Classic funny jokes on Chinese Valentine's Day

It’s Valentine’s Day again. I have been single for more than 20 years. Do you think my wife had an abortion 20 years ago? Here are the classic funny jokes I compiled for you on Chinese Valentine’s Day (selected 130 sentences) , hope it can help everyone! Classic funny jokes on Chinese Valentine’s Day Part 1

1. If we don’t show affection on Chinese Valentine’s Day, we will still be friends.

2. On Chinese Valentine’s Day, I will play Lianliankan all day long, eliminating a pair is a pair.

3. Low prices on Chinese Valentine’s Day, cheap sales!

4. Chinese Valentine’s Day is coming soon. Single friends, hurry to the supermarket and quietly put a note into each box of chocolates: Let’s break up!

5. I have just received a notice from the Jade Emperor: The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl lost their footing and fell off the Magpie Bridge due to excessive excitement. Chinese Valentine's Day is cancelled. Please tell each other.

6. Chinese Valentine’s Day is coming soon. If you want to show off your affection, don’t show it off. After all, there are so many people who don’t have a partner. Besides, it would be bad if you show off your affection and take photos and meet someone who bumps into you.

7. Damn it, today’s Chinese Valentine’s Day is like Singles’ Day.

8. During the Chinese Valentine's Day, hire two children. When they meet a boy, they call them dad, and when they meet a girl, they call them mom. If they can split a pair, they will be a pair.

9. The most romantic story has no ending, and the happiest love has no words, only the compatibility of each other’s hearts. My lover, everything is in words! I want to wish you a happy Valentine's Day!

10. If anyone shows affection in front of me on Valentine's Day, I will take a photo and screenshot. When you get married and your partner is no longer the same person, I will print out the photo and put it in a red envelope.

11. I counted on my fingers and said: "I will spend the Chinese Valentine's Day alone again this year."

12. I loved you once, it is true; I still love you, it is true . On Valentine's Day, let me turn this love into a trickle of blessings, and sincerely wish you happiness and joy forever!

13. It seems that you and I are left again on Chinese Valentine’s Day this year. My bed.

14. It’s almost Chinese Valentine’s Day. People who have a crush on me, why are you so depressed? You have to be angry.

15. Seven is an odd number, and I need you to make up an even number.

16. The day after Chinese Valentine's Day, a native lady said: This morning, I saw many women walking on the road with extremely unnatural postures.

17. It’s not easy. In order to send you this text message to you who wants to have good looks, a good body, a good temperament, be loved by everyone, and be seen in cars, I will run away all by myself. Got a handsome guy. Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

18. Every major festival and festival, I look at those who stand and talk without back pain, encourage single women to respect themselves and love themselves, let nature take its course, don’t wait anxiously, and you will definitely get true love like her, and have a good life with someone to accompany you during the holidays. Woman, I am so angry.

19. Huh? What is Chinese Valentine's Day? , turned into binary, isn't it still Singles' Day? Do you understand binary?

20. Chinese Valentine’s Day is coming soon. I asked my girl Xinyi to go out and ride the Ferris wheel together. After several appointments, I finally agreed. I was waiting for her at the entrance of the park, and the guy who sent her there was a handsome guy who introduced me that he was her boyfriend. Boy friend……?

21. Chinese Valentine’s Day is coming soon. I just went downstairs to finish shopping, and the boss asked me: “Sir, do you want to buy flowers?” “What are you buying flowers for?” “Buying flowers for your girlfriend?” "Oh, how many flowers can I buy to give to my girlfriend?" Then the boss took the flowers back silently.

22. When the shooting stars fall, it’s because the sky is crying; when the rain falls, it’s because my thoughts are rising; when the moon rises, it’s because our eyes are intertwined; when the magpies in the world have flown away That is their tribute to the Chinese Valentine's Day of love!

23. One day, the four masters and disciples of Tang Seng came to Pansi Cave and saw seven beauties taking a bath in the pool. Bajie was so greedy that he drooled: "Seven fairies." Tang Seng only glanced at it and immediately Putting his hands together: "Monster. "? Wukong said: "I admire them, these seven people are monsters, but how can the master know that they are not seven fairies without having piercing eyes? Tang Monk smiled and said, "One of the seven fairies is married to Dong Yong. How can there be seven people taking a bath?" ”

24. As the saying goes: Trains are not pushed, happiness is not blown; it’s Chinese Valentine’s Day, I want to say to you: It’s right to have you, and my heart will be drunk.

25. It’s almost Chinese Valentine’s Day. People who have a crush on me, how can you be so calm?

26. Don’t ask me how I spend this Chinese Valentine’s Day this year. I’d love to skip, skip, muddle along. But I still cowardly admit that I am only sad.

27. I have just received the Jade Emperor’s decree: The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl slipped and fell off the Magpie Bridge due to excessive excitement. Therefore, the Chinese Valentine’s Day is cancelled. Please tell each other to lovers and friends.

28. Meeting you is by chance, falling in love with you is not sudden, falling in love with you is natural, and missing you every day is a habit. Yu'er lies in the Meiyuan on Chinese Valentine's Day, looks at the horizon at midnight, wishes the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl far away, and is infatuated with fish and water forever.

29. Are you busy? fine. I just want to tell you in a non-intrusive way: I'm thinking of you. I hope you have a smile on your face when you receive my text message. Let your friends know that you are happy. Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

30. Confess your love! Confession on March 14th! Confess your love on April 1st! I also want to express my love on May 20th! I’m going to express my love again after graduating in June! ! Your sister still needs to confess her feelings on Chinese Valentine's Day. It’s indeed my aunt who confessed her love!

31. It’s Valentine’s Day again. I have been single for more than 20 years. Do you think my wife had an abortion 20 years ago?

32. On July 7th, the Magpie Bridge Immortal, the golden wind and jade dew hate the bitterness, and they are always with you day and night. I don’t envy the cowherd or the mandarin duck! Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

33. The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl meet on the Magpie Bridge in the sky, while a group of fools on the ground meet on the Broken Bridge. Let me ask: What night is it today? Answer: Chinese Valentine’s Day!

34. I really hope that the path has no end, just keep walking hand in hand, and let us walk together through every Valentine's Day in our future lives.

35. I miss you not because I am lonely, but I am lonely because I miss you. The reason why the feeling of loneliness is so heavy is just because I think too deeply.

36. The bright eyes you cast on me from the darkness are like a breeze, sending a shiver through the water waves and blowing to the hazy shore.

37. Running non-stop, so the feeling of disappointment in non-stop, is that I approach the man like the wind again and again, and come back defeated again and again.

38. The shadow of the moon is as bright as the day, and the silver frost is vast; we meet at the Magpie Bridge on Chinese Valentine's Day, full of love. The fairy flowers are clustered together, and the beautiful scenery blends together; the fairy magpies gather on the overpass, so happiness is born!

39. Love is an inspiration that makes people fly. It is two foolish hearts running towards each other desperately. It originates from eros but transcends eros.

40. I was in a car accident and my waist was twisted, and you were the driver;; I was hit by love! Hehe, I love you! Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

41. Even if I have the whole world, I will still not be satisfied unless you let me have you and give me a corner with you.

42. Above the Milky Way, a lifetime of waiting and several lifetimes of fate have turned into crystal tears, spilling down to the mortal world, leaving endless blessings to everyone!

43. Shangxie, I want to know you and live a long life. There are no mausoleums in the mountains, the rivers are exhausted, the winter thunders tremble, the summer rains and snows, the heaven and the earth are united, I dare to be with you!

44. Above the Milky Way, a lifetime of waiting and several lifetimes of fate have turned into crystal tears, spilling down to the mortal world, leaving infinite blessings to the world!

45. Crying does not mean that I give in; taking a step back does not mean that I give up; letting go does not mean that I give up; smiling does not mean that I am happy!

46. My dear, if I want to turn into a pool of rippling lake water, as long as you get a little closer to me, it will flow all the way.

47. Loving you is so inexplicable, so unyielding, I know I will not be your only one in this life, but you are the love of my life!

48. The most romantic story has no ending, and the happiest love has no words, only the harmony of each other's hearts. My love, everything is unspoken!

49. The lingering twilight, a few thoughts, endless words, sincere blessings, quietly tell you that I miss you, a cordial greeting.

50. At this moment, I miss you the most. Let the clouds carry my heartfelt blessings and embellish your sweet dreams. I wish you a happy Valentine's Day. Chinese Valentine's Day classic funny jokes Part 2

1. It is said that if lovers say "I love you" to each other on Chinese Valentine's Day, they will never be separated on Chinese Valentine's Day in the coming year. If they say it every year, they will never be separated. I love you!

2. Before I met you, the world was a wasteland. After I met you, the world was a paradise. Many years in the past were like a wisp of smoke to me. My future unlimited career is because of you. Boundless happiness. Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

3. Chinese Valentine’s Day is here, and I’ll give you a box of chocolates. It uses French romance as the main ingredient, coupled with the warmth of British specialties, mixed with the enthusiasm brought by the United States, and packaged with Chinese implicitness and loyalty. Eating it guarantees you a sweet love!

4. On this unique Valentine’s Day, I will wear my vow on your finger for the rest of my life. Even if my life is ordinary and we share the joys and sorrows, I will always protect you from wind and rain* ** Live day and night. Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

5. The thousand-year-old myth interprets the classic romance. The long-term expectation of waiting for the magpies to fly across the Milky Way separates the thoughts of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, but a beautiful fate is created. I only wish those who love each other: Happy Chinese Valentine's Day and finally get married!

6. For your famous flower, I am willing to be a piece of fertile soil, suffer the humiliation of being trampled on, suffer the pain of flesh and blood, and I only want to be your only lord. On Chinese Valentine's Day, I hope your heart belongs to me, and I also wish all lovers will eventually get married!

7. The script I wrote for you - theme: signal. Protagonist: Me and you. Stage: mobile phone screen. Scene: It’s Chinese Valentine’s Day again, I’m thinking of you in the distance, and I press it gently with my thumb - my thoughts have been sent, please turn on your phone to receive it!

8. The night is empty, causing countless melancholy; the moon is like a bow, causing sadness in sections; the stars are like hearts, lighting up many hopes; the Milky Way is like the Yangtze River, with people on both sides, text messages are here to help: best wishes. Lovers finally get married!

9. The crescent moon of longing sways and shakes, with me on one end and you on the other; the candlelight of concern twinkles and flickers, here is me and on the other side is you; in the galaxy of love, you are the Cowherd. , I am the Weaver Girl, wishing that every month, every day is Chinese Valentine's Day, and we can cuddle up with each other every second!

10. A loyal man sets off the Cowherd to attract the Weaver Girl to heaven. A man who loves a man and hates a woman gets married and has a pair of good children. It is illegal to make a private life decision, which will offend the parents of the heavenly family. He captured the Weaver Girl and returned to heaven, but the Cowherd was chasing after her. The burden is carried by two children, and the husband, wife and children are together. The cruel Queen Mother has a trick to divide her husband and wife across the Milky Way. The Queen Mother issued a ban to meet on July 7th every year. From then on, the husband and wife were separated in two places, and they were miserable in heaven and earth. We are so happy in this world, how can a husband and wife suffer like this?

11. I dedicate to you the true love of the Cowherd. A good man must love his wife well; I dedicate to you the tenderness of the Weaver Girl. A good woman must be a man’s rare companion in a thousand years. No matter you are a good man or a good woman, if you receive my text message, you will definitely have a happy life, sweet love, and good luck throughout your life!

12. On Valentine’s Day, I would like to be a fish, let you braise it, boil it or steam it, and then lie in your gentle stomach.

13. This is a text message given by the Queen Mother. Anyone who reads it will be happy for a lifetime, couples in love will love each other for a lifetime, and single men and women will find happy love. I wish everyone in the world a happy Chinese Valentine's Day.

14. On Chinese Valentine's Day, remember to consolidate old lovers, develop new lovers, protect young lovers, and beware of insiders. I wish old lovers will not grow old, new lovers will not run away, there will be many young lovers, and insiders will not disturb you! Happy Valentine's Day!

15. Thank you very much for giving me the happiest time in my life. Today is Chinese Valentine’s Day. I wish the two of us will love each other forever and grow old together! Kiss you deeply!

16. Although we are far apart, my heart is connected with you; although we don’t meet often, your voice and appearance are still in front of me; when we meet and embrace each other, we taste the sweetness of love; on the Chinese Valentine’s Day, I look forward to it Looking up and looking forward to it; sending you a text message to convey my endless love!

17. Without you in the moon, you can’t say foreigners’ festival. Today is Chinese Valentine’s Day, the Chinese Valentine’s Day, haha, I can’t escape it!

18. If you receive this message, you like me. If you delete it, you have a crush on me. If you reply to this message, you want to marry me. If you don’t reply, you will agree to marry me. If you modify it, you will die. It’s all mine. Man, if you save it, it will belong to me in the next life! You just have to figure it out, happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

19. Year after year on Chinese Valentine's Day, my love for you never changes; day after day, my love for you remains the same; no matter how time and space change, my love for you will never tire; No matter what happens in the world, I will always be by your side. Happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

20. The years are long and long, and our love for you is lingering. The shining Milky Way is long and long, and you and I always have the same mind. The magpie builds a long bridge, and you and I are happy to meet each other on Chinese Valentine's Day. May the future of happiness be long and long, and love will be in my heart for a long time.

21. On the annual Chinese Valentine’s Day, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl hold a Magpie Bridge Party. I am deeply moved by the feeling of heaven and earth, and love cannot help hurt parting. You and I, ordinary mortals, live our lives in love with each other. Don't envy mandarin ducks or immortals, live and work in peace and contentment and enjoy reunion.

22. The song of love is the most joyful, and the ocean of love is the most exciting. In the dazzling Milky Way, a star is my love for you; in the vast universe, a grain of dust is my love for you. I cherish each other on Chinese Valentine's Day and wish you more beauty.

23. The moonlight is like day, and the silver frost is vast. On the Chinese Valentine's Day, we gather on the magpie bridge, full of affection; the flowers are clustered, the beautiful scenery blends together, and the magpies gather on the bridge, so happy! Happy Chinese Valentine's Day to all the lovers in the world!

24. See you on the magpie bridge in the sky, and the world will be round tonight. On the top of the willow tree in the moonlight, people meet at dusk. We met on the Magpie Bridge on Chinese Valentine's Day, and our friendship lasted forever. Seeing things without words is all without words.

25. I will pay for your happiness, make up for your confusion, satisfy your demands, give in to your willfulness, and who loves you the most is me. ! I wish you a happy Chinese Valentine's Day and may the lovers get married!

26. I was so happy to see you just now, so relieved to see you again, so sad to miss you, and so dedicated to pursuing you. Please fulfill my heart!

27. When I see you, I am afraid of getting an electric shock; when I cannot see you, I need to recharge; without you, I think I will lose power. Loving you is my profession, missing you is my career, holding you is my specialty, kissing you is my specialty!

28. We don’t want to be the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, because they are too far apart and the meeting is too short; we want to be ourselves, because you are by my side and hold my heart tightly!

29. The Chinese Valentine's Day is coming, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl meet in the sky, the love songs and girls on the ground are intoxicated, and I am left alone and boring. I want to eavesdrop on other people's love words and just doze off. I send you a text message to relieve your boredom. I wish you the best. Extremely sweet in pairs!

30. Legend has it that Chinese Valentine’s Day is the day when the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl meet on the magpie bridge once a year. Folk lovers will beg the moon for sincere and romantic love on this day. By the time you get this message, someone has already missed you a hundred times. Chinese Valentine's Day classic funny jokes Part 3

1. I regretted many things when I grew up, but I never regretted liking you.

2. I hope that when my hair is gray and my teeth are gone and my face is wrinkled, you will still say that you love me as before.

3. Summer is here. I want the cool wind, sweet strawberry ice cream, and round watermelon. I like you, well, it seems too greedy, so I only want you!

4. Love plus love equals very much love, love minus love equals the starting point of love, love times love is infinite love, and love minus love equals the only love.

5. When you fall in love with someone, saying "I love you" is only 1% completed. How to prove your love accounts for the other 99%.

6. I am familiar with all your bad habits and have seen through all your ugliness, but I still love you!

7. The most beautiful encounter in life is to meet you, and then we can feel each other's emotions, and smell the fragrance of flowers. For the rest of our lives, we will only express warmth without saying a word, and we will meet you heart-to-heart and stay with you in peace and warmth. Good morning!

8. Apart from you, I have no one else. It’s just that I don’t want anyone but you.

9. I hope you can clarify your identity. You are mine.

10. If you don’t love me anymore, don’t force yourself. Although I don’t want to say goodbye either.

11. It’s fake to want to drink with you, but it’s true to want to get drunk in your arms.

12. Looking at you smiling, I suddenly realize that I am really the happiest person in the world.

13. One day, you will meet someone as gorgeous as a rainbow, and your heart will beat with excitement, just like me.

14. In fact, what you really want to do is not to lose anyone.

15. For the rest of my life, my feelings will be casual and my temperament will be natural. I will welcome you when you come and I will send you off when you leave. Live up to your time and meet you.

16. I like your smile and look at you quietly. My sorrow flies away like a cloud.

17. Whether you are by my side or on the horizon, when I think of you in the corner of the world, I feel that the whole world has become gentle and stable.

18. Look, there are so many people and such a big world. I met you and you met me. very nice.

19. Sometimes, you have to stop, wait for your mind, let your mood be peaceful, and think about all the good things you have in your life. Good morning!

20. What can inspire you, warm you, and move you is not inspirational quotes and chicken soup for the soul, but the people around you who are better than you and work harder than you. Good morning!

21. I hope that your efforts will gradually accumulate, your goals will become clearer, and things will slowly develop in the right direction. Good morning!

22. Chase the unknown, be relieved of confusion, and still maintain a constant temperature of growth. Good morning!

23. The sound of nature comes in the early morning, waking up the sleeping soul. The sun fills the bed, covering you with warm clothes. Good morning!

24. Learn to live alone, regardless of whether there is someone around you who loves you. Do what you should do, and treat it with or without love.

25. Turn your face to the sun and you will not see the shadow. Chinese Valentine's Day classic funny jokes Part 4

1. As your doctor friend, I need to tell you that your IQ has dropped to the lowest level now, but your EQ has soared, which is really unexpected! The cause is that you are in love, and the diagnosis is that you are hopeless!

2. Chinese Valentine's Day; Chinese Valentine's Day; my best day; Weaver Girl; Weaver Girl; my beloved wife; heaven and earth; thousands of years gathering together; alas; I love my wife.

3. Dear friend, I have secretly brought Cupid’s little arrow and sent it to you along with this message. It won’t take long before you can enjoy the sweetness of love! Happy Valentine's Day!

4. A glass of fine wine, I wish you true love; a ray of gentle breeze, I wish you true love; a piece of moonlight, I wish you full of tenderness; a bunch of blessings, I wish you boundless happiness; a magpie bridge, I wish you happiness Incomparable!

5. If you blink your eyes, I will die. If you blink again, I will come to life. If you blink your eyes, I will die. Haha, happy Valentine's Day!

6. Chinese Valentine’s Day is here. I wish all lovers in the world will eventually get married. I wish those who haven’t found a wife will meet Snow White as soon as possible, and those who haven’t found a husband will catch the dark horse prince as soon as possible. Everyone looks at me happily. The first blessing!

7. Relationships are like bank deposits, and quarrels are like withdrawals. A quarrel is a withdrawal, and one day it will all be withdrawn! I hope we can make deposits every day without having to quarrel!

8. Everyone’s fate is different, and the time of falling in love will also vary. As long as I do it with all my heart, what I can do is: I will let my love accompany you as you grow old. go.

9. The moment I first saw you, my heart burned. I loved your lovely laughter. You are a gentle, quiet, and very spiritual girl.

10. I don’t love you, I lied to you, it was against my will. I really don’t want to tell lies, but I just don’t love you, I just want to lie to you, and I can’t let you guess me. Heart

11. Being alone, longing for lovesickness, the cold moon is blowing, the evening breeze is blowing, Valentine's Day is coming, I am alone with only my mobile phone on, thinking about the good times, expressing my heartfelt words, sending my blessings, Happy Valentine's Day!

12. My love is like a fine wine, which becomes mellower as time goes by; my love is like a power, with no limit to every minute and every second. On this romantic Valentine's Day, I only dedicate it to you, my dearest one! Happy Valentine's Day!

13. How many sins have to be suffered for a love meeting; how many tears have to be shed for the return of love! The Milky Way makes distance produce beauty, and the legend of love and hate lets everyone in the world know that nothing is more valuable than true love!

14. Do you know what I want to eat during the Chinese Valentine’s Day? Boil you, fry you, steam you; bake you, braise you, braise you; fry you, pan-fry you, serve you cold!

15. Heartbeat is only a momentary thing, but it will take a long time to forget this moment, maybe one year, two years, ten years, or even a lifetime!

16. I’m not so busy anymore, so I’m thinking of finding some part-time job. Professional Love Undergraduate! Specialties: Washing dishes and washing pots! Ability: I love you without telling you! Salary requirements: Your sincerity! Ideal contract period: Valid all year round, never change jobs!

17. Valentine’s Day is here. In view of the fact that you have not exhausted your six sexes and have repeatedly made mistakes, on behalf of the Singles Association, I will sentence you as follows: expulsion from membership, deprivation of the right to be single for life, using happiness as a prisoner, love as a lock, and a fine of Life sentence of marriage, no appeal!

18. When I bump into you, we are in love with each other; when I kiss your mouth, I am drunk with tenderness; when I hug you, I want happiness; when I hook up with you, I am destined to stay together. !

19. Marry me and I will flush your toilet with oil, bathe you with Pepsi-Cola, and take you to and from get off work with a Boeing 777. Promise me?

20. I love you very much! Although you can't understand my sincerity, in my heart, you are the only lover forever! I have learned to forget myself, but I cannot forget you.

21. I miss you, I miss you. The seasons pass by in a hurry, and the years bring changes, but why can’t I always miss you? A long-hanging heart always misses you. I wish you a happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

22. My wish is placed in your hand, and the deep love is as sweet as honey; my wish is put in your heart, and the love in your heart will never change; my love and wish are filled with joy in your eyes. The eyes are tender and full of meaning. On Chinese Valentine's Day, I wish to give you happiness and sweetness!

23. I am the salt in your food. Without me, everything loses its flavor. I am your sun in winter, your popsicle in summer, and your big umbrella on cloudy days.

24. Silliness is my specialty, and insanity is my ideal. When stupidity and insanity are intertwined, it is the most beautiful paradise in my dream. Don’t laugh at me, I am just so infatuated. I will love you stupidly and crazily until I grow old!

25. On the occasion of the Chinese Valentine's Day, I only represent the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl in the sky, Chang'e, the Jade Rabbit, the Jade Emperor, the Queen Mother and the Empress, together with the twenty-eight constellations, to say to all the friends who are fighting on the front line of love and who will enter the front line of love: Happy Holidays .