Looking for modern farce scripts (3-5 episodes long)

Screenwriter: Yu Zhenming

Main characters:

Ma Xiaoshuai: Male, 30 years old, unemployed, urban gangster, glib but with a sense of justice and filial piety. I often want to put on a righteous look, but I can't hide my rudeness. Will do their best to pursue love. Cold humor, will suddenly pop up a few quite philosophical sentences.

Yang Mei: Female, 26 years old, police officer, unsmiling, with a sense of police justice, who will sacrifice some personal interests in order to investigate the case.

Wang: 22 years old. Rural girls who run away from marriage to cities are kind and pure. They don't like to talk much and don't show their feelings easily. I like this Ma Xiaoshuai silently, but I still help him pursue Yangmei without hesitation.

Awei: Ma Xiaoshuai, a 29-year-old childhood sweetheart, is single and likes to be called Viagra. He is silly and often does some ridiculous things. Exaggerated and funny.

Lin Jianshu: Yangmei's boyfriend, Yangmei's childhood sweetheart, started his own company and worked hard by hook or by crook to achieve his goal.

Xia Xue: Female, 23 years old. After graduating from college, she ran into a wall when looking for a job. She was depressed about society, so she became very realistic and indifferent. She can do anything for money.

1, Commercial Pedestrian Street, Tianwai

Pedestrians come and go in twos and threes. Ma Xiaoshuai walked slowly, looking around from time to time.

A beautiful girl came across and Ma Xiaoshuai greeted her.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (in a low voice, solemnly) Miss. ...

Girl a subconsciously gave way to the side without saying a word.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Is your mother single?

Girl A looked at Ma Xiaoshuai in horror and ran away.

Ma Xiaoshuai casually continued to move forward slowly.

A beautiful girl B came across, and Ma Xiaoshuai greeted her.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Miss. ...

Girl B: (Slow down) What can I do for you?

Ma Xiaoshuai: Is your mother single?

Girl B: (Stop) Why?

Ma Xiaoshuai: (smiling) If you are single, introduce my dad to me. My dad is single, too.

Girl B: My mother is not single, so is my grandmother, okay?

Ma Xiaoshuai: (His expression suddenly froze and blinked) Er ... A little bigger, a little bigger, (smiling again) So-are you single?

Girl B: (Simple) I'm single, but I'm not suitable for your father. I don't like mature men-I'm just like you.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Really? Great, I'm single!

Girl B: (happily) Shall we talk about it?

Ma Xiaoshuai: Speak!

Little girl voiceover: Mom.

A little girl ran from the side and took her hand.

Little girl: (looking at the girl in some horror) Mom, you walk so fast, don't you want me?

Girl B: (to the little girl fiercely) If you don't listen, I'll cut you to pieces and feed you to the wolves! (Then turns to Ma Xiaoshuai and smiles) This is my daughter. ...

Ma Xiaoshuai ran away.

Girl B: Hey, don't run, I'm not married yet. ...

Ma Xiaoshuai looked back from time to time as he ran. After running for a while, he saw that the girl didn't catch up, so he slowed down, took a deep breath and felt relieved.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (to himself) Fortunately, I was often beaten before, otherwise I wouldn't run so fast. ...

Girl C passed by, Ma Xiaoshuai subconsciously looked back and saw that it was a slim and graceful girl, so he turned to girl C and shouted as he walked.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Miss!

When girl C turned around, she was an ugly girl with freckles.

Girl C (winking at Ma Xiaoshuai, pretending to be gentle) Did the handsome guy call me?

Ma Xiaoshuai: (suddenly stops and hesitates for a moment) Er ... no, I'm looking for ... (I'm looking for that girl C quickly, and then a slightly bloated aunt in her fifties walks over and Ma Xiaoshuai points at that aunt) I'm looking for this lady ... (walks up to her aunt) What time is it, miss?

Aunt: (pretending to be shy, coy and screaming) I can't stand you. Ask the time when you see a beautiful person. Don't be so stuffy, be happy and say whatever you want.

Ma Xiaoshuai suddenly fainted to the ground.

Introduce the title of the film and the list of starring actors, screenwriters and directors.

2. Ma Xiaoshuai's living room, day and night.

Ma Fu stared at Ma Xiaoshuai seriously, and Ma Xiaoshuai bowed his head. Awei craned his neck to look at two people.

Father Ma: (knocking Ma Xiaoshuai on the head with his shoes) You unfilial thing. You didn't even have a girlfriend in your thirties. Can you live up to your dead mother?

Ma Xiaoshuai: Dad, you are not in your thirties, just thirty.

Ma Fu: 30 ... Isn't the nominal age over 30?

Awei: (taking the shoes from Father Ma) Uncle, don't be angry. Let me talk about him. I just hit Ma Xiaoshuai on the head with my shoe and my heel fell off. Awei looked at the fallen heel, gave Ma Fu his shoes, then took off his shoes and knocked on Ma Xiaoshuai. Although you and I are brothers, I won't help you this time. I am 30 years old and have no girlfriend. Isn't this worrying my uncle? (Ma Xiaoshuai glared at awei) Don't look at me. Don't compete with me. I'm only 29 years old and still young. Can you compare with me?

Ma Fu: You must give me a time today. When can I find a girlfriend?

Ma Xiaoshuai: (thinking) Three months. I'll get your daughter-in-law back in three months.

Ma Fu: (Nodding, laughing) Well, that's my son, but not too low, at least come back with sound limbs.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (holding out his chest) Don't worry, she is definitely a normal woman.

3. Ma Xiaoshuai's house is downstairs, God, outside.

Awei: (pouting at Ma Xiaoshuai) Handsome boy, kick, I know I said too much just now.

Ma Xiaoshuai looked at awei and kicked his ass.

Awei: (Touching his ass and smiling) Thank you, handsome. Why are you so generous this time? The weight is not heavy.

Ma Xiaoshuai: I'll find my girlfriend right away. Flash as far as you can.

Awei: Looking for a girlfriend? Then let me go with you, scum, to show off your greatness.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Don't affect my image. Go ahead and do what you have to do. Find a place to improve your quality.

Awei: (watching Ma Xiaoshuai leave) Well, kick me so lightly next time.

4. Inside the matchmaking agency, on the same day and inside.

A chubby girl looked at the front with her head tilted and her mouth was drooling.

In front of the girl, the computer screen is a full-screen photo of Louis Koo.

On the wall opposite the girl, there is a slogan: Learn from Lei Feng's good example and find a partner wholeheartedly.

Ma Xiaoshuai came in and saw the receptionist staring at the screen and knocking at the door.

The receptionist looked up at Ma Xiaoshuai and suddenly found herself drooling, so she wiped her saliva with her sleeve.

Receptionist: (looking at Ma Xiaoshuai) Are you looking for someone?

Ma Xiaoshuai: Yes.

Receptionist: It seems that you are also an older youth. It doesn't matter. Older young people can still find their own love. Don't feel inferior. (Ma Xiaoshuai sits down) Do you have any requirements for the woman?

Ma Xiaoshuai: (thinking) Tell the truth?

Receptionist: Certainly.

Ma Xiaoshuai: My dad forced me to look for it this time. As long as it can be solved as soon as possible, the requirements are not high, as long as it has the temperament of Maggie Cheung, the fullness of Rosamund Kwan, the eyes of Lin Xilei, the figure of Shu Qi, and then it is as young as Zhang Ziyi. Oh, by the way, it's better to have some savings, not much, just a few million. ...

Ma Xiaoshuai suddenly found that the receptionist was missing, so he leaned down and saw the receptionist foaming at the mouth and fell to the ground, so he went forward to wake her up.

Receptionist: Sorry, you are in the wrong place.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Isn't this a marriage agency?

Receptionist: You should go to a mental hospital.

5, roadside, daytime, outdoor

Ma Xiaoshuai: (angrily walks) Shit, I've never been looked down upon so much. Am I not good enough for Rosamund Kwan?

A man came across, and Ma Xiaoshuai came forward.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (to the bearer) Am I not good enough for Rosamund Kwan?

Come and see Ma Xiaoshuai, make a detour.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (to the man's back) Don't fart if you don't deserve it. It's fucking rude (turning around sadly). It seems useless for a man to have inner beauty. ...

Opposite, a sven man in a suit and tie and glasses came quickly to this side.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (Greeting) Brother.

The man slowed down and looked at Ma Xiaoshuai.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Is there anything urgent now?

Man: It's urgent. What do you want? You can't borrow money.

Ma Xiaoshuai: I don't want to borrow money. I want to lend you this suit. ...

Man: (Of course) That won't do. I am an intellectual. My education tells me that I can't tolerate your vanity, do you understand?

Ma Xiaoshuai: I can give you money.

Man: Is it great to have money? Do anything with money. Do you think I will forget my education because of money? Do you think I'm that vulgar? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going on a blind date, scum. In the face of love, money is only worth a few dollars ... how much will you give?

Ma Xiaoshuai: 50, just wear it for half an hour. This is 50 yuan.

Man: (categorically) 60, don't talk without it!

Ma Xiaoshuai: 52!

Man: 55!

Ma Xiaoshuai: 52!

Man: Deal!

Ma Xiaoshuai: (making signal with the lips to the side) Change clothes!

Man: Don't worry, I'll make a phone call first. (takes out his mobile phone and dials several numbers sadly) Hey, Xiaoli, my dad was hit by a car and now he is unconscious. He must be rushed to the hospital. I'll be there in a minute ... ah, ok ... that's very thoughtful of you. Bye. (receiving the line) Go! (Walking) I think you are cheating an ignorant girl at present. On the whole, you haven't lost your conscience, so I will help you.

6, male * * * before the toilet, day, outside.

Ma Xiaoshuai came out of the toilet in a suit and tie, sipped his wet and meticulous hair with his hand and walked forward triumphantly.

The man who borrowed clothes then came out of the toilet, leaving only a pair of shorts on his body, hunched over his back, and Ma Xiaoshuai changed his clothes on his arm.

Man: Big Brother, please pay attention to wearing something. I also paid for this suit. It's not easy for me to make your money in cold weather.

A child came with big sunglasses, and Ma Xiaoshuai went up.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Kid, where did you get your sunglasses?

Child: I found it in the garbage.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Will you lend it to your uncle?

Child: Not good.

Ma Xiaoshuai: I'll give you a dollar.

Child: That's all right.

Ma Xiaoshuai took out a dollar and handed it to the child. The child handed the sunglasses to Ma Xiaoshuai. Before Ma Xiaoshuai could pick it up, he was snatched away by a hand next to him. It turned out to be a woman.

Child: (holding the money to the woman) Mom, I made a dollar.

Woman: (to Ma Xiaoshuai) Shame on you, cheating children! (Holding out his hand to Ma Xiaoshuai) Add another piece!

7. Inside the matchmaking agency, on the same day and inside.

The receptionist kissed wildly with intoxication.

The camera zooms in, and the receptionist is kissing the photo of Louis Koo.

Ma Xiaoshuai came in wearing a suit and sunglasses and knocked at the door.

The receptionist stopped kissing and looked at Ma Xiaoshuai, immediately dumbfounded. Louis Koo's photo slipped onto the table.

Ma Xiaoshuai sat down in the chair in front of the receptionist's desk.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (waving in front of the receptionist) Miss.

Receptionist: (suddenly recovering) Ah, hello, welcome!

Ma Xiaoshuai: I'm here for marriage.

Receptionist: Welcome, a warm welcome. I'll pour you some tea first and then add some ginseng.

How's it going? How about some milk?

Ma Xiaoshuai looked at the receptionist.

Receptionist: (quickly covering his chest, shyly) Don't look at her like that. She is still a girl. I said milk.

Ma Xiaoshuai: Oh, no, I'm busy. I have something to do right away-you don't have much room. It's a pity that such a beautiful white-collar worker like you works here.

Receptionist: (extremely shy) You really, praise girls for not being so direct. (Staring shyly at Ma Xiaoshuai for a while) You are so handsome that you can tell at a glance that your parents are not related.

Ma Xiaoshuai: (dumbfounded) Ah, right, no, but I think your parents are close relatives.

Receptionist: No! They are already the seventh brother and sister. I checked, and this situation is not a close relative.

Ma Xiaoshuai glanced at the photo of Louis Koo on the table.

Receptionist: (immediately throwing the photo aside and dismissing it) I look down on those boys and girls in idolization the most. They are shallow!

………………………………………………………………

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