The funniest humorous joke text messages

1.

Are you working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and to take care of your health. But you always say meaningfully: "If I don't roll a few more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in the winter!!"

2.

There are some things you should know! The sky is used to blow wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind; and you: "It is used to stew vermicelli.!"

3.

Don’t get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and shouting: "Is it a brother? It was a brother who did it!!"

4.

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. If I can’t smash you, it will be in vain. alive.

5.

If autumn goes away, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world goes away, I will love you in heaven; if I go away, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are pretty good!

6.

I know you care about hygiene. You wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and wash them very carefully. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time!!"

7.

It is a very happy thing to miss you; it is a very happy thing to see you; loving you is what I will always do; keeping you in my heart is what I have always done ; However, lying to you happened just now.

8.

I will pray to the Buddha every day for a long-lasting blooming rose. When there are nine hundred and ninety-nine roses, I will give them to you and say emotionally: "Young man, I don’t believe that the bees you attract will not be able to bloom." Sting you! ”

9.

According to reports: A few days ago, Iraqi militants hung your photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of US soldiers to vomit and die. After investigating and collecting evidence, the United Nations confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction. You should run away.

10.

Couples in Western countries always get divorced because their god of love is a baby. Look at China's Yuexia Laoren. They are full of experience, so the marriages of Chinese couples are more permanent. When Carrot met the customer, he respectfully handed over his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked: What do you call Korean ginseng? Carrot's small waist straightened up, "I'm so jealous!"

11.

When you wake up today, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and a suicide note next to you: I struggled all night, and your shame makes me shameless in this world! Lord forgive him! I committed suicide.

12.

Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You are wearing a plaid vest and walking slowly with a detached and comfortable look. You are so cute. I don’t know how you could beat the rabbit back then. ?

13.

In one year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend. As a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married, and the groom was the postman who delivered these letters to her.

14.

The barber was shaving the customer's face while chatting. He was so busy chatting that he accidentally shaved off one side of the customer's eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to grow your eyebrows? Guest: I want to stay! Barber: Ouch! Why didn't you tell me earlier? One side has already been shaved off!

15.

Husband: Honey, I’m fired. Just because of a trivial matter, so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after get off work last night. But they didn’t even think about who would dare to steal the tiger!

16.

"Do you know why men like to have long hair like ladies these days?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say 'This It's my hair!'"

17.

You are an intern in a mental hospital. Suddenly a mentally ill patient is chasing you with a kitchen knife. You turn around and run until you reach a dead end. Thinking that this is the end, the patient says: "Here." You knife, it’s your turn to chase me!”

18.

A certain player can't even catch the ball. When practicing passing and receiving, another player passed a good ball to him. He was afraid that he would not catch the ball firmly, so he shouted "Catch it firmly". As a result, the ball hit his head, and he only heard him say "With whom?"

19.

When you are alone and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can use a knife to cut it, peel it, chop it, and at the same time, you can vent yourself and shout loudly: "I kill the pen, I kill the pen, I kill the pen!!"

20.

The sky is so clear, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so vast. You are standing on the blue seaside, and I poke you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard has a pretty hard shell." ! ”