Is it rude not to reply to text messages?

Have you ever had a moment when you sent a message to a person with great joy and got his love?

You use the enthusiasm of seconds for the ruthlessness of reincarnation, but you are still unwilling. You still can't help sending messages again and again, and the other party is still indifferent and indifferent.

At this time, many people will advise you that it is time to give up and leave the person who makes you suffer. If you can really save enough disappointment, just leave.

But for some people, breaking is also a pain. They would rather get hurt than leave. What shall we do? Actually, it doesn't matter whether we go or not. The most important thing is how to make yourself painless in the face of not being responded.

First of all, there are two main sources of our pain.

First, extroversion attribution, it is impolite and uncultured to think that others don't respond to you, which belongs to extroversion attribution, usually manifested as complaining about others.

Second, introverted attribution. The reason why people don't reply to your message is that you are not good enough and excellent enough, so others don't respect you. It usually shows self-pity.

So how can we resolve the uncomfortable emotions that arise in our hearts?

Cai Kangyong said: "Pull the lens of life away, don't always get close."

Most of the pain in our life is because we look at problems with a magnifying glass, so small things become big things. He didn't reply to your message, so you magnified it as if he looked down on you. He responded to your initiative with silence, and you magnified it into his rejection and rejection of you as a whole.

In fact, sometimes, the other person just wants to stay in his own world for a while without being disturbed by others. Peace of mind, don't care too much, you won't lose too much.

When you are open-minded, you won't easily have inner waves because of other people's behavior, so the harm others give you is limited and fleeting.

First of all, we take the initiative to send messages to others, which means that we need to be satisfied, whether emotionally or materially.

You can take the initiative to link others, but if others don't respond to us as we expect, they will feel angry and depressed. In fact, it is a manifestation of dependent personality, indicating that you are seeking approval.

And when you understand that no one in the world exists to meet your expectations, you will feel relieved because you have not received a response, and you will not complain indignantly or make compromises to please.

You have to do what Yan Rujing said: "Dare to take, but refuse." This is what adults should have.

You send a message to the other party, and the other party doesn't respond. At this time, you have to think about it. Is there any other way to meet your needs?

For example, if you want him to go shopping with you, can you solve this problem yourself?

What you need is someone to accompany you, so can you enjoy loneliness first?

Liu Tong said: "Being able to be congenial to another person is the icing on the cake of life. Learning not to rely on any relationship is the gift for yourself."

When you learn not to rely on any relationship, you won't complain about others, or even feel sorry for yourself because you can't woo. It is to treat others' non-response reasonably.

The product of people in society, actively linking others, is the way out of their own world. There is nothing wrong with taking the initiative to fight for it.

For example, if you want to go shopping with A, but A ignores you, then maybe B can help you out. You want to make friends with Xiao Wang, but he doesn't. You can talk to another friend. There shouldn't be only one person in your world, and you shouldn't take one person as everything.

There are many ways to solve your needs. You can not only satisfy yourself, but also nourish your growth through interaction with others.

When you can accept others' indifference, don't respond or even refuse, you can actually refuse others more frankly.

When others don't respond to you, they are just protecting their own borders. The high wall you put up just wants to stay in a comfortable place. This is human nature, and if you understand it, there will be no pain of making much ado about nothing.

The book "The Courage of Being Disliked" says that how we treat others is our own subject, and how others treat us is their subject.

We can't change others, nor can we decide how others treat us. We just need to do our duty well. How to be responded to is someone else's business, so we should give others freedom.

In love, if you like someone who doesn't like you so much, love, even if he doesn't give you love in return, as long as you are willing, as long as the process of loving him is happy.

Haruki Murakami said: "As long as you can love someone from the heart, life will be saved."

But if you can't love someone unconditionally and without expectation, then pain is inevitable.

When many people like another person, they will fall into a cycle of giving and pleasing. Once they don't get a response from the other side, they will continue to increase their chips. Finally, because the cost of silence is too high, it is increasingly difficult to give up. At this time, not being paranoid is the fundamental reason to solve the pain.

If you still can't put it down, please continue. If you love too much, you will naturally leave. If you are in pain, you will naturally let go.

Tagore said: "When the pain reached its peak and the last moment was unbearable, that was the moment when he woke up."

Everything will be turned upside down, and there will be more pain to force you to leave.

Can you believe it? The pain is actually self-inflicted.

The pain of not getting an answer is only one of the minor cognitive obstacles. If you haven't studied psychology, you won't realize that most of the pain in your life is caused by your own planning.

In the book Mr Toad goes to see a psychiatrist, the hero Toad suffers from depression. After seeing a psychiatrist, I found that the reason for his pain lies in the attitude of people around him.

When he was down and out, his friends accused him of poverty and shame. When he did something wrong, he was disliked and scolded, which made toad feel worthless and even lost the meaning of living.

In fact, the pain of not being responded and the pain of being treated with a negative attitude are essentially because we lack the inner self and always want to fill it with external love because we don't love ourselves enough.

When others negatively evaluate us or ignore us, we always suffer instinctively, but we can actually choose our own emotions.

Psychologist Helen said, "I don't think anyone can make us feel anything unless they intimidate you with brute force." After all, we chose feelings, we chose anger, and I chose sadness. "

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Please remember that in any case, we all have the right to choose, and pain is also a choice. When an adult has the ability to choose emotions, it is truly mature. And if you haven't studied psychology, you may not realize that the subconscious mind is actually leading your emotions and life direction.

When your emotions are always dominated by others, how can you use psychology to perceive your subconscious and find ways to channel your emotions, so that your body and mind can be quiet and your interpersonal relationship can be smoother?

I think this introductory book on British national psychology can give you the answer. If your interpersonal relationship is always unsatisfactory and you feel painful and confused in intimate relationships, please don't stop learning. There must be a solution.

Bi Shumin said:' Learning psychology is the happiness of life.

This book outlines complex and difficult psychological knowledge in a simple way through the form of stories. After 10 times of soul searching with Mr. Toad, you will find your inner obstacles, get rid of your inner shackles, and find more possibilities for a smooth and happy relationship.

Finally, I hope everyone can grow up from the topic that will never be answered. Please take the initiative to link with the world and try to accept others' unresponsiveness like old friends. When you can accept love with a calm heart and tolerate not being loved, you will gain inner joy and peace and evolve into a better person.

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