A funny joke.

A man fished in front of the territory and caught a squid. Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat. The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions. Squid is very happy to say: you test, you test! Then the man roasted the squid.

2. I used to suffer from schizophrenia, and now we have recovered.

3. An international student is taking a driver's license test in America, and the road sign ahead suggests turning left. Not sure, he asked the examiner, "Turn left?" A: "Yes", so ... I hung up.

4: One day, mung beans jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became red beans; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

Xiaoming cut his hair and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head is a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew …

6. Some parents are like onions, they cry as soon as they leave.

7. Little Penguin asked Grandma one day, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. Why? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

8: A pair of corn fell in love … so they decided to get married … On the wedding day … One corn couldn't find another corn … Corn asked the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn? Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.

9. In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune. Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?" Xiaohua: Xiaoming: Do you know what the teacher is playing? Xiaohua: "Piano."

10: Q: Two people fell into the trap. The dead are called dead, but what is the name of the living? B: Call for help!

1 1: Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of? A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand. Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

12: one day, a mother-in-law took a bus ... halfway through, her mother-in-law didn't know the way ... her mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this? Driver: This is my ass.

13: an egg went to the teahouse to taste tea, and it turned into a tea egg; An egg swims in the Songhua River Basin in Heilongjiang Province, and it becomes a preserved egg. Once an egg arrived in Shandong and turned into a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground, resulting in a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and turned into the original bullet; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a thermonuclear weapon. An egg is sick, and the result is a bad egg; An egg gets married, and the result becomes forgetting eight; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb; An egg ran into the flower and turned into a Hua Dan; An egg is riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; One egg is a man, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, and as a result, he becomes an illegitimate child; An egg ...

14: The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! Eagle with tears: That year, I slept, the cat climbed the tree … and then there was the owl …

15: Two dung beetles are discussing the lucky draw. A said: If I win the lottery, I will buy all the toilets around 50 miles and eat enough every day! B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the grand prize, I will pack a living person and eat something new every day! 16: Why did the chicken cross the road and get the other side?

What's that guy doing? He's shaking. Why is he shaking? He's cold. A: Oh, shivering doesn't lead to cold drawing. A: …

18: A teacher is dating his female companion and walking down the street. When it was hot, the teacher took off his clothes, and then his female companion squatted down …

19: A sausage in the refrigerator feels very cold. Then I looked at the other one next to me and felt a little comforted. I said, "Look at you, frozen like this, covered in ice!" " Guogen said, "Sorry, I'm a popsicle."

20: There is a cotton candy ball that has been played for a long time. He said, I'm so tired, I feel soft all over.

2 1: The action driven by jumping into the river is very difficult. He turns three times, then somersaults three and a half times, and then somersaults for a month.

22: mm lost her way to the university. I met a gentle professor. How can I go to college? Teaching: Only by studying hard can you go to college.

23: The director and the section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't let it go ... Soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to fart. What's your use? Big Miss: Business is not good now! Boss: Why? Miss: "Bird flu ..."

25: A woman shuddered at the sight of the kidnapper and said, "I am from XX school. Just graduated, the work is empty. I really have no money ... "Hearing this, the kidnapper burst into tears. "Elder sister, I am also from XX school. You have a diligent student ID card, and the robber in front is still from XX school. Don't worry, we will never rob our own people! "

26. I want to talk to my girlfriend ML. My girlfriend says I can't do it without taking a shower. She promised to wash the parts in cold weather. After washing, my girlfriend said shyly, "Honey, you are so lazy, where are you going to wash ..." I even fainted after listening to it. I just brushed my teeth ~ (a big taboo joke)

27: A blind beggar is begging in the street wearing sunglasses. A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred dollars. After walking for a while, the drunk turned around and Chaduya saw that the blind man was telling the truth about the hundred-dollar bill in front of the sun. The drunk came over and took back the money. "You fucking don't want to live, how dare you lie to me!" The blind beggar looked aggrieved and said, "Brother, I'm really sorry. I'm looking for a partner. He was blind and went to the toilet. I am really stupid. " "Oh, yes," so the drunk dropped the money and staggered away again …

28: bird flu-it's all caused by "paradise shit"! There are two kinds of people who have a high probability of getting bird flu-1. "animals"; 2. People who are "worse than animals".

29: B: Hey, how did you learn to smoke? B: I will when I steal the forbidden fruit from Adam and Eve ~D: Do you know why Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit? I don't know! Because Adam has no cigarettes!

30: Or someone who has just been abandoned by his girlfriend happens to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the angrier he became. He wanted to confess to them. So he said hello politely and said contemptuously to his girlfriend's new love, "You don't hate the second-hand goods I used!" " Just when he was impressed by his own creativity, his ex-girlfriend smiled and said, "One inch outside is old, and all inside is new!" "

20 10 cold joke

Two hens were chatting when they saw a rooster coming listlessly. The hens asked, "What happened? No spirit? " The rooster said, "I started a business and did a little business." The hen asked, "What business are you tired of?" The rooster sighed in the air and said, "the economic crisis has made some chicken essence impossible to sell." . . "