How to cultivate students’ ability to correctly handle interpersonal relationships

1. The background and significance of the topic

It is reported that the Department of Sociology of Shandong University selected two job fairs for college graduates to be held in Jinan and sent out a questionnaire on-site. A survey was conducted on the supply and demand situation of college graduates, and the results show that: What employers value most when recruiting is the comprehensive quality of students, while the abilities of college students have become the focus of employers, especially interpersonal skills.

We know that the main culprit Ma Jiajue, who caused a nationwide sensation in the Yunnan University "2.23 Murder Case", embarked on the path of murder due to some minor conflicts with his classmates. This matter has to arouse our thinking. To this end, in our life, study, and work, we must face up to and solve the problems of being unwilling to interact, not knowing how to interact, and not good at interacting, shape our own image, treat interpersonal interactions with a positive attitude and behavior, and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships.

We hope that through knowledge and understanding of the characteristics of interpersonal communication and the principles of communication, we can gain some knowledge of communication. Combining these characteristics and principles, we can find appropriate ways to cultivate our interpersonal skills and promote our own interpersonal relationships.

2. Introduction to college students’ interpersonal skills

1. The meaning of interpersonal skills: Social skills refer to the ability to properly handle relationships inside and outside the organization. This includes establishing broad and harmonious relationships with the surrounding environment. The ability to absorb and transform external information, and the ability to correctly handle the relationship between up, down, left, and right.

2. Types of interpersonal skills:

(1) The ability to express understanding means the ability to express understanding Whether a person can express his or her inner thoughts must also allow others to clearly understand his or her own thoughts. The second step is to understand the expressions of others. A person's ability to express himself can also directly prove his degree of social adaptation.

(2) Interpersonal integration ability shows whether a person can experience people's trustworthiness and loveliness. It has a great relationship with the person's personality (such as introversion, etc.), but it is not entirely determined by It determines that it has more of a psychological meaning.

(3) Problem-solving ability One of the major weaknesses of current only children is their strong dependence and poor problem-solving ability. Coupled with the disadvantages of exam-oriented education, this seriously affects students' communication skills.

3. The importance of cultivating interpersonal skills

Interpersonal skills are the ability to live in harmony with others in a group or body. People are social beings. It is difficult to imagine that What will a person's life be like without society and interaction with other people? There are people who must interact with people. When we enter society, we will deal with all kinds of people. When interacting with people, whether you can get support and help from others will involve your own abilities. I believe that while we are studying in school, we must cultivate our ability to deal with classmates, teachers, leaders, and employees. When talking with classmates, one can debate different academic viewpoints, discuss different understandings of social phenomena, and improve one's thinking ability during the debate; when talking with teachers, one can exchange reading experiences, clarify different thoughts and understandings, and be inspired by them; By talking to your leader, you can fully communicate your different views on the problem, and perhaps you can train yourself not to be frightened in front of your leader; when dealing with employees, you can understand their working conditions and different mentality. Be good at communicating with people, and you will learn a lot of things that you can't learn in books.

1. Interpersonal communication is an important way to maintain the physical and mental health of college students

(1) Interpersonal relationships affect the physical and psychological conditions of college students

College students in their youth , with active thoughts and rich emotions, the need for interpersonal communication is extremely strong. Everyone longs for sincere friendship. Everyone strives to gain friendship through interpersonal communication and satisfy their material and spiritual needs. However, facing the new environment, new objects and intense study life, some students have intensified their psychological conflicts. At this time, positive interpersonal communication and good interpersonal relationships can make people happy, full of emotions, confident, and maintain an optimistic attitude towards life. Generally speaking, most students with good interpersonal relationships can maintain a cheerful personality and enthusiastic and optimistic qualities, so that they can correctly understand and deal with various practical problems, resolve various conflicts in study and life, and form positive and excellent qualities. Adapt quickly to college life.

On the contrary, if there is a lack of positive interpersonal communication, an inability to treat oneself and others correctly, a narrow-mindedness, and a short-sightedness, it is easy to create huge mental and psychological pressure, and it is difficult to resolve psychological conflicts. In severe cases, it may lead to morbid psychology. If it does not receive timely guidance, it may form a vicious cycle and seriously affect physical and mental health.

(2) Interpersonal communication affects the mood and emotional changes of college students

College students in the youth development period are in the golden age of life and are gradually developing psychologically, physiologically and socially. Towards maturity. However, in this process, once adverse factors are encountered, it can easily lead to anxiety, tension, fear, anger and other negative emotions, affecting learning and life. Practice has proved that friendly, harmonious and coordinated interpersonal communication is beneficial to college students' control and venting of bad emotions and emotions.

(3) Interpersonal communication affects the spiritual life of college students

College students are rich in emotions. In addition to intense study, they need to communicate with each other emotionally, discuss ideals, life, and tell stories. Joy, anger, sorrow and joy. Interpersonal communication is the best way to realize this desire. Through interpersonal communication, college students can meet their needs for friendship, belonging, and security. They can realize their own value in the group more deeply and vividly, and develop a sense of intimacy and attachment to the group and others, thereby gaining fulfilling life. , happy spiritual life, and promote physical and mental health.

2. Interpersonal communication is an important guarantee for the growth of college students

(1) Interpersonal communication is an important way to exchange information and acquire knowledge

Modern society is information In society, the amount of information and the value of information are unprecedented. People's requirements for possessing various information and using information are constantly growing with the expansion of the amount of information. Through interpersonal communication, we can transfer and exchange information and results with each other, enrich our experience, increase our knowledge, broaden our horizons, activate our thinking, and inspire our thoughts.

(2) Interpersonal communication is an important means for individuals to understand themselves and improve themselves.

Confucius once said: "Studying alone without friends will lead to loneliness and ignorance." Interpersonal communication can help us improve our understanding of ourselves and our understanding of others. In the process of interpersonal communication, each other gets to know each other from each other's speech and behavior. At the same time, you get to know yourself from the other person's reaction and evaluation of you. The wider the interaction, the deeper the interaction, the more complete the understanding of the other party, and the deeper the understanding of oneself. Only when you have a comprehensive understanding of others and a deep understanding of yourself can you get the understanding, sympathy, care and help of others, and self-improvement is possible.

(3) Interpersonal communication is a need for collective growth and social development.

Interpersonal communication is the link that coordinates a collective relationship and forms a collective force. And a good collective can promote the formation of excellent personality qualities of young students. Such as sense of justice, compassion, optimism, etc., all grow up in harmonious and friendly interpersonal relationships. Good interpersonal relationships can also enhance the cohesion of the student collective and become the most important educational force in the collective. Interpersonal communication is an interaction between people. Good interpersonal skills are positive. On the contrary, they are not conducive to the overall healthy development of the individual.

3. The social skills of college students are generally weak

At recent campus recruitment fairs in various universities, some business leaders said that employees’ social and communication skills are increasingly important in the presence of companies. The main driving force for winning in competition, so employers pay more attention to the "emotional intelligence" of job seekers when recruiting. Faced with the recruitment conditions set by employers, more and more college students feel the importance of interpersonal skills.

A recent survey on the career adaptability of college students showed that 41.98% of students believed that the training of interpersonal skills is "an educational content that is particularly helpful for them when looking for a job", which greatly exceeds professional abilities. Training (14.9%), basic knowledge and skills training (17.5%) and psychological quality education (17.5%) and other knowledge abilities. When answering "What qualities do you feel you are particularly lacking in choosing a career?", the highest proportion of people selected interpersonal skills was 34.8%, which was also ranked with problem-solving ability (28.8%), operational skills (25.9%), and basic skills. Knowledge (4.6%) ranked first.

Responsible for this survey, Professor Jia Xiaobo, director of the Institute of Psychology, Academy of Educational Sciences, Tianjin Normal University, believes that the survey results show that more and more college students realize that the lack of interpersonal skills has become a barrier to job hunting. "Stumbling block". According to Professor Jia, good social psychological qualities and interpersonal communication skills are not innate, but can only be acquired through continuous systematic training during the socialization process. At present, the cultivation of interpersonal communication skills is precisely the weak link in education and teaching content.

Professor Jia believes that for many years, under the baton of college entrance examination, students have paid too much attention to the pursuit of results and neglected the cultivation of other qualities such as interpersonal skills. After entering colleges and universities, schools rarely provide specialized systematic course training. As a result, many college students have high IQs but low emotional intelligence, and often cannot handle how to get along, communicate, and communicate with other people. These are the abilities and qualities that companies value most when recruiting nowadays. Therefore, it is urgent to teach college students this lesson.

In order to understand the communication skills of Chinese college students, we conducted a questionnaire survey, the content of which is shown in the appendix.

Statistical results: 15.5% of the total scores are lower than 70 points, 32.6% of the total scores are between 70 and 90 points, and 41.3% of the total scores are between 91 and 91 points. 10.6% of the total scores are greater than the score.

We conducted an analysis of the above results:

The interpersonal skills of Chinese college students are below the average level. At the same time, it can be seen that It seems that most people are more restrained in new environments and adapt slowly. They will be nervous in front of the opposite sex and non-peers, not bold enough, and do not take the initiative to interact. There are even a few students who are autistic. The lack of interpersonal skills and methods is the main impact One of the reasons for interpersonal communication among college students. Many college students lack experience in communication, especially successful experience. They want to care about people, but don't know where to start. They want to praise people, but they can't speak or express their feelings. They have a strong desire to make friends, but they always feel that there is no chance. They want to express themselves but are unable to express themselves in a relationship, and they want to express tenderness in their hearts, but their words are hard. These situations hinder the smooth progress of their interactions with others. But most people know the importance of social skills and want to improve them.

4. How to cultivate interpersonal communication skills

The core part of interpersonal communication is cooperation. The second is communication. To cultivate communication skills, you must first have a positive attitude, understand others, and care about others. In daily communication activities, you must take the initiative to communicate with others, do not passively avoid them, and dare to contact, especially dare to face people who are different from yourself, and also Don’t be afraid of your origin, appearance, and experience. Don’t close yourself off because you come from a remote area, don’t look good, or have less experience than others. Secondly, you should start from a young age, pay attention to social etiquette, and add up to a small amount. Thirdly, you should be good at doing it, and go out of school boldly. Eliminate fear, strengthen the accumulation of knowledge in communication, experience it in actual communication life, and master various methods and techniques in interpersonal communication. In addition, we must realize that in dealing with others, what moves people is sincerity. Make friends with sincerity and act with sincerity. Only sincerity can exchange for cooperation and communication with others. Sincerity is always one of the most precious emotions of human beings.

1. Principles of interpersonal communication

(1) Principle of equality: In social interpersonal communication, we must first adhere to the principle of equality. Whether it is official business or personal relationships, there is no distinction between high and low. , only by communicating as friends can we have a deep friendship. Don't feel inferior because of short working hours, lack of experience, or poor economic conditions. Don't be arrogant because you are a college graduate, young, and beautiful. These mentalities affect the smooth development of interpersonal relationships.

(2) The principle of compatibility: mainly psychological compatibility, that is, the harmonious relationship between people, tolerance, inclusion, tolerance and concession when getting along with others. Take the initiative to interact with people, make friends widely, and make good friends. Not only make friends with people similar to yourself, but also people with opposite personalities. Seek common ground while reserving differences, learn from each other and complement each other, handle competition and compatibility relationships well, and achieve better perfection. Own.

(3) The principle of mutual benefit: refers to the mutual benefit of both parties. Interpersonal communication is a two-way behavior, so there is a saying that "it is irrational to come and go without going back". Interpersonal communication that only benefits one party cannot last long. Therefore, both parties must benefit, not only materially, but also spiritually, so both parties in the relationship must pay attention to dedication and dedication.

(4) Principle of credit: Communication is inseparable from credit.

Credit refers to a person being honest, not cheating, and keeping his word. There is an ancient saying: "Once a word is spoken, it is hard to follow it." Nowadays, there is a principle of honesty. Don't make promises easily. Once you make a promise, you must try to fulfill it to avoid breaking trust. Among friends, one must be true to one's words and resolute in one's deeds, neither humble nor arrogant, dignified but not too reserved, humble but not pretentious, do not look down on and please those with high status, and do not despise those with low status to show their self-confidence and gain the trust of others.

(5) The principle of tolerance: manifested in not fussing over non-principled issues, being able to repay resentment with kindness, and being tolerant and generous. Misunderstandings and contradictions often occur in interpersonal interactions. College students have strong personalities and close contacts, so conflicts are inevitable. This requires college students not to be preoccupied in their interactions, but to be humble and generous, to be restrained, not to care about the other party's attitude or words, and to have the courage to take responsibility for their own actions, "so that the prime minister can hold the boat in his belly." He is noisy, but you are not; he is fierce, but you are not; he is scolding, but you are not scolding. As long as we are broad-minded and tolerant of others, the angry party will feel bored. Tolerance and restraint are not signs of weakness or cowardice. On the contrary, it is a measured performance, a lubricant for establishing good interpersonal relationships, and can "turn conflicts into friendship" and win more friends.

2. Interpersonal communication skills

(1) Remember other people’s surnames or first names, take the initiative to greet them, and address them appropriately to make others feel polite and valued. , giving people an approachable impression.

(2) Be generous and calm, making others feel relaxed and comfortable, and stimulating motivation for communication.

(3) Cultivate a cheerful and lively personality, so that the other person feels that it is pleasant to be with you.

(4) Cultivate humorous words and deeds that are humorous but not inappropriate, interesting but not frivolous, and provide people with beautiful enjoyment. You must be humble when interacting with others, be kind to others, and respect others, otherwise things will be counterproductive.

(5) Be calm and don’t complain randomly, so that you will not only be happy and nurturing, but others will also be in a happy mood.

(6) Pay attention to the charm of language: comfort the traumatized and encourage the failed. Compliment those who have truly achieved something and help those who are in need.

(7) People who are decisive, independent, energetic, and confident can easily inspire others' motivation to interact, win their trust, and create a charm that makes people willing to interact.

3. Be careful about how to improve interpersonal skills

Interpersonal skills are so closely related to social experience. If you can improve your interpersonal skills, people's daily social life will also be improved. improve. Not only can people reduce conflicts with others, but they can also have a more pleasant interaction experience with others.

Some people believe that interpersonal skills are an innate trait or attribute. For example, a person with high social skills is naturally more outgoing and sociable. As the saying goes, "It's easy to change a country, but it's hard to move a person's nature." Changing one's interpersonal skills is actually more difficult than moving a mountain. Most psychologists disagree. Instead, they argued that as long as the factors that predict interpersonal skills can be identified, programs can be designed to train this skill.

To effectively improve interpersonal communication skills, we can start from two aspects. One is the ability to analyze social situations, and the other is to improve the insight into other people's psychological states.

(1) The ability to analyze the environment

To effectively achieve social goals, the ability to analyze the environment must act accordingly in response to the situation. The social environment changes rapidly, and the people you interact with also have different characteristics. To adapt to different social environments and people, you must have elite observation and cognitive abilities.

The ability to analyze the environment is an important part of social skills. If a person can distinguish the subtle differences between situations, he is often better able to grasp changes in the social environment and make appropriate behaviors to adapt to different natures and ever-changing environments.

This idea of ??"adapting measures to changing circumstances" is not just advocated by modern Western psychology. In fact, it is often mentioned in ancient Chinese classics. For example, "The Doctrine of the Mean" says: "If a country has the Way, words are enough to rejuvenate the country; if the country does not have the Way, silence is enough to tolerate it." This shows that both admonishment and silence are appropriate ways of doing things, but which method should the courtiers adopt? The ideal consequences will depend on whether the country they are in is a moral or unethical country.

Take Yang Xiu mentioned at the beginning of this chapter as an example. He is a witty talent, but the lord Cao Cao he serves is a suspicious person. Yang Xiu relied on his cleverness and revealed Cao Cao's intentions many times, which led to his death. If his lord was a tolerant, understanding and manipulative person, not only would Yang Xiu not be killed, but he would be entrusted with important tasks. Although some people may lament that Yang Xiu was untimely, but in terms of "adapting to the times", it seems that Yang Xiu only focused on speaking quickly and ignored the other party's (Cao Cao's) thoughts and character, so he said some things that were true but not suitable for the other party. If you put your mind to words, your life will be wasted in vain. It can be seen that in order to successfully achieve social goals, it is necessary to judge changes in objective situations and adapt to various social situations.

In one study, we used fictitious situations and asked people how they would react in those situations. Two of the situations are:

(1) You are afraid of seeing the dentist, but now you have to go to the dentist to repair your teeth.

(2) You are held hostage in a public building by an armed man.

In both situations, people can choose to carefully observe the danger information around them. For example, in the second situation, you can pay attention to what weapons are there. They can also try to distract themselves from dangers that may make them nervous. Of course, in the situation of seeing a dentist, actively monitoring for danger will only make you more nervous, tighten your muscles, and cause more pain. But in a threatened situation, paying attention to danger can improve your chances of escape. Among those tested, some were better able to discern the difference between the two situations, choosing to be distracted in the situation of seeing the dentist and choosing to observe the environment in the situation of being coerced. Some people have significantly lower analytical abilities and choose to observe the environment in different situations.

Our research also shows that people with higher analytical skills have higher social skills. When they interact with parents, teachers, friends and people they dislike, they are better able to achieve their communication goals and are better able to improve their friendship. There is also evidence that people with high analytical skills have more pleasant interactions and are less likely to suffer from depression. It needs to be emphasized that "adapting measures to the times" does not mean blindly changing one's behavior in response to changes in the situation, nor does it mean blindly complying with the other party's will.

People with high analytical skills are not necessarily social chameleons who only know how to blindly agree. They have their own goals in life, and these goals can also be altruistic (such as raising money for someone). People with high analytical skills know how to assess the situation when pursuing these goals. They can not only help people who were initially unwilling to donate, but also make them feel happy after donating. This is the purpose of applying analytical skills.

(2) Insight into the psychological state of others

Insight into the psychological state of others is also an important part of social ability. When some people see the behavior of others, they immediately judge what kind of person the other person is from their behavior without trying to understand the situation and feelings of the other person. This emphasis on judgment over understanding is a major obstacle to the development of social skills.

In our research, subjects were given a description of a person's behavior and then asked to relay that person's information to another subject. In the process of retelling, some people spontaneously added some character and moral judgments about the characters in the story (such as "He is a"), while some people actively added analysis of the inner world of the storyteller (such as "Because he wanted to Qualified as a lawyer, so turn a blind eye to the bad things done by powerful people").

In this study, we also measured the results of the subjects’ interactions with their parents, teachers, friends, and people they disliked, and found that the more people tend to judge moral character, the worse their social skills. Difference. On the contrary, the more people tend to do inner analysis, the higher their social skills will be.

Since actively making character judgments and moral evaluations is detrimental to the development of social skills, and trying to understand people’s inner feelings is beneficial to social skills, how can we reduce the former tendency and strengthen the latter? What about tendencies?

Our research indicates that a person's view of character and morality is a very important factor. Some people think that character and morality are immutable personal qualities, and believe that everyone also has a fixed moral level and character.

Therefore, when interacting with others, they focus on inferring the personality of others from their words and deeds. There are also some people who believe that character and morality are variables and that a person's morality and character can be changed. Therefore, these people are not eager to judge the character and moral level of others in social situations. On the contrary, they will pay more attention to the relationship between some variable factors and behavior. For example, they will pay more attention to how changes in environmental factors affect a person's mental state, and how changes in mental state affect a person's behavior.

In one study, we asked people some very simple questions. For example, "A gave some souvenirs to colleagues while traveling. That is probably because--". Or "B poured a box of orange juice on his classmate's drawing, that's probably because--". Those who believe that character is immutable tend to put forward explanations such as "A is a kind person, while B is a rogue". On the contrary, people who believe that personality can be changed are more likely to come up with explanations such as "A wants to please his colleagues, while B is jealous of his classmates."

It can be seen that people who believe that personality cannot be changed pay more attention to evaluating the character and morality of others, while people who believe that personality can be changed pay more attention to other people's behavioral motivations and emotional states.

Studies have also shown that people who believe that personality is unchangeable are more likely to evaluate other people's behavior than people who believe that personality can be changed. After they see someone else do something, they have a greater tendency to immediately evaluate whether the behavior is good or bad. Because they focus on evaluating the goodness or badness of the behavior itself, it is easier to ignore the context in which the behavior occurs and the mental state of the person doing it.

People who tend to judge the quality of behavior and the moral character of others are not only prone to ignore other people’s mental states, but are also more likely to develop paranoia and prejudice because of overgeneralized evaluations of people. . There is research evidence that in the United States, people who believe that personality is immutable are more likely to have negative stereotypes about minorities in society than people who believe that personality can be changed. In Hong Kong, we also found that people who believe that morality is immutable are more discriminatory against mainlanders than those who believe that morality can be changed. For example, they may feel that people from the mainland have more negative characteristics and fewer positive characteristics. They also feel that people from the mainland have broken the law in Hong Kong and should be punished more severely.

It can be seen that the view of character and morality is not only related to social ability, it is also related to whether people in society can receive fair and equal treatment.

In summary, in order to improve one's social skills, on the one hand, one must improve one's insight into one's own and others' needs, thoughts, and feelings; on the other hand, one must carefully observe different situations and people and distinguish between them. and understanding the differences to enhance mastery of the ever-changing social environment. Although psychologists believe that social skills can be trained and improved, it is not easy to truly improve social skills, nor can it be achieved overnight. Success still depends on a person's motivation, determination, and hard work. and perseverance.

4. Break through the three aspects of social interaction

(1) Cultivation of good expression skills

People who are popular and charming in social interaction , must be someone who has mastered social eloquence skills. The basic skills of social eloquence are manifested in three aspects: timely, appropriate, and moderate.

First, it must be timely. Say it when you should say it and stop where you should stop. This is called the right time. But some people don't say what they should say in social situations. They don't say hello in time when they meet; they don't say goodbye in time when they break up; they don't apologize in time when they are rude; they don't respond in time to inquiries; they don't respond in time to requests for help... On the contrary, some people There is no stopping when one should stop. They chatter about their misfortunes in a lively and festive atmosphere; they laugh and joke when others are sad and sad; they continue to make grand remarks when the host is upset; they happily talk about "road news" in the elders' homes. Please imagine, if you met the above person in social life, what kind of impression would you have on him?

Second, it must be in moderation. The right amount of social eloquence also includes the right amount of voice. The volume should be louder when speaking in public, and the volume should be moderate during private visits. If it is a conversation between close friends or lovers, speaking quietly can express a special relationship of closeness and affection, giving people a sense of intimacy. These are all skills you should master when talking to people in social situations.

Third, social eloquence must be moderate.

It mainly refers to grasping the depth of speech according to different objects, grasping the appropriateness of speech according to different occasions, and grasping the propriety of speech according to one's own identity. Secondly, body language must be just right.

Where does the ability to speak eloquently come from? Is it natural? Some people have been trained since childhood, so their ability to express themselves appears to be stronger than others. But most people's eloquence is acquired through conscious and hard practice in adulthood.

Demosthenes, the outstanding orator in ancient Greece, had a stuttering problem when he was young. In order to correct his stuttering and pronounce clearly, he put pebbles in his mouth and recited, speaking in the strong wind. He also often recited poems, myths, tragedies and comedies. After hard practice, he finally became a world-famous orator.

Students are expected to actively participate in speech, dialogue and debate activities. Cherish the opportunity to express your opinions in public. Your eloquence will naturally improve with more on-the-spot experience. In addition, students should speak enthusiastically during class discussions or group discussions, and do not give up the opportunity to exercise. As long as you persist and train hard, your oral expression skills will definitely be enhanced. Having strong oral expression skills is also a competitive ability to enter the society. Of course, you must also clearly realize that you must have strong oral expression skills, and you must be backed by extensive knowledge and learn more various types of knowledge.

(2) Cultivation of interpersonal integration ability

To integrate into society, you first need to adjust your own concepts, face the world bravely, and accept the world. Of course, accepting the world does not mean that you wait passively and give in to difficulties, nor does it mean that you agree with negative and backward things without any principles, or even join in the trend. It requires you to accept reality with a proactive attitude, and have the courage and determination to eliminate negative phenomena in life, carry forward the main theme, and fulfill the responsibilities of contemporary college students.

Of course, interpersonal integration ability is not simply reflected in the ability to accept and identify with the world, it is also a reflection of a person's comprehensive quality. The strength of interpersonal integration ability is closely related to a person's ideological and moral character, knowledge and skills, activity ability, creative ability, ability to deal with interpersonal relationships and health status. Generally speaking, a college graduate with relatively high quality, strong abilities in all aspects, and good physical and mental health can quickly adapt to the environment and work after entering the society, even under difficult conditions and poor environments. You can also turn unfavorable factors into favorable factors and achieve good results through your own efforts.

Interpersonal integration is a kind of ability, a kind of wisdom and an art. RMI in Ohio, USA, once experienced a decline in production, low work efficiency, and employees faced unemployment and emotional instability. Jim Daniel, who was appointed as the general manager by the general secretary, faced the severe test of integrating with everyone and leading everyone to change their appearance. He posted slogans like this everywhere: "If you see a person without a smile, please give him some of your smile." "You can only succeed in anything if you do it with enthusiasm." Big Jim also changed the factory's logo into a smiling face and posted it on the factory door, office supplies, and employees' safety helmets. The sense of intimacy creates a sense of trust and belonging, and production efficiency increases by 80% without increasing investment.

From this perspective, integrating with others is not unfathomable. A sincere word, a relaxed heart-to-heart talk, and a knowing smile or look can bring you a healthy, optimistic, and peaceful state of mind, and create a relaxed and harmonious interpersonal space. The key is whether you have the awareness to continuously learn and continuously improve your abilities in this area.

(3) Cultivation of problem-solving abilities

Handling various problems in daily study and life is our most important responsibility. However, when problems come one after another and their complexity continues to increase, it is time to test our problem-solving abilities by how to systematically find out the causes of the problems, prescribe the right medicine, and solve the problems in the most efficient way.

Regarding the cultivation of problem-solving abilities, we might as well learn from IBM's method of cultivating employees. IBM has five steps to cultivate this ability:

First, define and clarify the problem: first After collecting information and confirming that the problem does exist, write the problem down and make it a statement that everyone can understand, making the problem concrete and clear to the relevant people.

Second question: You can use management techniques to assist, such as fishbone diagrams, etc. Or hold a discussion meeting with subordinates to classify the causes of problems and list the priorities for solving them.

Third, we must work out possible solutions: Invite colleagues to brainstorm, and the most important thing is to sort out these results in a systematic way. Based on whether the problem can be truly solved and whether management support can be obtained, and whether it can be put into practice and other principles.

Fourth, choose a solution and formulate an action plan: Choose the solution that has the greatest impact and is easiest to promote, and formulate an action plan immediately.

Fifth step is to promote solutions and track results: define 'success' before proceeding, continuously review the implementation of decisions during the process, and establish milestones at each stage to ensure that actions achieve their goals.