!

26. Where are you? Go watch satellite TV, hurry up! A large nuclear power plant in the United States was artificially leaked, causing a large number of biological mutations! One of the mutant orangutans is reading this text message!

27. After a period of statistics, the following information is obtained. Because of indigestion of your mobile phone, the mobile company will cancel your right to use it. Please contact WC to ensure the normal use of your mobile phone.

28. People in the world know that you are highly skilled in martial arts, but you must not be proud. When you have a sword among people, a person among swords, and people and swords become one, once you achieve this, you will no longer be a human being. Sword man! Sword man! Sword man!

29. The happiness of the sky is blue, the happiness of the forest is green, the happiness of the sun is as bright as diamonds, the happiness of the shell is nestling in the sea, and my happiness is knowing that you have everything. good!

30. Itchy ears? That means I'm thinking of you! Itchy eyes? That means I want to see you! Itchy mouth? That means I want to kiss you! Body itchy? That means... stop thinking nonsense, you've got lice, go take a shower!

31. 2 to the power of 1, this person is really 2, 2 to the power of 2, this group of people is 2, 2 to the power of N, if everyone is 2, they are no longer 2. After receiving this Friends who send text messages please forward them to each other and pass on the spirit of 2!

32. Meeting you may be God’s arrangement, everything is so natural. You walked from the crowd and looked me up and down with your deep eyes. It wasn't until I turned red that you said faintly: Fortune telling is not good.

33. A Mercedes-Benz and a tractor were racing against a BMW. After discovering it, the traffic police reported: The speed of the two vehicles exceeded 180 kilometers per hour. The most impressive one was the tractor. It had been following the Mercedes-Benz and turned on the turn signal to ask for overtaking!

34. You are so awesome. I really admire you. You dare to drink the water from the bedpan, dare to kiss the mouth of a madman, dare to hit a car, dare to ride a tiger that eats people, and dare to create anything you say. Guinness, it scares people to death just by looking at it.

35. I bet with a pig that I can use a mobile phone to block my body so that it cannot be seen. The pig didn't believe it, so I blocked it. The pig is watching, the pig is watching, the pig is watching! What are you looking at!

36. You should know how good I am to you. I won’t wear a cotton-padded jacket for you during the three-nine days, and I won’t shake my fan during the dog days for you. Now the temperature is getting higher and higher, but you have abandoned me resolutely. I hate you. Bad air conditioner.

37. It is very cold in the hospital ward in winter. The patient asked: Why is there no heating in the ward? Doctor: We will line up patients with high fever and take them to each ward. The room temperature will come up soon!

38. Know how to relax and find relaxation; know how to forget and find freedom; know how to care and find friends; know how to cherish and find happiness. If you know how to exercise, you will find health; if you know how to enjoy, you will find the pigsty!

39. If there are only 10 minutes left in the world, I will recall the ups and downs we have gone through with you; if there are only 3 minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; if there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

40. It is always easy for people to be busy with life and not know where to end. I am just sending this message to remind you that there is someone not far away who is silently caring about you and blessing you. By the way Harass you!

41. Killing time with short messages is called letter life, sending and receiving at the same time is letter communication, sending and receiving like crazy is letter**, only receiving but not sending is letter indifference, sending to the wrong person is letter harassment. Unsuccessful sending and receiving is caused by letter dysfunction!

42. You have grown up, and there are some things you should know: the sky is for wind and rain; the earth is for growing flowers and grass; I am for Prove how great human beings are; you are used to stew vermicelli.

43. I was chatting with my friends because you quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all!

44. Lao Wang is a "white-headed man". When he went out one day, passers-by were surprised and said: "Lao Wang! What product did you use that is so magical? Your hair is completely black!" Lao Wang: "Don't mention it, I'll take it. Shoe polish should be used as head polish!”

45. The general went to a recruiting station and asked: How is the registration status today? The webmaster replied: Sir, one person signed up yesterday and the day before yesterday. The number of registrations today is slightly lower than yesterday and the day before yesterday!

46. If the house price is high, we will not buy it. If the price is high, we will be low-carbon. If the stock market is bearish, we will be bullish. If the money is low, we will save it. When we are tired from work, we will take a rest. When friends miss me, we will contact and send text messages. We put it away when it comes, and we are happy every day.

47. Challenge the limits of summer. Limit 1: Let the mosquitoes bite you without resisting. Rewards: Lots of red envelopes. Limit 2: Boycott ice cream**. Bonus: Free weight loss. Limit Three: Exposure to the scorching sun. Reward: ?Sauna.

48. The ostrich stared at the giraffe for the first time. The giraffe ran away shyly, and the ostrich chased after it. Giraffe: Don't worry...it's the first time we meet. Ostrich: I just wanted to ask...what brand of hair remover did you use?

49. Please put the nine horses into ten horse pens on average, and make the number of horses in each horse pen the same. How to divide them? Answer: Put nine horses in a horse pen, and then put nine more horse rings outside the horse pen!

50. You have changed! why is that? I no longer know you, you are so strange to me now. My heart hurts so much, you were so cute before! But now. Why don't you be a tadpole instead of a toad?

51. Those who cook are called cooks; those who raise horses are called grooms; those who cultivate the land are called farmers; those who sell meat are called butchers; those who practice martial arts are called martial artists; those who drive cars are called coachmen; I I'm in charge of accounting, so I can do whatever you want me to do!

52. There was a bean, and it fell. It's angry. He is depressed, this is me, what can encourage him to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something in the world called "Pig Encouragement Beans"!

53. Qingcai fell in love with Carrot, but was ruthlessly rejected when she confessed her love. Qingcai yelled in grief and anger: Why, why is all this happening? Radish said helplessly: Haven't you heard that each vegetable and radish has its own preferences? It is impossible for us.

54. I know that what I miss will never come back, and what I regret will always be regretful. I also know that there is no point regretting after missing you, but I still can’t help but think: I caught you, the mouse, yesterday. You can sleep well if you stay here today.

55. Girlfriend: Do you usually motivate yourself to fight? Boyfriend: Of course! Every morning when I get up, I read the "Forbes" rich list. If my name is not on it, I will go to work...

56. How can the green willow silk compare with your hair; green How can ripples compare to your eyes? Sometimes, when I stare at your jade photo on the bedside, I almost feel that the whole world is forever immersed in the bright spring light.

57. Missing you is what I do every second; seeing you is what I do every day; loving you is what I do forever; taking care of you is what I do for the rest of my life. things to do. But, to lie to you, that’s what I’m doing.

58. Monkey hunting notice: I have lost a small hairy monkey. Characteristics: it is dirty, has a face full of runny nose, has a mobile phone on its body, and can read text messages. Love Monkey has read the text message and will reply to the owner immediately! Master misses you so much!

59. I haven’t seen you for many days. I miss you very much! I know I have been too angry in the past few days and you have refused to come out to see me, but I still tell you, I can't live without you! Come out quickly... my poop!

60. I built the Great Wall, I rotated the earth, I played Spider-Man, I deceived Zhuge Liang, I managed the Transformers, and I welded the aircraft carrier. I'm really not that good, I was taught all this by reading text messages.

61. The north wind is howling, the winter rain is lingering, and the snow is falling. My friend, I know you are cold, but it doesn’t matter. I have sent you a microwave oven. If you are cold, just go to work. …Bake it! Have fun!

62. Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can read short messages, But you did it. congratulations!

63. You have a handsome appearance like Pan An, a smile as bright as gold, and what’s more valuable is that you have a noble sentiment like a lotus that can emerge from the mud without being stained. oh! It turns out you are the famous--Pan Jinlian!

64. Sorry, I sent you a text message when you were very busy. If it disturbs you, I would like to say... you deserve it! Who told you not to contact me for so long? If you don’t reply to your message, I will continue to harass you!

65. The family is poor and ugly, 1.49 meters tall, has a rural registered permanent residence with primary school education, a dilapidated house with three rooms and one acre of thin farmland, and no wife who can cook hot pot or hot stove. He keeps talking about medicine all year round. Today, he sent a text message to recruit girlfriends. **Walking hand in hand on the road, are you willing?

66. Be careful, be careful. God knows this and you know it and I know it, so don’t tell it. Did you receive the red envelope I sent you last night? No? No way, I sent so many mosquitoes to say hello to you. Happy summer!

67. You are old enough, so it’s time for you to know some things! The sky is used to bring wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove how great human beings are; and you are used to stew vermicelli.

68. Today on the side of the road, a girl walked over, looking like a college student. As if he wanted to ask for directions, he called out: Uncle. Damn, I'm not even thirty yet, how do I look like an uncle? So I cupped my hands and said, "Sister-in-law, what's going on?"

69. That night, I refused to sleep with you, and you called me: a coward. I said to you sadly: Wang Cai even began to suspect that I, Hongxing, was cheating on me, saying: I also have needs, and you can't always use me as a pillow to sleep on!

70. Do you remember when we ate roast duck together? You like to eat duck**, and as soon as the food is served, you grab it and stuff it into your mouth like an arrow. I whispered: Why don't you see duck**? You pointed to your mouth proudly and said: **Here it is.

71. Attention, I give you the power-saving guide for air conditioners in summer. I have many years of experience and only friends tell you: the first step is to find the power supply of the air conditioner; the second step is to unplug the power supply; the third step is to find the power source of the air conditioner. Step 1, check the effect, see, the meter is running slowly.

72. In order to thank the beauties for their true love, I will launch a discount activity for handsome men to rent out: accompany them shopping until the soles are reimbursed; accompany them to meals, and employees will make custom orders; accompany them to watch movies, mainly romance films; if necessary , stick to the upside down post.

73. There are so many flowers in the world, and when people think of love, they only think of roses. All people think of is you!

74. When Chang'e turns back, the canopy turns into Bajie; when Tang Monk turns around, the Great Sage turns into Wukong; when Guanyin turns around, the prince turns into a white horse; when you turn around, the prince turns into a frog. Summer is here. If you attract mosquitoes, turn around, beauty.

75. Banana and Orange’s first wedding night, Orange: You are not like a man. You can’t stand up or be hard after taking off your clothes. Banana: I only thought you were plump before, but now I know you are pregnant. Orange: I grew up drinking water from the Daughter Kingdom.

76. Although you have spent time with me in loneliness and eliminated my troubles, you have also caused me too much harm. After some ideological struggle, I have gone through the torrent of love and hate. , I think you are really not suitable for me, goodbye! cigarette!

77. Although you are a bit lazy, you have the capital to enjoy life; although you have a big appetite, you are not picky about food; although you are a bit lustful, you have good taste and know how to find Chang'e; you are everyone's favorite God, everyone calls you Marshal Tianpeng!

78. I have picked a lot of flowers for a long time and withered, but I can’t bear to throw them away. I have held an umbrella for a long time and can’t remember to close it when the rain stopped. I have walked a road for a long time and can’t reach the end even when it gets dark. One sentence I thought about the words clearly for a long time before speaking out: It's great to have you!

79. The elevator is very crowded, and you look at him in front of you affectionately and silently. He also smiled and nodded at you, looking at you with kindness.

You felt very embarrassed and suddenly asked cautiously: Brother, can you move your feet?

80. If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will give you a South China Sea. If a star represents a happiness, I will give you a Milky Way. If a spoon of honey represents a yearning, I will give you a hornet’s nest. , I don’t believe it can sting you to death.

81. When ** is carried with you every day, when planes can take off at any time, when scalpers pull into the station, when fishermen enter the website, when "fake fathers" run rampant, when "fake mothers" fly around, when Lanzhou Shaobing After joining the Internet, what are we left with?

82. The village chief sent 5,000 yuan to the township chief and applied for funding to build the People's Bridge. The mayor left two thousand and three thousand to the mayor. The mayor allocated eight thousand, and the village chief received five thousand. After its completion, the mayor wrote an inscription: The People's Bridge was built by the people, and the bridge was built for the people.

83. On the overcrowded bus. Man: You are so beautiful. Female smiles. Man: You smile like an angel. Female ecstasy. Man: Let’s go have dinner together. Women are reserved. Man: Miss, can you give way? You're blocking my girlfriend. The woman was stunned.

84. Don’t tell anyone that I’m in contact with you, otherwise you and I will be in danger. Do you have a spare room for me to hide in for two days? I will bring three tons of gold, nine nuclear bombs, and eighteen Beauty, five thousand soldiers, I am brother **, I am still alive.