Humorous text messages, interesting names

Knowing you has benefited me a lot. When you are with animals, I know the meaning of "birds of a feather flock together". When you are with people, I know the origin of the word "V".

During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you were the commander-in-chief, with a pot cover on your head, a sack on your back, two plastic bags hanging around your waist, two cans in your hand and two Chinese cabbages on your feet. You rushed in and shouted, "Who has a broken bottle to sell!" "

I said that day, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig." So from now on, I will call you "pig"! Finally, one day, you couldn't bear it and shouted in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

4. Why are we destined to be together in this life? In fact, we met 1000 years ago! It was in that autumn that you chased me for a long time and left me an eternal memory with your teeth marks. My name was Lv Dongbin at that time.

Promise me that no matter what happens, you will be calm, no matter what you do, you will be firm, you will be optimistic and happy whenever and wherever you meet, and you will never tell anyone that you are crazy!

6. You stayed up for seven days and nights, looking arrogant, supercilious and exclusive, so you went to an ideal convalescent resort-a mental hospital.

7. People are iron and rice is steel. If you don't eat a meal, you will be hungry. When I saw you, my heart panicked. I don't care if it's iron or steel, I will vomit quickly and run away! ! !

8. The Tang Priest decided to cast a spell on Bajie, Friar Sand and Baimalong. When putting on white, the horse cried, "master, you will put on four more hoops." I am a BMW. Don't let people treat me like an Audi. "

9. Seedless watermelon has been successfully developed, and it has participated in various celebration parties and reports frequently, with infinite scenery. Other watermelons are envious. A watermelon said angrily, "What's there to see?" ? There is no next generation. "

10. The boss pointed to the beautiful yellow bird in the cage and said, "This bird is honest and can't fly around." The guest bought it at a high price and opened the cage door: "fly, go home." The yellow bird smiled: "I was fooled, but I am a chicken!" " "