Campus funny phrases

Candidate: I didn't graduate from primary school.

Examiner: Have you ever been in a fight?

Candidate: It's the usual practice.

Examiner: Do you have a criminal record?

Candidate: Just came out.

Examiner: What about physical fitness?

Candidate: Not bad. You can kick over the peddler's tricycle with one foot.

Examiner: Dare to take other people's things?

Examinee: This is my strong point, just like taking my own things.

Examiner: Does the old man dare to fight?

Candidate: Cai Xiao, my father crippled me.

Examiner: You passed the exam. What our city management needs is talents like you!

Examiner: One more question. What should I do if something happens?

Applicant: Just say it's a temporary worker.

Examiner: Go to work tonight.

2. One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd.

The fashionable girl turned back and said, "Are you sick?"

The man was puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

The people in the car snickered!

The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly, "Can you cure it?"

The whole car is funny!

The bus driver stopped and laughed on the steering wheel!

Second:

The bus was very crowded, and a woman stood at the door.

A GG pushed out of the car from the back and said to the woman, "Sorry, get off.".

The woman didn't move.

GG stepped on her when she pushed past.

As a result, this woman was so powerful that she kept cursing: "You are crazy! You're crazy! ~ ~ ",loud enough for the whole car to watch.

GG hasn't spoken. When he got off the bus, he couldn't stand it. He turned to the woman and said, "Repeater!"

There are some interesting children in the back. They have been playing the scene just now.

A said, "You are crazy! ............................... "B" said: "You repeat the machine, you ..."

The whole car laughed ~!

Later, a little MM also got off the bus, squeezed past and said timidly, "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not crazy ~!" "

The whole car laughed again ~!

The woman didn't speak, and a word came from the side: "Are you out of power?"

The whole car is laughing ~!

3. Confucius said; Fight with bricks, don't play chaos! Press your head! Whether you are dead or not!

Buddha said; Bullshit! I am kind! Stop playing! A brick is dead! ! !

On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, it was calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "When an adult goes out without anything, it is not shameful to lose him." - "

On Tuesday, I took a broken wallet with 1 cent in it. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. - "

On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet, which contained 100 counterfeit bills. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "It is illegal to hide a large face value, so please turn it over to the relevant department consciously. - "

On Thursday, I took an envelope containing a stack of overdue People's Daily of Talented People in the Straits. When I arrived at the terminal, I found the envelope was still there. I took out my newspaper and looked at it. The newspaper was replaced by the latest straits talent newspaper, with the remark of 1: "Now is the consulting era. Only by updating information in time can we seize the opportunity and win success! - "

On Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. After arriving at the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there was another note: "Please don't make such jokes, which will affect the normal work of our company. - "

On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it in my waist. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone and a note was stuffed in my pants: "I hate you robbers most, you have no technical content at all!" " Confiscate criminal tools! - "

On Sunday, I was about to get on the bus, but there were too many people to squeeze in. While waiting for the next train, I felt in my pocket and found that I had more money from 20 yuan and a note: "Big Brother, it's not easy to do our job all day. This is 20 yuan. You can take a taxi to where you want to go, please don't mess with us. "

6. One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was hot and boring. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it As it happens, the conductor is asking, "Who didn't buy the ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" "

7. A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. This name was publicly solicited from students outside the school, and as a result, many people's slogans coincide-reading is the best for a bird!

9. The loss of bicycles in school is very serious. The new car disappears in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will reappear every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new gearbox car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a note in his hand, which reads: Don't be the master here, I borrowed the car, and I will pay you back in a few days!

A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride!

There are three tadpoles at 10. They went to a restaurant for dinner ... and waited for a while. The first course was fried frogs. ..

Three tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to grow up. ...

1 1 One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them that each of you should go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said that if they can put the fruit they brought into their ass, they will be released. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success, so he was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes again and was killed. After arriving in the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" Guan Yu sighed and said, "If you don't laugh, you won't die." I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "

12, I went to eat KFC yesterday. The man behind me looks like a couple. Seeing that they ordered a lot of food, they sat next to me. After sitting down, the girl began to eat hard, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy chewed French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind.

Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" "

Without looking up, the girl said directly, "No!"

The boy asked again, "Is this completely impossible?"

The girl simply said, "Not at all!"

The boy froze, looked straight at her and stayed there …

At that time, the girl held a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other. She thought the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, then looked at the boy with poor eyes and whispered, "So ... can I still eat?" "

Everyone around me, including me, laughed. The boy said helplessly, "Eat, eat ..."

This MM is so cute ... if I don't let it go, I must chase it ... desperately! ! ! !

13, I have been restless at school. I taught myself for the first time when I was a freshman. I was depressed sitting in the classroom, and then I ran to the aisle to smoke.

Not long after I lit a cigarette, a PL girl came over and asked me, "I'm teaching myself now! How did you get out? "

I said, I'm bored by smoking. Well, which class are you in? How also ran out.

PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class!

At that time, I was particularly excited to say, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed?

She said: well, a freshman in our class came out from self-study and I came out to find him.

I smiled, it seems that someone still can't sit still. What do you want from him? You're not his mother!

MM: I can't help it. I'm his head teacher!

I was cheated ...

A minute later, I choked up and said, Teacher, you look so young …

14 dad is a worker in a glass factory and has the habit of working with gloves.

One night shift, he took a taxi home. When the car passed a small forest in the suburbs, a cool breeze blew. Dad felt a little cold, so he took out the glove strap from his pocket. The driver saw it in the rearview mirror and asked cautiously, "Brother, what are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm used to it. I always wear gloves when I work, so I won't cut myself or leave any marks ... "

15 A middle-aged man went to a local private hotel on business.

When eating the night before, the middle-aged man was very upset when he saw several stains on the edge of the plate.

He asked the hotel owner, "This dish looks dirty." The boss replied, "Don't worry, mineral water will make it clean."

Hearing this answer, middle-aged people began to eat very comfortably.

A week passed, the middle-aged man ate in the hotel every day and met a big dog in the hotel.

When leaving, the middle-aged man walked out of the gate, and the dog reluctantly caught up with him and held him tightly and wouldn't let him leave.

Seeing this, the hotel owner went to the dog and patted it on the head. He said softly, "Let the guests go, mineral water."

The hunter hunted and saw two birds in the tree. He shot down one with a gun and found it hairless. Just wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: Damn, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes, and you shot her down. . .

A parrot was hung in front of a hotel. When a guest arrived, he said, "Hello, welcome!" " An old customer thought, I'll go in and see your reaction. One day he ran in and the parrot said, "Damn it! You scared me! ! ! "

18 A child in the delivery room smiled after birth. The midwife was very surprised. When she gathered around to observe, she found the child's fist clenched tightly. After breaking it, she found that it was an abortion pill. She only heard the child say: He *! Do you want to kill me? It's not that easy! !

19 After the performance, the leader took the stage to hold the beautiful Mongolian actress's hand and asked her name. The actress said excitedly, Maragabi

20 stops are higher and you can see farther; Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible! Go your own way and let others take a taxi. Wear other people's shoes and let others find them.

2 1 what is depression? Just hit more than 30 people, hugged a handful of hemp, stole a wallet, and my wife ran away with someone. At home, when I smelled porridge, it was still rancid. As soon as my eyes turned, the ambulance went to the hospital and fell into a ditch!

Moon cakes fall in love with steamed bread and pursue it desperately. Steamed bread swears to death. The moon cake is sad: (Hong Kong accent) What is this for? Steamed bread: My mother said that your stomach is full of huahuachangzi.

One day, hens were flying around on the roof, and the owner said angrily, "Come down, or I will kill all the cocks here and make your life worse than death." The hen smiled and said, "Finally, we can find the duck."

An American, a Frenchman and an China were walking in the desert. They saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can satisfy each of you three wishes!" " Americans first said, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "it's very simple, it satisfies you!" Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " "After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish:" Take me home. The fairy said, "No problem. "So the United States

Americans returned to America with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want a beautiful woman!" " "The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" " "The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the French back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted. China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China said, "I miss China and Americans very much. Please bring them all back. " The French and Americans are extremely popular, but they are helpless, so the three of them can only go on. Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of that fairy just now, and my magic is not as strong as his, so I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you." The French and Americans think it's best to let China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy realized his wish. The French and Americans urged the people of China to express their second wish as soon as possible. After drinking Erguotou, China people slowly said to the immortal, "OK.

Okay, that's okay. Go away. "An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring in the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal chief said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After hitting 70 boards, the mat was smashed, and then there was blood on the board ... After that, America always left. When the Japanese saw it, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, but nothing happened; Then he bragged about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with his smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in the Chinese drama. The China people slowly squatted down and said slowly, "Come, give me the Japanese mat." ... 1, the worst dream when I was a child. When I was a child, my worst dream was that I was looking for the toilet. The most terrible thing is that the toilet was discovered before people woke up. . .

2. There is a problem in Chinese, which is to write a four-word phrase. The radical capital of each word is the same as the capital radical, and it is required that each word cannot be repeated. My first reaction was a ghost, but unfortunately I couldn't write a word. Suppressed for a long time, wrote "playing with glass balls" ... rivers and lakes, harps and pipa, choppy, so many words ... I played with glass balls ... At that time, I thought Peking University could not want me! !

3. Kindergarten wants to go to primary school. Because I heard that there is no need to take a nap in primary school. Elementary school wants to go to junior high school. Because I heard you don't have to sit with your hands behind your back. Junior high school wants to go to high school. Because I heard that high school teachers can't manage the east and west. High school wants to go to college. Because I heard that there is a lot of free time in college. The university wants to work. Because I heard there was no class at work. After work, I found that kindergarten is easier to mix. . . 4. Yesterday, I revisited Blue's classic All Rise, and my girlfriend looked contemptuous in the prelude: Shit, you still listen to Phoenix Legend. .........

After Gaddafi was arrested, he made a hullabaloo about. He has been repeating a sentence: I am fake, I am fake. The soldier asked convincingly: Where is it? Gaddafi said something that he regretted all his life: "It's really in China". The soldier's face was silent. He raised his gun and aimed it at Gaddafi. He said, "There is nothing real in China!

6. Erqi Road Forum users: The docking of Shenzhou-8 and Tiangong-1 will definitely be completed smoothly, because China has always been at the advanced level in the world in rear-end collision.

7. The boss said to his wife: Eat! Sleep! Say to your lover: eat and sleep. Say to the hostess: eat and sleep. Say to the beauty: eat, sleep and sleep. Say to Xiaomi: Eat and sleep. Say to the staff: what to eat! Sleep what! All overtime!

8. The hero was abolished by the beautiful woman; Beauty is wasted by a big price; Handsome guy, abandoned by rich woman; Life was ruined by mortgage; Youth is wasted by work; San Xiao abolished marriage; Students are wasted by online games; Online games were abolished by violence; Children abandoned by Sanlu; My Lord, it was abolished by Shuanghui; Faith was abolished by Brother Chun; Aesthetics was abolished by Xifeng; Xifeng, abandoned by the moon; Dreams have been abandoned by reality.

It is said that the final exam is still far away. I hope that students will take surprise attack as the main factor, supplemented by cheating: adopt the principle of "teachers entering Tibet, teachers withdrawing copies, and circuitous operations"! Send you a couplet: If you don't cheat in the exam, you'd rather be a junior next year than fail the exam without personality. Horizontal criticism: I must die. Three long and one short skills are necessary for the exam, and the shortest choice; Three short and one long choose the longest; Choose b with different lengths; If it is not uniform, choose d. Mainly copying, supplemented by Mongolia, combined with copying, Mongolia will certainly pass.

10, having sex with a woman for free is a one-night stand. It's whoring for 300 yuan to have sex with a woman. Spend 0.2 million/200 thousand to have sex with a woman, raise a lover or pack n bottles of milk. It is husband and wife to have sex with a woman with her life savings. This shows that the more money you spend, the more stable the relationship between men and women!

1 1, the high number gives me the feeling that this fucking card still works! Two: How the fuck is this proved? Three: You can fucking prove it!

12, when we were young, our parents always lied that we found it in the trash can, so most people just laughed. My parents always said that my cousin picked it up. I asked my grandparents, and they all said they picked it up. Everyone thinks it's funny to make fun of him. Until one day, when the whole family was eating, he suddenly knelt down and cried and thanked his parents for letting him live a good life without begging. From then on, the family never joked about it again.

13, during the break, I saw a classmate touching his abdomen with one hand, holding his forehead with the other hand, and closing his eyes like a thinker ... There was a math book on the desk ... I was curious at that time, so I took a closer look, but the classmate said to me, "Brother, can you lend me a piece of toilet paper?"

14, wife: I am better than you in all aspects, but I am not as good as you. Dave: What's worse than me? Wife: My spouse is inferior to yours.

15, Goose asks Goose, "Why do you call Dad Emperor Ama?" The goose said to the gosling, "Because I am your mother goose."

16 A young man proposed to a girl, and the girl said, "However, we have only known each other for three days. Do you know me? " The young man said quickly, "Yes, yes, I have known you for a long time." "Really?" "Yes, I worked in a bank for three years. I know exactly how much money your father has. "

17, one night, I missed my boyfriend so much that I called his cell phone and turned it off, so I sent a short message to his roommate. Me: Is my boyfriend there? -My roommate replied: He fell asleep. Me: Oh, do me a favor, slap his left face and right face, and say good night for me, will you? -After a while, my boyfriend called me. I'm curious: first, why did you wake up? -My boyfriend: My dormitory is very obedient and slapped me. ...

18, a student who meets the application conditions applied for financial aid for poor students, but was rejected because of arrears in tuition fees. The reason why poor students are rejected to apply for poverty allowance is poverty.

19, friend a lost her mobile phone some time ago, so she took a knockoff machine that her mother had eliminated before and used it first. It is big and ugly. One day, I was shopping and walked around casually. Suddenly, a man approached me timidly and asked, "Do you know that man just now? "I am confused: huh? Which guy? . Passerby A: Oh, I just saw him take your mobile phone out of his bag and put it back. I thought you knew each other. . A: Exactly. . . . When the students went to the school cafeteria to eat, they found that the pork chops were not very fresh, so they went to the chef who cooked vegetables and said, "Master, I found that the pork chops this week were not as delicious as last week." The host said, "nonsense, this is last week's pork chop!" " "

An old lady withdrew all her savings in the savings office and put them back in the bank a quarter of an hour later. The clerk asked her puzzled what it was. The old lady said angrily, I want to count how much money I have. Not allowed?

An elderly actor said to the theater manager, "sir, I have worked here for 25 years." Can you consider improving my treatment? "

"No problem, in the future, whenever I need to eat on the stage, I will board the plane and see a beautiful woman sitting in my position. So I asked a gentleman, are you from 36A? Mm blushed and replied: I … I'm from 36B … I'm sweating: I mean my seat is near the window 36A!

Let you play a male classmate on a business trip to a place, a female classmate goes to see him, and two people talk about salary. The gay man asked, "What is your after-tax salary?" "Female classmate face a red, whispered:" what money to sleep with old classmates, you sleep first, I'll take a shower. "Force me again, and then force me to play dead for you!

With so many people looking down on me, who are you?

If you give it to me, you don't have to worry, there is nothing wrong!

4. relax, I'm not a good person ...

Don't thank me, I dare to accept your money after thanking you!

6. Don't tell me to bring it on-I have two generations of love!

7. If you ignore me, I will become a dog!

8. When is the bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

9. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

10. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, he should be dead!

1 1. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

12. Do you drink water, water or water? You choose!

13. Hey, keep your voice down for what you should say.

14. Zi said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

15. Don't think I'm unattainable just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

16. It's a nice day, windy and rainy.

17. As a typical failure, you are really successful!

18. Two heads are better than one.

19. In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves, ...

20. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

2 1. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. If you owe money, you have to pay it back

22. A: Where to eat? I am broke. Let's go out for dinner. My treat.

A: It's hard to swallow this evil spirit without revenge. How can I let you die?

24. There is a road in the book mountain. Do it first and learn from the sea.

25. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to our grandchildren.

26. How much is this pair of shoes?

27. I was really blind at first ... Be happy ~ I was too nervous at work ~ ~ ~ I changed my mind ~ ~ ~

28. People have many backgrounds, but I only have my back.

29. I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say too much about what you like to hear.

30. Love is like two people pulling a rubber band. The injured person is always the one who won't let go.

3 1. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver.

32. You told me to get out, and I got out. You told me to come back. Sorry, I'm leaving.

33. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

34. You are such a bitch. You are so forgetful.

35. An unmarried woman lamented: Why have mature men and excellent men become husbands, and no married man is decent? She was reminded that a wife produces a good husband by selling herself, and no man can learn by himself.

36. Gold that does not want to be deformed is not good steel.

37. A male classmate who got married not long ago called and said … he often hangs around in the kitchen, so he can't cut his hand …

The old man divided his inheritance before he died. He said to his eldest son, "Your daughter-in-law is going to give birth soon. I'll leave you my passbook." He said to his second son, "You will get married soon, and I will leave you the house." . Finally, I said to my youngest son, "I don't trust you the most." I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I will leave you the most precious legacy. " The younger son secretly rejoiced, and the old man said, "There are more than 300 young girls in my QQ friends column, and the number is * * * *."

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad if you don't pass the exam next time!" " "The next day, my son came back:" Sorry, brother! " "

The woman reported the case: "I put my money in my bra and was stolen by a handsome guy in a crowded subway ..." Bohr. Ice wondered, "Didn't you notice such a sensitive place?" The woman blushed and replied, "who would have thought he was touching money?"

Every time my wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for a long time. This happened more often, and her husband asked her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? " The wife said, "Brush the toilet!" The husband asked, "Can I get rid of the gas by brushing the toilet?" The wife said, "I don't know. Anyway, the priest played golf with your toothbrush. The nun watched, and the first shot missed. The priest scolded: "TMD, missed!" " Hit again, the priest scolded again: "TMD, missed again!" "The nun said," God will punish you for swearing as a priest. "The words sound just fell and a lightning strike killed the nun. The priest wants to know: why am I the one who cursed? Why should I hack a nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" " "

One day, my brother went to the primary school attached to Normal University to play basketball. He heard a junior girl ask a junior boy on the playground, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me money from 3 yuan every day, two and a half of which are for you to buy snacks. Do you think I love you or not? ! ! "

Joke: As soon as the director enters the office, the wife of the director of the office breaks in and waves a pair of women's briefs and says to the director, "My husband wears women's underwear at night, so you must take care of it." The director nodded frequently and stuffed his underwear into his pocket. When she came home at night, the director's wife found the briefs in the director's pocket while washing clothes, and said to the director, "Don't joke like this again, because people have been looking for it all day."

There are three children sitting in front of the clinic-a big boy, a little boy and a girl. The nurse asked, what's the matter, little friend? Big boy: I swallowed a glass ball. The nurse asked the other one, and you? Girl: That glass ball is mine. The nurse asked again, what about you? Little boy: I'll play next!

On the wedding night, Zhang Fei came to the strategist and asked Zhuge Liang: How to make love? I have no experience. Zhuge Liang was a little confused after hearing this. He thought it was too deep for Zhang Fei to understand, too shallow, and he looked ill-bred. He happened to see two horses mating by the river and asked, "Do you see any horses by the river? "Do it. With that, Zhang Fei went back. The next day Zhuge Liang asked, How was last night? Zhang Fei replied that it was all right, but it was a little cold by the river and there were many people watching. ..........

There is a baby wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian, not a meat eater. His parents are very worried. As a result, one day I saw the baby wolf chasing a rabbit, and my parents were very happy. Then the baby wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, "give me the carrot!" “……

Divers have a high degree of difficulty. He rolled over for a week, then somersaulted for a week and a half, and then somersaulted for a month.

There is a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, Happy England!

Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek association whose chairman had not been found …

A little rabbit went fishing in the pond, but it didn't catch it for a long time. .....

The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch any fish all day. ......

On the third day, the little rabbit still insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing. .......

The fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" " "

..... after half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... if the skin color pays off, the fluff on my face is tender and soft, which means it is very healthy ..."

Hearing this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling, looking healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "Well, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

8. In a primary school, two students are quarreling. A said, "You ... if you call again, I can call someone!" "

B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe this ... "

Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he said, "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!" " "

At this time, B was too nervous, but there was nothing he could do. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "A classmate of B, you have a visitor, please go to the academic affairs office." Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office, so I should be fine. So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came up and said, "Are you B?" "I'm sorry to have waited so long. This is 10 Hawaiian pizza with drenched chicken, 5300 yuan.

B: "I am …" Rene Liu's proposal to Jay Chou was rejected, and Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why. Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like music and beautiful women.

-Hello, please call a taxi. I am at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt. ...

-Okay, where to?

Uh ... to the knee. ...