Super funny joke

1. The train in Spring Festival travel rush is so crowded that I can't carry a millimeter. Ask me if I can sit down for a while. But three seats and four people are hesitating. MM is really tired and doesn't care about anything. "Too tired, sit on your lap!" "Then she sat on her ass. In order to avoid embarrassment, she joked while chatting: "In fact, this is not bad, and you can also mix a soft seat ~" MM got up and exclaimed: "How did it become a hard seat so quickly? "2. The silly old five accidentally saw the old three urinating and ran back to the old four and said," Old four, old three, old two are the biggest! 3. Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: beautiful women are unlucky ... 4. The professor found that the stone statue of David in the studio was knocked out and then reconnected. Very angry! Professor: Who did it? The girl said in fear, sorry, professor, it's me. . . Professor: This should face down! Girl: But everything I see is upward! The prince is enchanted and can only say one sentence a year. He couldn't break the spell until he got the princess's love. When he didn't speak for five years and saved enough words to say, he came to the princess. Whispered: "Princess, I love you! ""The princess said, "What did you say?" The prince fainted. 6. The iron fences on the university campus are all sharp. In order to prevent students from crossing, the warning sign on them is like this: "A boy accidentally turns over and becomes a girl, and a girl accidentally turns over and becomes a woman." 7. A classmate's state: It is said that egg white can protect hair, and someone should wash it off after wiping it. As a result, the water was so hot that I hung an egg flower and licked it all afternoon. 8. Three men went to the woman to propose marriage. Parents: Tell me about their respective situations. A: I have 6.5438+million; B: I have a mansion worth 20 million; The woman's parents are very satisfied and ask C, what do you have at home? C: I have nothing but a child. Now the child is in your daughter's belly. A and B were speechless and left. This case tells us a simple truth: the core competitiveness is not money and houses, but people who have their own in key positions. 9. There is a pendant on my friend's mobile phone, Violent Bear, which means that all limbs can be broken and then the arm is gone. I was crazy and asked him why he was missing an arm. He was calm and expressionless and said to me, "He is a fool." 10, life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first. I'm more polite. You hang up first. 1 1. Sister takes the priest's car home at night. On the way, the lecherous priest actually put his hand on the nun's snow-white thigh! The nun shyly asked the priest, "Do you remember what article 129 of the Bible says?" After hearing this, the priest blushed and took his hand away. When he got home, the priest hurriedly opened article 129 of the Bible, only to see it read: "Go deeper and you will get great happiness!" "After reading it, the priest shouted," God, being unfamiliar with business will kill people! " "