Funny text messages describing others as pig-like

I don’t want to be your parallel line, and I can only watch you from a distance in my life; I don’t want to be your intersecting line, and go farther and farther after a moment of tenderness; I only want to be with you In a straight line, you go in front of me and I drive you into the pigsty!

The north wind started to blow again. You are always so careless. Every time you ask me to remind you to wear more clothes, but you always answer me with disdain: I am so thick. What is the pig skin used for? Are you still afraid of that little wind?

The sun has risen, the troubles have passed, and you will be full of energy to welcome a wonderful today, okay! Get out of the nest! Shake the pig's hair, wash the pig's face, and work hard for feed!

--Tea should be drunk until the fragrance is lingering; the road should be difficult until the bitterness is gone; people should have deep feelings until they can love again in the next life; pig's trotters should be fresh Yes, Huh? This one is great for holding a cell phone!

In the past, I only knew that the little pig could not speak, so he only knew how to hum. But then I met you, and I realized that you are better at humming than the little pig. As for you, you still hum!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? you do not know? By the way, pigs don’t know either!

Aike from Baby Pig: You have to congratulate me. First of all, if you have a pig's culture, education, and literacy, you can understand your text messages. It’s the pig’s reading, according to what the pigs in the world are saying

Waiting for a subway, five minutes; watching a movie, three hours; watching the moon waxing and waning, a month; missing someone, a lifetime ! But a word of concern only takes a few seconds: It’s cold, please put more grass in the nest!

Read it in Sichuan dialect: Dai Yi crossed the black area, Mom area was low. At night, a tiger jumped out of the canal and threw Li Dai to the ground, but I risked you and others. I risked it for Moss. Your other columns? Because it has four axes, it doesn't live in a building!

A little pig is about to be slaughtered. The butcher came to catch it viciously. But Xiaozhu said impassionedly, "Don't be afraid of death. Wait until I finish reading this text message." Haha

God did not give the pigs wisdom because he wanted the pigs to be happy. Therefore, you must be happy.

Are you worried about being as fat as a pig? Is it sinful to be as lazy as a pig? Is it pitiful to be as stupid as a pig? Of course not, you are a pig! Whatever you want to do, do it!

You were in a duel with a wild boar and got kicked in the head. The wild boar said: Grandma! Domestic pigs still want to fight wild boars and seek death!

It turns out that Rijiu is really in love, I have fallen in love with you! But I’m afraid that one day you will leave me. Why can’t I cherish this fate after I truly choose? I wish I could be together forever, but the police uncle said that raising pigs is not allowed in the city!

One day, Bajie asked Tang Seng: Master, am I really the ugliest person in this world? Tang Monk looked troubled and said: Go ask Sister Guanyin! Bajie came back from Guanyin and asked cheerfully: Haha, master, who is ##? Ha ha!

It was late at night, and the little pig was crying sadly. Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

Guess the lantern riddle: You stand with the pig. (Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant

A pair of lovers together is called Qingqingwomei, a couple together is called Yongjietongxin, but you are simple, you and a pig are called Doubles. right.

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, and blessed ears, you can’t help but sigh out loud———— Pig!

You went to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste and left. The cashier looked at your background and sighed: The world has changed, and pigs have evolved to brush their teeth!

They say pigs are lazy, but I don’t think so. At least now, I find a pig reading text messages.

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been eternally correct: A=B, B=C, so A=C, you=animal, animal=pig, so you=pig.

New signs in the animal world: ants raped African elephants, lions sold spicy hotpot, rats had sex with snakes, sharks and donkeys went to shopping malls, and piglets were even crazier, pretending to be hooligans with a mobile phone, hey, As for you, you still read the demo!

That day I called you a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Finally, you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted to me in front of many people, "I am a pig." It’s weird if it’s not a pig”!

If you receive this message, you are a chubby pink pig; if you delete this message, you are a small African black pig; if you reply to this message, you are a Rwandan wild boar; if you do not reply, you are a Ukrainian large white pig; if you save it, you are an American pig. Perverted pig, hey, let’s see what you do

Sunrise + sunset = morning and evening moon + stars = infinite longing for wind flowers + snowy moon = tenderness and sweet shooting stars + heartfelt wishes = thousands of blessings for you + Charcoal fire = fragrant suckling pig

Weird thing, really weird thing! Last time I accidentally spilled half a pot of boiling water on your hand and you said it was fine and it didn't hurt at all! Later, I looked up public proverbs and found out that a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water!

The cobra is highly short-sighted. After being polite with the elephant on their first date, the cobra said to the elephant's trunk: Come on, you are too polite to bring such a big pig. Let me ask again, is this pig called ##?

You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I am smiling because you are strong, and I am rich because of you. Sold...the pig!

I have always been by your side and worried about you again and again. Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I've always known that you just can't take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I am rich! You can say loudly: Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

How can I bear to watch you leave? We have spent so many warm and happy times together, but today we are breaking up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: Wait a minute, I won’t sell this pig anymore

I miss you day after day, and I still haven’t changed when I am lonely. When will the beautiful dream come true? Appear! My dear, I really want to see you! But I just can’t find you living in that pigsty! A dead pig has a bad sleeping position and falls asleep again.

There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those raised at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read messages are called stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, and those who are angry are stupid pigs. Ignore me. Those who don’t reply are worse than pigs~~~

The weather changes for free, be careful of catching a cold, and I would like to express my concern for you again: the first is to take off your clothes; the second is to stay late; the third is to give cold drinks ; The four precepts are picky eaters; the five precepts are cold baths; the six precepts are drunkenness; the seven precepts are to wear quilts; the eight precepts are, do you understand?

If autumn is gone, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world is gone, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you in tears; if I leave, I will let him take care of you. His pig-raising skills are not bad, really.

The intermittent rain makes me think endlessly. , To put it bluntly, I just miss you. When the weather is nice and sunny, I will take you to that piece of grass, but I have made an agreement in advance: the pigs are only allowed to eat grass and are not allowed to dig into the ground!

I have countless friends in the past, but after thinking about it, you are still the coolest. I have searched for you hundreds of times in my dreams, but when I look back suddenly, you are still in my pig shed, eating grass, leaning against the tree, and your tail can’t stop wagging. , it turns out you are chewing on my tree, damn it!

I met you by chance, and I was so confused that I didn’t know what to do. I can't avoid your loving eyes. I understand your heart. I ran away desperately but you followed me closely.

I cried: "Whose pig is so hungry?"

I haven’t heard from you for a long time

I have been missing you these past two days

I feel very confused

Looking for your favorite pond

The dining hut

The sleeping lawn

Still missing you

My heart is almost broken

......

Why did we lose such a big pig?

My friends said that we We will never be happy together

They advised me to give up on you and leave you

But I really like you and can’t bear to leave you

For this reason I I had a falling out with them

Why?

They are allowed to raise dogs, but I am not allowed to raise pigs

I used to be just an ordinary knight, until I met You are the most mysterious person in the world, and I called your name out of nowhere. From then on, I became the "Pig-Knowing Man" respected by everyone in the world

Little Piggy is amazing, sleeping until ten every day After lighting it up, all five bowls were eaten. No one dared to compare in weight. I want to ask where is the little pig? Smirking and reading text messages.

The king asked for 100 pigs, but the minister only brought 99. The king said: "Where is 1 more pig?" The minister said: "There is 1 more pig who is reading the text message!"

I want to tell you what I mean when you are the happiest. In the warm and romantic New Year, the opportunity finally comes - you are like a pig when you are happy, and more like a pig when you are angry. Happy New Year, Pig!

I spend my days like this: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tyson, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting about scandals with Clinton, blowing up buildings with Bin Laden, and giving hair to pigs. Short message.

Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does; not every pig can receive text messages, but you Did it!

There is a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that there will be a big pig flying across the sky. It's a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine, there are so many people watching you fly!

Those raised at home are domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read this message are stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, those who are angry are fat pigs, and those who ignore me are dead. Pigs, those who don’t reply are worse than pigs.

The moment I cruelly turned around and left, you cried helplessly behind me. The heartbreaking pain made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale!

I just saw you in the supermarket! You reach out to the barcode scanner, and the screen displays: Pig's trotters are 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, so you turned your face over to take a look. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

You are the best. I start to miss you again. I am no longer angry with you. And I feel that my love for you is getting deeper every day. That’s because someone told me... the price of pork has increased, you Get a good price!

Let me ask you a riddle: There are two drops of water on the pig's butt. Name a song... You can't guess it, but your face is filled with tears.

I told my mother that I like you and I want you to go to my house and stay with me day and night, you know? Through these days of interaction, I found that I can no longer live without you, but my mother refused. She said: Pigs are not allowed to be raised at home!

You are dragging a pig shopping, looking very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before I finished speaking, I saw the pig abandoning you with disdain.

Life is so tiring! You have to queue up to get on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating has no flavor, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is very tiring, you can’t rob, you have to pay taxes to earn money, and even sending a text message to Xiaozhu has to be charged~!

Busy? It's okay, I just want to tell you in a way that doesn't disturb you, I'm thinking of you! I hope that when you receive this text message, you will smile at the corner of your mouth, arch your nose, and hum twice to let other pigs know that the owner likes you the most!

A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement Beans".

The little pig cried sadly. Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid.

His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

The light rain is floating in the sky, as if you are laughing at my insanity. Why are you so selfish and cruel, making me miss you in vain? I racked my brains and wrote poems full of heartache. Who knew that only pig heads and idiots were staring at this poem on their mobile phones?

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Every time the wind and rain are severe, I am the one who cares for you. When there is famine, I will bring you food. Your honest and honest expression makes me excited. In fact, raising a pig is quite a sense of accomplishment!

In this warm and romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws his eggs, which are round and round. Pig, happy round eggs!

Party members keep fresh: Don’t drink party wine for a day. I don’t know how to take the route. Don’t eat party food for a day. I don’t know how to do my job. One day without party money. I don’t know how to fill in the invoice. Don’t smoke party cigarettes for a day. I don’t know how to sign my name.

Difficulties in keeping fresh education: criticizing superiors for being difficult to maintain official positions; criticizing peers for being difficult to maintain; criticizing oneself for looking for trouble; criticizing subordinates for reducing votes; criticizing husbands for messing around; criticizing children for having no one to support them in their old age. What is good about this situation?

It is said that a blind man told fortunes very accurately, and everyone brought a sloughed pig to let him tell fortunes. The blind man was overjoyed after touching it and said: "He has wide hips and a round belly. He is a contemporary party member. He has a big face and small eyes. He is a leader. His skin is tender and his meat is being kept fresh!"