A letter from my husband, teaching children not to be careless

*i*, you went to bed too late last night, so I didn’t talk to you. Now I will discuss the educational issues of Mao Doudou with you through text. Maybe you didn’t notice, but if I don’t If you are asked to change, the consequences will be very serious, and this is not an alarmist statement.

In today’s society, it is too convenient to obtain information resources, and children can easily be attracted by these “flowery” worlds. In order for children like Mao Doudou to be able to study calmly and develop good habits within these three years, the main thing is not how much they learn, but the cultivation of their interest in learning and their autonomy. Therefore, an education method that focuses on health, encouragement, and guidance is very important.

We should not pay too much attention to the results, but should make Doudou feel that learning is interesting, fun and useful in the future. So, you go upstairs every time you have a good meal, but you never care about how I educate Doudou. Let me tell you now:

I always tell her to spell out Pinyin by herself. For the sake of the Lord, it really took a long time, so I asked "five or ten times". She agreed, and I spelled it out for her, and then she took the initiative to spell it out a few times by herself. If you don’t know the topic, ask me. After all the homework is done and I revise it, I will assign her extracurricular activities: a half-hour (reading Pinyin) app each time. This is a game and study she likes very much. So last time I was very surprised and told me, Mom, I can spell out my favorite cartoons in pinyin. I told her that Pinyin is amazing. Because before she asked me why I wanted to learn Pinyin because it was difficult. I didn't use an adult tone to force her to learn, but I seriously discussed with her that Chinese characters are vast and profound, and it is difficult to form a system without pinyin. I taught her and her grandmother taught her. Without pinyin, it is easy to make mistakes.

She told me on the phone the day before yesterday that she had learned many vowels. Did you know that she spent a day using the APP to learn seven initial consonants? Because there were still seven points left on Friday, and that APP couldn't skip levels. Even if she knew the initials, she could only get through step by step.

Do you think you would take the initiative to learn like this when you were studying? Because learning makes her happy, she takes the initiative to learn. And you used the high attitude of a parent to suppress her and let her cry. You thought that if you let her cry, she would give in and be obedient, but now her crying will turn into sweat that you will regret in the future. Because I taught her, she basically wouldn’t cry. You saw it just once. Because of her bad study habits, I made up my mind to let her cry once, and then gave her a "candy" to tell her the problem of not studying hard. , what will happen if you learn it well? So her habit is growing very quickly.

For mathematics, she is actually pretty good, but she can’t always understand the questions. I always read the questions a few times, and then she does it by herself. If she can’t do it, she puts it aside. She checked, circled her questions, and asked her if there was any problem here.

For the textbook, I asked her to read it first and circle the incorrect parts. After she finished reading, I revised it with her. She was very happy and discussed every time, so please sign it for me first and I will read it right away. I think this adjustment is okay, and she can start to put away the stationery, sign it without any problems, and it also increases her interest. And last night, I felt she asked you timidly: Dad, can you sign? Your attitude is like an emperor, but you don't feel it yourself. In fact, your daughter, a person with high emotional intelligence, must be very sad. This feeling is equivalent to what your dad forced you to do when you were a child, but you refused. Doudou is still young and doesn't know how to resist, but if your attitude reaches her junior high school, what will happen if she disobeys her parents' discipline? In fact, the emergence of problematic girls in the rebellious stage is not caused by a day or two, but by impulsive violence, cold violence, and direct communication accumulated over time in family education.

Your education method is actually cold violence. But if you don't change, I will be very tired, and Doudou will also reduce the fun of learning.

So I want to make a three-part agreement with you: first treat Doudou as a friend and grow up together. Teachers preach and teach, but you still can’t be a teacher. If you didn’t apologize to Doudou after you got the question wrong, do you think it’s really over? You actually lose points in Doudou’s mind. So when teaching Doudou, treat her growing interest in learning as a kind of care, be careful and don't be impatient.

She has only been reading for two months, which is too weak for someone like you who has been reading for more than ten years. If you were to study now, wouldn’t there be anyone who could not read well? Such a delicate young seedling has been so easily discounted by you before it has had time to accept the destruction of the big information after the second or third grade. How much time and opportunity will it take for me to turn it around? And you probably won’t be good at math problems after fourth grade. Do I want to glare at you, be harsh on you, and make you cry?

Secondly, she may make mistakes or don’t understand, so be patient. You can let her adjust it a little, you can let her find the answer on her own, you can let her tell her, and then let her read it a few times to enrich it. I have always told her with a positive teaching material that I am also reading, and I read it five times a day. In fact, it is impossible for me, but I actually tell her that the more you read, the better. She won't just come a few times. After finishing the homework, let her watch the app, or find a book with pinyin to read by yourself. She will be interested.

Third, put yourself in her shoes, think about her foundation, and think about your childhood. Our childhood education grew up in a rough, direct, and burdensome model. Because the period was the same at that time, no one could find it anywhere. But today's children are not. There are too many diversified learning models, and various environments can be created. What changes under quality education are learning methods, innovative development, interest development, skill improvement, and cultural and sports promotion. Without good study habits and fun as a foundation, Doudou would be hanging around and falling quickly. I didn't let Doudou take any interest classes during the summer because I wanted her to develop her interests in school. We must have a clear goal: not for homework, not for grades, not for teacher praise, parents' love, and classmates' respect, but for having good study habits and knowing how to take active learning, creative ideas, broad knowledge, and persistence. A good habit of perseverance. Having this good habit will be of great help for your study in the next few years or even more than ten years. Not only will it reduce our burden, it will even be her future wealth.