Patriotic sketch script

"My motherland is the best" screenwriter: Wang;

People: the host (beauty), China (poor second generation), Japanese (village dressed devil, cross-eyed, holding a bayonet), American (women, men cross-dressing! Wig, big breasts, big ass! ), South African (black, as black as a ghost, with white teeth and white eyes), Miss Award.

Admission:

Moderator: Hello, audience friends! Welcome to our large-scale reality show variety show-"My motherland is the best". I am the host: Xie Nana! As soon as our program was broadcast, it became a hit overnight, and the ratings have exceeded 200%! Quickly got strong praise and attention from all walks of life at home and abroad!

At the same time, US President Barack Obama and the governments of Venezuela and Ethiopia also sent congratulatory messages to the program at the first time! Give support and affirmation to our program "My motherland is the best"! In this program, the general director of our column group-General X! Invited guests are four representatives from the United States, Japanese, Somali and China! They will prove whose motherland is the greatest in this program! Let's invite four guest contestants to the stage!

American, spoof version of Michael Jackson dance steps! Blow kisses to everyone!

The japs seem to sneak into the village and bend over to look around. (2B shape)

Africans suddenly fell down while dancing, embarrassed and embarrassed! Embarrassed smile, revealing white teeth!

Moderator: Please welcome our fourth contestant! The annual champion of our world's best show! Internet red man, the legendary Yushu in the wind, has both beauty and wisdom-poor second generation!

Poor second generation, eat candied haws! Very hanging modeling steps, arrogant! The schoolbag says "poor second generation"

The poor second generation turned around and wrote "well-off" on their backs.

Moderator: Good! What about this program! We * * * are divided into three links! What about the first link! Still shouting slogans, campaign manifestos. The second link is IQ competition. Answer quickly! The third link is the motherland where all of us choose the player of the year! Audience friends outside the venue can pick up their mobile phones, edit the short message "The Motherland You Worst in Your Heart" and send a hole-to-hole, hole-to-hole, hole-to-hole, hole-to-hole, and participate immediately! You can also call our hotline at the bottom of the screen to vote! Please welcome four contestants to shout out their slogans and campaign manifestos!

American: American (blunt foreign Mandarin): Hello! Hello everyone! My name is Ruth! Welcome to my native America at any time! (Blows a kiss) My campaign slogan is: US President Barack Obama, his wife is my aunt! We can hit whoever we want!

Japanese: Minsan, you are the seventh child! Hello everyone! I am an imperial army from Japan! My name is Kōnosuke Matsushita! Please take care (bow)! My campaign slogan is: Yasukuni Shrine is my home! Junichiro Koizumi is the greatest! We can curse whoever we want!

African (to the audience): You are so white! What cosmetics are you using? I'm Maijiasha from Africa! (Laughing, showing white teeth) I like you! My campaign slogan is: Welcome to Somalia and make you an African chicken! We can rob whoever we want!

Poor second generation: Hello everyone! I am your compatriot-the poor second generation! My campaign slogan is: My son never thinks his mother is ugly! Dogs are not too poor! No matter what my motherland is like! She is the best in my heart! I'm going to our Diaoyu Island to catch some fish when I'm free!

Moderator: Good! This is the campaign slogan!

American: America is my home! The fourth largest in the world! Military giants! The most developed economy!

McDonald's Avatar! KFC Madonna! Hollywood movies are global!

NBA games are always worrying! Coca-Cola has drunk you all into fools!

Superman Hulk Disney! Apple Google exploded! Gates, Kobe, Jobs!

Mike Monroe Lucas! Raptor osprey drone,

Keywords tomahawk laser electromagnetic gun, Zeus trident aircraft carrier,

900 military bases! Vietnam, North Korea, Iraq!

Gulf against terrorism Libya! We can fight anywhere!

Hit whoever you want! In a word! We are arrogant! We are the bosses!

Compere: It really is arrogant! How flat!

Japanese: My name is Jiro Kōnosuke Matsushita! The name is domineering and loud!

Long obscene and sunny! Japanese men are like this!

The national political arena is always in turmoil! Noda Yoshihiko is the Prime Minister!

Right-wingers, look up! Imperialism wants to expand!

Think of fascism in World War II! The Japanese imperial army is really beautiful!

Look at the current self-defense forces! Everyone is playing!

That's why I dress up like this! Take the imperial army as an example and idol!

Women call me an asshole! Men call me a rogue!

The doctor said I was crazy! My family said I was heartbroken!

No matter what they say! This is what I want.

Bagya road! (fierce bayonet) Hey! Don't say yet! It's awesome (pause)!

If you want to ask me why Japanese men are so strong? I will answer: yes! We all are. We are exposed to nuclear radiation! Our country is predestined friends with the nuclear! First the original bomb, then the nuclear power plant! I'm telling you! A person exposed to nuclear radiation is equivalent to being kicked by a donkey100000 times! So Japan is the best!

Moderator: Yes! You are strong enough!

African: My name is Mai Jiasha! Somalia has grown up! Bring a gun every day! Hang it on the bullet!

Fighting is like going to the bathroom! This country is a mess!

Women are colorful! Pirates are like traffic policemen!

Pirate style is booming! All women are scrambling to get married!

Machine gun in hand, gun on shoulder! Eat, drink and get money!

No matter how tall and burly you are, a bullet will end your short life at any time!

The biggest feature of our evolution! I just see my teeth at night (grin)!

Our most hated cosmetics! Is the whitening L 'Oreal!

No matter how much the world changes! We still run amok!

But all in all, in a word! No matter how beautiful and prosperous we were when we were pirates! Only when you push this small stove (cremator) will it be the hottest one in your life! Somali pirates are the strongest! Our motherland is the best!

Moderator: Ah! Yes! That's awesome! How dare you say such a thing in broad daylight

Poor second generation: I was born in a peace-loving country! Men, women and children only follow traditional culture!

We have been hanging the dragon totem high! China people all over the world are one family!

We don't have sophisticated weapons and equipment! A peaceful heart can melt ice and snow!

There is no Madonna among our stars! Only Teresa Teng, Liu Huan and Andy Lau!

There was no Disney in our childhood! We just need to remember the swing horse!

We don't have KFC, Coke and McDonald's! But we like jiaozi noodle tea!

We have no militant national leaders! They just want to know what we eat!

We will not bully or oppress any country! We will not visit a small temple with wooden signs, and we will not tamper with the truth of historical events! It will not privatize small islands in other countries!

Although we are a peace-loving country! But if someone attacks me! We will answer blows with blows!

Diaoyu Island belongs to China! China-China is the hometown of Diaoyu Island!

Moderator: Good! Very imposing! I was deeply shocked by you! (to the audience) Good! Our four contestants made their campaign manifestos respectively! Next, let's go to the next link! Quiz, answer first! Please take your positions for the four contestants! I'll set the question! Answer first!

Moderator: The first link! Answer wisely! Brainstorm! Legend has it that who was the first man to land on the moon in history?

American (raising his hands excitedly): Apollo! We are Americans!

Moderator: Wrong!

Poor second generation: Chang 'e!

Moderator: Congratulations! That's right. Add one point

Poor second generation: Chang 'e is hundreds of years earlier than you Apollo!

Moderator: Congratulations to the China team! In this program, the China team won the title of the best team! Please welcome the award-winning ladies to present awards! ?

Moderator: Please invite the representative of China team to deliver the acceptance speech! Poor second generation: I am very excited to stand on this podium, hmm. . . . . What should I say? Hmm. . . . . . . China stands out, China is the best, I love my home, I love my motherland!