Seek classic jokes

if you really don't wash my socks, I've decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with the party. I confess, and I confess. The following is the whole process of my acquisition of you. At that time, it was the year of the ox, and the international situation was excellent. The financial crisis in Southeast Asia had passed through the ninth five-year plan of countries whose Asian economies were gradually on the right track of healthy development and achieved great success. In such a period of peace and security, I decided to implement the acquisition plan for you.

according to my three-month follow-up observation, research and analysis, I have some understanding of your fundamentals, which can be summarized as the following points

1. You are a famous blue-chip stock with a first-class figure and a fascinating face. It is said that your pursuers once held a swearing-in meeting with 1 signatures. And the performance is stable, with a monthly salary of 3.

2. Your circulation is small. In your love chips, your parents account for 5% of the state-owned shares. In addition, you have never been in a serious relationship. The closest person is my cousin. He probably holds 15% of the circulation, which means that your real listed circulation only accounts for 35% of the total share capital.

3. Your current love price is relatively moderate, that is, an ice cream and a pack of melon seeds can make you moved. Moreover, the circulation is scattered, and there are too many people who invite you, but they all buy your love chips in small stocks such as melon seeds, toffee and chocolate. There is no obvious sign that there are long-term big villages entering the market to attract them. Of course, it is not excluded that some people use multiple accounts to attract low prices.

4. You have the concept of joining the WTO. I heard that your uncle's aunt knows that her brother-in-law is abroad. After China joins the WTO, and after China joins the WTO, it's convenient for me to follow you to dump the second-hand Dow Jones index.

5. You have a high-tech concept. I don't know anything else. Just your eyes have cutting-edge technology. Small eyes with 15 watts can emit 1 watts of electricity, which makes me stunned, even worse than energy-saving lamps.

6. You have the concept of environmental protection. When you walk on the road, you often pick up colorful pieces of paper that others carelessly drop and put them in your wallet silently. It not only beautifies the environment, but also increases income. It turns out that environmental protection really makes money.

7. You have the concept of internet. You often chat online, deal with all kinds of crazy men and often tell them your sadness as a disgruntled woman, and then eat and take after meeting. Who says e-commerce doesn't make money? This will be a stable economic growth point for you in the future.

after analyzing your fundamentals, I have strong confidence to buy you. The first is financing. I went to my central bank, my dad, and asked him to give me a loan. After careful consideration, he decided to firmly support my acquisition plan, but asked me to pay him 3 points of interest. I accepted it, for you. Then I went to my mother, a famous venture capital company, and asked for my greatest support. She reluctantly agreed, but she sent me a chief financial officer-my cousin, dear! This girl won Carrefour's Top Ten Customer Award last year, spending money faster than the US presidential election. I admit it, too, for you Then, with my salary savings and the profits from speculation on some junk stocks (my previous girlfriends), the funding problem has been basically solved.

Here's the actual combat. I decided to attract your love chips with the small ants at the bottom first. I call you every day to say hello, often send you some snacks, and tell you some half-truths and half-truths crazy stories. This series of actions is that your love K-line has received more than a dozen small yangxian lines. At this time, some experienced old investors have noticed my trend and started to pay more attention to you. I also noticed that the love chips absorbed by my single account are close to 5% of the circulation. If it exceeds, I will be listed by your family securities regulatory commission, so I will be exposed, which will lead to the low price of retail investors and my meat. So I decided to take the method of multi-account acquisition and ask your friends to come to your side and tell me how good I am and continue to absorb.

after a period of hard work, I have eaten a lot of chips and grinded out a lot of retail investors. I decided to start pulling you up. First, I invited you to eat a big food stall and took out a Zhongyang line. At this time, everyone has seen my trend and entered the market to eat food. I used to send a rose continuously, invite you to a movie, eat famous snacks and so on, and the KDJ value of your taste was passivated. Wear a yellow line on the white line of MACD index to form a golden fork; The trading strength of RSI shows a strong overbought signal, and your material needs are getting higher and higher. The 5-day moving average of K line has passed through the 1-day moving average and the 3-day moving average, and the horn of the general attack has sounded. At this time, all I need is a neutral line, which can ease the atmosphere of courtship for you, train a group of retail courtiers who buy on dips, and shake off a small number of people who have been in love for many years but are afraid of being unstable.

The next step is the main wave of my offensive against you. I sealed you on the daily limit with a huge amount of ninety-nine roses. Looking at your happy eyes, excited expression and the strength of kissing my face, I know that I am half successful. Next, I treat you to seafood, take you on a trip, and give you a platinum necklace with three daily limit plates. At this time, the whole love stock market has gone crazy, you became the first dark horse shares, the stock price kept rising, and the era of eating melon seeds and ice cream has passed. Some long-term suitors, seeing my posture and your trend, have made profits.

Several love critics whom I paid off also began to advocate, pushing your talk to Wang Fei, Zhang Neck and other Hong Kong and Taiwan divas, so when I faced some of your excessive demands, I only needed to pay a small amount of money, and naturally someone went to solve it before me to win your favor. And because of my high degree of control over you, you have always been loyal to me.

At this moment, the news of your cousin's lovelorn love came, which means that his 15% rights issue is ready to go public. This is the first bad news for the market, and the market sentiment is seriously frustrated. Everyone is at a loss, trading begins to be scattered, and the stock price slowly declines. However, due to reluctance to cut meat, your love K line lingers at the top of a stage and has a downward trend. And all I have to do is eat your cousin's rights issue, because your cousin's holding is cheap and has a lot of inside information. After I eat it, it will definitely be beneficial. So I went to visit your cousin with two Chinese, and took him to drink spicy food, wash his hair and feet, and patted his chest to make sure that he would let second time around, which of course cost me a lot of RMB, I think, for you. Finally, I succeeded. He gave me all the information about you. I have absorbed too many chips.

after I finished my cousin's acquisition plan, I have little money left. Looking at your high love price and the enthusiastic investors around you, I decided to slow down the shipment and exchange a small amount of chips for a large amount of cash. I was sold to those guys by you for inside information such as the measurements of your cat, your first love when you were five years old, and the decibel of your snoring. Looking at the excited expressions of those guys, I felt a dull pain when I counted the money. Hey … I really betrayed you.

suddenly, your fundamentals have changed greatly, and you are laid off, which means that your important pillar industry-salary is gone. After I learned the news, I was not discouraged. I knew that the time had come for a decisive battle. I immediately ran to your house and asked your state-owned shareholders (your parents) to block the news. Now I announced the policy of guaranteeing to marry you and sent two bottles of "Yak Bone Marrow Powder".

Next, I turned your love chips upside down. First, I honeyed you, and then I ignored you. I'll treat you to a big meal first, and then I'll tell you that it's AA. I bought a movie ticket for an imported blockbuster, and I grabbed it for an hour before I ran to the gate of the cinema to find you. At this time, your love K-line is in a mess, and others are surprised by the big Yinxian line for three days in a row. Everyone begins to carefully absorb love chips under the background of my conflict with you, but the stock price keeps falling. And after I gave you a cold shoulder for 5 or 6 days, when your love transaction was light, I suddenly began to counterattack. First, I admitted my mistake to you, and then I made great efforts to love you with all my money. Other small and medium-sized investors, when they saw it, immediately followed the village and made you a princess.

At this time, your parents announced your performance, financial statements and company status. In the context of your being laid off, your grandparents decided to ST you. Ha ha ha, the market is really fun at this time. I'll make a 18-degree turn and hit you on the daily limit. Other investors also panicked, and began to believe that I was shipping the goods in the previous stage. In order to recover the investment and minimize the loss, I cut the meat and left the market one after another, which led to the decline of your love K line all the way, and even pulled the limit. I also walked over and suppressed the retail investors and guided them out. At the same time, I told you through other accounts, that is, my friends, that I was actually a guy with a cold face and a warm heart. In fact, I had always loved you deeply in my heart, so I had better give him a period of time. At this time, there are also some big families who don't believe in evil spirits and try their best to eat your love chips, which is likely to catch up with you, and you are invited to save your stock price. How could I let the stock price go up again? I pulled out a killer weapon, found some love critics, and spread rumors that you eat fish but don't spit bones, sleep and bite people, get breast implants and cut off double eyelids ................................................................................................................................. I released the news that the love supervision Committee decided to suspend your trading because your share price has been falling all the way! In other words, your grandparents forbid you to fall in love at this stage, and the whole market is sensational. The former suitors fled to the wind, and those determined big families began to waver. Your stock price has quickly fallen back to the price of melon seeds and chocolate. I am secretly happy, love you as always, and constantly comfort you. At this time, my purchase price is already very low, and there are endless chips.

I'll contact your parents at once and tell them never to raise your share price by means of anti-takeover of state-owned shares. I want you to really suspend trading. After my successful operation (ask your parents for details), they agreed. Ha ha ha, you really stopped playing, but it's a special case for me, and I can still associate with you. Others, however, have to step aside. At this time, someone came to hold your love chips and sell them to me in the first-and-a-half market. I agreed, saving a life is better than making a seven-level floating map. Under my high control, now that I'm dating you, sometimes I need you to pay me back, so I'm happy ..................

Don't think that I'll just forget it. I won't marry a whore that others don't want. If I want to marry you, I'll reorganize your assets. I've decided to let your parents send you to the United States to study for half a year, and then let you shine! Your parents agreed with me and sent you abroad soon.

In the days without you, as a warm-blooded young man, I can't help feeling lonely, but I'm just speculating on some disconnection and acting. Don't look at me like that. What's good about you? You almost went public in America, and you made a foreign devil .................................................................................................................................................................. I ran in front of your parents and asked them if they could let your sister go public on the backdoor and be my wife. At this time, your father, as an old party member, told me sternly that if I did this, it would cause serious loss of state-owned assets. How can I afford the title of national prosperity as my responsibility? I gave up, I know, they wanted to blackmail me ... I took your parents to look at the house and choose a car, and took a 15-day trip to Xinmatai (I had no money at that time, but it was just an overdraft, so I used your parents' first, and then returned it to them later, anyway, it was free to write a bad check). Finally, under my strong political offensive, they agreed under the condition that I promised to travel to Europe for 2 years.

when you returned to China, I also asked them to cancel the suspension of your trading, and set you at the price of returned overseas Chinese as soon as it opened, and then it rose wildly in an instant, pulling your price to the price of the Queen's love affair, which is really sky-high! At this time, you are not only distinguished and radiant, but also a goddess that everyone can't reach. Moreover, I'm not afraid if you associate with anyone. Through your tests on me in all aspects, my shareholding has exceeded 9%, even if your parents' state-owned shares are listed, I'm not afraid, because that's what I want. Next, we will have everything, just waiting to get married ....................... < P > The above is the whole process of my acquisition of you. Are you satisfied? ..... what? You're breaking up with me? Call me too insidious? ........................... My mother told me that breaking ………