Strong sentences

1. Ideals are like underwear, you must have them. But you can’t just prove to everyone that you have it!

2. I’m giving you the heaviest stool gift since I’ve had feces. You’ll definitely eat a pound of it and eat more. If you feel the stool is not enough, please help yourself!

3. The person I admire most in my life is Xu Xian - because he dares to fuck a snake!

4. Giving birth can actually be called: servant.

5. In the past, you could only see your butt when you opened the swimsuit. In today's swimsuit, you can only see the swimsuit by opening your buttocks.

6. Going to class is like having sex with your wife. Although you may not be willing, she will ask you to come by name about once a month. Skipping class is like habitually masturbating. You know that doing it too often will hurt your body, but you still can't resist the pleasure of that moment. Graduation is like childbirth. No matter how abnormal you think it will be when you plan to get pregnant, no matter how abnormal it is, it will mature in 10 months or 4 years.

7. If you are cool, you will be cool, and you will have the chastity of being cool; if you are mean, you will be mean, and if you are mean, you will have dignity.

8. When I graduated from college, I looked back and realized that I had slept with a bunch of people of the same gender for so long...

9. Why do cucumbers in Europe spread viruses? ? Not gonorrhea, not syphilis, but E. coli. Can anyone tell me why?

10. Sanitary napkins are angels, they break their wings every day.

11. If you close your legs tightly, there will be nothing inside; if you open your legs, you will have everything.

12. The world is desperate. When I searched for "men's short skirts" on Taobao, it really was.

13. The word "ambiguity", literally, means longing for the sun. But one pretends to have love, and the other pretends to have a future.

14. One year ago, blood donation was held in the school square. 200CC will give you a pair of manicure equipment, and 400CC will give you a watch. A girl in the next class felt very happy when she heard about it. She ran over and asked the nurse: "What do you want to give me for 1000CC?" The nurse said calmly: "Send a coffin..."

15. One student said: "Teacher, I want to poop!" Teacher: "Speak politely!" The student was silent for a while and said: "Teacher, I want to vomit!" 16. There are 50 people in a class at a foreign language college, 2 A boy. And then, and then, and then, slowly, the two men fell in love.

17. Who has no shit in life, and who does not use paper for defecation? If you don't use toilet paper, you must use your fingers! < /p>

19. After watching the TV series, MM told me: "Journey to the West is so perverted - a man rides another man every day!"

20. Other people's wives will be angry, My wife still wants to cheer me up. Other people’s children will buy toilet paper, but my children still buy toilet paper.

21. I heard that Chinese men like men to be on top of women, and it is better for their wives to be worse than him, so man A marries woman B, man B marries woman C, man C marries woman D, and woman A accidentally marries woman A. She became a leftover woman. I heard that unmarried older literary and artistic young women in China basically fall into four endings: widowed, orphaned, stepmother, lesbian, or monk.

22. A civilized slogan that girls have never heard of - one small step forward, one giant leap for civilization!

23. It is not difficult to make your hands wet during sex. What is difficult is that your quilt is wet.

24. Three sentences summarize the emotional drama of the Three Kingdoms: Soochow loves Loli; Cao Wei controls wives; Shu and Han are all gay.

25. Keep half of it when defecating to avoid getting hungry quickly.

26. Gay friends are friends who eat KFC together, and gay friends are friends who eat instant noodles together. The former focuses on communication, while the latter focuses on efficiency.

27. All relationships that have not experienced the test of the lower body are not strong. No matter how romantic and romantic, in the end, whether it is a mule or a horse, it still has to be pulled into bed for a walk.

28. A 180MM sanitary napkin does not bring a sense of security to a woman as much as a 395MM sanitary napkin.

29. In fact, the project that is more attractive than the 7-day double flight tour to Hong Kong is: the 3-day five-day tour to Hainan.

30. Aunt is like a gray wolf. When she leaves, she always shouts: "I will definitely come back-----"

31. If there are only aunts left in the world, I'll cut you off if you leave us - and then we can be sisters with peace of mind~

32. Being single is very painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a boar a few days ago, and I felt like it Beautiful features.

33. Don’t think that by inserting your penis into the ground, you are raping the entire earth.

34. A girl who sleeps with many young men is called immodest and has no self-respect, and a young man who sleeps with many girls is called awesome. I think this theory is wrong. A young man needs to sleep with many young men to be truly awesome.

35. The Level 4 certificate is like a James Bond condom. It is only used when looking for a job. No one is willing to pick it up, wash it and use it a second time.

36. Do you know how dirty my hair is? Tossing the bangs will make them look fixed, tossing the bangs will make them drip oily, tossing the bangs will hurt the face, and tossing the bangs will take a lot of effort.

37. Animals never wear clothes, but they never develop sexual interest because the opposite sex does not wear clothes.

38. Rabbits don’t eat grass beside their nests. This sentence tells us: If rabbits don’t eat, they just eat grass beside their nests.

39. Even if you are a piece of shit, one day you will meet a dung beetle. So you don’t have to worry too much about yourself today.

40. In the past, as long as the relationship was true, age did not matter. But now, as long as the feelings are true, gender is not an issue.

41. The rejection that hurts a man most is not "you are not worthy of me", but "you are not worthy of me".

42. A certain woman’s online name is: Shangjing. I said she was too narcissistic, and she said I had misunderstood her. Strong Sentences

1. Your mother hung a bone for you when you were a child. At least you had a dog to play with!

2. Life is like shit. Sometimes you work very hard, but what comes out is just shit.

3. Don’t become bad in debauchery, just become perverted in silence.

4. I just can’t figure out how the stinking ditch of Shengou Bridge got into your mind.

5. I was very happy to find two cents. I picked it up and saw that it was money from "1992". "This money has expired"

6. Love and gambling Likewise, those who are jealous will bet on their organs.

7. The important task of the post-80s generation is to create the post-08 generation.

8. In a pigsty, you don’t have to pay attention to human etiquette.

9. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!

10. Being mean is also an art. Let’s improve this art together!

11. If I want to focus on picking up girls, if each of them plucks out a pubic hair as a souvenir, I can probably knit a sweater!

12. After graduating from college, one day I saw a classmate whom I had not contacted for a long time herding horses on the other side of the river. I laughed at him: "Young man, you are all messed up like this!" As a result, he and I quarreled. , I was angry: "Damn, if you have the guts, just let the horse come over!" He said: "Who is afraid of whom? If you have the guts, come over with the cow!"

13. Don't tell me you are virtuous. , you simply have nothing to do.

14. The difference between a lie and an oath is that one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

Fifteen. When I woke up, it was dark.

16. After marriage, men are like tablecloths, they only appear when eating.

17. My best friend said that after she was hit by a car, she struggled for her last breath and cleared the text messages on her phone before passing out!

18. In the eyes of fools, the wisdom of smart people is worthless.

19. They say you are beautiful, but in fact it is all because of your makeup.

Twenty. While loving you, this is the beginning of my challenge to fly into the flames.

21. I was joking with a sister in the private room, saying that I really miss you, Taiyang! What does my sister mean by the sun?

I say the sun is the day! My sister smiled: If you want to have sex with me, just tell me! You intellectuals!

22. Give me a fulcrum, and I will tilt the neighbor's car into the ditch to prevent him from honking the horn when he sees me.

Twenty-three, the wind blows the crotch hair flying...

Twenty-four, my God! My clothes are slimming again.

25. When you left me silently, I was in great pain and didn’t know what to do. Looking at your back, I hated myself. It was all my fault... Get up early and rush Got on the bus.

26. I am a little narrow-minded, but not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

27. When I think of the motherland not being reunified, I can’t help but want to smoke...

28. During the injection, I said: "...I am afraid of pain..." The doctor said: "Don't be afraid, I will push it in slowly!"

29. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

30. It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his own notebook... everyone knows what happened next. (Coming from the Edison Chen incident, there is no need to elaborate on the reasons)

31. If you want to choose a mature woman, her skirt will be tight.

32. Every time I see you eating pork, I feel very emotional. Originally from the same roots. Why is it too urgent to fry each other?

33. In my motherland, even foreigners regard me as a foreigner. Strong Love Sentences

A pair of lovers went to register for marriage. "Have you ever had a premarital checkup?" "I checked, and his house and car are all intact." "I mean go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and replied in a low voice: "I checked, it's a boy."

Maintaining life lies in movement, and creating life also lies in movement. The difference is - out of bed and in bed.

Keeping an empty house alone makes people wasteful; having a group of wives and concubines makes people know how to be frugal. But now, I yearn for frugality in the midst of waste all day long.

A stutterer was supervising an exam and found a student peeking in. He shouted angrily: "You, you, you, you, how dare you cheat, stand up!" Five students stood up. Classic sentences

You ask me, where is happiness? Let me tell you, if you stand on tiptoes, you will be closer to happiness. If you close your eyes, you will feel happiness...

Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to the zoo to play. When they entered, Xiao Ming pointed out Zhu Xiaohua said to the gatekeeper: "Look carefully! Come out later, don't say I stole your monkey!"

No matter how high a woman stands, squatting down can only wet the ground under her feet; The man is so awesome, he stands taller and urinates further!

During a military parade of a certain unit, the chief walked by with his head held high, saying "Hello, comrades", "Hello, chief", "Good job, comrades", "Serving the people", "Comrades are tanned", "The chief is even darker".

Two little birds saw a hunter targeting them. One said, "You protect the scene and I'll call the police!"

If you blink your eyes, I will die. If you blink again, I will come to life. If your eyes keep blinking, I will come to life!

Master Tai, just obey me! After a long, long time... Master, please spare me!

Three little animals were chatting in the forest. Xiaozhu said: Nicknames are popular nowadays, from now on you will call me Xiaozhuzhu. Little Rabbit: Okay, then I’ll call you Little Rabbit. The little chicken looked unhappy: I have something else to do, so I’ll leave first.

My dream life: sleeping until I wake up naturally, counting money until my hands cramp. My real life: Counting money until I wake up naturally, sleeping until my hands cramp...

Being single is painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow a few days ago, and I thought it was pretty and beautiful... …

Some people’s love is pornographic films, some are third-level films, some are comedies, and some are literary and artistic films; I am the worst, my love process is literary and artistic films, comedies, and third-level films. , A movies, suspense movies, action movies, and finally KB (horror) movies. What’s even more annoying is that there are fucking advertisements...

Menstruation is not only a pain for women, but also a pain for men. .

You look very creative, and living is your courage; being ugly is not your original intention, it’s just God losing his temper; you have to live bravely, if you are gone...who will foil the donkey? The beauty!

If you need consultation or advice, we will provide it for free; if you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

Men are all lustful. Those with a slightly stronger lust are called perverts, those with stronger lusts are called perverts, and those with stronger lusts are called perverts. If they are particularly strong, they become perverts. If they are lustful to the extreme, they are called body aesthetics. artist.

There are two types of men, one is lustful and the other is very lustful; there are also two types of women, one is pretending to be pure and the other is pretending to be impure.

I like to leave my life to fate: when I wake up in the morning, I will flip a coin. If it comes up heads, I will continue to sleep; if it comes up tails, I will lie in bed and watch TV. If the coin stands up after it hits the ground, I will get up and clean up the house.

Why are you so ignorant? Your uncle is here, why would you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

The female praying mantis eats the male praying mantis after mating. Is it cruel? But some women swallow countless offspring during mating...

For men, a 'godsister' is someone who can attack when advancing, defend when retreating, and is suitable for both 'gifts' and 'personal use'.

The female bird burst into tears, and the male bird said angrily: How many times have I told you, this ring was put on me by people from the Bird Research Station, not a wedding ring! I'm not married yet!

Chastity varies from person to person. For example, people will praise a girl for being a virgin, but they will also laugh at a boy for being a virgin.

After a long time, we separated. I looked at your blushing cheeks and asked you softly, do you feel happy? You lowered your head gently and replied in a sweet voice: You ate garlic today.

Girls care about the happiness of the second half of their lives, while boys care about the happiness of the lower body...

What is cruelty? If it’s a man, I’ll break three of its legs; if it’s a male dog, I’ll break its five legs!

You occupied four seats in the theater while lying down. When someone asked you to get up, you just nodded a few times and didn't move. The security guard came and said, "That's pretty cruel, brother, which way did it happen?" You gritted your teeth and said, "You fell down from the upstairs aisle!"

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, and I haven't had the chance to interrupt her.

Clerk: Miss, your ten hundred-dollar bills are all fake. Pretty girl: Ah! ...I was raped!

Note to robbers: Our bank staff only understand Spanish. Please be patient when robbing. It is best to bring a translator with you. Thank you!

My principle is: I will not offend others unless they offend me; if someone offends me, I will get angry!

Brutal people - find someone to kill you if you have nothing to do. Romantic people - find a beautiful woman to sleep with if you have nothing to do. Rich people - buy a new car and drive it. I - I picked up a cigarette butt and smoked it...

Blind date is called "distribution", falling in love is called "direct selling", and throwing hydrangea to attract a bride is called "bidding".

I am quite forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to pull out an umbrella when I go out to do errands on rainy days, so I already have ten umbrellas at home.

I've done a lot of stupid things but I didn't care. My friends call it "confidence."

Tourist: Master, is that thatched house over there a toilet? Monk: Except for the thatched house, the rest of the place is a toilet.

Driving on the road is not difficult, except for the ‘newcomers’!

Those who work in public institutions are called "iron rice bowls", and those who work in private companies are called "disposable dishes".

I don’t know how to speak. I stutter like a sheep when there are many people. I don’t like everyone’s taste. I hope you can bear with me.

In love, some people "see death as if they are home"; in marriage, some people "see death as if they were home".

The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work and beautiful dreams, you wake up the next morning and can’t remember them all!

Life is a drama and we are all Oscar winners.

When my father asked me what I wanted to pursue in life, I answered money and beautiful women, so my father slapped me fiercely in the face; when I answered career and love, my father patted my head appreciatively.

Did you know? Sister Lin did not die of illness, but she fell to death from the sky.

Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4,000 yuan from me and said he wanted to have plastic surgery. As a result, now I have no idea what he looks like.

I think I should lose weight. The last time I donated blood, a hundred milliliters of lard actually leaked out.

Someone meets a friend on the street. When he just asked about his friend's wife, he suddenly remembered that she was dead, so he changed his words: "Is she still in the original cemetery?"

If marriage is the tomb of love, one year The only wedding anniversary celebration is to 'sweep the grave'.

A young lady was walking at night and met a robber on the road: "Hand over the money!" The young lady replied: "No, even if you rape me, I won't give it to you!" The robber looked at the young lady carefully and said: "What you think is beautiful!"

If happiness is like clouds, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless and the sky is filled with stars...

A certain man’s wife often cheated on her, but she turned a blind eye to it. A colleague sent her a couplet, the first couplet: As long as life goes well, Second line: Even if the head is a little green, horizontal comment: Teenage Ninja Turtles.

For men, the upper body is cultivation, and the lower body is essence; for women, the upper body is bait, and the lower body is trap.

On Valentine’s Day, I found the phone number of a girl I had a crush on in middle school, and sent her a text message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, drink half the bowl first, and I’ll put the remaining half in the Keeping you warm in my arms... A few minutes later, she responded with a text message: Who introduced you? Four hundred at a time, seven hundred for the night.

In life, you cannot hang yourself from a tree. You have to try to die from several nearby trees several times.

The cat greets the cow. The cow made fun of the cat and said: You have a beard at such a young age! The cat was very angry and said: Why don't you wear a bra at such an old age?

Someone asked me, are you handsome? When I said I wasn’t, he punched me and told me to lie.

A foreigner who has learned some Mandarin. In the morning, he greeted the female secretary, "How are you?" The lady glared at him. He was stunned, and immediately said to her, "Mom, hello!"

Two drunk men drove wildly in a car. A: "Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead." B: "What? Aren't you driving?"

Boys are generally not allowed to go to the girls' building. They must leave before 8pm, otherwise they will arrive. At 8 o'clock, the building manager's aunt shouted loudly: Girls, it's time to see off the guests.

A farmer's daughter was so ugly that he had to let her go to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare crows. Not only did she scare away the crows, but three crows were so frightened that they sent some corn back.

If marriage is the grave of love, then the model couple is nothing more than a 'model cemetery' at best.

The father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend: "You only take my daughter to watch movies every day, but can't you do something else?" The young man was surprised and delighted: "You mean you can do other things?" Is something wrong? ”

The salary is dead. If you want to make the salary worthy of working, you have to work less. A collection of stories about heavy flavors and personalized signatures of heavy flavors

1. Yesterday a friend said that he wanted to break up with me, but I didn't agree. After all, I didn't know what position it was.

2. Other people's wives would be angry, but my wife still wants to cheer me up. Other people's children will buy toilet paper, but my children still buy toilet paper.

3. Three little white rabbits pooped together in the forest. Little White pooped a round poop, Little Black pooped a cylindrical poop, and Little Gray pooped a five-pointed star. Everyone was very surprised and asked: Xiao Hui, Xiao Hui, you are so powerful, how can you pull out the five-pointed star? Xiao Hui said coyly: Hehehe, I squeezed it with my hands.

4. I didn't like girls hesitating before, but now I feel quite comfortable.

5. Everyone must be cautious when making friends, and try to make as many friends who drink well. Yesterday, a buddy called me after drinking too much and told me that he had a crush on me for a long time! Damn it, it turns out he is gay! The most annoying thing is that he forgot about it the next day, which made me happy all night in vain!

6． As a woman, is it so difficult to have a simple love like having sex at sunrise and resting at sunset?

7. My roommate had a cough in the morning, so I mistakenly gave him laxative medicine as cough medicine. I came back at noon and asked my roommate if the medicine would work. Roommate: Taitema works. I cough and pull my pants. I cough and pull my pants. Now I don’t even dare to cough.

8. Humans have 206 bones. The moment the wind blows up your skirt, I have 207.

9. A swimmer fell into a cesspit. He used various swimming skills such as backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly stroke, and freestyle to finally reach the shore. Just when he was about to land, he suddenly kicked his legs and touched the wall, and turned around gracefully in the water. Swimmed back again.

10. When I was young, boys liked electric toys and girls liked dolls. When they grew up, it was just the opposite.

11. Brother, can I hang out with you? I think you are very social. Although I am very cowardly, I can stab people, especially women. I can stab her out of water.

12． Since ancient times, whoever has no shit in life has to poop early or late.

13. You keep farting loudly in the office, and your colleagues can't help but ask you if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shaking and shaking, and asked you what you were doing. You replied that I had set it to vibrate!

14. Some people are like this. They feel like a maggot and the whole world is a cesspool.

15. Ah, lying in the bathtub, surrounded by white ceramics, and water surrounding me, I suddenly felt. . . I feel like shit in the toilet.

16. God gave me ten delicate jade fingers, but I use them to pick my nose.

17. A couple were having a tryst in the park. The woman asked: Will you die for me? The man looked very embarrassed, and the woman continued to ask: If you are not willing to die for me, then you don't love me, let's break up. The man hesitated for a long time, and finally took out his ears and fed the earwax to her.

18． It’s not difficult to make your hands wet when you masturbate. What’s difficult is that your quilt is wet.

19. One brother suffered from constipation and couldn't defecate in the toilet for a long time. While he was trying his best, he saw another brother rush into the toilet like wind and entered the seat next to him. As soon as he entered, there was a really violent storm. The brother was envious. He said to that buddy: Bro, I envy you so much. The buddy said: Why are you envious? I haven’t taken off my pants yet!

20. For a lazy and delicious person like me, the only way to lose weight is to poop more.

21. I woke up early in the morning and saw my boyfriend playing with him. I went behind him and touched him provocatively, but he remained unmoved. I'm so angry, I squat down and flick his balls with my hands! Maybe he was in pain, so he got up and chased me, so I ran to the bed. This guy actually pushed me down, took off my pajamas, and flicked my balls!