When an old man dies, do the grandchildren have to go back to attend the funeral?

When you emphasize the keywords "baby for several months" and "ten hours" in your question, it can be seen that you don't want to go back. You think it's troublesome, not a question of whether it should be done or not. , You’re welcome

My grandpa has passed away, and all descendants must make the final journey. Although the journey is long and hard, the deceased is the most important, so don’t make excuses to shirk the problem, otherwise you will feel guilty for it. lifetime.

Grandpa is still alive. He misses you and asks you to go back, so you must go back. If you are dead, it is only for the living people to see. Your parents also asked you to come back because of face. Can you bear the responsibility for something that happens to your eight-month-old child on the road? So I won’t take you seriously, and your parents who feel sorry for you will not ask you to go back.

If it were my mother, she would definitely say: The baby is too young, you must not come back.

Is there something wrong with your parents? There are always a lot of people attending funerals in rural areas, and your grandfather has many children and grandchildren. You are still a granddaughter, so you are not the only one missing. Don't be stupid and take your children back to suffer. An eight-month-old child cannot stand such torture.

My point of view is to look at this issue rationally and objectively. After all, the journey is too far. A baby of a few months old cannot withstand the bumps. If he does not go back, his relatives will understand.

If you don’t go back, your husband must go back. He can send the old man off on his last journey on your behalf.

When an old man is alive, he must be filial to his children. After he dies, everyone is gone. Those funerals and ceremonies are not for others to see.

If you are worried about having small children and considering that the journey is too far, you can tell your mother-in-law about the situation. I believe your mother-in-law will understand you and give reasonable explanations to your relatives and friends.

Of course, this must be negotiated with your husband. This is a family matter after all, and outsiders only serve as a reference.

I have seen a son whose biological mother died but did not come back to see her for the last time.

When I look at this question, it means I don’t want to come back. If you want to come back, don't ask why? With this time, I have already prepared my luggage for home.

After all, my grandparents are not my biological parents. Because they are separated by a generation, the family relationship has naturally weakened a lot.

Instead of worrying about this kind of thing, it is better to ask your parents for their opinions, and the result will be clear at a glance.

I understand very well that most of these daughters who are married far away are powerless, so when encountering unexpected things, they cannot make their own decisions.

There is nothing wrong with asking netizens about this matter, but how do others know the inside story of your family?

This situation is based on the respective families, and you must not copy other people's formulas.

I have been close to my grandparents since I was a child. If I don’t come, I will feel that it will be a lifelong regret. If I can come, I will naturally try my best to come back. However, if the relationship with grandparents is average or not good, it is just to silence others. To save your own face, it’s better not to come back.

It doesn’t make much sense to come here. We have children with us and it’s a long journey, so everyone understands.

An old man in our village died, and her son did not come home.

Everyone knows and understands this matter. Because my son was promising, he went to graduate school and PhD, and finally went abroad to Canada.

If he wants to go home, he will have to take a three-day flight and be quarantined locally for fourteen days after landing. This is a rule because the epidemic has not been completely eradicated.

In this case, what’s the point of having my son come back? Therefore, when his old mother passed away, no letter was given to him. Let him know that there was no meaning other than to increase his sorrow.

To be honest, when grandparents pass away, how many people are really sad? Coming home is just a formality, it doesn't matter if you come or not, it's so far away from home, and you have a baby with you.

The baby is too young. During the funeral, there are many people, noisy people and lots of crying, which is really not good for the baby. If you are frightened, become ill, or suffer disaster, it will be too late to regret.

Therefore, it is recommended that those grandchildren whose grandparents are married far away and who work in other places should try to go home to see the elderly when they can when they are healthy, and call often if they cannot come. Start a video to greet the elderly. Don’t make excuses if you want to buy something for the elderly. Online shopping is very convenient and you don’t have to go home and meet a real person in person.

In this way, if the old man suddenly passes away one day, he will not regret it and regret it for the rest of his life because he did not fulfill his filial piety.

Don’t talk so much nonsense. If you want to go back, go back. If you don’t want to go back, don’t go back. It’s true that the child is too young. As long as you are filial when you are alive, you will feel good in your heart. Peace of mind, if you didn't fulfill your filial piety during your lifetime, it doesn't matter whether you come back or not.

Question: When an old man dies, do the grandchildren have to go back to attend the funeral?

When an old man dies, to be called an old man, he must be over sixty years old. If he is a sixty-year-old man, his grandson should be at the age of school at the youngest. What if the old man who died was seventy years old? ? The grandson is about to graduate from high school or has already entered college. It is rare for a sixty-year-old grandson to still not know how to crawl.

When the grandfather passes away, do you think it is appropriate for the grandson in his teens or twenties to go to the funeral instead of going to the funeral? If the grandfather passes away at the age of sixty, the grandson will not be able to crawl in the winter, and he will not be able to crawl with him in the winter. His mother was three hundred miles away, so it was understandable that his mother would not go to grandpa's funeral. Babies and young children must be afraid of colds.

If the grandson is already sensible and has the image of grandpa in his mind, it is one thing if he does not go to the funeral with him now and he will not be able to cope with it emotionally. When he grows up, he will If you feel guilty about your grandpa all your life, don't bury the feeling of loyalty to your relatives in your young mind. If the daughter-in-law is unwilling to go to the funeral, don't bring bad luck to the next generation. The grandson must be the descendant of the grandpa, a lineage of the grandpa, and blood with the grandpa is thicker than water.

The grandson wears a colorful filial piety hat with a red cloth gourd sewn on it.

If the grandson is around 20 years old and has become an adult and has independent knowledge, he should go to the funeral for his grandfather. After the death of the grandfather, the adult grandson, except the father's uncle, is the filial son of the master. If he is the eldest grandson, the first grandson is the first son. When the eldest grandson cannot carry the flags, the eldest grandson will support his father in carrying the flags.

Therefore, when the grandfather passes away, the grandson who has already remembered the incident should go to the funeral.

Grandma passed away, and all the children and grandchildren hurried back to pay their respects. Only my cousin did not go back. When she told her the reason for not going back, all her relatives and friends scolded her and said that they would not recognize her as their niece in the future. .

My grandma passed away 10 years ago. When my family informed me that my grandma had passed away, my brother, me and my cousin all hurried back to our hometown the next day. When I rushed home, it was already twelve o'clock in the evening, and my grandma had already been laid to rest. My grandma passed away at our house, and my mother took care of her until she passed away. In the open space in front of the house, there is a large shed made of snakeskin paper, used for funerals.

According to the custom in my hometown, when an elderly person in the family dies, the descendants must keep vigil every night until the burial. Especially the night before the funeral is the most important. In order to make the funeral a beautiful one, some families will invite people to mourn, sing operas, and make faces for the deceased relatives, which can be regarded as the last act of filial piety to their relatives.

During the day, the uncle, father and brother-in-law had discussed and planned the funeral-related matters, and invited Taoist priests to pray for grandma. They also asked the earth immortal to see the burial place and the date of the burial. Preparing for burial on the sixth day after grandma passed away.

At that time, according to the birthdays and horoscopes of each family member, the conflict would have the least impact. Only my uncle's son and I had to avoid appearing in front of the coffin before the funeral to avoid evil spirits from affecting both of us.

Several of our grandchildren have already gone home, busy with grandma’s funeral. Rural affairs also pay attention to face, and the holding of funerals can reflect whether future generations are filial. My father and uncle contributed money and effort. Each of our five grandchildren contributed 800 yuan to buy firecrackers and wreaths to comfort grandma’s spirit in heaven. In rural areas, the sound of firecrackers is face. Whether the sound of firecrackers is loud and the length of time they are set off is a very important criterion.

However, the day before the funeral, my cousin had not yet come back to attend grandma’s funeral. My cousin is the daughter of my uncle. We asked our uncle to call her and ask her why her grandma didn’t come back after her death. The uncle told her that neither my cousin nor her husband could ask for leave, and the company wouldn’t approve it. Hearing this sentence, my uncle and aunt immediately became angry:

My cousin is my uncle’s eldest daughter. My uncle also has a son. My cousin is also the only granddaughter in our big family. The third uncle The brothers-in-law all gave birth to sons, so when there were many grandchildren, the granddaughter became the favorite of the family. The entire family and aunts attach great importance to their niece. Unlike other families, which favor sons over daughters and exclude granddaughters, grandma also takes good care of her cousin and gives her a lot of love.

It can be said that our siblings were raised by our grandma. When I was a child and I was still short of food, my father and uncle, the mainstays, had long-term side jobs in other places and were often away from home for a long time. My mother and aunt were usually busy with farm work and did not have much time to take care of us. We were raised by my grandma. I remember how my grandma carried my cousin and us on her back and had to do farm work. Everything is still vivid in my mind, as if it happened not long ago.

The uncle was also very angry with his cousin. Because his cousin did not come back, his relatives and friends scolded him for being unfilial to his granddaughter. He also lost face and could not hold his head high among relatives and friends. The uncle called his cousin many times, but she still refused to come back. My grandma passed away. I think no matter which company, if there is a funeral in the family of an employee, they will not refuse to ask for leave. Who doesn’t have relatives, and who hasn’t experienced the death of a relative?

So on the surface my cousin said she couldn’t take leave, but in fact she was afraid that it would cost her money to come back, and a lot of bonuses would be deducted if she took leave. In the eyes of my cousin, money is more important than grandma and more important than family ties. In order to make money, she doesn't have to attend her grandma's funeral. Now that the matter has come to this, we don’t want to mention our cousin anymore.

Before a loved one dies and prepares to seal the coffin, we also have a very important custom, that is, all family members should cut a small piece of cloth from their own clothes and wrap it together in the cloth and place it next to the deceased. On the chest, it serves as a communication link between the deceased and future generations. The old people in the village said that this way the deceased can entrust their dreams to their relatives and bless them. My cousin did not participate in grandma's funeral, so she naturally did not cut the fabric from her clothes. I wonder if grandma would mind why the granddaughter she had raised since childhood did not send her off for the last time.

After the funeral, the men, including their children and grandchildren, will line up in front of the coffin to kneel down in order, wearing mourning cloths. They will not stand up until the person carrying the spirit comes to them, walk back, and continue to kneel down. To thank grandma for her nurturing kindness; daughters, daughter-in-law, granddaughters and other female relatives will be wrapped in linen, bending down behind the coffin, lowering their heads and pulling a long piece of linen to express condolences, representing the reluctance to leave grandma. , starting from the funeral at home and continuing to the place of burial.

We arranged grandma’s funeral in a very grand manner. We also invited mourners to add to the atmosphere, and we also invited people to sing operas, because grandma likes to be lively and listen to operas. We also invited bands to help out. We invited a band, and my aunts also invited a band. The drums and trumpets were very lively. The firecrackers were placed from home to the burial place. It was basically three steps to release a box of firecrackers. The firecrackers were the kind that soared into the sky. The sound of firecrackers was almost constant throughout the process. Without my cousin, grandma's funeral was still held with dignity. But through grandma's death, we saw clearly what kind of person our cousin was.

Later, during the Chinese New Year, my cousin went back to her parents’ house to pay New Year greetings to our family, my uncle, and my third uncle. They threw the things that my cousin, my cousin’s husband, and the others had brought out of the door. , preventing them from entering the house, "You still have the nerve to come back. Isn't it more important for you to make money than grandma's death? Don't come here again in the future."

The cousin later knew that she had made an unforgivable mistake, and later repeatedly asked her father and uncle to come forward and say good things. For the sake of the uncle, the third uncle and the younger uncle gave in. The next year when my cousin and her husband come to visit me for New Year greetings, they will no longer drive them away or throw their things out, but they will not go to the cousin's house. My uncle and aunt used to treat my cousin as their own daughter, but my cousin was hurt. into their hearts. Until now, the relationship between the uncle and his cousin has not returned to what it was before. Once there is a crack in the family relationship, it cannot be repaired.

From what happened with my cousin, we can see that after my grandfather and grandmother passed away, my grandchildren must go back. Saying that I can’t take leave is purely an excuse and will only lead to scolding from my relatives and friends, and being scolded by the villagers. look down. Children want to be raised but relatives are not treated, and filial piety cannot be fulfilled during life. When grandpa and grandma pass away, it is the most basic respect for grandchildren to send them on their last journey, not to mention they are the closest relatives. People who can ignore the death of their grandfather and grandmother are not worth dating.

Money is a mirror that can reflect the human heart, and it also reflects the ugly side of my cousin’s heart. Money can be earned again, but no amount of money can make up for the loss of a loved one, let alone the dearest grandma who raised me. I hope that all the grandfathers and grandmothers in the world can be healthy and live a long life, and that all children and grandchildren can be filial to their grandparents. The elderly have something to support and the young have something to rely on!