Classic humorous greetings

1, a person works in a bank, and the whole family is busy. A person doing insurance, the whole family is shameless. Playing the stock market alone, the whole family jumps together. Playing computer alone makes the whole family brainless.

An American soldier dreamed that Saddam stood beside him with his mouth open. The soldier asked, what do you want? Saddam showed his white teeth and said, Our goal is no tooth decay.

3, people can only be with people, and demons can only be with demons. If people are with demons, it is a shemale.

4, a row of sleeping in class, anti-terrorism, legend is not tired, short messages are owed, smoking and rubbing hemp plenary session, two bottles of white wine are not drunk, collective truancy, long live college life!

My wife is looking for clothes. She put on a skirt that she hadn't worn for a long time and looked in the mirror: Oh dear! Love jiaozi! Sir: That's stuffing, not leaves.

6. The monotonous and busy life day after day sometimes makes people forget their existence. At this time, you can easily find yourself by tapping the hammer with your thumb.

7. How satisfied I am to know you, like a sow climbing a buttonwood tree. How lucky I am to meet you, like a chicken feather growing on a duck's ass.

8. Lele: Mom, how did I grow up? My mother felt that the opportunity for education came, so she said that my mother raised me with a handful of shit and urine. Lele cried: How did you give me those? Oh!

9. Failing a foreign language proves that I am patriotic; Showing off all day, in fact, no wife; Grow a small belly and pretend to be Maitreya; Everywhere is chirping, like a big slug.

10, * * * The dormitory was in complete darkness due to insufficient voltage of boiling water. A man shouted: Sisters, stop being coquettish. Only heard someone answer: we are not coquettish on the third floor, but you are coquettish on the second floor.

1 1. Talking too much will dry up, socializing too much will sour your legs, eating too much will not rot, playing too much will taste bad, money will be dangerous, family will become a burden, and what will happen to friends? You will be happy every day!

12. Ten business cards are added to the drawer every day, ten phone calls are received by the mobile phone, ten emails are received by the mailbox, and ten friends are added to qq. Countless people face to face with you. From the familiar to the unfamiliar, the most important thing in life is actually yourself.

13. Richness does not lie in villas, health does not lie in nursed back to health, wisdom lies in introversion, life does not lie in indifference, happiness does not lie in staying or pursuing, and what is more important in life is contentment!

14, a good girl must: sell cute, play two; Play the role of Lori and the Queen; Sun got the lower limit and became red. Play small and fresh, swallow heavy taste. The scouts retreated again and again, hiding up to no good!

15, cpi remains high, shopping is too expensive, money in the bank has shrunk, loan interest has doubled, buying a house is ahead of consumption, traveling costs money, working overtime and taking part-time jobs is too tiring, romance has no chance, life is worth remembering, and tomorrow should be beautiful!

16, it is easier to get along with people if you look at the problem from another standpoint; Thinking from another angle makes it easier to untie the knot; It is easier to face gains and losses with different mentality; It's easier to find happiness by living in another way! Have a happy day!

17. Every door faces a green hill. Every window faces the starry sky. Open your heart and make your faith firm. Open your heart window and face the starry sky calmly. Let go of yourself and enjoy the wind and clouds.

18, moving is a warm feeling, gratitude is a warm feeling, emotion is a warm feeling, sensibility is a free feeling, feeling is an emotional infection, gratitude is a life expression, and gratitude is a happy feeling. Be grateful for life and enjoy happiness!

19, to amuse the audience; Do it if you are happy with your husband; Make your wife happy and cook; Make colleagues happy and be the host; Coax leaders to be happy and do things; Coax yourself to be happy and dream; Let everyone be happy and be RMB!

20. There are no inseparable couples, only small three who don't work hard; There is no banquet that never ends, only a wordless ending; There is no impassable road, only people who can't figure it out; There are no friends who like loneliness, only friends who are neglected to contact!