How hurtful is the cold violence in love (how severe is the cold violence)

The most disgusting way to deal with the problem of cold violence is to escape, regardless of the feelings of the other party, and no longer bring pain to others; Getting along with such people will be very tiring, and the final result will be to consume your enthusiasm and make you feel bottomless and doubt life. This is an invisible black hand behind the scenes, waiting for a bottomless black hole in the foreseeable future.

Long-term living in dire straits, seemingly dull couples are actually surging. It is chilling to really understand and explore the reasons.

With the development of economy, it has brought you a chain reaction that you have no time to care about your emotions, which is mainly reflected in their sense of independence and space. This is not limited to small families, but Nuo Nuo is a little depressed, or he is in a bad mood. He can't communicate with each other very well, playing chess, alienating the diaphragm, and it is difficult to say more.

Nowadays, cold violence is increasing year by year in some family marriage systems, and the demand for survival ability and the overall change of personal space are increasing day by day, but it alienates the care and love of the other half, leaving the other half in a puzzling situation for a long time.

When you are in love, you may not be prepared for this, and take the introversion and reticence of the other person as an advantage; Not after marriage, many things need the husband to sing, the woman to sing along, and the guidance of another partner, which can improve the family world and achieve a peaceful and healthy environment.

But after two or three times of communication, many family members appeared, unwilling to talk to each other more, and entertaining themselves with their mobile phones, even if they were watching football games, playing games and chatting with friends. I don't want to pay too much attention to the other partner's voice.

First, why does cold violence cause so many problems?

Love is different from marriage. It's sweet when you are in love, and it may be endless quarrels after marriage. When we are in love, we will infinitely enlarge each other's advantages, and we will also regard shortcomings as advantages, while after marriage, there are only infinite shortcomings. Can't find any advantages of each other? ...

Then let's reveal the psychological and emotional analysis of cold violence people and what kinds of people exist.

0 What behaviors are prone to cold violence?

In fact, cold violence is also a kind of violence, and its manifestations are mostly indifference, contempt, alienation and indifference, which leads to inexplicable violations and blows to others' mental psychology. Cold violence mainly includes domestic cold violence and workplace cold violence, both of which are actually emotional and psychological abuse. Destroy people's will and confidence through psychological means. So as to make them crazy, depressed or have other manifestations. So as to satisfy oneself, with tenacious pathological performance.

This kind of performance often comes from the lack of parents' care from his family background, or his excessive indulgence and inner loss in the process of growing up, and his mature process of not returning to healthy psychological factors.

Leslie Cheung, a movie star, suffered from depression since she was a child, which was caused by her family. When she was growing up, she lacked the necessary care and care from her relatives. Then his loneliness can be imagined, which may be accompanied by his life and the lack of love. Even such a person with excellent conduct and achievements can't release psychological pressure and return to nature healthily? Then we ordinary people may be swayed by considerations of gain and loss. Such mistakes will bring extremely unstable security factors to relatives and themselves.

In my later life, I will promote the family to reveal its nature. During this period, I may not realize that its temperament variation will bring bottomless disasters to people around me.

A situation like this is because from the beginning of school, due to family doting, being flattered by the school when I was a child, or being suppressed by some runs, my grades plummeted, being abused by excessive intervention, ashamed of my imperfect life, and becoming mentally retarded.

The occurrence of bullying on campus shows that children lack correct psychological guidance in the process of growing up, and parents lack experience in this field, either strictly discipline their children or let them be willful and lawless; We can't objectively judge the main line of things and let ourselves go, thus developing children's problems. After working for many years, my bad habits are enough to show that it is difficult to change.

Take the Hangzhou incident as an example. The second-married woman's family made the second-married man drool, and after many insinuations, he began to kill his heart. It can be seen how dark a person's growth psychology is, in front of his 1 1 year-old daughter. ...

The occurrence of events without exception, this person's psychological spirit is extremely distorted and extremely cruel, which is most likely closely related to the growing environment. I'm afraid the reason why I can be such a wicked person today is not a bad habit formed in a day or two. I didn't learn how to be a man, but I learned how to fool people and how to be abnormal.

Women need to be cautious about people who are emotionally and psychologically unsound. They would rather not marry the wrong person, or they will be killed, which shows that they are thankless.

During the period of love, there are also disputes between each other, causing alienation for a small matter. If the other person can't satisfy himself, then ignore him willfully, so as to consolidate and strengthen his poor self-esteem; Push each other with persistence and psychology to meet their ulterior motives.

It can be seen that emotionally and psychologically, everyone wants to be recognized and liked by the other party. If it is lost, people with immature minds will soon be depressed, keep their distance from others, or become cold and aloof.

Things happen in life, many emotions are blocked, and psychological imbalance is severely hit. If you can handle it, it is a healthy life; If you can't carry it, it's hard to say what ambition this person has in this life to make proud achievements.

Avoidance always likes to ignore him suddenly when you are chatting with him normally; Noisy, it is easy to be "cold violence."

When you first fell in love with him, you thought-this man is so cold and cool, and both Yu Jie Fan and Xiao Bawang Fan want to impress him with their enthusiasm. At first, his performance was not bad, it should be polite, considerate and gentle, and he did well. You think you can talk about sweet love in the future.

But after you are really with him, he will make you anxious, torture you, alienate you and make you doubt yourself. What did you do wrong? In fact, this is a psychological technique. There's nothing wrong with you anyway, but you haven't met the right person.

How to deal with cold violence?

Liu Jiji, a doctor of psychology, lasted 16 months, covering more than 2,000 families in Beijing, Tianjin, Wuhan and Changsha. The results show that more than 70% families have suffered or are suffering from different degrees of cold violence.

Two years ago, a sample survey conducted by the All-China Women's Federation showed that 25% of about 400,000 disintegrated families each year were due to family cold violence.

Cold violence is really a big killer that destroys feelings!

Campus violence needs psychological counseling, our education system needs to guide children to actively contact, and parents need to participate in such activities more, so as to achieve a unified and harmonious relationship between them. Let children form good habits psychologically and physically, and can clearly understand the degree of emotional errors.

During love, that tit-for-tat attitude should be enough. For example, when the other person is with me and feels unattractive, I am cold to the other person and the other person feels creepy. What's the matter? In this case, he is cold and I am cold. How far can such a day go?

To really get along, we must find out each other's shortcomings and her disapproval. For example, he doesn't like your habit of food, clothing, housing and transportation, and if there are contradictions and cold violence in his family. Then you can change it, you can get close to each other to correct your mistakes, discuss more, and try to make the other person talk more, so that you can understand his state of mind.

If the other person doesn't want to communicate with you, it's a big deal, or a small matter. If you are cold and violent for a long time, I advise you to let go and give him up directly. Tell him to find another way and do whatever he likes. Maybe when you are cold for a while, he may come back to you. If it is difficult for a psychologically insecure older child to live together after marriage, you have to guide and serve like mom and dad. ...

Take care of him, then your own life will revolve around a child who doesn't grow up all day without working or working hard. So, for Ma Maonan, is there such a sense of equal value?

Chen Yu in the TV series "Standing at Thirty" is such a role. Once a person has adapted to a habit for a long time in a family. His emotions and personality were completely created by his family background, and even brought him difficulties in life. He will fail like his family and satisfy his bad habits with other family members.

Sometimes animals will keep whining or growling, and so will such people. They yell hysterically to vent their inner fears, and completely use loud shouts to relieve their inner loss and get a little breathing comfort. This is a bottomless psychological torture amplification technique, and the violent tendency is enough to make people fidget.

How to deal with it? If you love her, you should help realize that more than half of people will realize that they will be gradually influenced and changed. They will exercise themselves in a happy environment, relax themselves, and remember some mutual entertainment activities. I hope that a healthy and happy life can transform my depressed mood, and gradually he will change and improve.

If you don't love him, I advise you to give up so decisively. Consult a psychologist, understand the harmful power of cold storm tendency through the doctor, make psychological preparation as soon as possible, and try to keep it if you can find a solution. If you can't or can't reach a solution beyond your personal ability, please stay away. Not everyone can do the right medicine, which requires a fairly experienced and knowledgeable interpretation of human nature.

Because you and I are neither saints, nor knowledgeable scholars and psychological educators.

How much influence does cold violence have on a person's life?

Cold violence not only has a great impact on a person's life, but also has a direct impact on the mild atmosphere of his family. Maybe she doesn't think everything is right by nature. Just like Hitler, his personality was extremely divided, and he even took pleasure in killing and setting fire. So do you still think it's normal for others to split?

Arsonists are not worthy of sympathy, but their character is not formed in a day or two. That overbearing face is also a testimony of some kind of abnormal condition, which gradually forms this person's personality deformity. Children who grow up without love and affection always want their relatives to spend more time with them, which will bring them more leaps in enjoyment, while arbitrarily asking others to take it for granted will only increase their psychological pressure.

The only resistance attitude, he can only walk away, also don't want to talk more. His fickle personality is sometimes good and sometimes bad. On such a day, we can really see such ambitious people who control their abilities at the highest level, but actually can't achieve them. Therefore, he has no matching skills and working ability, and his income is not as good as others. She is better than others in food, clothing, housing and transportation, and even wants to keep pace with others. Is it possible?

In the relationship between husband and wife in the family, there will also be such a boastful person. His wife may earn more than he does, and her heart is unbalanced. Maybe his wife's family is better than him and always wants to control each other; I hope the other party will obey the command, so I show off my vanity and satisfy myself. I have always been practical to the audience. He forgot that I had to ask others to be at his mercy, at least to put myself in a correct position and estimate my own value. ...

If you can't meet his requirements, you will try to carry out psychological attacks, cold violence, alienation, and intimidate your family to drive away severely. It is really tiring to be with such a partner, because behind the "cold violence" of the other party, there is also their own helplessness and pain. Not only do they not have the ability to solve problems, but they also don't have enough self-knowledge to understand their own problems, so it is difficult for them to have the desire to change. This may require us to pay attention to companionship and guidance, so that two people can solve the problem slowly.

In short, it can be described that this kind of person's psychological maturity is extremely imperfect, and his concept of life struggle spirit is vague and cannot be unified. From his own words, he thinks more than ability, and exploitation is stronger than vanity.

The worst thing to do is to bring harm to others, which is also different in psychological and spiritual cognition. Why is the divorce rate so high in China? It is not because these trivial matters and mental psychology cannot be analyzed in a unified and harmonious way, but because they become lost lambs.

Consuming him will only ruin your life. If you can follow the guidance, be willing to cooperate and have a clear understanding, it is still possible to lead a healthy life.

In short, the ability to solve problems is the key. Anxiety exists in most people in today's social environment, and it is only the priority of sub-health state. Some people are serious, others are gentle, and gentle people can quickly forget some unpleasant things in a pleasant environment, achieve astronomical unity, and adjust their mentality to the healthiest state. And severe anxiety can turn into another partner putting pressure on you. This pedantic pressure is targeted, and it is difficult to get yourself back in place and set sail.

People often say that happiness and unhappiness are given by themselves. Although it doesn't sound so magical, it is actually the simplest and most reasonable sentence. Yes! Who can give you health and who can give you happiness; It is entirely your own mentality that is adjusted in place. If you are happy with others, others will give you happiness. If you are unhappy with others, can others be happy with you?

On the issue of increasing one's independence, only increasing one's maverick personality and lacking independent ways is also to establish a healthy, positive and optimistic attitude. No matter who we get along with, that is, to maintain friendship and communication, we should also keep a corresponding distance. This distance produces beauty, which is the recognition of our ability to think and solve problems through self-struggle.

If we are too addicted to talking and laughing with friends, then our work will be slow and our virtues will not be well cultivated!

Of course, many people's cold violence is not completely consistent, not all relationships are suitable for the above methods, and the specific situation needs to be treated specifically, but as long as the methods are used properly, there will be no unbreakable cold violence!

Our original intention is to deal with those who like to deal with emotional problems with indifference and no solution. When you have a problem, it's your fault. Be generous and apologize. It's the other person's fault. Speak your mind and let's solve it together. Do the above operation without his cooperation.

Moreover, in the small quarrel between lovers, if the other party comes to apologize on their own initiative, we should not be arrogant, just stick to it and forgive it.

Remember, when we encounter problems, we must face them calmly and rationally, not you.

Hello everyone! I'm Shannon, and welcome to discuss the analogy of our family. thank you

# How terrible is cold violence # # How hurtful is cold violence #