Does anyone know of humorous stories about exquisite language, ancient and modern jokes, proverbs, advertising slogans, and prompts?

Hello, my answer is as follows:

1 Examiner: What academic qualifications?

Candidate: Didn’t graduate from elementary school.

Examiner: Have you ever had a fight?

Candidate: It’s commonplace.

Examiner: Do you have a criminal record?

Candidate: Just came out.

Examiner: What about physical fitness?

Candidate: It’s okay. You can knock over the vendor’s tricycle with one kick.

Examiner: Do you dare to take other people’s things?

Candidate: This is my strength, just like taking my own things.

Examiner: Do you dare to hit me?

Candidate: Xiaocai, my father made me disabled.

Examiner: You passed the exam. What our urban management department needs is talents like you!

Examiner: One more question, what should I do if something goes wrong?

Candidate: Just say I am a temporary worker.

Examiner: I will go to work tonight

2. One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided due to crowding. .

The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"

The man felt confused and replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

Car The Master snickered!

The woman felt angry and replied: "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly: "Can you cure it?"

The whole car People are laughing!

The bus driver stopped and leaned on the steering wheel laughing!

Two things:

The bus was overcrowded and there was a woman standing at the door.

A GG squeezed in from behind the car and wanted to get out of the car. He said to the woman: "Give way and get out of the car."

The woman did not move.

GG stepped on her when he squeezed past.

The woman turned out to be very powerful. She kept scolding: "You are crazy! You are crazy!" She was so loud that the whole car was watching.

GG remained silent. When he got off the car, he couldn't bear it any longer. He turned around and said to the woman, "You're the repeater!"

There were a few funny children behind, who kept talking. Act out the scene just now,

A said: "You are crazy, you!..." B said: "You are a repeater, you..."

Everyone in the car Laughing loudly~!

Later, a little girl also wanted to get out of the car. She squeezed past and said timidly: "I~I~I want to go on, I am not crazy~!"

Everyone in the car Laughing again~!

The woman did not speak, but a word floated from the side: "Are you out of battery?"

The whole car burst into laughter~!

3. Confucius said: Use bricks to shout when fighting, it will not lead to chaos! Take a photo! Never die again!

Buddha said; nonsense! My Buddha is compassionate! Don't play too much! A brick is almost dead! ! !

On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but the 1 yuan for the ride. Sitting from the starting station to the final station, I felt peaceful all the way. But when I got off the bus at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "Isn't it a shame for an adult to go out without taking anything with him? -- "

On Tuesday, I carried a broken wallet , containing 1 cent. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in the wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. --"

On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet. There was 100 counterfeit bills inside. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in the wallet: "It is illegal to hide large-denomination money privately. Please go to the relevant department and hand it in. --"

Thursday , I took an envelope with a stack of expired Straits Talent Newspaper in it. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and looked at it. The newspaper had been replaced by the latest Straits Talent News. I took a note with me: "This is the era of consultation. Only by updating information in a timely manner can we seize opportunities and win success." ! -- "

On Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket.

When I arrived at the terminal, I still had my phone with an extra note: "Please don't make this joke and affect the normal work of our company. --"

On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it on my waist. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the gun was missing and a note was stuffed in the waistband of my trousers: "I hate you the most when it comes to robberies. You have no technical skills at all! Confiscate the crime tools! --"

On Sunday, I I was about to get on the bus, but there were too many people and I couldn’t squeeze in. While I was waiting for the next bus, I touched my pocket and found an extra 20 bucks, and a note: "Brother, it's not easy for people in our line of work to be exposed to the sun and wind all day long. I would like to give you 20 bucks." , take a taxi wherever you want to go, please don't tease us any more"

6. There were too many people on the bus one day. It was very hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted. Now the environment is getting worse. My friend really couldn't bear it, and he didn't know who it was, so there was nothing he could do. Just then, the conductor was asking: "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket!" Suddenly, a very fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly: "I've already bought a ticket!"

On July 7, a sculpture was completed in a new university building: a girl holding a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students, and many people's slogans coincided with each other - studying is useless!

9. The situation of losing bicycles in school is very serious. New bicycles disappear in the blink of an eye. However, sometimes you are lucky and the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, a classmate in the same dormitory, bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone she met and said, "I have installed the latest lock on this car!" The next day, Xiao Jing returned from studying at night, looking depressed. He looked like he was holding a piece of paper in his hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days!

A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again. So I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and posted a note to the thief: Let's see how you can "borrow" it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found five extra locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: Let's see how you keep riding!

10. There were three little tadpoles. They went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... It was fried frogs..

Three little tadpoles. They all sang in unison: I don’t want to, I don’t want to, don’t want to grow up...

11, one day, Cao Cao captured Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them, each of you go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought out an apple. Cao Cao said that if they could put the fruit into their butts, he would let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while, but failed and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes. Cao Cao also said the same thing to him, and Guan Yu began to stuff them... When he stuffed the third grape, Guan Yu suddenly burst into laughter, and the grapes were smashed. was killed. After going down to the underworld, the King of Hell asked Guan Yu: "You are so stupid, why are you laughing? If you don't laugh, you won't die." Guan Yu sighed and said, "I don't want to either! God is jealous of the beauty! When I stuffed the third one, suddenly I saw Brother Liu walking out with a durian in his arms..."

12. Yesterday, I went to KFC to eat. The people in line behind me looked like a couple. I saw them ordering a lot of food, and then Sit next to me. After sitting down, the girl began to eat voraciously, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy gnawed on the French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind.

Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?"

The girl said directly without raising her head. : "No!"

The boy asked again: "Isn't it possible at all?"

The girl simply said: "It's not possible at all!"

The boy was stunned, looking straight at her and staying there...

At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a burger in the other. She felt that the boy was looking at her, so she stopped eating, and then He looked at the boy with pitiful eyes and whispered: "Then...can I still eat it?"

Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy was helpless and hurriedly said : "Eat, eat..."

This girl is so cute...If I don't let you chase me, I will chase her...I'll chase her with my life! ! ! !

13. I have always been restless in school. When I was a freshman, I went to self-study for the first time. I would sit in the classroom and feel depressed, and then I would go to the corridor to smoke.

Not long after I lit my cigarette, a PL girl came and asked, "We are studying in self-study now! Why did you run out?"

I said, I came out to smoke out of boredom. ,MM which class are you in? He ran out anyway.

PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class!

I was very excited and said, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed too?

She said: Well, a new student in our class ran out during self-study, and I came out to look for him.

I smiled, but it seems that he still can’t sit still. Why are you looking for him? You are not his mother!

MM: There is no way, I am his class teacher!

I was confused at the time...

A minute later, I held back a sentence: Teacher, you look so young...

14 Dad works in a glass factory Workers have the habit of wearing gloves when working.

One day after the night shift, he took a taxi home. As the car passed through a small forest in the suburbs, a cool breeze came. Dad felt a little cold, so he took out his gloves from his pocket and put them on. The driver saw it in the rearview mirror and asked cautiously: "Brother, what are you doing?"

"Oh, it's nothing, I'm used to it. , I have to wear gloves every time I work, so that I will not cut myself or leave traces..."

15 A middle-aged man went to a local private store on a business trip. hostel.

While dining the first night, the middle-aged man saw a few stains on the edge of the dish and was very worried.

He asked the hotel owner: "This dish doesn't look clean." The boss replied: "Don't worry, the mineral water will make it very clean."

Hearing With such an answer, the middle-aged man started eating with great peace of mind.

A week passed. The middle-aged man ate in the hotel every day and became familiar with a big dog in the hotel.

When the middle-aged man stepped out of the door, the dog reluctantly caught up with him and clung to him to prevent him from leaving.

The hotel owner saw it, walked up and patted the dog on the head, and said softly: "Let the guest go, mineral water."

16 Hunter hunting, looking at the tree There were two birds. I raised my gun and shot down one. I found that it was a hairless one. I was wondering when the other bird flew down and cursed the hunter: Damn it, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes and you shot her down. . . .

17 A certain hotel keeps a parrot hanging at the door. When a guest arrives, he says: "Hello, welcome!" A regular guest thought: I'll come in quickly and see how you react. One day he "sneered" and After running in, the parrot said: "His grandma's! It scared me!!!"

18 A child in the delivery room laughed loudly after being born. The delivery nurse was very strange. They gathered around and observed that the child had tight fists. Hold it, and after breaking it open, it is found that it is an abortion pill. The child only hears the child say: He *! Want to kill me? Not that easy! !

19 At the end of the performance, the leader came on stage and took the hand of the beautiful Mongolian actress and asked her her name. The actress said excitedly: Malegebi

20 Stand higher and see further; if the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if the people are humble, they will be invincible! Go your own way and let someone else take a taxi.

Wear someone else's shoes and let someone else find them.

21 What is depression? I was beaten three times on one, I was hugged by someone, my wallet was stolen, my wife ran away with someone, the only porridge left at home was sour after smelling it, my eyes rolled up, I went to the hospital for treatment. The car fell into a ditch!

22 Mooncake fell in love with Mantou and pursued her desperately, but Mantou refused to obey. Mooncake is sad: (Hong Kong accent) What is this for? Steamed Bun: My mother said, your stomach is full of intestines.

23 One day the hen flew up to the roof, and the owner angrily said, "Come down, if you don't come down I will kill all the roosters here, and your life will be worse than death." The hen laughed and said, "Finally You can go find ducks."

24 An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese were walking in the desert. As they walked, they saw a bottle, and after opening the cork, a man floated out. Come, the man said: "I am a god, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" The American was the first to say, "My first wish is for a lot of money." The god said: "This is simple. , fulfill you! Tell me about the second wish. "The American said: "I want a lot of money!" After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Bring me back. "Home." The fairy said, "No problem." So the Americans returned to the United States with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want a beautiful woman!" The fairy gave him the beautiful woman. The Frenchman said again: "I also want a beautiful woman!" The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The French finally said: "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the French back to China, he asked the Chinese what they wanted. The Chinese said: "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The god gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. The Chinese said: "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The god asked him what his third wish was. The Chinese said: "I miss the French and Americans very much. Please bring them back." The French and Americans were extremely popular, but they had no choice but to continue walking. While walking, I saw another bottle. After opening the stopper, another person appeared. The person said: "I am the younger brother of the fairy just now. My magic power is not as strong as his, so I can only grant two wishes for each of you." France The people and the Americans agreed that it would be better to let the Chinese speak first, lest they come back later. So the Chinese said: "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The god fulfilled his wish. The French and Americans urged the Chinese to express their second wish quickly. After drinking Erguotou, the Chinese said to the gods calmly: "Okay, it's okay, you can go." An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese were exploring in the jungle. As a result, they were all captured by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today and I will not eat you, but you will all have to suffer a hundred blows, but before you get a blow, you can have a wish come true." The Americans were the first to suffer the blow. He said: "Before I hit the board, put a cushion on my butt." After putting it on, the boards fell like raindrops. At first, 70 boards were okay, but after 70 boards, the cushion was smashed, and then the boards were bloody... After the beating... , the United States walked away touching its butt. After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 10 mattresses. After 1, 2, 3...100 beatings, the Japanese stood up, patted their butts, and said they were fine; then they boasted about their ability to imitate and recreate, and wanted to sit back and watch the Chinese show. The Chinese man slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Here, put the Japanese on my bed."...

One day, a farmer went to the city to seek medical treatment. When he saw the doctor, he promised: "Doctor, I have a stomachache." "It hurts." When the doctor saw a farmer, he said angrily: "Go, get your urine, feces, and blood tested." Shaoqing, who returned from farming, said to the doctor with a gloomy face: "Doctor, I swallowed the blood, I also swallowed the urine, that's the feces." . . . I can't swallow anything I say - -#'

1. The child asked his mother: "How to make a sentence using ABCDEFG?" Mom: "A! This B child is from C's family? Standing barefoot on D On top, EF is not worn either, and the little GG is still exposed.

"

2. Four results of breast enlargement: 1. Very different. 2. Not the same. 3. The same but not big. 4. Not the same big.

An elephant asked the camel: "Your mimi Why does it grow on the back? The camel said: "Stay away, I won't talk to the things on my face!" "The snake laughed wildly after listening to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. The elephant turned to the snake and said: "Laughing! You have a face with a jiji, you are not qualified! "

The driver sent the leader to attend a cultural party. The leader entered the venue. The driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that the leader and I were in the same system. The security guard said: "JB and Dan are also in the same system. JB went in." , can the egg go in? ”

An adult man came to a hotel. He saw many beautiful cars in the garage, so he asked the boss why there were so many beautiful cars. The boss told him, I have a five-year-old man. As a 3-year-old son, he does three things. If you can do it, you can pick one of the cars here and drive away. If you can’t, just keep your car. Many people can’t do it, so... he thought , a five-year-old child can do it, but he can't do it, so he gave it a try. There was a beautiful naked beauty inside. The child went over and kissed her, and he followed suit. Then the child went over and touched the beauty's whole body, and he followed suit. The third thing was that the child took out a small didi and bent it three times...

A man saw an advertisement: No Your genitals will become bigger and thicker easily without surgery! I was so happy that I sent the money immediately. After a few days, I received the package and opened it eagerly!

A village woman came to the city for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. She had not seen him for a long time. She had no choice but to ask the police for help: Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. Where is the maternal toilet?

I think I am a pervert. I have Oedipus and love. The hobby of a top-notch mature woman. Otherwise, why do I want to fuck her grandma every time I see her face?

Some people’s romances are pornographic movies, some are third-level movies, and some are comedies. Movies, some of them are literary and artistic films; I was the worst, my love process was literary and artistic films, comedies, tertiary films, pornographic films, suspense films, action films, and finally horror films. What’s even more annoying is that there were also advertisements. ...

I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a text message: "Let's break up! Before I had time to feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message: "I'm sorry, I sent it to the wrong person." "Now I am completely sad...

One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen this before. Naked man! The female driver was also furious: I wonder where you got the money from!

A man was just dumped by his girlfriend and happened to catch his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new love on the street. The more he watched, the more angry he became. I wanted to humiliate them, so I politely stepped forward to say hello, and said to my girlfriend Xinhuan disdainfully: "You don't mind my used goods! Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend laughed and said: "Every inch on the outside is old, but everything on the inside is brand new!" "

For Taiwanese businessmen doing business in the mainland, because their families are all in Taiwan, they like to go to sensual places every night. Unfortunately, one day he was caught by the police, and his Taiwan Compatriot ID card was stamped "Prostitute" "Two big words. He was very unhappy, so he spent some money through his connections to get rid of this indecent term.

A week later, his friend told him that it was done. He thought , Is there anything that can't be done in the mainland as long as you have money? After receiving the Taiwan Compatriot Certificate, he opened it excitedly and saw three big words stamped inside:

Later, he looked through it. A more powerful person wants to get rid of the three words "not a prostitute" because he thinks these three words are still indecent, so he must resolve the matter this time because he will return to Taiwan next month. Okay... His friend also assured him again and again that there would be no problem, but etiquette was absolutely essential.

Another week later, his friend came to him and said to him: This time it was really done! He quickly took the Taiwanese identity card and looked at it. It read:

"African fire bug"

At night, one person fell asleep in the dormitory of four people, and three others were discussing chasing each other. There was a lively discussion on how a girl should confess her love for the first time, but the sleeping one woke up... and said: Don't say anything, let's go to sleep...

A couple who are both 67 years old The partner attends a sex clinic.

The doctor asked: "What's the problem?"

The man replied: "Would you like to watch us have sex?"

Although the doctor felt a little confused, Still agreed.

After the treatment, the doctor said that you did a good job and there was nothing wrong with it.

So I charged them a medical fee of US$32.

In the following weeks, the couple visited the clinic several times. They made an appointment first and came to the clinic to ask the doctor to watch them have sex. The doctor also announced that there was no problem and charged $32 each time. medical expenses.

This day the doctor couldn't hold it any longer and asked: "What problem do you want to find out?"

The old man replied: "No, he is married and we You can’t go to his house. I’m married and can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60 and the Hilton charges $78. It only costs $32 at your place, and I can also use my medical insurance to deduct $28..."

In order to cooperate with the comprehensive sales of Viagra pills in China, a pharmaceutical sales company specially invited a group of advertising elites to write advertisements.

After racking his brains and thinking hard, one of them still found nothing. He felt that he was not worthy of the host's hospitality. When he handed in the paper, he looked ashamed and handed over a blank paper and said: I'm sorry, I can't think of it.

The next day, the best advertising slogan was announced, and everyone was shocked. The advertising slogan for Viagra in China was:

I think...it won’t come out...

The professor asked: What do rotten radishes and pregnant women have in common?

One student’s clever answer: It’s all the bugs that are to blame. Only scored 60 points.

Another student actually got full marks, and his answer was: It was all because he took the exam late.

Dong Zhuo hosted a banquet for Lu Bu, Li Ru and other confidants, accompanied by Diao Chan. To test their loyalty, Zhuo Mingzen painted his breasts black. During the dinner, the candles suddenly went out. After regaining their sight, everyone's hands were black and only his hands were clothed clean. Zhuo then rewarded Bu, who smiled, showing his black teeth.

Q: Who is the most miserable person in the world?

Answer: Artillery company cooking squad soldiers!

Question: Why?

Answer: A cuckold takes the blame and watches others having sex all day long!

A few little boys collected more than ten dollars to buy toys, but they were worried: What could they buy for more than ten dollars? One of them suggested: Go buy sanitary napkins! Everyone was confused and asked why? The boy said, I don’t know very well, but it was said on TV that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball, and skate, and be happy and worry-free!

Condoms say to sanitary napkins: Sister, don’t go to work. Once you go to work, I will have no business for seven days! Sanitary napkin versus condom: Brother, just be content with yourselves. If you leak, I will be out of work for ten months!

A man and woman were crossing a bridge. There was a tiger on the bridge glaring angrily. The woman thought for a moment and then took off her clothes and passed. The man also took off his clothes and passed by, but was jumped by the tiger. The man is confused? Tiger said: Do you think the stick you have is Wu Song?

The female reporter asked the farmer about the origin of mad cow disease. The farmer said that I have to milk ten times a day, but cows can only mate once a year. The reporter was puzzled; the venue owner said loudly: I rub your breasts every day and have sex once a year. How can you not be crazy?

1. Brother, stop touching me! If you touch the top and bottom, the hair will fall off. Such tender skin will bleed when you touch it! How do you want me to sell it in the future? These peaches are all fresh, just forget it if you don’t want to buy them!

2. A row of women were waiting for customers on the street. The 80-year-old woman asked curiously: What are you waiting for? *Female is annoyed: Wait for the lollipop! An old woman also joined the queue to wait for candy and was caught. The policeman asked the old woman: Can she still work even if she has no teeth? The old woman smiled and said: I can lick it.

3. A mosquito enters the city and is very hungry.

Seeing a young lady with tall breasts, she dived in and bit into her mouth. As a result, her mouth was full of silicone, so she looked up to the sky and sighed: "Oh, food safety is such a problem! Where can I find safe breast milk?"

一One day, there was a power outage at home. I picked up the phone out of boredom, but no one answered my friend's phone. I put down the phone and walked around the room boredly. Just then, the phone rang. I almost jumped to the phone.

"Hello, hello." I rarely use "hello" when I answer the phone at home, which shows how excited I am to have good luck after a long drought.

"Hello, this is the China Netcom Customer Service Center." A girl's sweet voice.

"Ah, okay, it doesn't matter."

"Ah? What did you say, sir."

"Uh... I didn't say anything. What do you have? What happened?" Apparently I was a little too excited.

"I just want to check back on your home broadband usage. Do you bother me?"

"No, of course not, it's too intrusive." At this time, the other party must have thought that I have a neurological problem, or I took too many stimulants.

"Do you think your home Internet speed is fast?"

"Well, I can't say what fast means."

"You can log in Our website has a broadband area with free movies."

"Ah, I've been there." There are more than five hundred movies available for free online viewing.

"How do you feel?"

"The film is a bit old." I said regretfully.

"(The other party couldn't help laughing and quickly returned to his normal tone) I mean how do you feel about the speed and whether there are any pauses."

"Ah, this, It’s okay. I just paused when I was watching "The Variety Star". "Really, was the pause long?"

"About thirty minutes." /p>

"Huh? No way." She still didn't believe it. "Why did it pause for so long? Did it freeze?"

"It didn't freeze. After I canceled the pause, I continued playing."

"Huh? You paused it yourself?" ”

“Yeah, what’s wrong? I have something to go out for. Can’t I take a break? Then you didn’t tell me earlier.” “I’m really aggrieved.”

"..(The other person on the phone whispered to a colleague for a tissue to wipe his sweat) No~ It's okay, you can pause it as long as you want."

Then he asked, "There have been other problems. "?"

"Let me think about it...by the way, why can't I download the song "I Do"? It's the song Faye Wong sings the most. It has a unique flavor. You like it. "I really like Faye Wong.

"Me?"

"Why do you think she divorced Dou Wei? I like both of their songs very much. For example..." I said thirty in one breath They sang a few songs by Faye Wong and Dou Wei when they were in high spirits, and they sang a few lines a cappella for about twenty minutes, but the other party couldn't stand it any longer.

"Sir, your singing is good, but I'm at work, so I can't listen to it anymore. I'm sorry."

"Oh, yes, you are at work. Haha, look I forgot. What organization are you from?"

"Network... Netcom Customer Service Center." The voice on the phone was a little choked.

"Oh...Netcom. What's the matter with you calling me?"

As soon as I finished speaking, I heard a "?" sound on the other side of the phone, and then I heard many people anxious. Shouting her name...

North Korea: Brother, I am going to do a nuclear test.

China: Okay, when?

North: 10.

中: 10? 10 what? 10 days or 10 hours?

North Korea: 9, 8, 7, 6. . .

Chinese: Your uncle

Dear Wukong:

I write this letter very slowly, because I know that you can’t read quickly.

We have moved, but the address has not changed because we brought the house number with us when we moved.

It rained twice this week, the first time for 3 days and the second time for 4 days.

Yesterday we went to buy pizza, and the clerk asked me if I wanted to cut it into 8 slices or 12 slices. I said 8 slices would be enough, and I couldn’t finish 12 slices.

I sent you a coat. I was afraid that it would be overweight when I mailed it, so I cut off the buttons and put them in the pockets.

Chang'e gave birth, and because I didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl, I didn't know whether you should be an uncle or an aunt.

Finally, I want to tell you that I wanted to send you money, but the envelope has been sealed.

The Mid-Autumn Festival is coming soon. Don’t forget to tell the children about a long, long time ago:

The sky was still blue at that time, and so was the water.

Green,

Crops grow in the ground,

Pork is safe to eat,

Mouse are still afraid of cats,

The court is reasonable.

When you get married, you have to fall in love first.

The barber shop only manages hair.

Medicines can cure diseases.

Doctors save lives and heal the wounded.

You don’t need to sleep with the director when making a movie.

You need to wear clothes when taking pictures.

The money owed must be repaid,

The father of the child is clear,

You can't sell dog meat with sheep's head,

You can't be a girl after getting married. Yes,

You have to pay to buy things.

One day a couple was walking in the park. The girl suddenly wanted to fart and said to the guy, "Husband, do you want to hear me learn cuckoo?" Birds chirping? My husband agreed that the girl farted while imitating the cuckoo call. The girl asked the boy if it sounded good. The boy said the fart was too loud and he didn’t hear it.

“Why did my girlfriend still feel the same after I took more than a dozen Yuting pills? Are you pregnant?”

I dreamed of having a 3P with Brother Chun last night! This~

I remember that I liked a girl in high school, and suddenly I was carrying a few pill bottles and asked for leave for injections. In order to win MM's favor, he skipped class and accompanied her on injections to make MM happy. In the ambiguous atmosphere, I asked casually what kind of disease did I have and why I needed to be given a bottle? MM said: I just had an abortion and I need an anti-inflammatory shot. . . . . .