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The beginning of the matter is this:

One of my cousins has to work overtime on Sunday, and her cousin has to take a driver's license test that day, so she sent her 5-year-old son to my house and asked me to look after him for one day.

Afraid of disobedience, I went to the market and bought him a lovely white rabbit.

Ask me what the rabbit eats, and I will tell him to eat carrots and all the green vegetables. I had a good time with the rabbit, so I went to read a book.

The rabbit soon finished eating the carrots and went to the refrigerator to look for vegetables. Who knows that only some peppers in my refrigerator are green? If you make trouble, break the pepper and feed it to the rabbit.

Rabbits refuse to eat, and they will eat when they quarrel. The little white rabbit was forced to hurry, and his feet kicked wildly, so he pushed the fine sand laid in his nest into his noisy eyes. I was busy rubbing it with my hands, but his hands were very hot, and I began to cry at once.

I heard him crying badly in the study, so I rushed out to ask him what was wrong. He covered his eyes with his hand and kept crying: "The rabbit kicked me, and the rabbit kicked me."

I thought the rabbit really kicked him in the eye. I was scared to death. I thought, if there is a mistake, how should I tell his parents? Call 120 when busy.

Then the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw that it was my brother's classmate. I didn't have time to say hello to him, so I ran back to comfort him. I didn't pay attention to stepping on a piece of watermelon skin he threw around and knocked my head on the door frame and fainted.

My brother's classmates quickly dialed 120, then remembered some first aid knowledge they had learned during military training and knelt on the ground to try to help me.

At this time, my brother came back. When he saw this scene, he thought his classmates were going to flirt with me, so he picked up one of his mother's pointed shoes and shone it on the unlucky man's head. Suddenly, blood gushed out.

When my brother rushed into the kitchen to get a knife, his classmates tried to explain and ran downstairs desperately.

At this time, Grandma Wang downstairs heard screams and looked out from the peephole of the security door. She saw a man with blood all over his face running down, and his brother chased him with a knife. She was so scared that she immediately called 1 10 to call the police.

It turned out that she had a slight stroke. In this panic, her hands and feet are even more clumsy. She suddenly sat on the ground and put positive pressure on the kitten's tail.

The kitten jumped out with a sigh, knocked over a pot of soup, and the flames ran around. Grandma Wang picked up a bottle of water and poured it over, but it contained Erguotou that her wife had secretly hidden. So, while putting out the fire, the whole family called 1 19.

When my brother's classmate ran away desperately, he was colliding with the emergency doctor who went upstairs. As both sides were in a hurry, they rolled into a ball and fell down the stairs.

At this time, my brother's classmates explained everything to him. But two doctors broke their arms.

After waking up, I called my cousin and brother-in-law. Cousin is drinking water. When she heard the news, she choked up and immediately rolled her eyes.

Her colleague is busy dialing120; When my cousin heard the news, he drove wildly to my house and ran three red lights.

At this time, two ambulances and two fire engines have gathered downstairs in my house. When the fireman was about to open the fire hydrant, his cousin's car suddenly came and hit the fire hydrant. Immediately, the water flowed like a river. He slammed the steering wheel again and ran into a police car that had just come.

In the back, several traffic policemen are galloping on motorcycles, and behind them, it is the municipal facilities repair car.

That day, it was like a Hollywood blockbuster showing downstairs in my house. According to statistics, only five ambulances were dispatched. I called one, my brother and classmates called one, two injured doctors called one, and my cousin's colleague called one. ...

You said you were missing one? Don't worry, didn't my cousin come back from his driving school? The old coach in the car had a heart attack again. Don't you have to make another phone call?

A room full of rabbits.

One night, an old friend I haven't contacted for a long time called from Beijing and asked me to take her "love quiz". She had a smile on her face. Seeing that her interest was so high, I readily agreed. She gave me something:

House, rabbit, tiger and myself, let me make up a story by intuition.

I thought about it and said, "There is a tiger chasing me. I was so scared that I quickly threw the rabbit to the tiger and ran into the house to hide myself ... "

The old friend smiled and said, "Wow, you are really a conservative! To tell the truth, the tiger represents your husband or wife, the rabbit represents your lover, and the house represents your family. It seems that you are a family-oriented woman and it is unlikely that you will have an affair in the future. "

After listening to what she said, I felt quite satisfied, so I repeatedly said, "That's it!" " An old friend suddenly said mysteriously on the phone, "Hey, ask your boyfriend this question and see what he says." ..."

I think, yes, now is the time to test him. My boyfriend came back from work. As soon as he stepped into the house, I greeted him and pulled him to the sofa and sat down. I can't wait to know his answer to this question, which is exactly what I expected. Who knows his story became:

"In the forest, I saw a tiger chasing a rabbit. I quickly opened the door, let the rabbit run in and hide, and then drove the tiger away ... "

After listening to my boyfriend's story, I was not only disappointed, but also sad. I kept calling him heartless, and he was stumped. After listening to my angry explanation, my boyfriend smiled. He gently pointed his finger at my forehead and said, "Oh, who told you to be a tigress?" Can't you be gentle? "Looking at my boyfriend's serious expression, I said to myself," Yes, why do you want to be a tigress! " "

The next day, after work, my boyfriend smiled all the way home. I was busy asking him what made him so happy. He laughed almost out of breath and said, "There is nothing happy, but do you know how our boss made up that story?" I shook my head.

He said, I was walking on the road and saw a fierce tigress. I learned from the hero Song Wu and killed her. When I got home and opened the door, wow! A room full of rabbits! "

A beautiful woman decided to spend a lot of money to lose weight. After spending more than 100 thousand, she felt very satisfied!

On the way home, at the newsstand, she bought a newspaper and asked her boss, "Excuse me, how old do you think I am?"

The boss said: 32.

She is so happy: 47!

Then, she went to do sales and asked the lady at the counter the same question.

Miss said, I guess it's 29 years old.

She was so happy: no, 47!

She happily went to the unified supermarket on the corner to buy a pack of chewing gum, and couldn't help asking the counter lady there. The young lady said, well, I think I'm 30.

She is so proud: 47, thank you!

While waiting for the bus, she asked the old man next to her.

The old man said: I am 78 years old and my eyes are not good. I do not see any at all. However, there is one way to be sure when you are young. If you let me put my hand in your bra, I'll definitely know.

Your age!

After a long silence, in the empty street, she finally couldn't help thinking: OK! You have a try.

The old man reached into her shirt, then into her bra and began to grope slowly and carefully.

A few minutes later, she said, guess how old I am?

The old man squeezed the last one and took out his hand. Ma 'am, you are 47 years old.

The beauty was surprised and asked in surprise: Great! How did you know?

"Promise not to get angry?"

"Don't be angry!"

The old man's answer let beauty passed out:

The old man said, "I was behind you in the queue at McDonald's." “